20070928

Finding time for things that matter most

Last night, as we were settling in for bed, my beloved comments "I don't like being so busy all the time". *sigh* I have mentioned several times that I feel we are too busy, but then I am 'shown' all the 'neccessary' activities we participate in and I just stop commenting on it. There are times when experience is the best lesson. My main problem is that I don't have a reasonable explination, or idea, of what to do different (other than to stop everything). Right now this is an idea of our schedule: Monday: Gymnastics for DD Tuesday: Soccer practice for DS1 Wednesday: The schedule is free, but usually gets filled in with something Thursday: Soccer for DS1, therapy riding for DS2 Friday: Home group Saturday: Soccer game for DS1 Sunday: Church (which usually includes serving for at least one service in Children's ministry), Soccer game for DS1, Awana's This outline does not include music (additional therapy) lessons for DS2 which I can't remember which night that is on - or church council meetings for my beloved (Children's Ministry), or date nights (which are all too infrequent), running to the store for whatever, etc. I mean our evenings are so crowded with stuff, and we are so tired from running around all we want to do when the kids are in bed is crash ourselves - that is if we aren't folding laundry. I mean in order for my beloved and I to have any alone time I had to run home in the middle of the day to "bring her lunch". I have seen a lot of sermons, and other Christians, talk about how we make our lives too busy. How we crowd out so many other things. But I think it's more a sign of changes within our society. Have you ever seen the list of how anyone over the age of 35 is "lucky to be alive" - I need to find it and post it... it's pretty funny, but it's also a sad commentary of where things are (IMO). I can't really compare my childhood to what was the 'norm' for a middle class family growing up, because I didn't grow up middle class. But in many respects - things like being out playing till dinner (or dark in my case), and then going back out again till bedtime - wandering all over the neighborhood or even town. Those days are gone for the most part. People do not feel comfortable allowing their children to roam. I don't know how many times I've told my kids that they could not play down the block simply because I was not able to keep an eye on them. Is this because we are actually less safe as a society? Or are we more aware of the dangers? The truth probably lies somewhere with both of these statements. So we as parents feel guilty for keeping the kids couped up all day. We want them to get out, to run and play, to socialize with their peers. So, to ease our minds we get them "involved". And in the meantime we run ourselves ragged trying to keep up. In my case some of those things are necessary. My beloved and I really want DS2 to grow up strong and independant. But in order to give him that chance we need to make sure he gets certain 'training' (or therapy) that we are not able to provide. Meanwhile Ds1 and DD see DS2 out doing things... and do we just say 'no' to them all the time? Loving each one, and showing each one, how special and important they are... well, it's hard. I just don't want to get to the other side of parenthood (having kids at home) and regret not showing the kids how much I really love and appreciate each of them. Verse for today: Psalm 139:1-6, ESV O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.

2 comments:

Susan said...

Oh it's SO EASY to get to this point where you are running like crazy. And because of the extra needs of your DS, it's even magnified from most other families with kids the same ages.

You know I think that we need to be careful NOT to be so "busy" doing church---the meetings and such.

I also think we go through seasons in our lives when WE are driving kids all over to "give" them experiences and activities. Then suddenly they are able to take themselves around and it DOES get easier.

Finally, I might make the suggestion that you try and offset the activities for the two other kids. For example, if it's soccer season for one, then DD is "off" and then she can do the gymnastics when soccer season is over. I know that's not always possible, but if you check around it might be.

Wishing you all the best as you continue to juggle it all.

:-) Susan

Alise said...

The whole idea of slowing down is a tough one, especially in this life! I think Susan gives some great idea. I know it's a constant struggle for us, and our lives are pretty darn simple.

You may want to check out this blog for more thoughts on slowing down. I know I've gotten some inspiration from him! http://www.chanchanchepon.blogspot.com/