Confession is good for the soul

Or in this case it may be good for my stomach. Right now I am struggling with the sin of fear. I fear what is the unknown. What will the future hold for me? What about my family? Have I been a good father? Am I a good husband? When things are out of your control it is to God we need to look, but I find myself - like Peter - looking at the storm and not my Savior's face. I am fearful that my beloved will get mad at me. My mind knows that He is in total control. God already knows my tomorrow, my next month, my next year. And not just mine, but my family's. There is nothing out of His control or His knowledge. Just like Job and Peter. God allowed the storm to crash upon them - and He brought them through and set them in a place of peace. Job endured his pain and loss. He endured his friends beratement. He even endured his wife's counsel to turn from God and die. He even endured God's chastisement. But in the end Job was restored to health. He is a man I would like to see in Heaven. Peter was called the "Rock"... he was the only disciple to get out of the boat (and sink), he was the one who denied even knowing the Savior and yet was restored into fellowship with Him. I so desperately want to know the end from the beginning. I want my beloved to have faith in me - to have faith in Him. That no matter what takes place He is in control and it all will work together for our good and His glory. Anyway... confession is good for the soul. I confess that I am not trusting in God as I should. I have not led my wife better for these storms. And I fear because I do not trust. Lord I believe - please help me with my unbelief. Verse for today: 1 John 1:5-10, ESV This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.


Susan said...

Praying for you...I know God is there for you in both your "belief" and your "fear"...


:-) Susan

Jim Neff said...

Your post was awesome. I'm struggling with the very same thing right now. I don't think it is a sin to fear. I think the sin is what our next step is. 99 times out of 100 my next step is to find something in this world to make me feel better. I do not turn to God with my complaint (as the psalmist do--which is a good thing), but instead I turn inward and away from God.

I'm trying to get up the courage to start a mens accountability group at our church to help other guys who might be going through this same thing.

I'll try to remember to pray for you about this during the week.