Trying to "Dial it in"

I am having an "off" week.  This is actually normal for me.  The reason it is "off" and not "routine", is because no two weeks of being "off" are the same.  For me, life is like trying to work a studio grade mixing board.  Like the one pictured here... only, even more 'in depth'...every week, every day, sometimes minute to minute, i try and adjust how i am interacting with the world.  I only know superficially how a mixing board works.  Essentially, each slide lever controls a sliver of frequency.  When the technician knows how to adjust each one, it makes for beautiful music (i.e. sound quality).  The "trick" is knowing how each slide interacts with the others, and how to make them work in harmony.  For me, each lever controls sensory input.  Light, sound, air temperature... how i read body language, vocal inflection, am i able to discern between the lines, all the while interacting with previous interactions with whoever, or whatever, it is i am dealing with.  On many days, i am able to keep it "within parameters", mostly.... but often, things begin to go out of whack and i am just not able to adjust the "levers" fast enough.... which leaves me feeling overwhelmed.  How to explain it... ?

For me i am not only trying to process environmental input, but situational, relational, personal processing, contextual, correct for known influences, distractions (aka the shiny bouncy ball), all the while fighting thoughts of ineptitude, inadequacy, concerns about accuracy of presentation, my own body language, vocal inflections, and word choice, wanting to interject or redirect.  For most people, this all happens instinctively.  I don't get that... i really don't.  Now, interlace all of this with a thought process that rarely, if ever, completely shuts off.  I can be thinking about the conversation i am having with person "A", while making a connection with a thought of process "G", and then also linking something completely unrelated to the immediate situation, but relative to something else i was working on earlier in the day, or week, or month.  I have often had a conversation with my beloved, where she will say, "what do you mean?", and i find myself re-evaluating the last several minutes of conversation, and i will always repeat the exact same thing i just said.  Why?  Because that is how i communicate.  If there were proficiency levels in sarcasm and innuendo, i would probably be at low level.  I say what i mean, and i mean what i say - and that is how i interact with the world around me.  That is my "default" setting if you will.  Now, in my 40+ years of learning to adapt and process, i am able to contextualize situations within "known" parameters.  Does this person use sarcasm?  What are their life experiences that they have shared?  I can sometimes (not as often as i would like to think i can) adjust my "settings", so that i know how to act appropriately.  I have learned that, my intense desire to learn how to play the Elf Whistle (Tin Whistle - but made of wood), to read and to speak Sindarin Elvish, or desire to play and share all i know about Shadowrun, is almost always (i.e. 99.99% of the time), NOT appropriate to talk about.

How i feel (pictured to the right) is how i see myself most of the time.  My overwhelming effort to just interact with the world around me... and no... this is not an exaggeration.  I am at conflict with my instincts, with my own desires, my own emotions and thoughts, constantly.  The great thing is, i am not sharing this to complain about it.  I am sharing it to give thanks for it.

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." (Psalm 139:13-16 ESV)

Not only does God's word tell me that He made me, that He saw me before i was even born.  I may not be 'perfect', but He uses ALL things to reveal His glory: "Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him." (John 9:3 ESV) God has surrounded me with incredible friends, and my beloved, who "get" me.  While they may not understand me... they... still love and support me.  I can ask for nothing greater.

In many ways, my 'processor' is a blessing.  There are many 'knots' that look clear to me.  Paths that diverge and emerge, going this way and that... i don't get lost in the tangles, but i am able to see the way out the other side.  For me - that - is natural, and while i obsess over things like Elves and certain role playing genres, i also obsess over things like the character of God.  For me the decryption key to the Bible is the very nature of God the Father, His Son - my Lord Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit.  God being perfect, cannot contradict Himself, He cannot violate His own character or nature... and i totally get that. His Law is perfect, His Love is perfect, He is omniscient (all knowing), He is omnipresent (everywhere, equally, all the time), he is omnipotent (all powerful).  So, no matter how much i struggle with keeping "dialed in", i know that He is already there.  He has already seen all of my imperfections, all of my sins - past, present, and future, and He is not surprised by my struggles, and He has watched over me... given me friends to "watch my back", who 'tolerate' me, who "get" me.  While i am not perfect, i am fully justified and yet, walking out my sanctification, and while, i have many deficiencies, He has provided for me... friends... a family... a career... i am in awe.

Being thankful, Day #16

Today i am remembering a period of my life where i had a dog.  I was in High School, i had a paper route, and a few friends, but... Spaz was my best friend.  He was always there for me - despite, in hindsight, i was not the best dog owner.  We would play a lot, he would come with me on my paper route and keep me company.  He was a great dog.  A Welsch Corgi. When we were out on the paper route he would never bark.  Even when the dogs inside the houses would go insane.

Now, i don't want to get a dog, mostly because i don't want to be the only one to take care of it, and i am nervous how i would feel when (s)he would get old and pass on.  Still, i still am very thankful to have had those years with Lord Spastic of Grinbin.  He is missed.

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Being thankful, Day #14

This post is to express my thankfulness for my friend RAM.  We first met in High School.  I had a few friends back then, and i am fortunate to still be friends with some of them, but RAM is unique among them all.  RAM and i have hung out together pretty consistently ever since - going on over thirty years now.  He was the first person i told that i had enlisted in the Army National Guard.  I was sitting next to him when he made the decision to finally give in to the calling of Christ.  He married my Beloved's roommate from college.  His son and DS2 are best friends.  His daughter and DD3 still hang out often and are good friends.  I have him listed #1 as an emergency contact right behind my Beloved.  He has often been the first one i think of when things begin going South.

I am thankful for my friend RAM, because he has truly been a gift from God.  I would be happy if God allowed us to walk as friends the rest of all our days.

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Being Thankful, Day #5

Today i will share about my thankfulness for the career i have.  Men often evaluate their own worth through achievement.  A, "look at what I have accomplished" type of mentality.  When i was growing up, i never dreamed of having a family or a job that even remotely resembles what i do now.  I will not elaborate here, but my youth was, for the most part, not the most supportive, the most nurturing.  When i dropped out of High School half way through my senior year (i wouldn't have graduated anyway), my mother never asked my why i was home or anything.  I took a job with a friend in a warehouse for a company that sold pool and patio furniture during the summer, and Christmas decorations, etc. in the off season.

I was once asked by a fellow Guardsman how i got in to the IT industry.  He wanted to duplicate my path to get to his dream job.  I simply told him, you can't get here the way i did.  Not without God.  He didn't like that answer, but it was the truth.  I was delivering pizzas when a friend of my Beloved called and said her employer was looking for someone.  I went in and didn't get the job at first.  I was the second choice. Three days after being informed i did not get the job, i was called back and asked when i could start as someone else had quit over the weekend.  That company then sent me to training for wide area network (WAN) protocols.  When my beloved became pregnant with DS1 (see 2-Nov) i stepped up my education efforts and borrowed money from the in-laws to attend Novell courses.  I never passed the CNE, but submitted a resume to a telephone company, and was hired because i happened to know their ticketing system and a little bit about Novell.  This company then spent money to train my up in the ways of Cisco.  Along the way i asked a lot of questions, etc. but i struggled to pass Cisco certification exams.  After i was called up to active duty with my National Guard unit i ended up looking for another position.  In order to be home in the evenings i had to take a 2 Paygrade and 20% (cumulative) pay reduction.  Nine years later, i am still a contractor with the same agency i took that paygrade reduction for.  I am actually in my dream job, despite feeling completely inadequate for. 

In today's climate, and for much of it since my High School days, typically a H.S. dropout, without a College degree, or any industry certifications, does not sit in the chair i am sitting in today.  Now, i am not saying all this to boast about what i have done, because i am here despite myself.  I am thankful for this job, because i am able to provide for my family, and i am doing what i really enjoy and am challenged by.  I am even beginning (again) to pursue those industry certs... why, because i can grow and learn from them. 

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Wednesday Wickedness - 20100714

Hi and welcome to Wednesday Wickedness. We are like other memes in that we will ask you ten questions each and every Wednesday. But our little "twist" is that each week we will pick a famous person and pick ten of their quotes. Each of our questions will be based on the quotes. Got it? Great! Let's begin this week's meme!

Today we picked George Steinbrenner (who passed away Tuesday morning at age 80). Here's Wednesday Wickedness!

1. "But why shouldn't I speak out? Don't you speak out in this country?" Do you speak out as often as you should?

I tend to bite my tongue more often than not.  Growing up, and even as a young man, i found that my opinion was usually wrong or unwanted so now i prefer to keep my opinions to my self.  That is unless i am talking with my beloved... or blogging.

2. "I am tough. Sometimes I'm unreasonable. I have to catch myself every once in a while." Are you ever tough and unreasonable?

Just ask my Beloved. To be honest, i don't think i am.  In my opinion i say what i mean, and i mean what i say.  Sometimes what i will ask for is not fair, and i will share that i know this, but i still need it to happen and i appreciate the effort.

3. "I haven't always done a good job, and I haven't always been successful - but I know that I have tried." Do you believe that sometimes you learn more from a failure than a success?

Indeed i do.  If one succeeds to quickly the tendency will be to redo the same action as before and thus perhaps inhibit the desire to learn other ways of doing it.  One of the other ways can either lead to new discoveries, or a better way to make a widget.  Lessons can be learned from any result, if one is willing to take the time to evaluate the results.

4. "Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next." Do you feel that you always have to win?

No sir i do not.  For me the only desired result i have when i am playing a game with friends is to enjoy their company.  The only time where i feel winning is important is in war.  When it comes to that it my objective to give the other side every opportunity to exercise their right to die for their country.  When the sword is unsheathed it should not be the objective to fight upon an equal footing, the objective to is to inflict as much violence upon the opposition so as to overwhelm it.

5. "It is unbelievable to me that the highest-paid team in baseball would start the season in such a deep funk.” Do you think money always buys greatness?

Nope!  Well, i take that back.  The Yankees play in a sport where there i no salary cap and thus you can just look at the achievements Mr. Steinbrenner's money has bought.  However, if you look at the Washington Redskins, it becomes obvious that the owner there has NOT been able to buy such goals.  Money is a tool, and required in almost any long term goal, and can be misapplied.  However, if applied correctly, it goes a long way.

6. "I take my last phone call at home at about 11pm." What time is too late to call you?

Anytime after 2100 hours (9 PM for those not accustomed to the 24 hour clock).I prefer to rise early, get most of my objectives done by noon, and pretty much be winding up my day no later than 1800 (6 PM).  By 2100 i am winding down and wanting to close the eyes - or just spend quiet time with my family and/or my Beloved.

7. "Don't talk to me about aesthetics or tradition. Talk to me about what sells and what's good right now." Do you think tradition matters?

I LOVE tradition, i love the familiar, i love to be able to just enjoy the setting and atmosphere that the familiar brings.  However, there are times when one has to be (and i can't believe i am going to say this publicly) flexible.  Sometimes new things need to be tried and experienced in order to get to where you are going.

8. "And what the American people like is to think the underdog still has a chance." Do you tend to root for the underdog?

I do.  When the New Orleans Saints made it past the first round of the playoffs last year i was pulling for them to go all the way.  When the New England Patriots first started winning Super Bowls i was like, YES!  It is great to see an underdog overcome the Goliath because in all seriousness, if the Goliath had not been prideful, had been taking care of their own business - more often than not... the underdog is going home having not achieved the goal.  But when a "David" steps out on to the field, and the Goliath takes a moment to pause and not overlook the opponent, and the underdog still wins!  Just awesome.

9. "I don't think I ever could exceed my father's successes. He was a completely satisfied man, he knew what he wanted to accomplish and he accomplished it. I did do a lot, though, to try to please him." Do you ever feel that you want to exceed your parents successes?

When i was younger i never set a goal to exceed my parents.  I wanted to find out where i could go, what i could do.  Success is really a relative term.  At one point in my career i opted to take a 20% and a 2 paygrade cut in order to be able to be home with my family in the evenings.  To me, that is success.  To be honest, i am not even sure what my parents thought "success" was, or if they ever achieved it, and i am not one to really determine if they were successful or not.

10. "I'm really 95 percent Mr. Rogers, and only 5 percent Oscar the Grouch." In terms of cartoon characters, who are you like?

That is an interesting question...  i really have no idea.  This would be a question better presented to friends and family than myself.  When i was younger Grover was my favorite Muppet.  I also felt a "kinship" (if you will) to the Elves in the Comic Elf Quest and Wolverine of the X-men.

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Wednesday Wickedness

Hi and welcome to Wednesday Wickedness. We are like other memes in that we will ask you ten questions each and every Wednesday. But our little "twist" is that each week we will pick a famous person and pick ten of their quotes. Each of our questions will be based on the quotes. Got it? Great! Let's begin this week's meme!

Today we picked Frank Sinatra. Here's Wednesday Wickedness!

1. “I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.” How often do you drink alcohol?

My doctor actually wants me to drink a glass of red wine with dinner every day, but i have to say that it's not something that i actually seek out, and i do not imbibe as often as my doctor would like.  Growing up, i was made to take a sip of beer at night before going to sleep.  This along with having an alcoholic mother did not exactly endear me to drink.

2. “The best revenge is massive success.” Have you ever gloated or wanted to over success?

I confess i struggle with pride.  I have indeed gloated over various successes.  Most of them so insignificant that i wonder why i did.  However, God has a really good sense of humor, and i have found that when i have allowed myself to gloat, i am usually indeed bound for a fall.

3. “You gotta love livin', baby, 'cause dyin' is a pain in the [butt].” What do enjoy most about your life?

Wow, not a question i expected.  Right now, i think the thing i enjoy the most is my employment is less than 10 miles from my house.  This has given me a great deal of flexibility to take care of errands, or to help cover a doctor's appointment or whatever.

4. “I'm not one of those complicated, mixed-up cats. I'm not looking for the secret to life.... I just go on from day to day, taking what comes.” Do you ever over think a situation in your life?

I think i have a tendency to underthink things.  I really do not do well with too many "spinning plates".  I am not a multitasker, so when things come up my tendency is to make my best educated guess and go with it.  When i start to "over think" things my appetite and sleep patterns pretty much change immediately.

5. “I would like to be remembered as a man who had a wonderful time living life, a man who had good friends, fine family - and I don't think I could ask for anything more than that, actually.” Tell us about your best friend.

My Beloved is truly my best friend.  She knows about my weaknesses, my failings, and my down right bad attitudes.  She knows my bad choices.  Only God knows me better... and for some reason she chooses to stick with me and love me anyway.  She enjoys making my favorite meals and desserts.  She reminds me to take my meds, she challanges me to be a better man, a better father, a better husband, and a better friend.  I keep praying that she doesn't come to her senses.

6. “I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.” How important is intelligence when picking (or having picked) a significant other to you?

My very first conversation with my Beloved was a two plus hour conversation on the Sovereignty of God.  She may not understand what i do for a living (IT stuff), she may not know much about the things i did in the National Guard, or my hobbies (Necromunda, MouseHunt, etc.).  She may not be all that good at Chess, but in many ways she is "wicked smart".  While i did not seek out a Valivictorian for a mate, i was not in search of a stereotypical "Barbi" either.

7. “I drink to the confusion of our enemies.” What's the closest situation that you've had to dealing with an enemy?
Maybe i am a bit niave, but i cannot recall the last time i've had to deal with an enemy.

8. “Orange is the happiest color.” What's your favorite color?
Blue, blue is my favorite color.  Hexadecimal value 0000FF blue.  I prefer it to have a slight neon hue to it as well.

9. “Dare to wear the foolish clown face.” Are you ever a clown?

I think a more accurate question for me is, " Are you ever a clown on purpose?"  My Beloved, most of my friends, even DS1 has the "sarcasm gene".  I do not.  Sometimes i can get a 'zinger', but most of the time i have that "whatintheworldareyoutalkingabout" look on my face.  However, i learned (and sometimes re-learn) when i was younger, that it is important to never take yourself too seriously.  Otherwise, you are just in for a lot of frustration in life.

10. “Don't get even, get mad.” Have you ever tried getting even?

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” (Romans 12:19, ESV)  For me, i have found that a thirst for vengence only distracts me.  It causes me to focus on the wrong priorities and the end result is that i am further behind.  It is better to focus on what i need to take care of, and it really does work out in the end.

This was my first participation in Wednesday Wickedness.  Janera, who is the originator of this meme, invited me to participate to help fill the void from Linda's Random Dozen.  To be honest... i was sceptical.  Quotes from celbrities?  Puhleeze.  But, i have to admit, i enjoyed how show worked the questions into the Celeb's quotes.  Although this entry is a little late for this week, i am already looking forward to next weeks entry.  I think i will give this one a go for a while 8)

Thank you again Janera for the invite!  \o

Random Dozen Wednesday

1. Would you rather host party or simply attend a party? ~ I am not really partial to crowds of more than say, 5 - that includes myself and my Beloved.  So, having to choose between these two... i would much rather attend.  That way i can find a less crowded corner or room to kind of disappear to.  However, God has a sense of humor because my Beloved is an awesome hostess.  She bakes and invites people over to relax.  And if you are inviting one couple over might as well invite five, and their children.  Although it is "uncomfortable", God has never allowed me to get complacent or comfortable. 8)

2. Tell us about the most memorable party you've been to. ~ The one that is most memorable one to me is the first one i was ever invited to.  My brother and i had been invited to BARD's house.  The age group was pretty diverse for such a party.  College students, High School Students, and others.  I remember because it was the first time i realized that i was not comfortable in a large crowd, and i learned that my brother could speak Orcish. 8)  I had to walk all the way back home to tell my mom that he was puking his guts out.  It just wasn't my scene.  Although BARD and i have been reacquainted through muFacebook and other means.  He is a fellow believer and a really good musician.  It's a shame we live about 100 miles apart though.

3. What is one thing you hope for in the after-life? ~ Wow... that is a tough one.  To be honest, i would be glad to just be cleaning the streets with my shirt tail.  I truly hope to be able to learn how to play a musical instrument so that i may play in the workshop to God that way.

4. What do you enjoy most about sunshine? ~ I enjoy the penetrating warmth that can be felt after a long cold/wet night.  When those first rays of sunshine hits your body you can almost literally feel the warmth soak into your skin.

5. When you attend a bridal/baby shower, do you prefer to bring your own gift or chip in with others to buy a larger gift? ~ 8| ... um.... i like chipping in.  I never really know what to get, and this way i feel like i have contributed in a meaningful way.  Even though it is not directly personal to me.

6. Would you rather have a FREE week of having your house cleaned or all of your meals cooked for you and your family? ~ I am leaning towards having the house cleaned.  I grew up scraping by with whatever could be scrounged to eat, and i am still that way today.  Don't get me wrong.  I enjoy a well cooked meal, and my Beloved makes sure i never go hungry.  But i think to best balance our gifts and season of life... a week of free house cleaning would be a real blessing.

7. What song describes your mood today? ~ He is Our King - by the David Crowder Band has been playing over and over in my mind today.

8. What is something you received for your own bridal shower/wedding that you still own or use? (If you are not married, feel free to sub a gift you received a long time ago.) ~ I cannot honestly remember any gift from my wedding day that we still use.  My Beloved might be able to, but i cannot.  However, my most treasured gift from my wedding day will be my bride and the ring she slipped on my finger.  It is scratched, it has been resized, it has a gauge from my military days, but she is mine and i am hers.

9. Your favorite flavor of ice cream is? ~ .Vanilla, all other "flavors" are merely variations of the original. 8)

10. When was the last time you felt "tested?" ~ Other than today?  There are "tests" everyday.  The only question is how one is going to respond to the situations you find yourself.  Tests of temptation, tests of persecution, tests of failures, test of prosperity.  But in the end what does it matter what you find yourself in the middle of, but how you react to it.

11. "[Fill in the blank] is a food that once I start eating I find really hard to stop." ~ My Beloved makes a Chicken and Rice Casserole that i can eat until i get sick to my stomach.  I have the same problem with her Pumpkin Pie too.

12. "-----" is the best motivation. ~ For me?  Responsibility.  If i don't care about something than i am not going to commit to competing/caring-about it.  But knowing that others are counting on me is a pretty good motivator for me.

Random Dozen Wednesday

1. What is one really fast, know-by-heart "go-to" meal to fix in a pinch? ~ To be honest i rely heavily upon my Beloved for ideas.  If she has not givven me an idea for whatever reason i usually reach for a frozen pizza, or i take the kids out.  I know, typical father.  I have a desire to learn how to cook better (and more often), but i have allowed other things in life to creep in and take up my time.

2. What is one item you won't leave home without? (Purse and license do not count.) ~ Can i say my wallet then?  No?  Because it is in essence the same thing, just for a guy (even though women have wallets in their purse too)... fine.  Um... my cell phone.  Also known as my electric leash (for work) and connection to the rest of the world.  If i had an iPhone it would be scary, but my Samsung Reclaim is web anabled, and that is sufficient ~ for now.

3. Where is one place you never tire of visiting? ~ I love the woods, and the mountains, but i never tire of visting the beach (in the off season).  I want to live in the middle of foot hills of the Blue Ridge Mountains with trees all around, but to visit it is the beach hands down.  And it doesn't have to be Ocean City, MD.  It can be Virginia Beach, or anywhere along the Carolinas.

4. Share one factoid of your family's history. ~ We have evidence that our family history traces back to the Norman invasion of England in 1066 and beyond.  I am also a 13th generation American.

5. Complete this sentence: "Once upon a time I ...." ~ I could have trained and participated in at least two of the three events in a tri-atholon.  I loved to run and run and run.  I used to race my school bus from the first stop to the last stop (my stop was the last one).  The route of the bus was a big semi-circle and i usually beat it.  If i went and used Google Maps i could probably figure out how far the respective distances were.  I would also ride my bike forever.  I remember riding my bike from our appartment in Annandale, VA all the way out to Burke Lake, around to where the concession stand was and back again.  Just for fun.  If i tried either today, i am pretty sure i would have a coarnary.

6. If you could win a one year's supply of anything, what would it be? ~ Dr Pepper.  Puh-leez, like there was anything close.  But not just any Dr Pepper, no sir.  Dublin Dr Pepper, made with real cane sugar.

7. "One quirky thing you may not know about me is ...." ~ Um... i'm pretty sure i've covered most, if not all, of my quirkiness.  Thinking... Ok, i couldn't answer this for myself so i polled my Beloved and two friends... each of them had the immediate response, "Just one!?".  So, here is a brief list: My sense of humor (specificaly computer related, and how i can find something funny when others do not), how particular i am about getting comfortable when going to bed, My flair obsession on facebook, painting my "little army men", whistiling with "incredible" accuracy.

8. You have one dollar in your pocket. What will you buy? ~ This is a tough one.  Not a big fan of The Dollar Store, or The Dollar General.  I will probably go for a handful of the Carmel candies, the ones with sugar in the middle.  Love those things.

9. "One thing that always makes me laugh is ...." ~ My Beloved's laugh.  Some things get kind of old and i will not always laugh.  Although Calvin & Hobbs comes close, it's still not 100%. 

10. What is one thing you could do today to help yourself reach a personal goal? ~ Write out several hundred words on my short stories.  Get the character descriptions done, and maybe outline their main character personalities better outlined.  The word count could apply to any number of steps along my personal goal. 8)

11. What is one thing you could do today to bless someone else? ~ I try and keep my eyes open for opportunities.  For me, i think a good one would be to try and discern a way to serve my Beloved without having to be asked.

12. What is one thing you're looking forward to soon? ~ Soon is a relative term.  Something locked in, or something hoped for.  For the former i am going to take DS1, DS2, and COWGIRL's DS1 to see Iron Man 2 next week.  I am hoping to go with RAM and PETRA as well.  For the latter, well... i would love for a long 3 or 4 day weekend at the Beach.

Ramblin Friday

This week has been absolutely insane in my real world life.  I barely got my Music Monday entry in, and Wednesday MEME is easier than coming up with all of it on my own.  I haven't had the time to add to my short stories this week either.  Fortunetly it gives me a whole lot to ramble about.

As i mentioned on Monday, my Beloved and i will be welcoming in a single mother (COWGIRL) and her two children (boy 13, girl 8).  COWGIRL has recently been diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer and she lives out West in a somewhat remote location.  Medical facilities are not stellar and there was limited access to top of the line Oncology resources. My Beloved and i reached out to her to offer our guestroom, etc. for her to come out here so that she can have access to Johns Hopkins and any other Oncology resources she might need.  They will be arriving tomorrow and her appointments begin in ernest next week.  Several friends have complimented my Beloved and i on taking this family in.  To be honest i am really confused as to how to respond to such praise.  It feels like this is what we should be doing, not that we are doing anything extraordinary.  God has blessed us with a home with a guestroom, and in close proximity to such resources.  She is also a close and dear friend, as opposed to a stranger.  I think i am embaressed by the praise... like it is putting the attention on me (and my family) instead of on her and her family.  And they are the ones who need the attention and support....  Not that people telling us "good job" is a bad thing... so when i try and divert the attention, and praise to God, i feel... what is the word... pious.  Like i am coming across "Holier than thou" type of deal... and, that is really not how i feel or want to convey... it's like how i feel about hugs... i guess i just need to accept them, say thank you, and move on.  In all things, to God be the glory, and i thank you all for your encouragement and support as well.

Music Monday has touched the "Big Time".  Big Mama has been granted and interview with Michael Gunger, and she is participating in a promo to give away a CD!  Click HERE to read the interview and enter in the contest.  Check it out! While i may have started this variation of a theme, Big Mama has really been a faithful participant and she draws from a much wider pool of life experiences in music.  Thank you Alise, and way to go!

With Tron Legacy coming out in December, and the possibility of actually being in Disney within a month of the release date, i am already feeling exceptionally geeky.  But, i have alse recently heard that Max Headroom is coming out on DVD for an official release on 10-August!  It is already sitting in my Amazon.com Cart, being saved for later.  I know all 100 of us here in the United States who loved this show, are pretty excited!  In my opinion Max Headroom was a major reason the Cyber Punk genre expanded as much as it did.

Speaking of DVD's, The Book of Eli is coming out on Blueray and DVD 15-June.  I really enjoyed this movie, but i have to be honest.  I will probably not buy this as soon as it hits the shelves.  Why?  Because I do not feel $25 is a good price for a DVD that does not have a whole lot of special features.  most of them are on the Blueray version - just another marketing ploy to get us to all upgrade to the newest technology.  And it does work, i can't blame it all on the manufacturers.  If we consumers would just unite some and get them to stop changing the market, etc.  Before the mid-twentieth century a lot of things stayed the same for a very long time.  If you bought the latest and greatest widget, it was most likely going to be good for as long as the widget lasted, or you no longer needed it.  Now, tech runs in 2 year cycles!  Even the IRS devalues company assets on IT faster than anything else!  If you buy a top of the line TV today, within 3 to 6 months you could have saved at least 25% on what you paid, two years your TV is "antiquated".  I am all for a free market economy, but i am seeing how and why my own father seemed so old fashioned when i was a kid.

Speaking of movies,  i have been itching to go watch Iron Man 2 with my friend RAM and DS1.  Life just keeps "getting in the way".  Meaning there are just higher priorities to heading out and seeing the latest film.  Now with COWGIRL coming in and all, maybe i can get all of us and the boys out to see it next week.  Another friend, PETRA, wants to come along as well.  I am starting to think i might be able to finagle a group discount or something. If we don't get out to see it soon, i may have to wait to see Robin Hood when it comes out on DVD.

I am going to have to wrap this up for now with a wave of thanks to my friend MOUSE, who provided me with a new/used 5 burner grill.  MOUSE is a great Chef, but he also has connections.  He will sometimes review and test items from companies.  They send him things like, oh... say a 5 burner grill, to test out and blog about, for free!  He also has at least two or three connections with food companies where they fly him out and he makes meals up and tries them out.  Simply awesome in my opinion.  I've been a blessed recipiant of his concoctions many a time.  Very tasty.  When my Beloved was pregnant with DS1 he would often come over and help us out by preparing meals.  He's been a really good friend over the years.  I was honored to be the Best Man at his wedding.  The Groom's gift to me was an engraved pocket watch.

God has indeed blessed me and my family with some wonderful friends. Life is not easy, the fall has made it so, but God gives us friends - sometimes in unlikely ways and places, in order to fellowship with.  To share each other's burdons, and to enjoy life's successes with.  I am not one to solicite prayers for myself, or even others, but i do continue to ask that you lift up COWGIRL and her family in your prayers.  I have no idea how long, or how dark this valley will be for them, but i am praying for a miraculous recovery.  A delay in the transition from earth to heaven, but if that is not what God has in mind, i pray for a peaceful transition and for grace/mercy/ and protection of her children.  That they would grow up in the fear of the Lord, and that they would be reunited in front of the Throne to worship the Savior together again.