I am a rambling man

So many things cross my mind that i do not have a single thread to post about... :/ And now there are eight. After the "wildcard" weekend of playoffs for the NFL it has been determined that the Arizona Cardinals will be coming to Charlotte for a rematch of their previous meeting (26-Oct-08). The previous results don't mean anything. Kurt Warner has proven that he's dangerous, and with the apparent resurgence of Edgerrin James the Panthers will have to play heads up football... which should be expected in the playoffs. I am really looking forward to watching the game (Saturday starting at 1930 on Fox). I am not a superstitious person but i was surprised to learn that the Panthers will be wearing their black jerseys for the first time ever in the post season. Traditionally the home teams get to choose which jersey they wear, and the previous two home playoff games in Panthers history were both against the Dallas Cowboys - whose preferred jersey is White. So to spite them, the Panthers opted to wear white and force the Cowboys to wear their blue jerseys. I am getting frustrated with myself. I have had a decent story line idea that i've wanted to get on "paper" for going on a year now. Part of the reason i bought my own laptop last November was so i could sit down and just type whenever the mood struck me. I've not done anything more than transfer over the few files i have (notes, rough outline, etc.). I doubt it would ever get published, but that's not why i write my stories anyway. I've had a friend who i've even bounced character names off of, story arch ideas, etc. What an encouragement... but i have not followed through - and that is what is making me mad at myself. Recently my beloved has encouraged me to get some testing done. Not in a mean way, but she has been gently telling me that she has noticed some "similarities" between DS2 and me. We both think that if i do indeed have Aspergers that i have learned to adapt fairly well over my previous 4+ decades. With the economy as it is, and my career as it is, i have used a myriad of excuses to not get tested... it costs too much... takes too long... The truth of it is - i don't want to be diagnosed with Aspergers, or even ADD. My own pride has hindered me from pursuing such things... and yet i see signs on my own. I often have read several pages of a book, especially technical type and ones i've already read before (like the Bible) only to realize that i can't remember the last four pages because my mind has wandered. Same thing at work... i will be working on some problem, get interrupted, and then either forget what i was working on... or move on to some other thing altogether. My beloved has said that i could probably just go to our primary care doctor and see what he says at the very least... a plan of action to move on... and yet... i don't want to... I have taken measurements for my future "man cave". Over all it is going to be about 10' x 20'. It will have book shelves, a 1/2 bath, my own desk, and hopefully a hookup for satellite TV. :) Fortunately it will NOT be something out of "The Man channel" or something. And my beloved will be allowed to come and go as she pleases. It is only intended for me to have a space to decorate and have my own quiet corner in the house. But this project will be slow in moving forward. Probably years even, so... Well, that's it for today... God bless

1 comment:

Ms. Coffee said...

Man cave - good idea to have a quiet place for yourself. I have always dreamed of having a space with book shelves and a desk and a big comfy chair! Decorated in my crazy style...

Testing - You are a smart man and a lot of time the fear of being told you have something is a scary thought. When I was younger not knowing why I was so nuts was okay because if I knew what was actually wrong - I would have to take steps to fix it. I did but it took time but in the end - I was glad I did.

Writing - I think a lot of people have a fear of failure and that gives us enough of a reason to find excuses for why we don't do the things we love! Even if this is never published other than one bound copy for yourself - in the end it would be worth it - it would be an accomplishment and I think as you break through that fear factor - you are going to excel! You are a great writer and I look forward to seeing the story as it progresses!

Football - "GO PANTHERS!" What more can I say?!