Yet more random thoughts

There are times when it seems that i just cannot get my thoughts all worked out. It doesn't help that my mind has difficulty staying focused on any one thing for very long as well. This has been extremely frustrating for me. I struggle to focus when reading my Bible, when trying to pray. In one sense that helps me keep to Matthew 6:7-8 ("And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him." ~ ESV) - LOL it forces me to make sure i get to the point quickly, because if i don't what i am praying for/about has changed at least twice before i've reached "Amen". I joke, but this bothers me. I really do want to be able to stay on task - especially when i am at the feet of my Savior lifting something up in prayer, or trying to read His Word. I have been on medication for the past two months and that does seem to help... but there are times when i get distracted. Odd, i know. Taking medication that is supposed to help me focus and yet... Right now i am listening to my "Blackmore's Night" station on Pandora. Man i love this music source. I discovered this music site through Facebook, and have been hooked pretty much ever since. I currently have several "stations" configured... 'Contemporary Christian', 'Trans Siberian Orchestra' and 'Classic Symphony'. It all depends on the mood i am in while i "tune in" - and it sometimes changes while i am listening... i know, weird right? When i was younger i played a game called Dagorhir (a dark ages/Tolkien world battle re-enactment group). I knew several friends who were into it, and it sort of had deep roots in the area where i was living at the time. While these guys were not Christians at the time (neither was i), they were good guys who really looked out for me and kept me from getting into any real trouble. My game persona was that of a wandering Wood Elf. I never had the money to really get into character, but i wrote out a brief background and did the best i could with what limited resources i did have. I 'fought' with sword and spear and had an uncanny knack for running full tilt across wet logs across creeks, and dodging the 'arrows' (not really as lythe as it might sound... the arrows for this game do not fly all that fast - lol). It was in many ways a formative time of my life. I was heavily involved playing Dungeons and Dragons, playing Dagorhir and things like this. And while i would NOT recommend a similar path for my own sons, let alone other's children, God truly did bring men into my life to help make me into the man i am today through these games. There was a teacher at a middle school who helped run an after school club who was a Christian - and although he never once used the name Christ or Jesus, he lived out his life. The older high school students i played D&D with also had good work ethics and lived some good examples. One of these men i am still friends with - albeit just through Facebook right now - is a talented musician who plays for his church. I wish we were closer. There was also a group that simply called themselves "The Christians". The dressed up like the romanticised crusaders and lived out their beliefs within the context of the game. Although - in hindsight - it may not have been the best portrayal. :) In my opinion the Crusades were by far, not our finest hour. A lot of the foundation in how i see myself as a Christian Samurai were formed then. I'd like to believe that i was as regal and fantastic looking as the wardancer pictured above-right while playing. That is one of the great things about playing make-believe in any of its forms. We can picture the play any way we wish. I still like to fancy myself as an elf... or at least elf-like. In general the lore of Elves and their kin are ones who take great delight in pursuing excellence in whatever they take to study. They look to balance their existence within whatever environment they find themeselves in. I am not trying to say this in some form of mystical, new age sense either. God established Adam and Eve as stewards of the Earth. In the beginning God had said, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so." (Genesis 1:28-30, ESV) Note: This does not say dominate. As stewards we are supposed to be living in the world, not of it, and not destroying it. I am not a zealot when it comes to recycling, etc. but i am of the mind that we should be better stewards than we have been.

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