Look, i know it's Thursday, and this was "due" on Monday... but hey, no blog before it's time.

Hello and welcome to my rambling Music Monday and miscelanities.  I usually have a Microfiction Monday contribution on Monday's, but i dropped the ball on that one.  I also want to get back on the horse with regular Music Monday postings... so, that will be posted below.  But, with my wanting to get something, anything, posted again... i am of course throwing several offerings in all at once.  I am told that these kinds of posts are enjoyable... i will take the word of those who have left comments and feedback as... i don't see how, but... OK. 

Oh, and since i will probably not post this until Thursday i should probably mention that "The Way of Walking with Christ" blog series has completed with last weeks post.  I have placed a link to a single post with all entries on my "Blog entries with a samurai theme" list to the right. Or you can just click on the link i cleverly inserted here with the title. 

This past Sunday i went over to my friend MOUSE's house (lol, pun not intended) for the Super Bowl.  He is a huge Pittsburgh Steelers fan.  It was nice to be invited out, and while his Steelers didn't win the big game, he put on quite a spread. Not only is he a football fan, and fond of tailgating... he is a Chef to boot.  Win-Win for team samurai Sunday night.  8)  One good thing for the Panthers right now... they are now officially undefeated once more, and they are #1!  #1 on draft day that is.  Let's see how the labor negotiations go between the owners and the players.  The more i think about it... the more i am on the player's side when it comes to the number of games played in a season.  Personally, i think 18 games are too many.  Player's bodies have a hard enough time making it through a 16 game schedule now, and the "concession" to add two (or is it three) more roster slots... not enough.  I feel that a minimum of five additional roster spots would be needed to help teams get through all of the inevitable injuries that would arise.  I like the idea of the rookie salary caps.  I like the idea of more money being set aside for players in the older ages to help with head injuries and other lingering issues.  Now, i understand that there are only so many M&M's in the jar out there, and how they all get divided up is pretty tricky, but... i am leaning towards agreeing with a lot of the players issues.  Still, it is hard to feel sorry for millionaires who get to play a game for a living - even if it is only for a few years (most likely), all the while the bulk of the fans - the ones who turn on the TV's. who pay the hard earned money to make it to the games, buy the products such as jerseys and hats, who are hurting to make ends meet.  Just because there are some who can dish out hundred's of dollars on a Sunday to see their favorite team play does not mean that we all can.  Well, anyway... the Panthers are undefeated once more, and they are #1!  Go Panthers!

Anyone who frequents this blog knows i am a fanboy of C.J. Mahaney, so it would only be natural for me to follow his blog.  Now, he is not the only contributor to the blog, but he does indeed contribute from time to time... ok... getting off track here... anyway, last Friday's blog was something i had pondered from time to time, but never really sunk my teeth into it.  It was titled "When Humility is Pride", and for some reason the title both caught me off guard, and glad to see as i know CJ has been accused of being artificially modest, that his humbleness is an act.  Now, one thing i know from having lived with my mother long enough, anyone can faux whatever they want, and they might be able to fool not just themselves, but others too.  The only impartial judge of the heart is God, but if you can be honest with yourself enough... it is good to perform self evaluations.  Anyway, this blog post really had me chewing and thinking and i thought it would be good to share.  Oh, and this is being added late, but... CJ has also been doing a great series on Criticism.  This is an area i REALLY struggle in, and i am not in any sort of public ministry (well, other than this blog... if it can be considered a ministry). Anyway, i know that for me i can be very prideful, and when everyone does not agree with me, or think that i am doing things in the most proficient manner... i tend to take exception and want to react before i really listen and evaluate.  I highly recommend this series as well.

Since last summer i have really been struggling to "pick up the pen" and get back to writing.  TULIP has told me that she believes this is one manifestation of my depression (among other things of course). I am inclined to agree.  When i am down i really don't feel like creating anything.  I end up just trying to keep my head above water.  When i finally start to claw my way out of it, and i get my fingers going once more... i do find an enjoyment of creating a story.  Well, i have been writing again... and that is a good thing.  I have a few chapters that needed to get posted over on my short story blog, Samurai's Yarns.  While i am being encouraged to "just keep writing" and "go back and edit later", i am not willing to post them until i have a chance to review and edit at least once before posting.  I am about 3,700 words into the next phase of the tale, with a rough estimate of another similar amount to go before this chapter is a wrap.  I also have inklings on the next phase too... i've just not fleshed them out any yet.

OK, finally this was supposed to be my "Music Monday offering this week.

Rain Song

by Day of Fire

Bring rivers in this wasteland

Clouds into this sky

Bring springs of life into the wells that have been run dry

Rise up in this city

Gather in this light

Fall down on your people

Your glory and your life

Rain

Lord we thirst for water

Rain

We are desert Land

Rain

On your sons and daughters

Rain

Bring your rain again

Speak dreams into this water

And vision to this land

That oceans be divided

And bring forth life again

Rise up in this city

Gather in this light

Fall down on your people

Your glory and your life

CHORUS x 2

Let the tide roll in

Washing over our lives

Let your water fall again

Bring rivers in this wasteland

Clouds into the sky

CHORUS x 2

Bring your rain again

Let your water fall down

Bring your rain again now

(repeat)

This song was speaking to me this week.  In the book of John we find the account of Jesus' interaction with the Samaritan woman:

A woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” (For his disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?” (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” The woman said to him, “Sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob? He gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did his sons and his livestock.” Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. [2] The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water.” (John 4:7-15, ESV)

I have always related to the imagery rain and being "thirsty" for God.  When we feel distant from God, and even before we confess Christ as our Lord, the deep desire of the need for that relationship... the need of a Savior, the need of fellowship with God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, can most be thought of... akin to if you will, a thirst.  Not just a my-mouth-is-dry thirst, but a thorough sense of relief-from-dehydration-as-every-cell-in-my-body-is-rehydrated kind of thirst.  Anyway... there are times in my walk where... i feel so very, very thirsty for the things of God, and when one gets a taste... it satiates like nothing else can.  Well, with my struggles with depression it feels like a vast Mohave Dessert kind of need.  The imagery of this song to me is off a rain storm in a dessert... of God's Spirit raining down and filling not just me, but others around (and through?) me.  There is a reason scientists look for water on other planets... without it (as far as we understand the universe presently) life is not possible.  The same is true for my walk with Christ... i NEED his Spirit to rain, and to reign.  Especially as i try and navigate this valley known as depression.

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Music Monday - and other ramblings - 20110117

For most of my Christian life (i am only a 21 year old Christian, hehehe) i have interacted with a lot of evangelists.  I am inspired and humbled by these men and women.  They take it upon their heart to carry the gospel to wherever the Lord leads them.  I am inspired because of how driven most of them are.  They have a passion to spread the Word of Christ, and that is an awesome thing.  I am humbled because, while i love the Lord with all my heart, i just do not have that drive to be out there.  Where i do seem to have a passion though is in support of those who are out there.  To serve these people, to lift them up in prayer, to try and provide in some way financially, etc.  In the military, at least in the Army, it takes seven people in the "rear" to support one soldier on the front line.  While i served in Army (both on active duty and in the National Guard) i was proud of the fact i was a "combat arms" soldier.  I would digress if i went into the why i enjoyed being the "tip of the spear", but i was also aware of the need for those seven other men and women "behind" me.  The soldier patrolling cannot safely complete his mission unless he has adequate supplies of ammunition and food.  If he cannot safely get to and from his area of operations.  Communication gear is crucial.  Now, the ratio may not be the same in regards to evangelism, but nevertheless, support people are just as crucial in the on going ministries of the church, but locally and internationally.  Just like actors get all the attention when it comes to being on the screen, and soldiers are looked up to when the are shown "meeting the enemy", etc. they cannot do what they do without the people who are unseen.  Even if God is not calling you to be out front there is a just-as-vital-mission for you to be a part of.  Maybe it is in prayer, maybe it is in going out to collect materials for them to take out with them.  What i am trying to say is that your gift may be just as important as theirs.  Get involved!

It has been many a week since i last placed finger to keyboard and put up a blog post on a meme that i started without prompting (that is to say it is not unique, but that i had started my thread without knowing about the others yet) - Music Monday. I know of only one other who does this as a result of this blog, and that would be Alise.  She on the other hand, has been VERY faithful in putting up her offerings.  She also does a GREAT job of expounding upon WHY she has chossen a particular song for the week.  I highly encourage you to visit "Big Mama's Blog" to see what i mean.

For a few weeks now i have been hearing a new song from Third Day titled "Lift Up Your Face".  Typical when you hear the word 'salvation' the imagery is usually of someone coming to Christ for the first time.  But the past few months have been pretty... severe for lack of a better word coming to mind.  For me this song was an affirmation to my heart that nothing of this world is forever, and my Lord will one day bring me home and i will be delivered.  The dichotomy of bring saved in the now, and not yet.

Lift Up Your Face

Third Day - from their MOVE album

Lift up your face
Lift up your face
Salvation is calling
Salvation is calling (your name)

You have fallen so far now
You don’t even know how
You are going to survive
But just over the horizon
A new light is shining
Breaking through the darkest night
Love is coming and it’s calling out your name

You feel like your life is fading
You’re tired of waiting
For your moment to arrive
But tomorrow will bring
A song that you can sing
And your hope is gonna rise
Love is coming and it’s calling out your name

Do you hear him calling
Can you hear him calling
He’s calling out your name
He’s calling our your name

Just over the horizon
A new light is shining
Salvation is on its way

I will wrap up this posting with an observation.  I am either not eating as much, or restaurant portions have gotten WAY bigger.  It has been a long time since i have been able to go out to eat, order an appetizer a main course (or entree) AND a dessert... and lately it can only be one of the three.  Recently we took LONG SHANKS out to eat for his birthday.  This time my beloved and i got smart, we ordered only one entree and split it.  With the family sharing the appetizer, me splitting the meal with my beloved, i actually ordered a dessert.  Why was i pushing my luck you ask?  Because someone has come up with dessert-shooters!  That's right, mini desserts served in what resemble shot glasses.  Small, less expensive than the full size counter parts, and just enough to cleanse the pallet. It is probably a win fall for the restaurants as well because i know the profit margin (labor aside) has got to be much larger for these little delectable treats.  Perfect end to the meal.  I was full, but not uncomfortably so.  Since we are not old enough to qualify for the senior citizen discounts and portion sizes yet, i am pretty sure the Mrs. and i will be splitting our meals a lot more often... and it has nothing to do with the saving money part.

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Getting back on the bicycle

Because no one i know (well) actually rides a horse... and well, i know i don't so... the title seemed more appropriate this way.

I know my posting of late has been somewhat lackadaisical, and i am not real happy with that.  So many good Microfiction Monday sources, a few Haiku poems (some of which i have shared), new story line ideas, thoughts on the Carolina Kitte... i mean Panthers, real world happenings, MouseHunt/Blood Bowl/ etc. So, instead of trying to catch everything up all at once... i will just ramble (yea, different, i know ) and work through them as them come back to mind.

Where to begin... i have mentioned this before but i will do so again... if for nothing else to help myself work through it.  I have really been struggling with depression lately.  I have never been able to "get it".  Meaning, i am not able to understand how or why people get depressed.  I am even more confused as to why i am getting depressed.  I am not taking any sort of superiority train of thought here.  On many levels depression is a selfish thing.  The mind gets locked on to me/myself/I.  All of the things that are not right in my life.  Why am I not able to _____?  Etc. The thoughts get turned inward and not outward.  Even when thinking about others, more often than not (at least in my experience) it is how whatever is going on with the other person and how it affects me. The causes can be multifaceted.  Some may be poor mental choices.  The things one dwells on.  In others it is a side affect of medication or injury.  Some can be chemical, that is imbalances within the construct of the body's systems.  All of them are treatable, and none of them should be ignored.  To tell oneself to just "shake it off", or to advise someone who is experiencing it to just "get over it" is unhelpful at best, and devastating at its worst.  Depression is something that is like a whirlpool.  The process slow and almost imperceptible in the beginning, but as it progresses it picks up speed and gets tighter and tighter as it pulls you down.  The longer one does nothing about the predicament the harder it takes hold and the harder it is to escape... especially without outside assistance.  I am not entirely sure how long i struggled with it before i finally sought some help.  One person says that they noticed a "cyclical" pattern as long as two years ago.  For me the "trigger" that pushed it over the edge of manageability was when my beloved went back to work.  I grew up, for the most part, with a single mother who was rarely at home.  This left me and my brother alone to pretty much fend for ourselves.  As a young man i steeled myself to the task.  It was what it was.  I did the best i could to do the chores around the house, feed me and my brother (and he pitched in some too, it was not all me), i remember learning to do laundry and make mac & cheese.  But when my beloved went to work and she was not always home i began to have an overwhelming sense of abandonment. I felt like i was losing her and there was nothing i could do about it.  The fact was, there was nothing my beloved was doing intentionally to make me feel this way.  As a matter of fact, she bent over backwards to assure me, to comfort me, to let me know that she was indeed my beloved.  For her, this job was in many ways a "life saver" for her too.  It has renewed her sense of purpose now that our three darlings are older.  It has been one of the better things to come along for her.  What was hard was i know all this... and yet i could not change the way my own body reacted.  I would pray (and still do), and i would "preach" to myself these facts, but i just couldn't shake the bodily reactions and mental thought pathways.  I knew i was not thinking clearly, and my attempts to talk with my beloved were causing her distress.  One of our long time friends, who is also a friend of ours, also reached out to me... but for a variety of reasons i did not feel that was a good idea.  I finally reached out to a Christian man whom i respected, and who was also a licensed therapist.  While he felt it better to not counsel me himself, he did get me with another man of God who was very helpful.  For me, my dose of Strattera not only has helped me with my ADD, but it has helped with my rounds of depression.  I can tell i am still struggling with the "cycles" now and again, but just like me working out my own sanctification day by day, i am working to stay "on top of" my own depression - day-by-day.  If you, or someone you know, struggles with depression and implore you to seek help.  Do NOT try and go it alone.  Seek God in all that you do, but also allow Him to work through others in your life.

Going on about ten months ago i began to feel a persistent ache in my right shoulder.  I've had a "clicking" and "twinge"in both shoulders for a long, long time, but it was never pervasive enough for me to worry about it.  At first it was a distraction during the day... an annoyance.  Then it started causing me to lose sleep.  Finally i went to an orthopedist.  He followed the insurance steps and we did the X-rays, and then an MRI where he found a "small" tear in a place that was hard to get an exact picture of the extent (i thought MRI's could get all that...).  He then sent me for 6 weeks of physical therapy.  For a variety of reasons, i waited until November (almost seven months) before i started it.  I am now 5 weeks into it, with only my last session (the therapist's evaluation) and then then consult back with the Orthopedist... is it good when my shoulders still ache, and the therapist grimaces while i am performing my exercises?  I know the workouts - both at the office and the ones i do at home - have been giving me headaches, and causing knots in my shoulders and lower neck region.  I am getting nervous.  Everything i hear about the surgery of getting this fixed sound really painful and involved.  But... if it takes away the constant ache... i will go through it.

One good side affect of me getting some help with my depression is the renewed interest to pick up the "pen" again to write again.  The next chapter is going to be rewritten from my original script, but... i am just glad to be wanting to write again.

Ok, well, i have rambled on for enough today... i will pick this up some more soon.

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I can't believe i am doing this...

I know i am several hours too late, and i also know how much i REALLY like Facebook, but a good friend of mine brought this cause to my attention.  It is called "Glabal Communications Shutdown for Autism".  It is a call to ask people to not use Facebook or Twitter for a whole day on November 1st to raise awareness, and hopefully money for research etc., for Autism Worldwide.  I can't believe i jumped and logged off of Facebook so fast... i can already feel the withdrawal symptoms...   Let's face it, i could use a little time away from Facebook anyway.   I added the HTML widget there to the left.  No, a little higher, just above my profile stuff.  If you click on the image it will take you to a Global fund raiser page.  Do with that what you will good reader.

OK, now on to my regularly (un)scheduled programing.  Yesterday was Reformation Day, although it is more commonly referred to as Halloween.  Reformation Day is not an attempt to protest all things Halloween, it is a day remembered as the day Martin Luther began what is known as the Protestant/Reformation movement.  I am not talking strictly about the denomination here.  I have several friends who are Catholic, and i am not celebrating this day as an "anti-Catholic" remembrance.  But for me, a Protestant (meaning i am a non-Catholic Christian), it is a day to celebrate.  Protestants do not have "it all right" either, so. 

Speaking of Halloween, an excellent article in regards to Christians and the "holiday" can be found on the Grace to You website.  It is titled Christians and Halloween. It touches on the Pagan origins of the day, as well as how the church 'adopted' it to try and counter the influences.  For me, the closing paragraph does an excellent job of summing up:

Ultimately, Christian participation in Halloween is a matter of conscience before God. Whatever level of Halloween participation you choose, you must honor God by keeping yourself separate from the world and by showing mercy to those who are perishing. Halloween provides the Christian with the opportunity to accomplish both of those things in the gospel of Jesus Christ. It's a message that is holy, set apart from the world; it's a message that is the very mercy of a forgiving God. What better time of the year is there to share such a message than Halloween?

Just because the Carolina Panthers are sucking dirt right now, and in serious contention for the #1 overall pick in April of 2011, does not mean i won't mention them in my blog any more.   It may mean that i do not have a whole lot to say though.  I do admire Steve Smith's stepping up and admitting he played poorly.  I admire a stand up man, and Steve Smith is that and more.  #89 and #4 are placed right up there with #51 (Sam Mills) in regards to the Hall of Honor for the Panthers, in my opinion.  While the Panthers may occupy the cellar of the National Football League, they are my team and i will remain a faithful fanatical.  Go Panthers!

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Random Dozen Wednesday - 20100908

Today is a day where i can be lazy in my blogging... a trend of late i think. Linda over at 2nd Cup of Coffee hosts this fun meme.  You should surf on over and check her blog out! It has been a fun way for bloggers such as myself to find other blogs of interest.

1. Describe the best sandwich in the world, according to you.

Like most things in my life, that really depends upon the mood i am in.  I have been known to enjoy a delicious pulled pork sandwich with a dab of coleslaw on top.  Recently i tried out Subway's Cuban Pulled Pork Sand which - YUMMY!  I have also been known to enjoy Dagwood styled sandwich from time to time... although i prefer yellow mustard to mayonnaise most of the time.  Then there are times when a PB&J hit s the spot, or even just a Peanut Butter sandwich on toasted rye!

2. Which inspires you more: a good conversation, a song, a book or movie?

For me songs do it best.  There is something that is moved more easily by song than the written word or a movie which take longer to get to their points, and conversations tend to bore me.  Too many nuances i don't get, too many lines to try and read in between.  But a song, even those without lyrics stir my soul.

3. What is your favorite board game?

Board games are too confining to me. You have to follow the path, you have to move your token here or there.  Well, most board games are like that.  RISK and AXIS & ALLIES are a little different.  But, if i have to pick one... i think i would choose SQUAD LEADER ~ a squad level (duh) World War II tactical board game that is incredibly detailed.  LOVED that game.

4. As you grow older, are you more or less patient with small children?

Not so much the children as their parents.  Young children are incredibly pliable.  They learn and soak things up, including courtesy and manners.  I will have a lot more patience with children, and explain things than i am with their parents.  If a child is misbehaving i will think less of the parent before i think less of the child.  Having said that, and having one of my own, i have also found myself looking for signs of autism, etc.  Some times no matter how hard the parents work, their child just acts out ~ but that does not lessen the responsibility of the parent to guide and instruct their child... it just makes it harder.

5. Name one item you never let yourself run out of.

Dr Pepper, duh!  Seriously, was there something else you were thinking i might say?  Really?

6. Do you agree with Tennyson's assertion, "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?"

I am aware of the common consensus that it is, but i disagree.  For me personally, i would rather not have tasted it at all, than to have tasted it and then have it ripped away.  The pain is unbearable and i don't really get it.  It takes a lot for me to get to that point though. 

7. Name one national treasure or monument that you have visited.

I remember visiting the Washington Monument once.  The line was long, the visit too brief, and the window too small.  But i was a child when i visited it so my sense of appreciation was not there.  My aversion to crowded places makes me appreciate things like the National Zoo during a weekday a whole lot more.  

8. Which is more painful, to be disappointed in someone else or to be disappointed in yourself?

Depends on the person, but usually i am more disappointed in myself.  Not because i am better then anyone else, but because i can 'control' my actions.  I may influence others, but i do not control them, so if they disappoint me it is somewhat expected.  It probably has something with keeping people at a distance thing.

9. What makes your kitchen uniquely yours?

 Um... the fact we keep the ice tea maker out all the time?  I dunno.  We do drink a LOT of Ice Tea as a family though.

10. Are you a crafty person?

Crafty... as in how?  Nick knacks?  No, not so much.  I don't even like doing children's crafts.  Crafty as in being skilled in deception?  No.  I have never once been able to surprise my beloved with anything.  Even when she was 'surprised', she suspected something.  OK... maybe a little bit, but... no... not so much.

11. What is your favorite traditional picnic or BBQ (cookout) food?

Hmm... this is a tough one.  I would have to say that RAM's wife makes these chicken shishkabobs that are just incredible.  Chicken, pineapple, bell peppers, tomatoes... YUMMY!

12. Name one leisurely activity you enjoyed over Labor Day Weekend.

It was a little too crazy for me this year.  I tend to be too reactive so that my family is getting to do what they want to do.  I did enjoy deep cleaning the "play room" this weekend though.

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Monday Muddy ramblings

I have been trying fairly hard to come up with songs further and further in advance for my Monday blog entries, but the past seven days have been a whirlwind for me, and i am writing this in a somewhat fuzzy state of mind so it may be even less coherent than usual.

First, i do not have a song for this week. 8(  Alise is so much more faithful than i when it comes to this weekly offering.  I apologize dear readers.  I love music so much, but it is often hard for me to narrow it down to just one song, especially a song that i have not (preferably) used before.  And then, when i wait until the last minute, i often run out of time.

Last week i made a new "friend" on Facebook.  It is a woman who is a fellow MouseHunt player, but she also has a daughter who deals with Autism.  Granted she has been placed in a restricted group of my friends, but through her i found a new blog of her struggles with Autism (she lives in the UK), and as a result a whole new set of "link branches" to click and read.  Soon my mind began to swim.  Not that i do not feel for these parents, or care about what they are going through, but i began to feel overwhelmed in regards to my own struggles with my son.  Still, it was nice to meet someone with similar interests and struggles.  In a way... it was nice to see we are not alone in our struggles.  I would have to read some more, but i think the parents in the UK have it harder, or maybe it's just how good the support is we have where i live.

I want to develop my own little blog award.  Is that egotistical?  I do not come across a lot of blogs that i admire in regards to spiritual matters, and i am not trying to say that because i admire it, it is right or wrong.  I just want to have a way that i respect it, and perhaps have a way of creating links to such blogs to personally recognize them.  I mean... i am not anyone famous... my blog does not really have all that many followers... please feel free to post a comment and share your thoughts...

I was poised to get going on my writing last week when i had a minor revelation... i am hesitating because i really am not sure how to think, and write, from an alien perspective. As i have done "research" i have found someone i would consider an "Authority" on all things (Warhammer 40k) Eldar ~ Gav Thorpe.  I recently sent him an e-mail to ask a few questions in regards about how Eldar think, etc. and he took the time to answer!  His answers made me re-examine a few character traits, or at least how i might try and write them.  And not only his answers, but the brief excerpt from his book.His first Eldar novel, The Path of the Warrior, was just released and Amazon.com has notified me that it is on its way to me!.  I am really looking forward to reading his book, and over the course of time i have learned that this is just the first of three!  Yippie!  The Path of the Seer, and The Path of the Outcast are the next two.  While i am eager for the last title the most... i will have to wait the longest... but i think it will be worth it.  I have another "chapter" to release on my short story blog... but i think i should proof it at least one more time.

I will close this week and say that i have learned that no matter how "noble" my intentions are, my execution of such are not always at an optimum level.  For many reasons, many of which i do not fully comprehend (and that is OK), COWGIRL and her children have moved out.  She was offered a whole house to stay at rent free (just utilities), and that is an awesome opportunity for her and her family.  A ton more space and a chance to just be alone as a family - which is really important during this time.  Please continue to pray for her as she continues to seek out treatment for stage IV colon cancer.  The path ahead is still uncertain, and is filled with many a rock, but she has a really good fighting spirit and is really taking charge in making sure she gives herself every chance to fight this disease.  Changing her diet, seeking the elders to pray over her, and anything else she can think of.  I will try and keep people updated in the weeks and months ahead.  If you know me IRL and want a better means to keep up, please let me know.

Random Dozen Wednesday

1. Would you rather host party or simply attend a party? ~ I am not really partial to crowds of more than say, 5 - that includes myself and my Beloved.  So, having to choose between these two... i would much rather attend.  That way i can find a less crowded corner or room to kind of disappear to.  However, God has a sense of humor because my Beloved is an awesome hostess.  She bakes and invites people over to relax.  And if you are inviting one couple over might as well invite five, and their children.  Although it is "uncomfortable", God has never allowed me to get complacent or comfortable. 8)

2. Tell us about the most memorable party you've been to. ~ The one that is most memorable one to me is the first one i was ever invited to.  My brother and i had been invited to BARD's house.  The age group was pretty diverse for such a party.  College students, High School Students, and others.  I remember because it was the first time i realized that i was not comfortable in a large crowd, and i learned that my brother could speak Orcish. 8)  I had to walk all the way back home to tell my mom that he was puking his guts out.  It just wasn't my scene.  Although BARD and i have been reacquainted through muFacebook and other means.  He is a fellow believer and a really good musician.  It's a shame we live about 100 miles apart though.

3. What is one thing you hope for in the after-life? ~ Wow... that is a tough one.  To be honest, i would be glad to just be cleaning the streets with my shirt tail.  I truly hope to be able to learn how to play a musical instrument so that i may play in the workshop to God that way.

4. What do you enjoy most about sunshine? ~ I enjoy the penetrating warmth that can be felt after a long cold/wet night.  When those first rays of sunshine hits your body you can almost literally feel the warmth soak into your skin.

5. When you attend a bridal/baby shower, do you prefer to bring your own gift or chip in with others to buy a larger gift? ~ 8| ... um.... i like chipping in.  I never really know what to get, and this way i feel like i have contributed in a meaningful way.  Even though it is not directly personal to me.

6. Would you rather have a FREE week of having your house cleaned or all of your meals cooked for you and your family? ~ I am leaning towards having the house cleaned.  I grew up scraping by with whatever could be scrounged to eat, and i am still that way today.  Don't get me wrong.  I enjoy a well cooked meal, and my Beloved makes sure i never go hungry.  But i think to best balance our gifts and season of life... a week of free house cleaning would be a real blessing.

7. What song describes your mood today? ~ He is Our King - by the David Crowder Band has been playing over and over in my mind today.

8. What is something you received for your own bridal shower/wedding that you still own or use? (If you are not married, feel free to sub a gift you received a long time ago.) ~ I cannot honestly remember any gift from my wedding day that we still use.  My Beloved might be able to, but i cannot.  However, my most treasured gift from my wedding day will be my bride and the ring she slipped on my finger.  It is scratched, it has been resized, it has a gauge from my military days, but she is mine and i am hers.

9. Your favorite flavor of ice cream is? ~ .Vanilla, all other "flavors" are merely variations of the original. 8)

10. When was the last time you felt "tested?" ~ Other than today?  There are "tests" everyday.  The only question is how one is going to respond to the situations you find yourself.  Tests of temptation, tests of persecution, tests of failures, test of prosperity.  But in the end what does it matter what you find yourself in the middle of, but how you react to it.

11. "[Fill in the blank] is a food that once I start eating I find really hard to stop." ~ My Beloved makes a Chicken and Rice Casserole that i can eat until i get sick to my stomach.  I have the same problem with her Pumpkin Pie too.

12. "-----" is the best motivation. ~ For me?  Responsibility.  If i don't care about something than i am not going to commit to competing/caring-about it.  But knowing that others are counting on me is a pretty good motivator for me.

Ramblin Friday

This week has been absolutely insane in my real world life.  I barely got my Music Monday entry in, and Wednesday MEME is easier than coming up with all of it on my own.  I haven't had the time to add to my short stories this week either.  Fortunetly it gives me a whole lot to ramble about.

As i mentioned on Monday, my Beloved and i will be welcoming in a single mother (COWGIRL) and her two children (boy 13, girl 8).  COWGIRL has recently been diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer and she lives out West in a somewhat remote location.  Medical facilities are not stellar and there was limited access to top of the line Oncology resources. My Beloved and i reached out to her to offer our guestroom, etc. for her to come out here so that she can have access to Johns Hopkins and any other Oncology resources she might need.  They will be arriving tomorrow and her appointments begin in ernest next week.  Several friends have complimented my Beloved and i on taking this family in.  To be honest i am really confused as to how to respond to such praise.  It feels like this is what we should be doing, not that we are doing anything extraordinary.  God has blessed us with a home with a guestroom, and in close proximity to such resources.  She is also a close and dear friend, as opposed to a stranger.  I think i am embaressed by the praise... like it is putting the attention on me (and my family) instead of on her and her family.  And they are the ones who need the attention and support....  Not that people telling us "good job" is a bad thing... so when i try and divert the attention, and praise to God, i feel... what is the word... pious.  Like i am coming across "Holier than thou" type of deal... and, that is really not how i feel or want to convey... it's like how i feel about hugs... i guess i just need to accept them, say thank you, and move on.  In all things, to God be the glory, and i thank you all for your encouragement and support as well.

Music Monday has touched the "Big Time".  Big Mama has been granted and interview with Michael Gunger, and she is participating in a promo to give away a CD!  Click HERE to read the interview and enter in the contest.  Check it out! While i may have started this variation of a theme, Big Mama has really been a faithful participant and she draws from a much wider pool of life experiences in music.  Thank you Alise, and way to go!

With Tron Legacy coming out in December, and the possibility of actually being in Disney within a month of the release date, i am already feeling exceptionally geeky.  But, i have alse recently heard that Max Headroom is coming out on DVD for an official release on 10-August!  It is already sitting in my Amazon.com Cart, being saved for later.  I know all 100 of us here in the United States who loved this show, are pretty excited!  In my opinion Max Headroom was a major reason the Cyber Punk genre expanded as much as it did.

Speaking of DVD's, The Book of Eli is coming out on Blueray and DVD 15-June.  I really enjoyed this movie, but i have to be honest.  I will probably not buy this as soon as it hits the shelves.  Why?  Because I do not feel $25 is a good price for a DVD that does not have a whole lot of special features.  most of them are on the Blueray version - just another marketing ploy to get us to all upgrade to the newest technology.  And it does work, i can't blame it all on the manufacturers.  If we consumers would just unite some and get them to stop changing the market, etc.  Before the mid-twentieth century a lot of things stayed the same for a very long time.  If you bought the latest and greatest widget, it was most likely going to be good for as long as the widget lasted, or you no longer needed it.  Now, tech runs in 2 year cycles!  Even the IRS devalues company assets on IT faster than anything else!  If you buy a top of the line TV today, within 3 to 6 months you could have saved at least 25% on what you paid, two years your TV is "antiquated".  I am all for a free market economy, but i am seeing how and why my own father seemed so old fashioned when i was a kid.

Speaking of movies,  i have been itching to go watch Iron Man 2 with my friend RAM and DS1.  Life just keeps "getting in the way".  Meaning there are just higher priorities to heading out and seeing the latest film.  Now with COWGIRL coming in and all, maybe i can get all of us and the boys out to see it next week.  Another friend, PETRA, wants to come along as well.  I am starting to think i might be able to finagle a group discount or something. If we don't get out to see it soon, i may have to wait to see Robin Hood when it comes out on DVD.

I am going to have to wrap this up for now with a wave of thanks to my friend MOUSE, who provided me with a new/used 5 burner grill.  MOUSE is a great Chef, but he also has connections.  He will sometimes review and test items from companies.  They send him things like, oh... say a 5 burner grill, to test out and blog about, for free!  He also has at least two or three connections with food companies where they fly him out and he makes meals up and tries them out.  Simply awesome in my opinion.  I've been a blessed recipiant of his concoctions many a time.  Very tasty.  When my Beloved was pregnant with DS1 he would often come over and help us out by preparing meals.  He's been a really good friend over the years.  I was honored to be the Best Man at his wedding.  The Groom's gift to me was an engraved pocket watch.

God has indeed blessed me and my family with some wonderful friends. Life is not easy, the fall has made it so, but God gives us friends - sometimes in unlikely ways and places, in order to fellowship with.  To share each other's burdons, and to enjoy life's successes with.  I am not one to solicite prayers for myself, or even others, but i do continue to ask that you lift up COWGIRL and her family in your prayers.  I have no idea how long, or how dark this valley will be for them, but i am praying for a miraculous recovery.  A delay in the transition from earth to heaven, but if that is not what God has in mind, i pray for a peaceful transition and for grace/mercy/ and protection of her children.  That they would grow up in the fear of the Lord, and that they would be reunited in front of the Throne to worship the Savior together again.