Is it me, or is the week dragging its feet?

This whole daylight savings thing is really causing my sense of time to fail me. I know I tend to live a fast paced lifestyle (and I am not talking nightlife here - lol), but when it takes this old man over a week to recover from the time shift some thing's wrong. Ok, nothing is wrong, I am just old. ;-)

I know it is important to keep your kids engaged in activities, but it sure wears you down. Music on Mondays; Soccer (or football for those who are not from the U.S.) on Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday; Wednesday is for 'rest'; Soon we will be doing the Horse riding therapy sessions for DS2 on Thursdays, I still have my National Guard obligation until latter this year, we do children's ministry at church so that takes up time; Awana's Sunday night; and now my beloved is working four nights during the week. By the time a day off rolls around I am pooped!

Without just coming to a screeching halt I don't know what to do... all I keep hearing is, "I'm sorry", but when I say we are too busy I just get "the look". Anyway... at least I am one day closer to seeing my heavenly home.

I am really trying not to wish the week would rush by so that I can get to Friday (when I take my beloved on a little retreat just for the two of us), but I want that time to get away from the rat race. The problem is... those two days will fly by as fast, if not faster, and then I will just have a tease of a taste of what I would like it to be more like.
Verse for today:
James 1:2-8, ESV
Count it all joy, my brothers, [2] when you meet trials of various kindsfor you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

day 15 and all is... well... mush! :)

Have you ever been so tired your eyes hurt and your body is reacting at least 1/2 second slower than your brain because there some kind of disconnect between the two? Well, I'm almost there. :) This isn't the most tired I've ever been. I once hallucinated that there was an entire Infantry platoon marching not 30 meters from where I was pulling security (it was during a war games exercise - not the real thing). I mean I saw them, I heard them, and I almost 'shot them' (with blanks). It's not so much the fact that I've worked fifteen straight days now as much as it is the past three days I've had to come into work at 03:00 (AM). Ugh! But the good news is that yesterday and today I was able to work with my telco counterpart to get tomorrow's work done early! I will now be able to take the next two days off! Hurray! :) (and there was much rejoicing, lol) The weekend was pretty much routine type stuff... Saturday is a blur in my memory right now. If I remember something that was worth writing about I'll come back and update. :) Yesterday was a busy one. Due to working the wee hours I slept through morning service at church (in bed, not in the pew ;-) ), then got up and got dressed to head out to perform a salute for veterans. One great thing about being in an Artillery unit is being able to perform salutes for things like Veteran's day. Yesterday was at a small town's VFW post, and there were only about 20 people, but it was great - and they treated us like very nicely. They invited us in for some fried chicken and fixin's (for you Yankees, that's things like macoroni salad, baked beans... that sort of thing ;-) ), and all the drinks we could drink. The 'boys' were disappointed that I told them no beer. LOL Note: I would encourage every one to do more than say, "I support our troops". Get out and talk with them - get out and talk with Veterans. Don't talk politics, or weither the war is right or wrong. Just get out and talk to them. Take one a meal if they are older, or struggling. Make up a care package to send overseas. If you want to support the troops, please do not undermine what they are trying to do - and that includes giving aid to the enemy in the form of propaganda. If you don't support the war, that's fine, it is your right to disagree. But please be careful in how you voice your opposition - because a lot of time, careless thoughts, words, and actions, really do not make the soldiers feel supported - it makes them feel rejected. Rejoice in their triumphs, and seek to point out the good things that have been done. We live in America where we are encourage to voice our opinion - and it is our right and priviledge to elect officials to provide direction. But there are times, in our zeal (both left and right here), we fail to consider the consequences of our actions. Afterwards I drove home just in time to change, wash my face, and head over to Awana's to help out. In an odd way, I was glad to find out that there was a special Veteran's day service that alll of the Awana's would be at, and since my beloved was having trouble with DS2 (my 'Aspie'), I was unable to stay - which was fine by me. I really do NOT like the spotlight or attention my uniform brings. I like serving and doing that sort of thing - it's just that I don't like the recognition. I know what most (if not all of you) are going to say, that I deserve the recognition, etc. - but I really don't feel like I do. Not in light of what so many others have done. Right now I am just a RE soldier, and the one time I was deployed it was here in the states. I've done things like flood duty, etc. - but if you add it all up we're talking a few days over a very, very long time. The men and women who do that sort of thing, day in and day out - they deserve all the recognition. It just feels like I am robbing them of what they rightly deserve - so please do not try and argue with me on this... it only makes me feel worse. So, I get DS2 home and we sit and watch a little football (I had already known by this time that my Panthers lost to the Atlanta Falcons). It was nice. We munched on animal crackers and drank milk, and watched the Baltimore Ravens score a meaningless touchdown. I mean, they lost to a team that could not get in the endzone - but kicked 7 fieldgoals! Wish I had Shayne Graham on one of my fantasy football teams! I was sort of glad to see the Rams get their first win of the season against the New Orleans Saints - but a part of me still roots for the Saints. Their season's not done - not by a long shot in the horrible NFC South. I mean even the Falcons are only 2 games back at 3-6! I am not upset about the Panthers loss yesterday. I mean, they have two QB's on IR (Basanez & Delhomme), they have a hobbling soon to be 44 year old (Testaverde), another QB who has had 2 concusions and had come from a team that had basically allowed him to get pummeled (Carr), a QB who was an undrafted rookie free agent (Moore), and yet another who was signed on Friday (Olson)because it looked like they only had one healthy QB to send into the game on Sunday! For those of you keeping score at home - that six Quarterbacks! Earlier this season an offensive lineman for the Panthers was quoted as saying, "we take it personally when our QB gets hurt"! Well, by God, you had better be feeling about knee high to a grass-hoper right about now! Last week - seven sacks! This week, well I am not sure of the total, but it was at least two more that came on the final two possesion! And both times it basically prevented the Panthers of getting back into the game. If those offensive lineman had been samurai in feudal Japan, they'd have committed sepuko long before now. There are still seven more games for this club to play (at least), and most of them are going to be against tough opponents (@ Green Bay, @ Jacksonville, Dallas, @ Tampa Bay). I love Coach Fox, but I've heard his job might be in jeapordy... but how can you rate a Coach when you've had so much discontinuity at such a key leadership position as QB? There is plenty of blame to go around - and it all stops with the head coach to be sure - but I feel that Mr. Richardson should see this year as a scrub, let the coach know where he stands at the end, and give him one more season. Before I sign off... last night, I couldn't sleep (ever been so tired you hurt all over, and as a result you struggle to get your body to relax enough to go unconsious?) so I'm watching the Colts/Chargers game. Indy had come back from a sixteen point deficit, six interceptions, to be driving with less than two minutes to go. I'm seeing the Colts get to the less-than-one-yard line - finally my eyes are drooping and I decide to go ahead and turn off the TV. I mean why stay up when Payton Manning is driving to the doorstep with less than two minutes to go and they are only trailing my two points. I mean, even if the Chargers line holds, the Colts still have Adam Vinatieri - who is practically automatic. *click* Then, I get my tired old bones up and out of bed at 02:15 so I can get in to work. What is the first thing I see... he missed!?!?! Now, this long winded point is not to poke any kind of fun at Linda and her Colts - how can a man who roots for the Panthers point a finger and laugh? I really am stunned that they did not pull that one out. I didn't say anything about the loss to the Patriots last week - they are a really good team. Still, the Colts are not out of anything yet. I can still see a rematch between the Colts and Patriots - and the next time the outcome can easily be different. Ok, I'm going to wrap this entry up for the day... Verse for today: Mark 14:32-42, ESV And they went to a place called Gethsemane. And he said to his disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” And he took with him Peter and James and John, and began to be greatly distressed and troubled. And he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death. Remain here and watch.” [4] And going a little farther, he fell on the ground and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. And he said, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.” And he came and found them sleeping, and he said to Peter, “Simon, are you asleep? Could you not watch one hour? Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” And again he went away and prayed, saying the same words. And again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were very heavy, and they did not know what to answer him. And he came the third time and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and taking your rest? It is enough; the hour has come. The Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. Rise, let us be going; see, my betrayer is at hand.”

Day 12 of...

...a possible 16 now. :( Being on-call can be a real downer. I will be coming in to work at 3AM on the next four mornings. I am going to work hard on cutting that down to three if possible. To make up for it though I've asked for two days off next week. The good part of this is being able to draw a little bit of shift differential - just in time for Christmas. In other news my little Toyota Echo has been having problems with the 'check engine' light. It keeps coming on... cyclinder mis-fires. I've already put some money into it so I am now searching user forums for DIY tips. Perhaps more to follow on that. My beat up Panthers will take on the struggling Atlanta Falcons this Sunday. Even if they win it will be an uphill battle to win the NFC South. Both the Bucs and Saints have the inside track on that. Coach Fox has done some really good things - but if he gets them into the playoffs this year his contract needs to be extended! I'm pretty beat tired so this is it for today... Verse for today: Matthew 7:21-23, ESV Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ 23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’

Day 11 of 12

I am dragging this morning. Each morning seems to come just a little bit earlier. This daylight savings thing is really wearing on me. The "fall back" thing... isn't it supposed to give us an extra hour of sleep or something!?! - lol Since my body's internal clock is still working off of the old time system it still wants to wake up at it's normal time - but I am in effect going to bed one hour later. And the kids 'internal clocks' are also still set - so they are in effect getting up earlier than they need to... thus dealing with tired cranky kids while trying to get them to do their homework is wearing on the old nerves as well. But it's all good. We are coming into the 'Holiday stretch' where there is practically an extra day off every day of the week until sometime in February (I'm just kidding, but there are a lot of them between now and mid-February) - that, along with the vacation I have to "use or lose" should make up for the rest. :) But back to me being tired. I've been so tired this week that I've taken to drinking one 12oz Mt. Dew in the afternoon. This is really counter productive because, 1) it upsets my stomach a little, 2) the residual affect of the super-caffine they use keeps me up a little later at night, thus making me more tired the next day. It's reminded me of the months after DS2 was born. I was commuting over 100 miles to/from work, plus helping my beloved with DS1 and DS2. I was drinking 2 20oz Mt. Dew's a day! Soda in general is not really good for you, but I think Mt Dew is on a whole other plane. I love the taste (not as much as Dr Pepper, but that's a different story), and I do enjoy the extra energy that I get from it - but I can feel the after affects from it too. Last night I finally caught up on this weeks episode of Heroes. I think I am 'addicted' to this series. I am really getting into this show. I had suspected some of what was going to happen to Hiro, not the 'betrayal' of Kensei - but how the 'travel back' would end up. Also, this 'Adam' - I was all over that. Still, there are so many twists and turns it has really kept my intrest. Claire's dad... man that is a hate-love-dunno-hate kind of deal going on there. And the graphic novels on-line! Very gripping... some really good additional info there. Some of the charecters have "switched sides" (i.e. 'good' or 'evil'), but heroes like Hiro have pretty much remained 'true'. Over all it feels like the charecters are pretty human. There are times when it feels like the writers are hurrying things along - like Kensei's turn from drunkard to "hero" (but then it makes more sense after this last episode), or the relationship between Peter and Caitlin feels rushed. But then, these episodes are not like '24' - they do not 'flow' from hour to hour, but they can jump from day to day, or even weeks. My beloved does not like this series so I don't think it will be on any wish list, but I am really enjoying it so far. I mean, who did not dream of being able to fly, or run really fast, or do some other kind of super-human feat? Verse for today: Luke 13:22-30, ESV He went on his way through towns and villages, teaching and journeying toward Jerusalem. And someone said to him, “Lord, will those who are saved be few?” And he said to them, “Strive to enter through the narrow door. For many, I tell you, will seek to enter and will not be able. When once the master of the house has risen and shut the door, and you begin to stand outside and to knock at the door, saying, ‘Lord, open to us,’ then he will answer you, ‘I do not know where you come from.’ Then you will begin to say, ‘We ate and drank in your presence, and you taught in our streets.’ But he will say, ‘I tell you, I do not know where you come from. Depart from me, all you workers of evil!’ In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth, when you see Abraham and Isaac and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God but you yourselves cast out. And people will come from east and west, and from north and south, and recline at table in the kingdom of God. And behold, some are last who will be first, and some are first who will be last.”

Day 5 of 12

Drill weekends are a pain in my tush. For over twenty years now I have endured this once a month 12 day work weeks. Just after I got married there were times when I went about twenty days without a day off. And now that we are making sure things are set and ready for the fellas to get back there is twice as much to do, with about a third of the men. I know this is short today, but a lot is going on... Verse for today: Proverbs 2:1-8, ESV My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding; he stores up sound wisdom for the upright; he is a shield to those who walk in integrity, guarding the paths of justice and watching over the way of his saints.

Long weekend

I have no idea how it could be Monday already. I mean, it was just a moment ago I was heading home for the weekend. Friday night - I can't even remember what we did... but I do remember getting to bed a little late. Saturday we had a few errands to run before an afternoon Fall party that my beloved was throwing (she is an awesome hostess IMO). Friends stayed WAY late (into Sunday AM). Sunday was a real blur. DD3 has a music thing at 8:30, and then we get the whole gang for 9:45 service. We (my beloved and I) were not slated to serve in the children's ministry, but since my beloved heads that ministry up we ended up serving (well she did) at the 11:00 o'clock service. After that we got DS1's hair cut.. ran to Sam's... then to DS1's last soccer game of the season, and then we split up. I took DD3 to Awana's and she took both sons to the season end soccer thing at Pizza Hut. When we got home around 7:45 last night there was still one more errand to run... as a result none of us got into bed at the time I would have preferred. And now it's Monday, and I am wondering where my weekend went. If anyone finds it, please let me know. :) In other news there were three things that God spoke to me about over the weekend. And they were kind of "whispers". The first one was during the sermon yesterday morning. It had to deal with "do unto others". Not just our friends, or those who are kind to us, those we get along with. But we are to be kind to our enemies too. What would we do for ourselves? Would we be really willing to do that for an enemy? And what about rejoicing when a foe suffers in some way? Do we rejoice? I really wanted to think about this one some more... what does it mean to love myself... and how does that reflect in my dealings with others. I'm mortal so I am going to look at my own house first (my beloved and children). The second thing was do I really expect the best when I pray. Do I expect the God's best in my life? Now, I have to admit that this point was given me through Joel Osteen. I was listening to his broadcast again yesterday as I was getting ready for church. When we come to God are we acting like "Eeyore"? We can come to God with joy and expecting our prayers to be "yes, and Amen" - even if the answer is "No" or "not yet". The greatest gift (Christ dying on the cross) is exactly what enables me as a Christian to have such a joy and expectation. I know Pastor Osteen has been criticozed for not taking a stand about the path of Christianity being the only way to heaven, and for not presenting the gospel in his sermons. He did conclude his broadcast yesterday with (albeit brief) invitation and sinners prayer for those who do not yet believe in Christ. While I do feel he should do more, Pastor Orsteen did present the message in light of the Gospel yesterday. It may not have been as thorough as I personally would have preferred - it was there. The last item, and most likely by far not the least, has to do with the sabbath. God made it a point to include it in His "top ten". It is not a little thing. Thinking through this entire post, and my real life scheduling of things. Do I take a sabbath day? Be it Sunday, Saturday, or any other day? There is a reason God made the sabbath for man. And that was because we are indeed limited. We require sleep, we require rest, we require sustanence. If we do not take that time to rest (let alone time to worship and reflect on the Creator) we will eventually just collapse (wither metally or physically). All of these things God spoke to me... and I really need to take some time - make some time - to reflect on them. Verse for today: 1 Kings 19: 9b-13, ESV And behold, the word of the Lord came to him, and he said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” He said, “I have been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away.” And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. [1] And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

The last weekend for the Fall U-12 soccer season

Wohoo! DS1's final game of the Fall season is this weekend! I know he loves to play, and his coachessay he has a lot of talent (one being a former professional soccer player), but the 2 practices and 2 games a week have been wearing me down some. Especially in light of the "spinning plates" I have going (which I never got to finish). DS1 is already talking about the Spring season so we will then have two in soccer come Spring (DD3 really wants to play too!).

We've also gotten through the time for DS2's Horse riding (therapy for his Aspergers) - which he is really sad about. Although he gives us trouble about going, he always enjoys the time while he's there. So we are now going to enter a somewhat subdued schedule time. But there are always things to take up the slack... to continue the spiunning plates list...

5) I really need to tend to the cracking caulking in our bathrooms. We have a lovely home, but like most new houses (when we bought it) the builder used a pretty cheap grade of caulking (not to mention a whole lot of other things). As a result I need to come along behind him and redo it. I've managed to get started on this, but I really need to finish it.

6) When we first moved into our house - over three years ago - I bought a ceiling fan for our bedroom. I still haven't put it up. Now, though, it will most likely go into the playroom - once I get up in the attic to reinforce the light box to hold it.

It has become almost a comical topic, "have I told you about the fan my husband bought? It's still sitting in a box, in the basement!"

7) Date nights with my beloved. Well, to be honest these are almost non-existant. It's not from a lack of trying - well maybe I'm just not trying hard enough.

8) Maintaing my skill set for my work. This is actually a little low on the priority list, but I do really need to do something to maintain and grow in this area.

Ok - I could really add to this list for quite some time. It all comes down to priorities, and making it work. A) God, B) my beloved, C) my family, D) my work - to include the National Guard.

On a parting note... if you all would pray for my Panthers this weekend. They will really need divine intervention to pull off an upset. I respect Coach Dungy and all, but I am a Panthers fan and I will be rooting them. If the Panthers pull it off I'm sure I'll be grinning from ear to ear for some time.

Verse for today:

Luke 17:5-6, ESV

The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!” And the Lord said, “If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you.

Finding time for things that matter most

Last night, as we were settling in for bed, my beloved comments "I don't like being so busy all the time". *sigh* I have mentioned several times that I feel we are too busy, but then I am 'shown' all the 'neccessary' activities we participate in and I just stop commenting on it. There are times when experience is the best lesson. My main problem is that I don't have a reasonable explination, or idea, of what to do different (other than to stop everything). Right now this is an idea of our schedule: Monday: Gymnastics for DD Tuesday: Soccer practice for DS1 Wednesday: The schedule is free, but usually gets filled in with something Thursday: Soccer for DS1, therapy riding for DS2 Friday: Home group Saturday: Soccer game for DS1 Sunday: Church (which usually includes serving for at least one service in Children's ministry), Soccer game for DS1, Awana's This outline does not include music (additional therapy) lessons for DS2 which I can't remember which night that is on - or church council meetings for my beloved (Children's Ministry), or date nights (which are all too infrequent), running to the store for whatever, etc. I mean our evenings are so crowded with stuff, and we are so tired from running around all we want to do when the kids are in bed is crash ourselves - that is if we aren't folding laundry. I mean in order for my beloved and I to have any alone time I had to run home in the middle of the day to "bring her lunch". I have seen a lot of sermons, and other Christians, talk about how we make our lives too busy. How we crowd out so many other things. But I think it's more a sign of changes within our society. Have you ever seen the list of how anyone over the age of 35 is "lucky to be alive" - I need to find it and post it... it's pretty funny, but it's also a sad commentary of where things are (IMO). I can't really compare my childhood to what was the 'norm' for a middle class family growing up, because I didn't grow up middle class. But in many respects - things like being out playing till dinner (or dark in my case), and then going back out again till bedtime - wandering all over the neighborhood or even town. Those days are gone for the most part. People do not feel comfortable allowing their children to roam. I don't know how many times I've told my kids that they could not play down the block simply because I was not able to keep an eye on them. Is this because we are actually less safe as a society? Or are we more aware of the dangers? The truth probably lies somewhere with both of these statements. So we as parents feel guilty for keeping the kids couped up all day. We want them to get out, to run and play, to socialize with their peers. So, to ease our minds we get them "involved". And in the meantime we run ourselves ragged trying to keep up. In my case some of those things are necessary. My beloved and I really want DS2 to grow up strong and independant. But in order to give him that chance we need to make sure he gets certain 'training' (or therapy) that we are not able to provide. Meanwhile Ds1 and DD see DS2 out doing things... and do we just say 'no' to them all the time? Loving each one, and showing each one, how special and important they are... well, it's hard. I just don't want to get to the other side of parenthood (having kids at home) and regret not showing the kids how much I really love and appreciate each of them. Verse for today: Psalm 139:1-6, ESV O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.

Busy

Today has been pretty crazy! This Spring is going to be pretty busy. I will be visiting my brother and his wife for an evening in Fayetteville NC, then making a trip out to the Eastern Shore of Maryland (maybe), and a trip out to Ohio. I am SOoo glad that I am getting a return from my Federal tax return. Well, have to run again... God bless... and sing unto the Lord with a joyful heart! \o/