Something borrowed - and my own ramblings mixed in

I read this over at a friend's blog and thought it was pretty cool.

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The Mayonnaise Jar and Two Cups of Coffee

When things in your life seem
almost too much to handle,
when 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
remember the mayonnaise jar
and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class
and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly,
he picked up a very large
and empty mayonnaise jar
and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students
if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and
poured them into the jar.
He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open
areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again
if the jar was full..
They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand
and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full.
The students responded with a unanimous
“Yes.”

The professor then produced
two cups of coffee from under the table
And poured the entire contents
into the jar, effectively
filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed.
“Now,” said the professor,
as the laughter subsided,
“I want you to recognize that this jar represents
your LIFE”
“The golf balls are the important things -
God, family, children, health,
friends, and favorite passions –
things that if everything else was lost
and only they remained,
your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter
like your job, house, and car.
The sand is everything else –
the small stuff.
If you put the sand into the jar first,”
he continued,
“there is no room for
the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time
and energy on the small stuff,
you will never have room for
the things that are
important to you.
So…

Pay attention to the things
that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.
Play another 18.
There will always be time
to clean the house
and fix the disposal.
Take care of the golf balls first –
the things that really matter.
Set your priorities.
The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand
and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled.
“I’m glad you asked”.
“It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may
seem, there’s always room for
a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

---

I apologize for the infrequency of writing of late.  Life feels like it has been crazy since i started my anti-depressant meds.  Don't get me wrong, they are working wonders for me.  It's just that my writing endeavors have been focused elsewhere of late.  I write/read e-mails all day.  I write ticket notes.  I write problem summaries.  I even get a chance to write some more of my stories from time to time.  Then, when it comes time to blog... i feel like i am completely unsure of what to write about.  I have been doing the jot notes and save them deal... but i have not been coming back to flesh out the notes as often.  I am going to be trying to post at least one blog entry a week going forward.  Give myself a goal to shoot for.  8)  Anyway, for now... more rambling...

I had drifted away from collecting Pieces of Flair over on facebook, but i need to expand my MouseHunt flair some, and i created a few more pieces myself.  Besides, i really like using the images for spicing up my blog entries. ;-) So, time to spend some of my Flair credits.... 8)

Recently a really good morning radio show went off the air.  I really liked this trio, but alas the main guy took a job out in Northern California.  Fortunately one can catch things on the Internet.  LOL  It was the Mornings with Brant radio show.  I am especially going to miss their Monday Morning song, "I Saw the Light" as performed by The David Crowder Band:

It always brought a smile to my face.  I am not a fan of change, but i know that if there is one thing in certain in life, it's change.

Sometime ago, i had received an invitation - and please pardon me for not researching back through my blog to dig it up - to join a group that had strong disagreements with Sovereign Grace Ministries and its leaders.  With some trepidation i explored their site, and while i had a very hard time imagining the grievances i found there, i was also willing to admit that there are no perfect churches and it might be possible.  However, since i did not experience the situations first hand, nor did i know the people presenting them, i decided that i would not be joining them as SGM has richly blessed me, and as a result many others who i interact with - even on a daily basis.  So, with my continued support of SGM it grieved me to learn that C.J. Mahaney would be taking a leave of absence from his position as head of SGM.  This was due to several serious "charges" being made against him - you can read it more thoroughly on his blog: CJ's View from the Cheap Seats.  While i am disappointed, and grieved about these events (mostly due to my own pride) i am also encouraged by the steps being taken.  CJ is not without sin here, as is plain to read in his own words (as even more elaborately stated in his comments to his home church), and this has been occurring over a decade long period.  To read about his reconciliation with Larry Tomczak is especially heartening.  I do not know how it will all play out, but i do know that if more leaders would take the steps CJ has finally realized he needed to, the church of Christ would be a whole lot stronger today.

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Music Monday - 20110207

When i took LONG SHANKS to the Youth group meeting at church last week i had gone with the intention of adding to my on-going story line.  I shouldn't have gotten on-line if i had honestly wanted to get any writing done, but i did.  In the long run i am glad that i did, but i didn't get any writing done.

I came upon a slide show presented by Together for the Gospel on Facebook. The song moved me deeply and though i needed to use it for my weekly (well, it supposed to be weekly) Music Monday post.   You see, i feel we humans really do see our own contribution to the Savior's suffering and death far too superficially.  I am not saying we remain there, merely that we take an honest look at exactly what our rebellion meant to the very One who created us, who breathed life into us.  For me, when i do this... i feel the joy and immense freedom His supreme sacrifice on behalf conveys.

O Great God

Sovereign Grace Music

Album:  Valley of Vision - August 2006

Verse 1

O great God of highest heaven

Occupy my lowly heart

Own it all and reign supreme

Conquer every rebel power

Let no vice or sin remain

That resists Your holy war

You have loved and purchased me

Make me Yours forevermore

Verse 2

I was blinded by my sin

Had no ears to hear Your voice

Did not know Your love within

Had no taste for heaven’s joys

Then Your Spirit gave me life

Opened up Your Word to me

Through the gospel of Your Son

Gave me endless hope and peace

Verse 3

Help me now to live a life

That’s dependent on Your grace

Keep my heart and guard my soul

From the evils that I face

You are worthy to be praised

With my every thought and deed

O great God of highest heaven

Glorify Your Name through me

Songwriters: Mark Altrogge, Stephen Altrogge, Peter Gagnon, Bob Kauflin, Doug Plank, and Pat Sczebel

This week i would like to include a poem by John Piper.

Doubly Relieved

My patient Comforter, my God,
     My Life, my Breath, my holy Zeal,
My soul is doubly sorrowful:
     That I still sin against your Seal,
And sinning cause my Sovereign grief.
     I know it is your holy way
To make your grief serve perfect joy,
      But I still pray, O bring the day
When, in the twinkling of an eye,
     My soul will doubly be relieved:
I will not ever sin again,
     And you will nevermore be grieved.
by John Piper

---

I had a train of thought... but it looks more like the escape scene from "The Fugitive" now

This past Sunday in church my mind was running 90 miles per hour.  We are going through a revisit of our Mission Statement as well as messages on encouraging the congregation to "deeper and wider". 
For a long time i have struggled with 'man-centered' sermons.  Ones that talk about what we need to do, how we need to act to feel better, to improve our relationship with God, etc.  It is only natural i guess.  Especially in those whom the Holy Spirit has awakened the awareness of our own depravity apart from God.  We know there is problem and we know it has to be taken care of, and it is human nature to want to fix it.  To bring something to the table so to speak.  That spills over into sermons on Sunday morning and we spend so much time focusing on ourselves that we never look at who God is.  Sure we use the Bible to insert into appropriate parts of the sermon, but it is to examine ourselves, not to examine God.  One reason we are at the church we are at now is because i have spoken with the pastor, and i can see glimpses of him trying to turn the focus more on who God is.  Anyway... i digress... during the sermon my mind would grab on points and seemingly expound upon what was being preached upon. 

Anyway... this Sunday i took several notes, and i was all pumped up about blogging about this most excellent train of thought i was having... only to read my notes today... and they are not making sense... at least they are not clicking as to why i was so pumped up excited.  So... what i will do is just use my notes to expound upon my own thoughts... and just go from there.

I do remember thinking why are most sermons so watered down.  The messages talk about Jesus saving people, about how good He is.  Rarely have i heard about Him dying on the cross.  Even more rare is to hear the word sin, or that He saves sinners... let alone declaring that anyone listening is a sinner.  Some may think this harsh, but i would encourage you to pick six churches at random in your local neighborhood/city/town.  Most nowadays, do some form of recording, but if they don't and you have the time, sit through the usually no longer than 30 minute sermon.  If you hear the reference to people being sinners more than twice all together, i would be surprised.  Even still we hear generalities such as sin is bad, God is good, and God is love and He forgives.  None of that is untrue, but why can't we go deeper?  Why can't we touch on things like that we are still sinners, saved by grace.  That we do fail God, that He does work in our lives, that we do still require His discipline - which is uncomfortable.

I cannot remember the full context of the sermon (sorry Pastor) where our preacher was talking about being "called out" and "called to".  While i agree we have indeed been "called out" of something, and "called to" something... I do having the opinion that it was too superficial however.  What exactly have we been "called out" of?  A life of sin?  Surely, and yet we still struggle in the flesh.  Ultimately we have been called out of a life apart from God, out of a life where we only live for our self, we have been called out of a life of hating God.

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. (Romans 5:6-10, ESV emphasis mine)

I feel that deep appreciation, and the best thing we could ever do for both the seeker and the saint, is to not shy away from what our condition would be without Christ.  Even after our heart and mind have quickened to the heading of God, and accepted Jesus' work on the cross, it is only His sustaining grace that brings us through.  If it were not for Christ going to the cross, we would never have regained fellowship with God.  There for, not only have we been called out of our own depravity, our own self imposed isolation, we have been called to a relationship with God.  We have been called to living for God and not for ourselves.  We have been called to a state that we will never again be alone.

And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined [4] to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin [5] a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. (1 Corinthians 6:14-20, ESV)

While, now that we are one with God, we should not take ownership of our sin, because through the blood of Christ and his propitiation upon the cross it has been taken away, we should never forget our sorry state apart from Christ, lest we deceive ourselves and think we have arrived before we have been called home.  Apart from the grace of God, and His transforming work in our lives, we are retched little creatures.  This is why i keep a statue of the creature Gollum from the Lord of the Rings on my desk.  By the inspiration of Joshua Harris i quote the conversation between Gandalf and Frodo from the works of J.R.R. Tolkein:

"What do you mean?" said Frodo.  "Surely the Ring was his precious and the only thing he cared for?  But if he hated it, why didn't he get rid of it, or go away and leave it?"

"You ought to begin to understand, Frodo, after all you have heard," said Gandalf.  "He hated it and loved it, as he hated and loved himself.  He could not get rid of it.  He had no will left in the matter."  (from The Fellowship of the Ring)

Apart from the work of God we could never leave our sin behind.  We both love it, and hate it, but we can never just rid ourselves of it.  If we deny that we still struggle with sin and are still in need of Christ, we deceive ourselves. (1 John 1).  I do not think we can have a better example than Paul:

So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, [1] a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.(2 Corinthians 12:7-9, ESV)

So long as we dwell in this vessel, we will continue to wage war against desires of the flesh... our precious... our sin.  To do nothing... to fail to draw our attention to our truest need... is to leave one vulnerable to the guile of the enemy. Do we remain there?  No!  We should rejoice and celebrate all that God has brought us to!  We should sin praises, we should rejoice, but unless we reach down and realize just what we have been saved from - if we continue to gloss over the ugly parts - we will only ever superficially respond and our worship will be deficient for it.

Until we sing...

‘Twas I that shed the sacred blood;
    I nailed him to the tree;
I crucified the Christ of God;
    I joined the mockery.

Of all that shouting multitude
   I feel that I am one;
And in that din of voices rude
   I recognize my own.

Around the cross the throng I see,
   Mocking the Sufferer’s groan;
Yet still my voice is seems to be,
   As if I mocked alone.
(A Hymn by Horatius Bonar)

We can never fully appreciate...

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.

For those who have endured this train wreck to the end... thank you for your patience.  I take no credit in anything other than the sharing of thoughts.  I pray that this has blessed you, and may you richly and deeply feel the passion of your Savior.

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The Networking of My Life

Facebook is incredible.  I know there are tons of people out there screaming about privacy, etc. but as the user if you pay attention these things are easily taken care of.  You, as the USER have to be more aware of  your surroundings.  Don't just click on every link, if something sounds too good to be true it probably is, and if you don't want everyone seeing your details don't leave the settings that way.  The part that is really cool is that i had a friend in High School who i would hang out with a lot.  Some of things we did were not all that good, but we were friends.  When i shattered his nose (broken in seven places) over a misunderstanding he never told his mother (thanks, and ai am really sorry for that, TYNIE).  He told her it was an accident.  Well, shortly after he came to my wedding, he kind of faded out of the scene.  Later attempts to find him were not very successful ~ granted i am NOT a Private Investigator.  Out of the blue i got a friend request from him on Facebook a few days ago.  Awesome!  We may never by 'tight' friends again, but it is good to catch up with him.

Speaking of Facebook, i have been having a hard time feeding my Flair addiction of late, and this has actually bummed me out some (TULIP ~ i have already admitted i have an addiction, but i am just not ready to commit to treatment yet ;-) ).  I "only" have a little more than 725 pieces of flair, and over 6,100 points. 8)  I really like collecting the various pieces of flair because they are sort of snapshots to things that interest me.  For example i went out of my way and made sure i had one piece of flair representing each of the 32 NFL teams.  I also have one of each Bobblehead from Fallout 3.  Sometimes i will go through phases, like looking for samurai themed ones, or a favorite musician.  I have slowly been "categorizing" them in folders so that it is easier for me to use them here on my blog.  I work hard to not have duplicates, especially ones that have quirky sayings on them, but some i will have variations on a theme such as thunderstorms, or Dr Pepper.  Recently though, i have "purchased" (using my surplus of flair points) another background (or dozen) just for a new "series" of buttons i have been picking up.  The Mice from MouseHunt.

MouseHunt is not quite a new addiction, but obsession might be close.  This is a unique game on Facebook in that you do not have to have a ton of "friends" to do well or watch your back.  People are not out stealing your supplies or sabotaging your efforts.  It is you, the hunter, versus the mice of the game.  You have to figure out what combination of trap and cheese to catch the mice.  There are different types of traps for different types of mice, and not all mice are attracted by the Gouda.  There are a lot of different areas to hunt in, new clues to find, new items to construct, etc.  It is also a game that i do not have to play obsessively.  I can perform one hunt and let the game go for at least 24 hours before it stops to wait for me to come back.  MouseHunt is a fun game that fits me pretty well.  So far i have captured only 32 out of the 165 different kinds of mice.  This might take me a while. 8)

Between Blogger, Facebook and Google Alerts, i am pretty much as connected as i want to be.  I don't feel that i am overly subscribed, but i am connected and i receive information on the things that interest me.  For example, i do not just get alerts and blog updates about TRON, or Shadowrun.  I get blog updates from several men and organizations that i am spiritually fed by (in a supplemental sort of way).  One blog i follow, both through Blogger and NetworkedBlogs on Facebook, is CJ Mahaney's view from the cheap seats & other stuff.  To be honest, some of the posts are over my head, but a recent three part series i really admired.  It was posted by Dave Harvey and the title of the series is Patience, Pace, and Church Planting.  I admire this series because God has allowed me to witness at least three instances where churches were not being led well but had been managed in the name of expediency.  SGM does not plant new churches just to plant them and add another group of members under their banner.  They take their time, they are thoughtful, and they are deliberate in how they proceed.  You see, for years i had lived in Frederick, MD and was driving to Gaithersburg, MD in order to attend the church i thought God wanted my family to attend.  At the same time i was convinced that God wanted SGM to plant a church in Frederick, MD.  I wrote a couple of letters, and even had at least one face to face meeting with the Pastors, but the timing was not right.  Not yet.  Five years later, still no church plant and my family was moving once more.  Not long after we moved, SGM announced that they would be planting a church in the very city i had been praying for.  It was God's timing, not mine or the Pastor's or anyone else's.  And now Sovereign Grace Church of Frederick is flourishing, and that is an awesome thing.  For almost the past year God has been putting on my heart a desire to approach SGM once again.  To be honest, i have been scarred to even write the letter - despite GUNNY's encouragement.  I think, starting immediately, i will go to my knees in prayer.

On a side note, in my researching for background information on an upcoming character for my short stories, i impulsively took a moment to write an author about how much i enjoyed a recently released book (Shadow King), as well as an upcoming release (Path of the Warrior ~ which looks like it is the 1st part of a trilogy! wOOt!).  I also dared to ask a few questions about the Eldar of Warhammer 40,000, since he has been involved with this particular race and game system for a long time.  Would you know he wrote back!  Totally cool.  He thanked me for the encouragement, and he answered my questions.  I think, that maybe, i need to learn to have a little more courage when i am pursuing the things that matter to me.  Perhaps there is a lesson there about the church plant as well...

What a long weekend

It seems like forever since i last updated this blog, but in reality it's only been what... 3 days?  Let's see, we had friends over until 1:30 AM, we've had two soccer games, a basketball game, Awana's (that i did not go to), i've changed jobs (well, not really, just employeers), started another blog entry that i will work on from time to time until i am happy with it, began using a CPAP machine last night, and to put the cherry on top, my beloved will be leaving for an Autism related conference tonight.  Life remains in a constant state of change, and intellectually i know that God is in charge and all things will ultimately be fine ~ and yet i still struggle with change.  I am constantly preaching to myself about God's sovereignty and to not allow my flesh to dictate how it reacts, and yet during these times of more upheavel than usual i have a very hard time sleeping, etc. Why is that?

Another thing that set me off kilter this weekend was a comment left by another well meaning person who has had issues with Sovereign Grace Ministries.  They felt that i needed to see the "other side".  In the end i just deleted their comment.  I have never seen the things they are referring to, nor have i known anyone who experienced such things.  Therefor i am unable to speak to such things.  I also find myself disagreeing with their theology.  So, in the end i feel that i do not need to know, nor do i wish to affiliate myself with, them.  I acknowledge that bad things can happen no matter what church you attend.  And while abuses need to be reported, differences of theology sould not be escalate to the point of causing open hostility. I am not a good debator, nor do i wish for this blog to become a forum for such debates.  I do not mind brief discussions, but this is not a place for debate.  As for me, i very much appreciate, approve of, support, and encourage others to attend Sovereign Grace Churches, and listen to messages by CJ Mahaney and the Pastors who seek to proclaim the gospel through Sovereign Grace Ministries.  God did not make us all Baptists, or Methodists, or Catholics.  But He has made me a Reformed/Charismatic/Calvinist/Non-Denominational/Fundamentalist Christian.  Opinions are like armpits, only yours stinks worse than mine. ;-)  I am aware that there will be a great many things that i hold as true in my mind that will not stand before the ultimate Judge of the universe.  My trust does not begin, or even end, with what i hold to be true.  It is firmly held by my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who came to the world in the form of a human child, who lived a sinless life, and then willingly went to the cross in order to be a propitiation for sins on my behalf.  He died there on the cross, was buried, and on the third day rose again.  He has since ascended to Heaven where He intercedes for me yesterday, today, and tomorrow.  He is God and i am not.  He is the perfectly Holy and righteous judge, and without Christ there is nothing within me that has not been tainted by sin.  No matter how "correct" my own views and opinions are.  Although i am fully justified before the Throne of God, i am being remade daily as i walk out my ongoing sanctification and being transformed more and more into the image of Jesus.  It pains me to hear that others are not being as blessed as i have been through Sovereign Grace Ministries, but that is true of anyone who attends any church.  Because man is involed, so will sin.  I pray that all those who are not in a church where they are being blessed and growing in Christ would find a church where this can happen.  The name on the door is not relavent.  What is relavent is that the gospel be proclaimed, that Christ is glorified, and that His people are growing in Christ.

Music Monday - 20090914

In the past i have felt a desire to be more passionate about my God and Savior. I've felt lukewarm for a while about my relationship and pursuit of Christ. Well, let's just say i am 'cooler' than i really wish to be. Due to illness and other reasons the family was not able to make it to church yesterday so i searched for a website that carried sermons from C.J. Mahaney and i found a site called Vimeo. Sovereign Grace Ministries has registered a user name there and have uploaded almost 30 videos of various speakers so i did not narrowly focus on just CJ, but a video titled "Extravagant Devotion" struck a cord with me and i proceeded to watch it on my home PC (with the occasional interuptions, "Daddy, I'm hungry", etc.). Reader, if you have the time i whole heartedly recommend the following video:

As God often does there was a poignant line that struck to the heart of my "dilemma". About 2/3 to 3/4 of the way through CJ says that he is sometimes asked how he is so passionate. This of course made me perk up my ears. His response?

"What do you review and reflect on each day? We all want to feel deeply, but we don’t want to think deeply. There is a relationship between thinking, theologically informed thinking, and feeling."

To my shame i am guilty of allowing my Bible to have dust settle on it. It sits all too often idle on my night stand. It is not dusted off either dusk or dawn. The Bible verse for this sermon is:

It was now two days before the Passover and the Feast of Unleavened Bread. And the chief priests and the scribes were seeking how to arrest him by stealth and kill him, for they said, “Not during the feast, lest there be an uproar from the people.” And while he was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, [1] as he was reclining at table, a woman came with an alabaster flask of ointment of pure nard, very costly, and she broke the flask and poured it over his head. There were some who said to themselves indignantly, “Why was the ointment wasted like that? For this ointment could have been sold for more than three hundred denarii [2] and given to the poor.” And they scolded her. But Jesus said, “Leave her alone. Why do you trouble her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. For you always have the poor with you, and whenever you want, you can do good for them. But you will not always have me. She has done what she could; she has anointed my body beforehand for burial. And truly, I say to you, wherever the gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will be told in memory of her.” Then Judas Iscariot, who was one of the twelve, went to the chief priests in order to betray him to them. And when they heard it, they were glad and promised to give him money. And he sought an opportunity to betray him. (Mark 14:1-11, ESV)

In his sermon CJ remarks on how everyone in the room was critical of Mary, and what they should have been doing is lining up behind her to do the same. I literally wept at this point. Haven't i been forgiven! Aren't my sins nailed to His cross! Too often i am among the scoffers and not often enough am i sitting at His feet. While i was listening to this sermon the song, Mary Did You Know came to mind... and it is my song for today.

Mary Did you Know? by Mark Lowry - October 1988 Mary did you know that your baby boy would one day walk on water? Mary did you know that your baby boy would save our sons and daughters? Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new? This child that you've delivered, will soon deliver you. Mary did you know that your baby boy would give sight to a blind man? Mary did you know that your baby boy would calm a storm with his hand? Did you know that your baby boy has walked where angels trod? And when your kiss your little baby, you have kissed the face of God. Oh Mary did you know--- The blind will see, the deaf will hear,the dead will live again. The lame will leap, the dumb will speak, the praises of the lamb---. Mary did you know that your baby boy is Lord of all creation? Mary did you know that your baby boy would one day rule the nations? Did you know that your baby boy is heaven's perfect lamb

? This sleeping child you're holding is the great--I--- AM---. So i ask...

Do you intentionally review and reflect upon the gospel? If not, and i am including myself in this question and statement, do not expect to be passionate about the Savior.

“And to the angel of the church in Laodicea write: ‘The words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of God's creation.

“‘I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see. Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me. The one who conquers, I will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.’” (Revelation 3:14-22, ESV)

I am thinking 9-7 may be a stretch at this point

For those who may not know by now, i am a fan of the Carolina Panthers. I had grown up a fan of the Washington Redskins, but that was only because both my father and mother where fans. I was never 'fanatical' if you were, so after i got married and learned that the NFL was going to expand the league by two more teams i decided that which ever one was in the NFC, that would be my team. Maybe not a scientific method, but it's the one i went with. So, in 1995 my (new) team finally took the field and nearly won the very first outing losing to the Atlanta Falcons 20-23. Since then i have seen my team make it to the NFC Championship three times, but in all that time my team has never had back to back winning seasons. I have suffered through the 1-15 season and i have had my hopes dashed a few times. Last year all i wanted for Christmas was an NFC South Championship and the Cats delivered! This year all i want for Christmas is a 9-7 season. I know that sounds backwards, but it would be a real nice moment for me to know they could do it. Unfortunately, the injury bug has been biting the Panthers this pre-season and now my dream seems like a long shot. Who know... not many picked the Panthers to win the NASCAR division (in the toughest division of the NFL no less - the NFC South of 2008 set the record for the both the most # of wins and the highest winning percentage of an entire division). Who knows... anything can happen. And the games that matter don't start for another eighteen days ~ at least not for the Panthers. There will be four games i know i will get to see this year:

28-Sept - @ the Dallas Cowboys - Monday night game

11-Oct - hosting the Washington Redskins - i know this is a Sunday game, but the local Fox station plays either the Redskins or some other NFC East division. The Cowboys should move to the NFC South and Carolina should move to the East if you ask me.

19-Nov - hosting the Miami Dolphins on a Thursday night game. I might have to go to a friend's house who has the NFL network though.

20-Dec - hosting the Minnesota Vikings.

This will be the most games that i've ever been able to watch in the regular season so i am pretty excited about that. God knows how well (or not) the Panthers will do this season. In the meantime i am just stoked that the regular season is around the corner. I just want to watch some meaningful football again! Since i am a geek, and my old cell phone is dieing a slow pitiful death (and annoying me as it drops calls, loses memory, and the battery seems to fade if i go out of the area for more than 15 minutes) i decided to replace both my, and my beloved's cell phone. I was unsure of exactly which phone i wanted to get, but then the Samsung Reclaim caught my eye. With some discounts and concessions i was able to pic it up for a good price. But for me the selling point was that i could get it in Ocean (i.e. Carolina) Blue. LOL This Saturday i am going to head out to the Antietam National Battlefield to see a Civil War artillery demonstration. Hopefully there will be some pictures to share next week. I've sent out a Facebook invite to all of my Artillery buddies, and a few of them said they will be there, some are unsure... but it will be nice to do/watch something Artillery again. It will be the first time i will be able to break out my new walking stick. This past week has been a blur, but the other night i believe God may have given me an idea as to how to approach writing the letter to Sovereign Grace Ministries regarding my interest in them (hopefully) doing a church plant in my area. Of course, since then both my personal and professional time has been crazy busy. I've kept the ideas alive in my noggin' and hope to write the letter VERY soon.

Burning the midnight oil

The thought just came to me, 'where did that saying come from, and why do we actually say it'? Now, i sort of already know the why, but not so much the where. And to be honest, i don't care enough to look it up. Anyway, i have another midnight shift for work and the list i made to keep myself busy for these two nights was completed yesterday morning at about 05:30, so there is less to occupy my mind and time this morning. That makes me worried since i will have a harder time getting through the early morning hours this time. I am very, very thankful that i live only fifteen minutes from work. I just talked with the building custodian. I've met him before, but we don't get much time to chat. His name is James and he seems to truly enjoy his job. Which is rare now a days, especially within the service industry. Have i ever mentioned before that i am addicted to flair? More specifically the flair on Facebook. I don't know why, but i browse it at least once a day. I have 150 virtual pieces of flair, but i must give more than i receive because i have over 2000 flair points, but i can't help myself. One thing i definitely like is that i can use them to spruce up the ol' 'dojo' up while i am writing these incredibly boring entries. I've also created over 20 pieces of flair to share with my friends and the general Facebook world. They are not all listed in the directory (for example one of them is a friend who did not give me permission to share his image, but he looks so cool playing the trumpet... so i shared it with him), but most of them are not all that popular. The one thing that is irritating is that i can only share 56 of them at a time on my Facebook profile. What's up with that! Oh well, if nothing else it will help expand my gallery of meaningless 'art' to post here to help entertain the handful of readers that happen by - as well as those faithful regulars - thanks guys! With a little less to do, and even fewer people around to talk to, i have some music playing (a Tull song just ended, and now i am listening to Your So Good To Me by Sovereign Grace Music), and i've brought some material to read: The Book "The Elements of Style" by Strunk & White, to help me improve my writing; some research material on the 'book' i am writing (i am not sure how to refer to it since it will most likely never be published); the Prologue for said work in progress - this is a piece i've started to help me visualize where the main character has come from; and finally some miscellaneous reading material if i should run out of other things to do. One reason i am confident that my work will never be published is that it is based within a setting wholly created by a company known as Games Workshop (specifically, within the scope of Necromunda). They are highly protective of their intellectual property - as well they should be - and unless i can polish it well enough for their division known as the Black Library, it will never see the light of day (so to speak). Anything is possible, but i like to keep my expectations low, and then if God would so allow, i can be excited. It's ok if my little work is never published because i really do enjoy writing, and more particularly i like writing within their setting. One of the characters that will be in my 'book' i've been writing about for several years now. His name has morphed over time, but the 'person' is the same. One reason i like to write stories within the settings of GW's games is i enjoy playing out a scenario on the table top and then incorporating it into the story i am writing at the time. If anyone is interested, i self 'publish' them on-line at "Samurai's Yarns". The latest work there is a short piece i typed up to help me get an idea of what my characters look like. One last piece of rambling before i have to get up and stretch my legs ~ my beloved is getting away for a couple of nights with some friends this weekend. She was reluctant at first but i had to really encouraged her to go. It would be nice for her to get a break from the routine around the house. Yes, i am jealous of her being away from me and wanting to be there with her, but she really needs to get away for a bit. While her headaches seem to be getting to a manageable level (with the help of allergy shots and some other meds) i feel the change in scenery will be really good for her. Now it will be my job to make sure that not only are the kids delivered to the other end alive and whole, but that the house is not in a shambles and her feeling like it all went to pot without her. She already knows we need and rely on her, i just don't want her to feel like she can't go away without her husband letting the house fall apart. While i've been typing up this paragraph i've been trying to figure out a way to elaborate just how much it feels like God has been doing between us of late ~ but i don't think i could do it justice. I am also scared that i will some how ruin it. Our marriage is not perfect, but i can honestly say that my worst day spent with her has been far better than i had ever hoped for before i met her. Neither of us are perfect, but God did really give me a wife who completes me in a human sense... and by far, i've received the better end of this arrangement. I still remember the first day we met, the sun, the conversation, how i felt. It still took God's hand to gently push me (and some Divine intervention ) , but fourteen months after we met we were joined in marriage. It has been over sixteen years, and i am praying that we are not even a third of the way through it.

Music Monday - 20080505

Ok... this was a weekend from... well, that would be an exaggeration. Nothing on Earth can actually match that kind of pain and 'gnashing of teeth', but it was not enjoyable. I heard this song while cutting my lawn over the weekend...

The Look
By John Newton (original lyrics), Bob Kauflin (alternate and new lyrics and Music)
© 2001 Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI)

I saw one hanging on a tree
In agony and blood
Who fixed His loving eyes on me
As near His cross I stood
And never till my dying breath
Will I forget that look
It seemed to charge me with His death
Though not a word He spoke

My conscience felt and owned the guilt
And plunged me in despair
I saw my sins His blood had spilt
And helped to nail Him there
But with a second look He said
“I freely all forgive
This blood is for your ransom paid
I died that you might live”

Forever etched upon my mind
Is the look of Him who died
The Lamb I crucified
And now my life will sing the praise
Of pure atoning grace
That looked on me and gladly took my place

Thus while His death my sin displays
For all the world to view
Such is the mystery of grace
It seals my pardon too
With pleasing grief and mournful joy
My spirit now is filled
That I should such a life destroy
Yet live by Him I killed

From the Songs for the Cross-Centered Life album

Listen here

There are times in life when it feels like you just can't please anybody, but you muddle along doing the best you can. At least try and take care of the things you think are important. But sometimes even that is not enough. I cannot count how many times I feel like I let my Savior down. And yet His grace is perfect, it is complete, and from the cross He saw every one of my failures, even my failures to follow Him, and yet His cry "It is finished" states how complete His sacrifice is.
Verse for today:
Proverbs 5 : 15-19a, ESV
Drink water from your own cistern,
flowing water from your own well.
Should your springs be scattered abroad,
streams of water in the streets?
Let them be for yourself alone,
and not for strangers with you.
Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
a lovely deer, a graceful doe.

Musical Monday

Today's selection has come to me as a result of me being reminded just how gracious my Lord has been to me. Despite my sin. Despite my seemingly constant struggle (often with the same sins) over and over, God has shown incredible patience, mercy, kindness, and grace towards me. I don't think I can ever grow tired of marveling at His mercy and kindness.

Haven't You Been Good
By Steve Earl
This song is from the I Stand In Awe album.

Lyrics

Thank You for the cross
Thank You, Lord, for drawing me
Out of millions lost
Thank You, Lord, for saving me
Haven’t You been good?
Haven’t You been so good?

Glory to Your name
Glory to Your holy name
Thankfulness and praise
For grace and mercy never changing
Haven’t You been good
Haven’t You been so good to me?

Favor on my life
Always watching over me
My darkness turned to light
And heaven’s arms enfolding me
Haven't You been good?
Haven't You been so good?

© 1998 Sovereign Grace Worship (ASCAP).
Click here for a sample

Sovereign Grace Ministries (SGM) has been a consistent source of grace to me. Recently I was approached to join a group called "SGM Survivors" by a member of the forum (discussion board). After reviewing their forum, and several posts there, I have decided I am not really in agreement with most of those who post there. I cannot (nor will I try to) vouch for all of SGM. I do not know either the people who have experienced such wrongs, nor those who have 'allegedly' (to borrow a news term) inflicted such abuses. I do know that no church is perfect - and that includes the group of churches affiliated through SGM, but I do know that this family of churches have been a consistent source of God's grace in my life. I will not cease my endorsement or encouragement of those (few) who seek my advice.

No one church is perfect for everyone. No one church has a perfect understanding of God. No single, or group of, man is perfect and above the occasional sin. But when someone can produce such songs and preaching as I have experienced there - they will have my attention. As such, even there my mind is tempered by what I read in scripture, and the realization that I am still talking to/with/about a human being.

Without the cross all our works is like dust. It is for naught. But because God condescended to humble Himself and reveal Himself to me, and not only reveal Himself but to restore my relationship with Him, I can call Him Lord and Savior.
Verse for today:
Zechariah 7 : 8-10, ESV
And the word of the Lord came to Zechariah, saying, “Thus says the Lord of hosts, Render true judgments, show kindness and mercy to one another, do not oppress the widow, the fatherless, the sojourner, or the poor, and let none of you devise evil against another in your heart.”

Musical Monday

Have you ever heard a worship song that just struck home? A song that hits that cord and you cannot help but feel it touch something deep within your heart, within your soul? The song I would like to share for today is one such song in my life. I remember being drawn to my knees, I remember God giving me a mercifully brief glimpse into my own heart and past, and then at the same time pulling me into a place where I have seen how merciful and gracious He has been to me. I remember tears welling up in my eyes as I would listen and sing.

Haven't You Been Good
By Steve Earl

These lyrics accompany the song Haven't You Been Good from the I Stand In Awe album.

Thank You for the cross
Thank You, Lord, for drawing me
Out of millions lost
Thank You, Lord, for saving me
Haven’t You been good?
Haven’t You been so good?

Glory to Your name
Glory to Your holy name
Thankfulness and praise
For grace and mercy never changing
Haven’t You been good
Haven’t You been so good to me?

Favor on my life
Always watching over me
My darkness turned to light
And heaven’s arms enfolding me
Haven't You been good?
Haven't You been so good?

© 1998 Sovereign Grace Worship (ASCAP).

This morning, as I was getting ready to type this blog up it occurred to me. What about the copyright and intellectually property rights to these songs I post and write about most Mondays? I am researching the details so... some changes might be made here in the next day or two, or coming weeks. I won't stop posting about the songs God has used in my life, but the format may change. :-)
Verse for today:
Isaiah 1 : 18, ESV
“Come now, let us reason [3] together, says the Lord:
though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red like crimson,
they shall become like wool.

Musical Monday

Easter influenced my song choice this week. :-) I remember hearing this song for the first time back when I used to go to Covenant Life Church. Sovereign Grace Ministries has inspired, recorded, and publish many a great song to worship our Lord and Savior by. Bob Kauflin also has a wonderful blog dedicated to worship in the local church (I encourage those who love to sing to check it out - Worship Matters). I know music is highly subjective, and there are a wide range of preferences when it comes to worship within the body of Christ, but I really feel (and believe) that these men have a heart for God rarely encountered.

This song speaks mostly about about Black Friday, and all that Christ accomplished on the cross. I also want to acknowledge that without His resurrection on Eastern morning it is unlikely we could feel the impact of that accomplishment as deeply almost twenty centuries later.

I Come by the Blood
Words and music by Steve and Vikki Cook
As recorded on Songs for the Cross Centered Life

You are the perfect and righteous God
Whose presence bears no sin
You bid me come to Your holy place
How can I enter in
When Your presence bears no sin?
Through Him, who poured out His life for me
The atoning Lamb of God
Through Him, and His work alone
I boldly come

I come by the blood, I come by the cross
Where Your mercy flows
From hands pierced for me
For I dare not stand on my righteousness
My every hope rests on what Christ has done
And I come by the blood

You are the high and exalted King
The One the angels fear
So far above me in every way
Lord, how can I draw near
To the One the angels fear?
Through Him who laid down His life for me
And ascended to Your side
Through Him, through Jesus alone
I boldly come

© 1994 Sovereign Grace Worship (ASCAP)/Word Music

Most of who I am as a Christian I owe to that group of churches known as Sovereign Grace Ministries. They are not perfect, nor do they claim perfection or some superior insight of God. But through their humility, and the personal examples of their leaders, I have been deeply impacted and affected. Scripture shows that leaders, especially leaders within the church (aka the Body of Christ) are held responsible for those in their charge (not responsibility for their salvation, but responsibility for how they led them). For my short stay within their "sphere" - I have been greatly changed, and I am still greatly affected, so in turn - those who stumble across these meager words are also affected. But ultimately it is not the leaders of Sovereign Grace Ministries who deserve the credit. It is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who all praise, and glory, and honor belong. Because without Him we are nothing, we could not call the Father our God. We would have no object of worship. So to Him be honor and glory, forever and ever. Amen.
Verse for today:
Revelation 5 : 11-14, ESV
Then I looked, and I heard around the throne and the living creatures and the elders the voice of many angels, numbering myriads of myriads and thousands of thousands, saying with a loud voice, “Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing!” And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying, “To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!” And the four living creatures said, “Amen!” and the elders fell down and worshiped.