Reaping what one sows

Thirteen years of marriage. I have been married for thirteen years. In that time I have always tried to make my beloved happy. Unfortunately that was not always what was best for her. Similar to how one must discipline a child, sometimes a husband must do things that a wife may not agree with or enjoy. Do not misunderstand me. I am in no way saying I need to discipline my wife! What I am saying is that a parent must do things that a child does not enjoy in the form of discipline - and then there are times when a husband and wife may not agree on something, and the husband must do what he believes what is right before God. Even when the wife does not enjoy that course of action. Well, last night I had to essentially pursue a course of action that my wife does not agree with and that has led to some "intense fellowship" between the two of us. We did not get here over night. In the past I have not planned sufficiently. I have not said 'no' or 'yes' where I may have needed to. I have said or done things to appease my wife (i.e. make her happy) instead of working with her to do things that, while less enjoyable to put it mildly, were needed. In essence I have failed to lead and protect my second most precious gift that the Lord has entrusted to me. As a result I have caused her (and thus myself) pain, and I am now paying the price. Verse for the day: Psalm 31:14-24 esv But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, “You are my God.” My times are in your hand; rescue me from the hand of my enemies and from my persecutors! Make your face shine on your servant; save me in your steadfast love! O Lord, let me not be put to shame, for I call upon you; let the wicked be put to shame; let them go silently to Sheol. Let the lying lips be mute, which speak insolently against the righteous in pride and contempt. Oh, how abundant is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you and worked for those who take refuge in you, in the sight of the children of mankind! In the cover of your presence you hide them from the plots of men; you store them in your shelter from the strife of tongues. Blessed be the Lord, for he has wondrously shown his steadfast love to me when I was in a besieged city. I had said in my alarm, “I am cut off from your sight.” But you heard the voice of my pleas for mercy when I cried to you for help. Love the Lord, all you his saints! The Lord preserves the faithful but abundantly repays the one who acts in pride. Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord!

What's a man to do

I had been planning on surprising my beloved for Valentine's Day. I was going to surprise her on the 10th, but arranging to take the entire day off from work, have someone watch the kids during the afternoon, and while having her do a "treasure hunt" eventually have her come home to a nice dinner and massage. But I have given up on this plan. I am tired of trying to do things like this. I always get frustrated. Reasons for this one: 1) Our schedules are always full of doing something. This time several things have conspired against me. 2) She watches two kids on Fridays for some friends who are expecting their third child in August. Well the poor woman is sick to the point of being unable to function very well for very long. 3) I have been given some grief by one set of friends whom I ask to help with this. They felt the duration was too long to be a reasonable request (about 6-8 hours). 4) The church is doing somekind of outing for the kids that night and she is insistant that I take the kids. When I say insistant she is not telling me that I need to take the boys, but she repeatedly 'encourages' me to take them dispite my feeling to the contrary over a long period of time. It is getting harder and harder for me to try and romance my wife unless she has an active say in when and where. There is little room for my creativity or spontenaity. It's ok for her to spring $%#* on me, but when I try and do it - it is an inconvienience. What makes all of this worse is I know I am sinning in my attitude. I am being selfish and not dying to myself. I am not loving her as myself. All of this just has me getting more and more moody. I am caring less and less about trying to do anything special for v-day. And many, many other thoughts. Verse for today: Psalm 146:3-4 esv Put not your trust in princes, in a son of man, in whom there is no salvation. When his breath departs he returns to the earth; on that very day his plans perish.

An empty canvass

Well, I can't seem to come up an overall theme today. Too many thoughts swirling around the old head I guess. May the Lord watch over and keep you all. :) And thank you for reading... Verse for today: Psalm 27:1-6 esv The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? When evildoers assail me to eat up my flesh, my adversaries and foes, it is they who stumble and fall. Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, yet I will be confident. One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple. For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock. And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me, and I will offer in his tent sacrifices with shouts of joy; I will sing and make melody to the Lord.

When the Cat is Away, the Mice will play

Well my manager took his son to the Car show in Washington D.C. today so I have been left in charge. But that is not really the reason for my blog today. I don't really get to 'play' as much when the boss takes a day off. It's actually more work for me. The actual purpose of my blog today is to post a testimony to God's faithfulness in providing me a job where I am today. Actually my whole career is a testimony so I will give an abreviated Reader's Digest version up to where I met my current supervisor and go then expand as I feel led. I got into IT quiet by accident. I was delivering pizzas to make money until I could get enrolled in college when a friend of my wife (who was also a bride's maid at our wedding) told me of a job opening where she worked. The 'qualifications' were pretty minimal - 'can you use a mouse?' 'Give me some examples of troubleshooting.' etc. Although I was not their first choice God still provided and a second position opened up and I was hired. They tought me everything. Even sending me to out of town schools. Well, as my wife and I decided we were going to go ahead and have children I started evening classes to learn Novel - which is funny since I have onoy used it sparingly in the 10+ years since I took those classes. I traveled 50+ miles one way, twice a week, but it paid off because when I interviewed with my current employer it helped me get the job. And then I did all of my current learning OJT - well, at least until funds starting drying up. But my employer sent me to schools, and the upper level engineers were so easy to work with and accessable (back then they were) I just picked things up as I went along. Well, 9/11 happened and eventually my National Guard unit was called up to active duty in the Spring of 2002. By God's grace I was only 50 miles from home (although I was not allowed to live at home, I could get home once or twice a month for a few days at a time) and I transitioned back into being a full time civilian in April of 2003. Unfortunately upon my return I found out that my employer had been through not 1 or 2, but 3 rounds of lay-offs! Although my job was secure (probably because of my NG status) I learned that my position had been moved to the 3-11 PM shift. I had just spent over a year away form my children (one of whom was only 4 months old when I left) and now I was going to have to be away from them Monday through Friday! I was not happy, but I was met with indeifference. I was given 30 days to find another position until I was forced onto my new schedule. In steps God... I am striking out in trying to find another job. I've even expanded it to looking in other states, etc. nothing. One day I am having issues with new software that is being installed on my work laptop computer. The PC tech is in my cube working on it when my future boss comes up. He's just been rehired after being layed off for a few months and needs his old laptop brought up to date. While the tech is going over our machines we get to talking. It turns out he is being assigned to a new contract that will be doing the same thing for the same people I used to work for! He is very interested in bringing me on board. Only one hitch... I end up having to take a 2 paygrade reduction in may - a net loss of 10% of my previous income. More if I was to take into account the shift differential I would have made. When I approached my previous manager with the notification of this transfer they just couldn't get it. Why did I want to take such a step backwards?!? But God has used it mightily. I know work less than 10 miles from home. We now have a nice single family home, near many of our friends (especially my wife's friends from college), we are deeply involved in the church (children's ministry, small group leaders, MOPS, and an outreach to families of deployed military members) and such contentment I never expected. Despite having some financial concerns right now, I am confident I am right where God has me and my family. So, I give thanks to God for my career because if I was to try and do this on my own I'd not be anywhere near where I am today. By God's grace and provision I am able to provide for a family of 5 and allow my beloved to stay at home to take care of our little blessings. I have left so much out, but if I were to detail all that God has done and how He has moved in this area you all would be reading for hours. Thank you for reading this far. My verse for today... 1 Timothy 6:11-21 esv But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses. I charge you in the presence of God, who gives life to all things, and of Christ Jesus, who in his testimony before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, to keep the commandment unstained and free from reproach until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, which he will display at the proper time—he who is the blessed and only Sovereign, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone has immortality, who dwells in unapproachable light, whom no one has ever seen or can see. To him be honor and eternal dominion. Amen. As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life. O Timothy, guard the deposit entrusted to you. Avoid the irreverent babble and contradictions of what is falsely called “knowledge,” for by professing it some have swerved from the faith.

The Dawn of a New Day

I would like to say thank you for all who prayed for me and my family yesterday - and anytime in the past for that matter. Yesterday was a long day. Not difficult but long. What made it long was having to get the kids out of school early, get the kids all dressed up (and anyone who has children will know what a joy that can be), drive 90+ minutes to my Uncles house, then go to the funeral home for about 2 hours of a meet and greet, back to the Uncle's house for a couple more hours of family time, and then back home around midnight last night. The kids were great. No real problems with them getting rambunctious or out of hand. It was good to see some family from out of town, but getting up this morning for work. Ugh! I am worried about my Uncle though. He absolutely adored my Aunt and this has just devistated him. He was a very powerful man (and I don't want to elaborate) but to give an idea, the chapel held over 200 people and it was standing room only, and yet he feels totally alone. So far he does not want to even think about the mundane things of his life. And I can fully appreciate those thoughts. I cannot imagine what it would be like for me to lose my beloved. I believe he will be going to stay with his sons for a few days, but I am not sure. I think it might be good for him to get away from his house for a little while. Another Aunt of mine has offered to come back in a few weeks to help him go through the house etc. I have also offered him a place to stay if he needs it. I am just concerned about him. Right now he does not know the Lord Jesus as his savior, but I know he is asking some questions. My Uncle and his daughter (my cousin of course) are saved. But the rest of the family... not so much. While I'm thinking about it... The Reverend who ministered the memorial service seemed to skate around the eternity issue. Instead spoke of someone who was never critical of another (apparently there was some things this person did not know ;~) ). I know when we die we hope that people will remember us for the good things we do and say, and not the bad, but there just felt to be a falseness to the words coming from the pulpit. I have thought about when I die. I think I would like something akin toa New Orleans funeral. I know full well people will mourn, it is what we do. But I also want those to know me, and especually those whom I would call my "brothers" and "sisters" in Christ to rejoice. Throw a joyous celebration to celebrate the end to my eartly "sufferings" that I no longer have to look upon my Savior's face dimly, but in His full glory. And that it will be but a moment longer until I can rejoice around His throne with them once again. Some verses, though, did speak to me. I am going to post this Blog entry for now... but as the Lord leads I am going to 'attach' them below... My verse for today: God is our refuge and strength,a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High. God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns. The nations rage, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts. The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah Come, behold the works of the Lord, how he has brought desolations on the earth. He makes wars cease to the end of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the chariots with fire. “Be still, and know that I am God.I will be exalted among the nations,I will be exalted in the earth!” The Lord of hosts is with us;the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah Psalm 46 esv

The End of things as we know it

This will be a very brief entry today. My Aunt (mother's sister) passed away last Thursday. Although death is never a total surprise it is still shocking when it happens. We will be taking our children to their first memorial service today. No verse, or deeper thoughts for now. But it does make you think eternity and all things truly important.

The Day After

Today I do not have a central theme to my post so it will be a collection of 'random' thougts. Carolina Panthers: First I would like to say that last nights (American) football game was painful to watch. The Seattle Seahawks completely dominated the Carolina Panthers. Jake Delhomme threw 2 interceptions in the first quarter which led to 10 points and a 0-17 lead for the Seahawks. With no real running game threat, and only one "go to" receiver it was pretty much a matter of playing out the rest of the game at that point. The final score was 14-34. Since I am not an NFL owner, general manager, let alone Coach (I have not coached American football at any level), nor have I ever played in anything other than a backyard game of football, it is my opinion that if Carolina can get another good receiver - or bring along some of the potentials in their own ranks, it would go a long way in helping this team go just as far next year. A durable running back would also do wonders. But overall I really cannot complain. There were 28 other NFL teams sitting home yesterday, they went deeper in the playoffs than the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (a division rival), they went deeper than the Jacksonville Jaguars (their expansion rival), and this was only the fourth non-losing season the Panthers have ever had. Overall a fun season for a fan. Financial Fears: Since moving to where I now live it has become apparent that I allowed myself to buy a home slight beyond what would be considered fiscally responsible. We have lived here for just under 2 years and since then we have slowly been bleeding any sort of savings that we've had. With several birthdays and my anniversary all within the last 3 months we have been hot preety hard. So much so that I had to make another withdraw from what I consider to be an 'emergency' fund. With the monthly outgo consitantly out distancing the income, I may not be able to retire from the National Guard this year as I'd hoped. I am in faith that God has me exactly where He wants me to be - and I am trying to keep my eyes open to what God would have me do. Communication Issues: Why is it that after 13 years of marriage I am still having a hard time telling my wife what is on my mind? Last night after watching a movie which we both liked (Wedding Crashers) she was telling me that she liked to hear me laugh. She then told me that she thought it would be good for me to laugh like that around my brother. There is a lot more to this story, but I do not wish to expound upon that here right now. But I do not have a lot in common with my brother right now, and he has a way of rattling on insesantly about things that basically drone my mind out. So much so that I litterally have a hard time reciting afterwards - despite my efforts thus far. Anyway, this turned into me feeling like I had to justify myself. I was flabbergasted when she asked for details and I could not come up with any. Then this morning I wanted to share with her about needing her help for something I could not bring myself to say it on the phone. It seems like the only way I can communicate with her in any detail is via written letters, and then they are received like, "not this again" - or, "haven't we already gone over this", or, "I thought we solved this". National Guard: This month I am to be promoted to Sergeant First Class, and yet I am not excited. It is a 'natural' progression in a military career and yet I find no joy in it. I want to be promoted. I feel that I can be a good platoon sergeant, but all I can think of is trying to retire this year as I will reach my 20th anniversary of joining the National Guard. In those 20 years I have been a career Guardsman. That is I have never been active Army (although I have served 1 year on active duty when we were called up after 9/11). In my time with the National Guard I have been a Military Policeman (5.5 years), and Infantryman (7.5) years, and I am currently an Artilleryman (almost 7 years now). My proudest time was as an Infantry Squad leader. My dreariest time was an MP. I have nothing against the MP Corp. It is just not my 'cup of tea'. I love being hard pressed physically and mentally as a 'grunt'. I loved having to find my way with nothing but a map and (sometimes) a compass. I loved having to overcome obsticals to achieve military objectives. I think that's why I like the game Necromunda. It is a game of combat at roughly an infantry squad level in a severe urban environment. Although I don't maintain a "love me" wall, I do have a drawer full of trinkets that only has meaning to me. But those days are now behind me. I long to be home with my family on weekends. I am tired of missing birthdays of friends and family (especially my own kids), tired of missing out on fun trips, etc. I feel spent in my willingness to serve my country. I just want to move on. I was going to do a paragraph on 'Intimate Issues', but I am not yet ready to blog those thoughts. Who knows, maybe in a few days, or weeks in the future. To those still reading - thanks. :) Todays verse: When you sit down to eat with a ruler,observe carefully what is before you, and put a knife to your throat if you are given to appetite. Do not desire his delicacies, for they are deceptive food. Do not toil to acquire wealth; be discerning enough to desist. When your eyes light on it, it is gone, for suddenly it sprouts wings, flying like an eagle toward heaven. Do not eat the bread of a man who is stingy; do not desire his delicacies, for he is like one who is inwardly calculating. “Eat and drink!” he says to you, but his heart is not with you. You will vomit up the morsels that you have eaten, and waste your pleasant words. Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, for he will despise the good sense of your words. Proverbs 23:1-9 ESV

Why I am 'samurai'

When most people think about a samurai the first thing that comes to mind is their martial prowess and how they were dedicated to war and the practice there of. But for me this is not what keeps me immersed in the image that is the samurai. To be honest when I first became interested in the samurai it was indeed their images of being fantastic warriors. Men that, supposedly, who’s sole purpose were to live to make war, and do it well. I was fairly young, in the military for a short time, and ripe with fantasies born from my role-playing and war gamming back ground. Although I didn’t know it at the time God was slowly drawing me out of that subculture and closer to Him. (And that is another long story to be posted sometime in the future.) As I matured I sought to get to know more about these men, their customs, culture, what they believed, etc. Remember this is over a period of time… Well as my heart turned more and more towards God my interests continued in the samurai, even solidified so to speak. When I finally gave my life to Christ in August of 1989 I remember praying to the Lord, “Lord I devote myself to You as the samurai of old devoted themselves to their earthly lords”. Little did I fully comprehend the depth of that statement, or how seriously the samurai actually devoted themselves to their task. One book that I found very insightful was “A Book of 5 Rings” written by Miyamoto Musashi in the early 1600’s. This book helped me see that the samurai were not all about combat, but that they sought to “perfect” their outlook on life as a whole. To appreciate all things about life and not dwell solely on their vocation (that of a soldier). There is a section by the translator that talks about the times in which Musashi lived - about the massacres of countless Christians. A little known fact: More Christians were killed by the Tokugawa edict and resulting persecution than all the Christians killed by the Roman Empire! Reading that, and the influence of my new faith endeared me to these Christian samurai and it has been sort of a part time hobby of mine to learn more about them as well – a task not easily accomplished and continues to be a difficult and slow process for me. To a real extent the samurai’s devotion to their lords, their philosophy of enjoying life to the fullest, in seeking out the best in themselves in all they do, has been a governing theme in my own life as well. I continually seek to give my whole life to my Lord – Jesus Christ. To be willing to live my whole life for Him, to be willing to die to myself and my desires in order to conform to His will and desires, to seek to do everything I do to the best of my ability – just like we should for the Lord Jesus Christ. ” Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” (Colossians 3:23-24 esv) I am fortunate to serve a Lord who’s grace and mercy is limitless. If it where not for Christ – this samurai would have had to commit seppuku long ago, and probably more than once. So I guess that is an overview of me. My main source of influence is the Bible, and when the things of the samurai contradict Christ and His teachings – such as their leanings towards Confusianism and Zen – I conform to the Bible. So when people see my ‘handle’, and hear tidbits of my thoughts on this I don’t think they fully understand what it means to me to be a samurai in the service of the Lord. But for me it is an honor to be counted among those who proclaim Christ as Lord. Today’s verse: And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. --- Ephesians 2:1-10

Alone in the Dark

Well yesterday I lost power at my home for about 13 hours. It was an interesting experience since the last time I remember personally being impacted by a power outage for any length of time was back in the 70's when I lived in Brooklyn, NY. I think too often we American's feel put out when things like this happen. Like things like this should never happen. It's probably just an over reaction on my part about other people's reaction. Now, I live in a climate where I have hours to react to such things, and I do not have any vital utilities that require contant power, so I can me more lax in my response to such things. For me it was just a matter of making sure all of the surge protectors were turned off, and the thermostates turned down to prevent the 'emergency' heat from kicking on, and moving the groceries from our refridgerator to the garage to keep cold. Other than having to wait until this morning to restart the dishwasher and the washer this morning it was an interesting change of pace. The family spent the night at a friends house while I tended the fireplace at home and took care of the things I mentioned above (as well as a few other things). Once I got everything situated, and i knew the family was secure and settled for the night I was able to do some sudoku puzzles and a little thinking done. It's rare that I get that much time and quiet to myself. I was supposed to have an evening to myself, but with everything going on with the power situation I ended up having to wait until much later. And then everytime I got a chill I had to throw another log on the fire, and after the power restored at around 2:30 this morning I also made rounds around the house to slowly bring the temperature back up to our norm. Life is back to normal - what ever that is. :) Verse for the day: There is none like you among the gods, O Lord,nor are there any works like yours. All the nations you have made shall comeand worship before you, O Lord,and shall glorify your name. For you are great and do wondrous things;you alone are God. Teach me your way, O Lord,that I may walk in your truth;unite my heart to fear your name. I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart,and I will glorify your name forever. For great is your steadfast love toward me;you have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol. - Psalm 86:8-13 esv

Ramblings of a roaming mind

Well, I wanted to write something but my mind went totally blank. With dealing with the change I was making yesterday that is not working likes it's supposed to (looks like a hardware issue), story ideas, to the reading of a few e-mails it's totally lost. Whatever it was that I was going to post is just gone. Oh well. It must not have been all that important then. :) So, on to my thoughts for the day...actually, they are not my thoughts - but God's thoughts: Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire;he breaks out against all sound judgment. A fool takes no pleasure in understanding,but only in expressing his opinion. When wickedness comes, contempt comes also,and with dishonor comes disgrace. A fool's lips walk into a fight,and his mouth invites a beating. A fool's mouth is his ruin,and his lips are a snare to his soul. The name of the Lord is a strong tower;the righteous man runs into it and is safe. If one gives an answer before he hears,it is his folly and shame. Death and life are in the power of the tongue,and those who love it will eat its fruits. He who finds a wife finds a good thingand obtains favor from the Lord. A man of many companions may come to ruin,but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:1-3, 6-7, 10, 13, 21-22, 24 (esv)

Morning comes too early

Good day to you all. Last night, as I was falling asleep a 11:30, I remembered a commitment I had at work this morning...for 5:00 AM. Ugh. When the alarm went off I was hurting - and I still am. I had to go into work to make some changes on the network to help prioritize data flow across a small portion of the customer's network. It's the way of the future. With voice, data, video, internal, external and all kinds of other information being put across data networks (both private and public) and resources being pushed to limits to contain costs the day of just plug and play networks for corporate America is most likely dying a slow death. With the my mind being as cloudy as it is this Blog will be mostly a jumble of thoughts, but it will be good to clear my head. Carolina Panthers 29 - Chicago Bears 21 Man that was an exciting game to watch. It was especially fun to watch with my Army buddy Jim. We are not 'tight', but there are times when it really feals like God has brought us together for me to witness to him. He knows my faith and we've had some light hearted (and too short) talks. But I hope my witness to him has been how I've lived my life. If any who read this think of it, and the Holy Spirit moves in your heart for this man, please pray for him. He's a 'good' guy, but he is lost in light of eternity right now. --- oh, and before I forget. Before the game I did indeed go on-line and bought him the flag we had wagered. If nothing else I hope it is a memory trigger of something more than just me. "Hive's Deep" Well for lack of a better title so far this is what my latest sci-fi yarn is called. Right now all it is a list of "players" and a partial outline. Up until now only a few people know just how ambitious this project really is. My end goal is about 250 pages of a softback. I have no idea how many words this is, etc. (nor do I want to know - otherwise I will get discouraged) and since I have never had anything of this sort published before I have no delusions of grandiuer here. This project is more for me - sort of like this blog - than for the world at large. Thanks to all who have encouraged me thus far. My 'samurai handle' I had wanted to post something about my whole samurai theme (both here and elsewhere) but my mind is really cloudy and I will not do it the justice I truly want - so that will have to wait for another day. Ok, before this turns into a novel in its own right I am going to just publish what I have for today. May the Lord watch over and keep you all in His precious and perfect hands this day. My verse for today: Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. - Romans 8:26-27 esv

Survival Insticts?

I was trying to avoid posting about today's topic for some reason. Fear of being thought weird maybe. But since it is mostly for me, and only a handful of others actually read this... what do I have to lose? Besides, God already knows my heart and mind more fully than I can even imagine. So here I go... While thinking about what I could enter in my Blog today I thought about my preference for movies and even my favorite gaming hobbies. I seem to have an interest in apocalyptic, or at least severly damaged urban environments. I'm not sure when, maybe it was when the movie Terminator was released. I remember going to see that movie in the theaters at least a half dozen times. One time walking about six miles from my house with all my friends to see it. I like movies like Terminator, Terminator 3 (T-2 just was not that good IMO), Escape from New York, The Time Machine, the Matrix movies, the Left Behind series of movies, and The Postman (my personal favorite of those mentioned). And my favorite hobbies are Battletech and Necromunda. Both are tabletop miniature wargames that are placed in a far future where warfare and destruction are rampant. Necromunda especially. It is placed on a planet where for many many thousands of years industry has turned the enviroment into a toxic soup, and the cities are described as hives. Tens of miles across at their bases extending for as much as 10 miles into the air. Not really sure why I decided to blog about this. But there is something about the frivalities of life (at least what we experience in the U.S.) being stripped away. Where the really important things come to the fore, and life is more about survival then about gaining possessions. I don't know. Maybe. If any of you that read this is a "mind doctor" and you feel that God has given you some insight, please feel free to share it. I won't bite. :) And even if you are a 'layman' and feel like sharing... What's odd, well maybe, is that the book of Revelations is not my favorite book in the Bible. It's Job. My thought for the day: Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind and said: “Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge? Dress for action like a man;I will question you, and you make it known to me. Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?Tell me, if you have understanding. Who determined its measurements—surely you know!Or who stretched the line upon it? On what were its bases sunk,or who laid its cornerstone, when the morning stars sang togetherand all the sons of God shouted for joy? (Job 38:1-7 esv)

Dr. Pepper

Well, I had writter's block this morning and could not come up with something to write about. Should it be able more football stuff? Army stuff? Maybe about one of my hobbies (that I rarely have time to participate in). But then it came to me. Dr. Pepper - the absolute best soft drink in the world! Ok, I'm being silly here. But I do enjoy Dr. Pepper. Ever since I stayed with my uncle as a kid. He lived about 20 miles from the nearest grocery store (for some that may read this that may still be close, but when it is in the suburbs of Washington D.C. - that's far!) and would have cases stacked upon cases of it in his garage. Fast forward to today (a mere 30 or so years later) and I still buy Dr. Pepper by the case. Granted I have been working to curtail my habit because I know it's not good for me. Empty calories, the extra acidity in the stomach, and lately I've also started to feel like it could be dragging me down. That is I feel tired a lot. Not so tired I can't function, but just a general sense of being tired. So with the encouragement of some friends I am going to be scaling back my consumption to no more than one Dr. Pepper a day. I tried the cold turkey method and let's just say that it didn't go so well when I fell off the wagon. God willing, I will also start exercising more often as well. After all, I have at least one more APFT to get through. It would be nice to pass that one. Thought for the day: Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,but he who hates reproof is stupid. - Proverbs 12:1 (esv)

Sudoku puzzles

Ok, this is turning into just ramblings, but here it goes anyway. I have become obsessed with Sudoku puzzles. My wife bought me a book on them, and ways to help solve them and I've almost already read the whole book - in less than 24 hours! If you have never tried them check out the link I put up on the right. Thanks to Amy. She showed me how to post links to areas of interest of mine and I went crazy! If anyone can help me learn how to post pictures... please let me know. Ok, about this Sunday's game... I've decided to wager a team flag on the game. It's sort of been our tradition since we became friends back in 2002. I've won a sweatshirt from him, and he's won a knit cap from me (hey, it was reversable ;~) ). But I think that no matter what, I am going to buy the flag for him. I just want to bless him since he is not a Christian.

the militant samurai

I have been described as "militant" on a Forum that I frequent. Websters describes a militant as: mil·i·tant ( P ) (ml-tnt)adj. 1. Fighting or warring. 2. Having a combative character; aggressive, especially in the service of a cause: a militant political activist. n. 1. A fighting, warring, or aggressive person or party. I am not sure how to take that. Am I being refered to as combative? Or merely trying to work on expounding and explaining myself to others? Something to think about.... Well, i will be traveling to a Chicago Bears fan's house to watch this weekends game. I just hope the Panthers don't embaress me in front of my Army buddy. :)

Carolina Panthers 23 - New York Giants 0

Man did that win make me feel good as a fan. I was not able to sit and watch the game as we had some friends and their children over for dinner after church yesterday, but I was able to catch tidbits. Besides, I recorded it to VHS for my personall viewing pleasure later. Now they go to Chicago next Sunday. Chicago manhandled the Panthers in their regular season meeting 3-13 in which Delhomme was intercepted twice (resulting in 10 points), and the Bears defense sacked him 8 (!) times. Oh, I'll still watch the game (but probably have to cut it short for Awana's) because the Panthers are my team. Not much else to report for today. I woke up too early, dehydrated, massive headache, upset stomach. This is to soon to get into the why's and wherefores. But anyway... if anyone reads it. Thanks... but it's more for me anyway. ;~)

Day 1

Well, what can I say? This is my very first blog and I had all these things rush through my mind that I thought would be interesting to post. But now that I'm sitting down at the terminal... nothing. I did want to thank those that have encouraged me to get this started. Amy, Marie, 'grampy', and a few others. Hopefully this will be a bit more interesting in the very near future. :)