Every wish you didn't know?

I am not sure how this is going to come across... Ever wish that you didn't know just how many times you screw things up? I mean as we walk with the Lord we become more and more aware of our sin - just how much His grace has overcome. Ane yet "...while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Rom 5:8, esv). I know that the Lord allows me to see these things, not in order to condemn me, but to allow me to see my transgressions in order to help me change more and more into the image of His Son. But there are times when it feels like I can't take the load any more. That I already have my hands full with what He has shown me yesterday, last week, last month, even last year. I see my sins against my Heavenly Father, I see my faults in how I relate to my wife and children. I see my deficiencies in my work, how I conduct, myself in public. I have thoughts that I know I need to not think. It is like the enemy of my soul is jumping up and down on my shoulders beating my head like a drum. (I do not actually hear or feel this - it is a metaphore) But two things come to mind to give me hope. The first one is the story of Job and the second is when Jesus tells Peter about his upcoming betrayal. (Job, Luke 22:31-32) In both instances the enemy has to ask for permission to tempt and/or torment - and in both cases the Lord limits the extent that the enemy may go. And in both cases the Lord brings them back to a place of righteousness and usefulness (for lack of a better word right now). In the end the relationship of these two men is unbroken and even stronger. And that is my source of my faith and hope and ultimatly my joy. Verse for today: Luke 22:31-32, ESV “Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, [4] that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.”