Warm ramblings of a festive kind

What a year... i still have a few blog posts in me before i flip the calendar, but... it has been a long crazy year for me.  Someone... other than me, because i will either forget to do it, or lose the piece of paper, write down where you are, what you are doing, and where you think the year will go... then, around Christmas time... pull it back and and see how much is the same and how close you are.  Speaking of which, i knew the Panthers weren't going to go to the playoffs next season, i knew that Julius Peppers would be gone, but i never dreamed i would be rooting for them to LOSE their next two games!  I never thought they would be 2-12 at this point.  Denver and Cincinnati are still their closest contenders for the #1 overall draft pick in April, but the Steelers (who the Panthers play on Thursday night) need to lock up their division, and they are probably still smarting from their loss last weekend... so that will mean the Panthers will get to pay.  Now, New Orleans is still pretty close to snatching the Division from the Atlanta Falcons so the Monday night game on the 29th should be pretty good.  I have to say that i am rooting for the Saints in this one because if the Falcons lose on Monday night, they will play HARD in the final game on the 2nd and take it out on the Panthers... again.  Now, no one knows what the future holds in regards to the NFL or next years draft... but... i am catching Luck fever (Andrew Luck out of Stanford)...  this season is shot... but i can dream of a brighter season next year.  GO PANTHERS!  At least my teams in Blood Bowl continue to win... usually.

Speaking of Christmas time... some people prefer the more politically correct term, Winter Festival.  Well, over at MouseHunt on Facebook, they are having a pretty extensive Winter Festival event.  It has been a blast.  A lot of new event mice (two of which are pictured here), as well as new treasures that can be used to collect and/or obtain a new trap.  The developers of this game have made it a very enjoyable game to play over time, and i am looking forward to continue my march towards Zugzwang's Tower.  One of my favorite things in this years "Festival event" has been the Scrooge Mouse and his three companions... the Mice of Winter Past, Present and Future.  A Christmas Carol - the one with Patrick Stewart - is my all time favorite Christmas movie.

I have no idea on how to bridge from A Christmas Carol to the movie TRON: Legacy, but here i go anyway.  This past week Disney released a long anticipated sequel from their (depending on who you listen to) flop of 1982 titled, you guessed it - TRON.  However, that rough first edition into a world within a computer has spawned a very loyal following.  One of them being me.  I was careful to reign in my anticipation while watching and reading news tidbits leading up to last Friday.  When i finally had the opportunity to get to the theater and see it this past Sunday i did indeed love it.  The story line was somewhat predictable and the acting was not great, but it was better than a lot of science fiction movies have been in the past.  What i loved the most was the concept, and the visuals of the movie over all.  I enjoyed the 3d as it was not over the top, but was present in most shots.  It also didn't go out of the way to throw things "at" the audience.  I would really like to go and see it in the theater at least once more, and really want it when it comes out on Blu-Ray next year.  8)  Movies like TRON and The Matrix just really fascinate me.  One thing i was not over all pleased with with the overt Buddhist references.  But that is the Christian part of me.  I am a big proponent of "balance in all things", but only when it comes to life in general.  In regards to good and evil, there is no doubt - good must (and will) win out over all.  Christ is first and foremost, while i work hard to balance my life, when it comes to the things of God and His Son... there can be but one "balance"... Christ full on, no room for anything else.  "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." (John 1:5 ESV)  One thing this movie did get me to thing about was preconceived notions.  Most of the reviews that gave the movie a less than stellar review seem to stem from the movie not living up to the hype.  It seems that the more eagerly hyped the movie, the more it fails to live up to the expectations.  There are few critics out there that i really trust to give an actual unbiased review.  For many years i have worked hard to get myself to think in a completely neutral way - to set aside any bias i might have.  I am not perfect in this, but i do feel it helps me see things more clearly.  It helps me step away from something, look at it from various angles, and appreciate something for what it is.  It also helps me better evaluate something through "God lenses"... not that i am God because i am NOT, but for me to put on what God has revealed to me so far in my life, and then size up whatever i am looking at by what He has revealed to me.  For example, i can appreciate the graphics and enjoy the story line better because i have not prejudged what it should be, and then also ensure i am not being led astray down a path that may lead away from God and what He has for me.

As i am spinning back up to begin writing some short stories again, and along the lines of thinking about sin, etc. i was reminded of one of the things that draws me to the Eldar within Games Workshops universe.  It is a theme that actually runs through each of the genres (fantasy/science fiction).  The Elves within the GW genres have essentially taken a logical path for a race that lives for thousands of years.  The Elves allowed themselves to explore each of the various aspects of life to extremes.  Meditation, art, love, etc., are all explored in minutia.   The depths of depravity within the human heart are incredible, now imagine a sentient race that lives ten to twenty times as long (at least) as that of a human being.  The explorations of the things of depravity have led to schisms within the race, led to civil wars, etc.  So, while elves are generally viewed as being graceful and generally good if not indifferent, they are also capable of exploring the depths of depravity... which i do not even want to think about how far down that road one could go... i am pretty sure this is why our sin has effected death and limited the number of our days in the real world.  While i admire the mythical stories and history of pretty much all things elvish, this is one area that truly brings a revulsion.  Not because it is in the background material, but because i can see that in my own heart. I am somewhat appreciative of the lengths that those who have not fallen into darkness to pursue the evil veins of exploration.  It is interesting to me on how they steel themselves and use a firm mentor/student type of relationship within their society to help keep such passions in check.  Here, on Earth (in real life), we have the Holy Spirit to help guide and mentor us. This Christmas i am grateful for a God that took the time to reach out to me.  A God who wants to mentor me, who wants to help me avoid pursuing paths of evil and debauchery, a God who wants to bring me unto Himself and present me with the very best of life.  A life spent with Him for all eternity.

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Friday the 13th - and other unlucky ramblings

I believe i have mentioned this before, but i don't take stock in a whole lot of superstitions. Breaking a mirror, picking up a tails-up penny, a black cat crossing my path, none of that means anything to me. (I wonder if that is why i am a fan of the Carolina Panthers... now that is a BIG Black Cat!) My mother was VERY superstitious. We once made it halfway back to our car when she walked all the way back to the store front and walked back around a pillar because i refused to say "bread and butter". If that was my only rebellion as a child i probably would not have dropped out of High School. For whatever reason though... i've never researched why people don't like Friday the 13th. DS1 has just completed a Social Studies Fair project where he discusses the Knights Templar. There is a train of thought linking the Friday the 13th superstition to them. Something about them being betrayed and killed or some such thing. I also read somewhere that it may be related to Christ being crucified on a Friday, and when you add in the twelve disciples it equals thirteen. Who knows. In any case it is nonsense. Ultimately the only one that controls our 'fate' is God. We liked to think that we do, i mean Science Fiction has many references (No fate but what we make - Sarah Connor), but even then we do not influence outside sources. While we can put our selves in a position to better, we do not control all of the factors - and to say that just because a cat happened to cross your path you are destined for bad luck... you are more likely to put yourself in a bad position because if a defeatist attitude. I have reached where the Author is talking about Thomas J Jackson's time at VMI in the book, Stonewall Jackson: The Man, the Soldier, the Legend. I am eating this book up. Professor Robertson holds nothing back in filling in the details of the various periods of this man's life, blemishes and all. For example he describes on how fearless he was in battle, but how bad of a teacher he was. I am seeing things that help me understand why he did things like keep subordinates in the dark in regards to his intentions. Why he had a hard time making friends. Maybe it's because i am more sensitive to it, but i think it is possible that the man had Asperger's long before it even had a name. What i am admiring most about the man is his incredible dedication to the things of God. He did not rush to join any one denomination, but read the Bible with a completely open mind and then investigated the churches that he came in contact with to see if they were up to what he was reading about. His faith was very dear and important to him and it affected practically everything he did. As i've mentioned before, he was not a perfect man, nor a perfect Christian. But in regards to being a man of faith, in many ways he is one that can be looked up to. I am also enjoying the fact that he entered into the Army upon graduation from West Point as an Artilleryman. This weekend the Panthers host the Atlanta Falcons, and the Panthers are 2 point underdogs in their own house! Well, to be fair, the panthers have been playing very poorly the first six games this year. The last two i have been very happy with their performance. Very few turnovers, and a great ground game, not to mention the defense has been playing very well. They still haven't been able to get very much production out of the passing game, but that might be because they are a little gun shy of the 13 interceptions Jake has tossed this year. Still - i like Carolina's chances this Sunday. Geaux Panthers!

Ramblings one day at a time

Yesterday, after i already posted for the day... i realized that my ramblings can really get scrambled, and often my random ramblings do not really coincide with each other. Then there are days when i am either too busy, or just out of ideas. This made me think... why am i using up three or more blog thoughts in a single day? Instead try and focus on no more than two thoughts per day, and thus save extra ramblings to post another day. 8) Having said that today will most likely be a cacophony of rambling and random thoughts... so please bear with me. Starting tomorrow i will start new entries and save, but not post them. 8) I felt inclined to check on upcoming concert dates of a few artists and i was wondering why they were all so expensive to go sit in person to listen to them perform. Please don't get me wrong. Music is an art and i completely understand the need of such artists to be able to make a living, etc. so i am not complaining the fact that they charge to go see them, or even that they charge as much as they do. I am merely unsatisfied with the fact that i cannot afford to go see them live. But while i was just skimming over Jethro Tull's page i noticed Ian Anderson had an article up on how and why he picked up the flute in the first place. it's a really good read IMO. For those of you that are interested enough to follow a link, here it is: Ian Anderson's 'How to Play the Flute'. Anyone who 'stumbles' on to this little blog can see my affinity for most things samurai. Those who know me a little better (especially those who know me on facebook) know i really like the Flair application! Recently a friend sent me a new piece of flair (seen on the left here). It of course has been added to my collection. A collection that is now over 450 pieces, 67 of which i have created and shared with other facebookers. The application keeps track of how many 'credits' you have (you cannot add more pieces unless you have credits, which are earned by you sharing with others), but i have no need to worry about running out of those - i have almost 3800 points. Sad, i know. 8) Have any of you all heard of Pandora?!? I LOVE this website. You can stream music to your PC/Laptop/web enabled phone, and customize your very own 'radio station'. Once you create a user account you start by entering in a favorite group. Pandora then scans its own database of music and will play songs not just from the one group you entered, but songs from other groups that have similar play styles. Then, as the music plays you can help it fine tune the station even more by a simple click to tell them if you like, or dislike, and particular song. I've created three stations for whatever mood i might be in and am constantly running out of the free time allotted to me per month. 8) I love bonsai trees. I love how the look. I love the care the person who tends to them takes to not only shape and guide the little trees, but the displays they usually come in too. I think it speaks to a personally desire to shape and guide my own life. Something that is pretty impossible to do completely. In many ways i think humanity's desire to create art - in all forms be it music, painting, drawing, writing, etc. - is directly linked to how God made us. He made us in His own image and He created everything. We share in His ability to love, and create, and redeem. I feel that it is only natural for us to reflect such things, albeit in finite ways. 8) Have any of you ever experienced Deja Vu? I have. Both in the past and just now. I was talking with a friend and it struck me. The words being spoken, the postures, etc. Pretty freaky sometimes. I still remember the first time it happened to me. I was eight and i had just sat down to eat a bowl of Cap'n Crunch cereal and i was reading the back of the box. I remember feeling a little weird but recalling it all very, very clearly. It's both pretty cool, and a little creepy. Of course then there is Vuja De ~ the sensation that you have not experienced it ever before. 8) I have a long term place in my heart for the New Orleans Saints. Maybe it comes from a desire to see the underdog prevail. Even before the Carolina Panthers ever played a game i had a soft spot in my heart for this team. For the past few years they have been pretty consistent in playing well. Especially against the Panthers. Now, i will never root for the Saints when they play the Panthers, but when my cats lose to them it does not sting as bad (like when they lose to the Falcons 8( ). When i was down in Louisiana to help in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, i made it a point to visit the Superdome. I've never even been to Charlotte and the Panthers' stadium. Drew Brees has been playing very well, and if the Panthers are not able to make a run for the post season i will be cheering on the Saints. Recently i added a lot of flair (yes i'm back on that subject 8) ). I made sure i had one to represent each NFL franchise, and then i added a bunch of pieces of some favorite comic book characters. One has been Kurt Wagner, aka Nightcrawler. I really related to him as a child. He was different, even among his peers within the X-Men. I liked his swashbuckling style, his background of faith - even though i was not a Christian at the time. While i enjoyed several other 'heroes', Kurt was one of my top. Another one i really liked was the Green Arrow. He is not at all like me - i just always liked the Robin Hood story, and he looked the part. 8) I've especially enjoyed his story line once he made Black Canary an honest woman. Two memories of my childhood come to mind. Probably has to do with the season (Halloween). The first one was one i think i nearly gave my mother a heart attack. She was asleep on the couch on Saturday afternoon and for some reason someone had given me a rubber snake as a toy. Now, i knew about my mother's fear of snakes, but i still coiled that thing up right on her chest with the little rubber head inches from her face! Not a nice thing to do to you mother. LOL Years later she still had shivers, but she smiled and we remembered it with smiles... just not at the time. 8) The other was how i went out of my way to annoy my mother when it came to her superstitions. I would walk under ladders deliberately, pick up any penny i saw on the ground. I would always walk on the other side of posts from her, and if i ever saw a black cat i would deliberately walk in such a way that it would have to cross my path. My all time favorite number is 13, and on and on. I am still like that today. For about the past month i have been running on a treadmill (i.e. going nowhere fast) regarding my writing. Writing is therapeutic to me, and most likely my expression of my desire to create things as related above. I've been scribbling notes like made, and i have several ideas of where i will be going in the near future with each of my various threads, i've just not put fingers to keyboard. I've set pretty reasonable goals to move forward with. 100 words a day, and/or 3,000 words a month with the per day number being a guideline. I've often wondered why is it that i seem to enjoy shows that are destined to not last? I really liked Terminator:The Sarah Connor Chronicles. The storyline was getting really good. Canceled after two seasons. The Unit was a really good show. I didn't necessarily like all of the "home front" story lines (especially where one of the wives was having an affair), but i (of course) really liked the mission side of things. Another Sci-Fi one was Space: Above and Beyond. This one was only on one season. Twenty three episodes, but i enjoyed it a lot. The story line was similar to Starship Troopers (not the movie, the book) in regards to the alien aggressors, but instead of following a "grunt" as the main character it is about a bunch of "flyboys" (and girls, if i can use that in a non-derogatory fashion). The last one i will mention here Max Headroom. This one lasted for two seasons, but that's not completely accurate as there were only ever 13 episodes ever aired (14 including one that did not air at the time). Friends of mine have enjoyed series like Firefly. So far i've not seen it. I am too nervous that i will then put myself on a quest to get all of the shows on DVD like i want to for the four i have listed so far. 8) When i was a kid and had just learned how to ride a two-wheeler i used to imagine i was a World War I fighter pilot. I have no idea why really. Jets were always too fast, and i'd not learned about World War II yet. But there was something about the old era Bi-Planes. I especially liked the Fokker DR1 - the German tri-plane. Even before i knew who Manfred Von Richtofen was. He was never a hero of mine, but i grew interested in reading about his flying career. Just like any legend, it is hard to discern the line between truth and embellishment. Another similar character i liked to read about was Carlos Hathcock. Both of these men became supreme in their military careers in time of war. Heroes and Villains in such cases are more often determined by who wins the war than the true character of such men. Have you ever wondered what you would do it you won the Lottery? Those obscenely huge amounts of money? I think about it from time to time (but you have to play to win, so this may never actually happen). First thing - i would find a way to donate a minimum of 10% of it to my local church and other organizations like Habitat for Humanity and The Dave Thomas Foundation. I would pay off the mortgage to my house right after. Before anyone says anything, the tax deduction is not worth getting $0.15 back on the $1. I would already be in a huge tax bracket from the winnings, and the next year i would be right back to being no where near close enough to one of the lines to make it worth it. My dream from there would be to set aside some of the money for my children to go to college and i would like to take my family on one nice vacation. After all of that, and maybe before the vacation part, i would love to establish what i refer to as 'self sustaining giving accounts'. Accounts that i could draw the interest from to give away to friends in need, or needs that i learn about in my local community. I would love to be able to give like that. Year after year. I say all this with confidence because God has not seen t bless me in such a way - and that's probably a good thing. I am not so sure i'd actually follow through with such noble ideals. Maybe someday i will find out...

Early morning ramblings

Setting the "way back when machine" on circa 1990... i was reminded of my times on the sound crew of my first church this morning. Part of my duties at my current employer is being on-call, and from time to time i am actually called in the middle of the night! Can you imagine! (jk ) This morning was one of those deals. But that is not what this part of today's blog is about. Way back when i was a fairly young Christian the church i attended did not yet have a home of their own and in order to get ready for our services each Sunday a team of volunteers were needed to set-up/take-down all of the sound equipment needed. It was on a month long rotational basis. In order to be completely set up for the worship team to have a last minute rehearsal we met very early (my mind is saying 0500, but it might have been later than that) at a storage location where we had to load up two small box trucks (picture pickup chassis and not a 10-wheeler deal) and cart it to the High School where we met at, and get it all set up by 0800. I LOVED it! Back then i did not own my own car, but two very nice 'sisters' who also served on the crew would come and pick me up. These poor ladies were NOT morning people. Unfortunately for them... i am . I loved climbing up into the ceiling to help install the speakers. I loved running the cable to/from the sound board and the hookups. I loved the team work. I loved the hours. I LOVED the work! This past Sunday "my" Panthers went down again, but i was glad to see that the offense was greatly improved. Even up to the last play of the game. The Defense was unable to stop the Atlanta Falcons on 3rd down. Argh! I am only frustrated in the sense that they are my team and i want to see them win, but in the end it is only a game and i don't care enough to let it ruin my week. I was really happy that John Kasay kicked a 50 yarder. Just incredible that he is still booting them that kind of distance! I am not sure what i am sharing this next little tid bit, but it is sort of related to my previous mention of how i like Elves (can be read HERE). Way back when there was an independent Comic Book titled "Elf Quest". Being an "Elf Lover" and an avid comic book fan back then i was of course drawn to this title. Early on a very small background character was mentioned... Rain the Healer, he met an unfortunate ending but an enduring legacy in my little circle. This guy was not all that big of a character in the storyline. As a matter of fact, i am not sure he is even mentioned anywhere else except for two little panels early in the story. But it is the situation that stuck with us... and struck us funny in a twisted sort of way. He was the groups healer, their medic... and when the fat hit the fire he was the first to drop. Not good. Still to this day, over 30 years later i remember my friends and i joking every time one of our healers took a hit we would repeat the line, "His name was Rain, the Healer... and he was the first to fall!" It is weird what one remembers. I've been thinking about some of my on going temptations. Sins that continue to haunt me for lack of a better word. Every one of my brothers and sisters in Christ is in the same state, although we do not all struggle with the same sins. Some might struggle with pride, others selfishness, maybe it's greed. I bet if you were to meditate over the Ten Commandments you will find something your heart and mind struggles with. For me one is covetousness. I want want my neighbor has... i want the things that the Lord has not allowed me to have. Over the years i have struggled with porn as well. And it is for good reason because "enough, is never enough". In essence i am saying that what God has provided is not enough... that what He does not know what He is doing in my life. Last night my beloved and i watched a show called Hoarders. While i was appaled at the scale of these people's problem i could not say that i would never be like that. Growing up my own home (whenever we stayed in one place long enough) was similar. Even today i go through seasons when i just get the urge to buy things. By God's grace i am usully able to resist buying those things... especially things i and my family do not need. but not always. I had come to think of it as a thorn in my side, similar to Pauls's affliction in 2 Corinthians 12. Apparently i suffer from my own pride as well because it really isn't anything that 'deep'. My own "weaknesses" do not compare with all that Paul went through. By God's grace i am able to resist and grow and learn from temptations, but there are days when i long for when "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." (Revelation 21:4, ESV)

I am thinking 9-7 may be a stretch at this point

For those who may not know by now, i am a fan of the Carolina Panthers. I had grown up a fan of the Washington Redskins, but that was only because both my father and mother where fans. I was never 'fanatical' if you were, so after i got married and learned that the NFL was going to expand the league by two more teams i decided that which ever one was in the NFC, that would be my team. Maybe not a scientific method, but it's the one i went with. So, in 1995 my (new) team finally took the field and nearly won the very first outing losing to the Atlanta Falcons 20-23. Since then i have seen my team make it to the NFC Championship three times, but in all that time my team has never had back to back winning seasons. I have suffered through the 1-15 season and i have had my hopes dashed a few times. Last year all i wanted for Christmas was an NFC South Championship and the Cats delivered! This year all i want for Christmas is a 9-7 season. I know that sounds backwards, but it would be a real nice moment for me to know they could do it. Unfortunately, the injury bug has been biting the Panthers this pre-season and now my dream seems like a long shot. Who know... not many picked the Panthers to win the NASCAR division (in the toughest division of the NFL no less - the NFC South of 2008 set the record for the both the most # of wins and the highest winning percentage of an entire division). Who knows... anything can happen. And the games that matter don't start for another eighteen days ~ at least not for the Panthers. There will be four games i know i will get to see this year:

28-Sept - @ the Dallas Cowboys - Monday night game

11-Oct - hosting the Washington Redskins - i know this is a Sunday game, but the local Fox station plays either the Redskins or some other NFC East division. The Cowboys should move to the NFC South and Carolina should move to the East if you ask me.

19-Nov - hosting the Miami Dolphins on a Thursday night game. I might have to go to a friend's house who has the NFL network though.

20-Dec - hosting the Minnesota Vikings.

This will be the most games that i've ever been able to watch in the regular season so i am pretty excited about that. God knows how well (or not) the Panthers will do this season. In the meantime i am just stoked that the regular season is around the corner. I just want to watch some meaningful football again! Since i am a geek, and my old cell phone is dieing a slow pitiful death (and annoying me as it drops calls, loses memory, and the battery seems to fade if i go out of the area for more than 15 minutes) i decided to replace both my, and my beloved's cell phone. I was unsure of exactly which phone i wanted to get, but then the Samsung Reclaim caught my eye. With some discounts and concessions i was able to pic it up for a good price. But for me the selling point was that i could get it in Ocean (i.e. Carolina) Blue. LOL This Saturday i am going to head out to the Antietam National Battlefield to see a Civil War artillery demonstration. Hopefully there will be some pictures to share next week. I've sent out a Facebook invite to all of my Artillery buddies, and a few of them said they will be there, some are unsure... but it will be nice to do/watch something Artillery again. It will be the first time i will be able to break out my new walking stick. This past week has been a blur, but the other night i believe God may have given me an idea as to how to approach writing the letter to Sovereign Grace Ministries regarding my interest in them (hopefully) doing a church plant in my area. Of course, since then both my personal and professional time has been crazy busy. I've kept the ideas alive in my noggin' and hope to write the letter VERY soon.