Oddly at peace

The waves are rolling. Last night I was accused of undermining my own attempts to retire from the National Guard. I don't feel like that was fair. To be sure I want it know that my intentions are to retire. Due to certain things going on I would like to retire - but I also want it known that if my unit tells me it is time to go, that I will go and serve full tilt. There really is no "win" in this situation. But I am oddly at peace. To be sure my emotions and fears well up like waves on the ocean - for the most part I am calm. At least I have got myself believing that. Every night I wake up somewhere between 3 and 4 AM... wide awake. Awake enough to have trouble laying back down. It takes a good 30 to 60 minutes to get settled back down so I can go to sleep again. Verse for today: Psalm 107:28-32, ESV Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad that the waters [3] were quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven. Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! Let them extol him in the congregation of the people, and praise him in the assembly of the elders.