Music Monday - 20091012 and church search conclusion (?)

My family and i continue to search for a new church. It had come down to two. One is relatively near by, while the other one is about 25 minutes away. Yesterday tipped the scales to the one further away. Why is it that i continue to find one of two 'types' of churches. On one 'side' we find a church that has good teaching BUT we find several legalistic people, people who do not seem to practice what is preached outside of the pew (personal experiences with said people), child care (pre-school/elementary/youth) not very friendly, and not much in the way for families to fellowship together. Then on the 'other side' we find a slightly 'watered down' message but the people seem more genuine. The teachers in the youth are friendly and helpful, there are things for the family and youth to do. Do i come across as self righteous in these blogs? Do i seem stubborn or elitist? Because i desire in-depth teaching and accountability am i doing the things that we are seeing? I deeply desire a church home that desires to continually teach the gospel, that encourages grace filled accountability, that encourages the meeting together of the saints not just in teaching situations but relationship building ones AND service (i.e. ministry) opportunities. I am fully aware that a 'perfect church' does not exist out there, and yet... why do i struggle to find one that i am comfortable to bring my family too? The more i think about it the more i am inclined to think it is me. When i listen, read, or watch things about/by about men like CJ Mahaney, John Piper, Allister Begg, John Stott, RC Sproul, Thabiti Anyabwile, and John MacArthur, my spirit's hunger gnaws at me. I recently listened to an interview with one of these men and i remember this because i remember my spirit crying out to know God more... to be more passionate for Him. And there was a line that went like this, "Someone once asked me, 'how can i be as passionate as you are'? and (he) replied, if you want to be passionate you have to spend time with God. You have to study His word. (He suggested to) start with the gospels and the seven sayings of Christ on the cross." (off of memory, but hopefully just as accurate) So, what i am taking away from this is that i need to stop seeking to have my hunger satisfied from a pulpit and i have to take a more personal approach to feeding this desire. I'm not saying that i don't need to attend a local church, quite the opposite, but i need to stop seeking to have my hunger and thirst quenched strictly from the pulpit. I need to be more directly involved in the satiating of such hunger pains. I also want to guard my heart against the very things that we've been seeing in "deep" churches around us of late.

And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. (Luke 11:9-10, ESV) “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, [1] for the servant [2] does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another. (John 15:12-17, ESV)

To be honest i have leaned more towards spiritual slothfulness than becoming a marathon runner. I read the following from a facebook friend over the weekend, "Once an overweight couch potato with a glut of bad habits, including smoking and drinking, at the age of 43 John Bingham looked mid-life in the face—and started running. Since then, he has completed 40 marathons and hundreds of 5K and 10K races... —and developed a whole new outlook." Famous quote: "The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start." (Thanks for sharing that Linda!) I am praying in Jesus' name that i may have the courage to start... OK... enough rambling. Last week, again on facebook, the I LOVE CHRISTIAN MUSIC♥ page shared the song below and it moved me. I know many of you may think that it was just because that it is in both English and Japanese that this is the case but i truly believe that it was more than that. I love hearing the praises of God sung in other languages. There is something moving that is hard to explain. Before i was a Christian there was a Chinese family that lived next door to me. Whenever i would get sick my friend's mother would make me dumplings. My mouth still waters... well, they also took me to church a couple of times, but the sermons and singing were always in Chinese. But even then it caught my attention. So, without further delay...

Found in You Written by Lisa Davidson Translated by Emi Shirasaya 救いの神様が 変えてくれたよ　この人生を 救いの十字架が 永遠の命　与えてくれる 捧げよう　すべて あなたを愛してるから イエスだけが　満たす魂 歌おう　あなた讃えて　イエス Salvation belongs to our God Nothing else could ever change My life the way You did Salvation belongs to the cross By the perfect blood You shed I live eternally My life is forfeit to You 'Cause I have fallen in love with the Saviour Jesus alone can satisfy my soul I'll sing Your praises forever My life is forfeit to You 'Cause I have fallen in love with the Saviour Jesus alone can satisfy my soul I'll sing Your praises forever Jesus すべては　あなたの　中にある すべては　あなたの　中にある すべては　あなたの　中にある すべては　あなたの　中にある All that I want All that I need I've found in You All that I want All that I need I've found in You All that I want All that I need I've found in You All that I want All that I need I've found in Your Love My life is forfeit to You 'Cause I have fallen in love with the Saviour Jesus alone can satisfy my soul I'll sing Your praises forever 捧げよう　すべて あなたを愛してるから イエスだけが　満たす魂 歌おう　あなた讃えて 歌おう　あなた讃えて 歌おう　あなた讃えてイエス

Music Monday - 20090921 - and other randomness

Of late i have been desiring to grow more passionate about my relationship with Christ. (Last weeks blog is HERE.) One cannot be passionate about things unless they spend time pursuing and thinking about it. Although i have had this song on my Music Monday blog before (ironically almost exactly one year ago) it is where i am at again this morning... unless the Father calls i am unable to respond (John 6:44)

Draw me close to you Draw me close to You Never let me go I lay it all down again To hear You say that I'm Your friend You are my desire No one else will do 'Cause nothing else could take Your place To feel the warmth of Your embrace Help me find the way Bring me back to You You're all I want You're all I've ever needed You're all I want Help me know You are near

So, i have been working on drawing close to God by reading Living the Cross Centered Life by CJ Mahaney, i have been thinking about the things of the cross, and a lot of my prayer life has been centered around what Christ has done for me on the cross.

How do we know?

Since Christmas I have had the chance to watch a few movies. In two of them there was a line or two that kind of caught my attention.

The first one was in "Ratatouille". The main human charecter, Linguini . When he shows up at Gusteau's asking for a job it is found out that his mother (who had written a letter to help him) has passed away. When the Chef offers his condolences Linguini says something to the affect that she is "covered" because she believe in heaven. It is also important to state that why she is "covered", or what exactly she believed, is not expounded upon in the movie. It is more a part of the conversation to help the audience feel sympathy for the boy, and a sense of concern for how the whole plot unfolds for him.

The other movie is "Meet Joe Black". At the end Bill Parish (Anthony Hopkins) is leaving with 'Joe Black' (Brad Pitt), he turns and asks, "Should I be afraid"? Joe responds, "Not a man like you". Once again it is important to note that the movie does not go in depth as to the charecters view on heaven and hell, or his theological beliefs.

I am not really sure how much to go into this whole subject. From an observers point of view we can try and discern things, but in both of these cases, the 'people' being observed are completely fictional. The charecters themselves do not have souls, once the movie ends so does there existance. I guess my main point of concern is the messages that are being conveyed.

I have several relatives who are (or where) of the mind that "all roads lead to heaven". I only mention this, and I guess it is on my mind because, the comments were specific references to heaven and the people on their way to the afterlife. I love both of these movies, and these references do very little to diminish my enjoyment of them. But I would like to speak to my fellow believers in Christ who come upon these pages.

“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy [1] that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few." (Matthew 7:13-14, ESV)

"Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?” Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you had known me, you would have known my Father also. [4] From now on you do know him and have seen him.” (John 14:5-7, ESV)

As Christians we may doubt about our salvation. We may question our own walk with the Savior, but we must guard our hearts and minds against how salvation (the path to heaven) is obtained. There is one God, and there is but one path to salvation, and that is through Jesus Christ. He cannot be both a great prophet and a liar. He is either one or the other, and I place my trust in the former.


Verse for today:
John 10:22-30, ESV
At that time the Feast of Dedication took place at Jerusalem. It was winter, and Jesus was walking in the temple, in the colonnade of Solomon. So the Jews gathered around him and said to him, “How long will you keep us in suspense? If you are the Christ, tell us plainly.” Jesus answered them, “I told you, and you do not believe. The works that I do in my Father's name bear witness about me, but you do not believe because you are not part of my flock. My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, [1] is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand. I and the Father are one.”

"Brothers"

A little over a year ago my Father-in-law asked me if I had ever watched "The Unit" (CBS, Tuesdays at 9 PM et/pt), and to be honest I hadn't up to that point. So, the next time it was on I made sure I was sitting down to watch it. In between bath time, and getting kids to bed (I am very grateful for DVR) I was hooked by the time the preview for next weeks episode came on. I was so hooked that I asked for the season-1 set when it came out, for Christmas (and I've asked for season 2 this year).

For those who don't know, the show is based off of the book "Inside Delta Force" by Eric Haney. The episodes cover a team of Delta Force operators and their wives.

Last night I finally was able to watch last weeks episode "Play 16", which was the follow up to "Five Brothers" the week before that. In Five Brothers the writers and producers did something that not many other shows are willing to do... they killed off an integral charecter - they killed Hector "Hammerhead" Williams. Although he was not one of the 'front three' (as I might call them), but he was a team member - and I really liked his charecter. Then in last weeks episode I really liked how the brough him back home.

This show does not have a large budget (I think), but they do a lot with what they do have. The story lines are interesting to me, even the home front side where they sort of talk about what the spouses go through is compelling. The one thing I do not like, and often skip over, is the extra marital affair of one of the main charecter's wife - and their commanding officer of all things!

The Unit kind of speaks to me. It's probably because I 'bleed Army green', and I have a deep respect for the kind of training and drive it takes to do such things. I have come to accept that I am not now, nor have I ever been, that skilled in - well anything. I have not been willing to discipline myself to that level of training and focus. I once began a work out regimine to attempt a tryout for the Special Forces group, but I quit early on because I was tired of being so tired.

Right now I suffer from some guilt. Earlier this year most of my unit was called to active duty, I was only one of four who weren't. I am now a REMF (please don't ask me to spell it out). Grant it, it's an important assignment - and it needs to be done, but when most of the men you trained with are called up - and possibly in harms way, but you are not...

Anyway... if anyone who reads this, who is either a member of the Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force - or a family member (epecially a spouse of a member) you have my deepest respect.



Verse for today:
John 15:12-17, ESV
"This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, [1] for the servant [2] does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another.

Family time at the movies

For some time now my beloved and I have been seeing posters, and trailers for "The Golden Compass". We both like that general type of film, and the advertisers are doing a fairly decent job of promoting it. However, I have been reading things on the internet of late bringing forth somethings that concern me greatly. The movie is based off of a trilogy written by author Phillip Pullman. It is written that Mr. Pullman is an athiest who really does not like C.S. Lewis, or his books, or pretty much to do anything with religion in general. It is my understanding (from what I have read on-line) that the book that this movie is based off of has some serious anti-God threads, and in the end the children "kill God". (Read a snoops article here) Apparently the movie has really supressed these themes in order to make it more friendly for us "church goers". (On a side note: it's intresting to hear that the 'other side of the coin' faces such supression.) Originally we were planning on going to see it as a date night movie, but I doubt I will even do that now - not even NetFlix it.


We should not be surprised buy such things. The 'world' hates Christ (John 7:7), and as a result it is only natural for it to hate those of us who follows Christ (John 15:9). The enemy of our souls is a master at his craft (Genesis, Job, 2 Corinthians), and as a result he has managed to turn some to hate, and I do mean hate, those who seek after Christ. And sometimes the best way to attack something, is by deception and disguise.


Now, I have watched The Lord of the Rings and Narnia with my two sons, and there are definetly things that I need to talk over some things with them in those movies as well. But, isn't that the role of a parent? We can never completely protect them from the world (when I use this term it is in reference to the part of the world in opposition to God). Our actual role is to teach and to train (Proverbs 22). I guess what I am trying to say is this, whatever you do with your children, wherever you go, whatever you see, talk to them about it - and ultimately pray for them. God can, and does, use all things to teach and to train them. Our ultimate peace and joy will be at our destination, and not during the journey. But that doesn't mean that we can't stop and appreciate the view from time to time. Look for those little nuggets. :)






Verse for today:
Deuteronomy 11:18-21, ESV
“You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, that your days and the days of your children may be multiplied in the land that the Lord swore to your fathers to give them, as long as the heavens are above the earth.

I'm sayin', but I'm not sayin'

I have been receiving some really good, thoughtful, comments from my blog entry the other day, titled 'The Objective and the subjective'. But I think I am being mis-understood. In regards to God changing His mind. Did God really change His mind regarding Sodom and Gomorah, or was He teaching Abraham to be concerned with the welfare of others? Was it God saying, "maybe I shouldn't destroy these cities", or was it God shaping Abraham to teach him that He can interact with God regarding such things? I mean, in the end the cities were still destroyed. Only Lot and his daughters were saved. In the end, our input is heard by God, and I firmly believe if we "ask not", we will not see any changes. God desires our interaction that is for sure. His Word is clear in that we are to seek Him, petition Him, and ask Him for things. This is one of those things that we will enjoy getting to know about God as we walk with Him. The second item brought up was regarding 1 Corinthians 9:20-23. There is definetly no one right way to preach the Gospel. I fully believe Pastor Orsteen is sincere in his efforts to reach the lost for the sake of Christ. And I fully believe that he is doing that. But, if we allow those who are brought through the doors to remain in such a state they will at best remain ignorant of exactly what God has accomplished with Christ going to the cross, and at worst they will remain connected to the church because it is so welcoming - but remain seperated from God, never having seen the need to accept His work on the cross. America is full of people professing to be Christians, but having a schewed view of what exactly being a Christian means. And they are from all points of view. Some that are incredibly legalistic (*), while others are the exact opposite (God's grace in all things, no matter what I do). We have churches that are failing to grow spiritually, or even worse they misrepresent God. God is unchanging (Malachi), His ways are perfect (2 Samuel), He cannot lie (Numbers), and He cannot contradict Himself, thus my concern for what I perceive as a misrepresentation of God. Especially when it is in the context of we being able to change God's mind when it comes to 'difficulties' or 'hardships'. And when the message is consistantly leaning towards how good and gracious He is, without any mention of why God is so good and gracious to us, then I am concerned. I never debated that the situation changed for the King in 2 Kings, and I never said that Pastor Osteen was preaching a false gospel (if he ever mentions it at all) or that he is not bringing people to Christ. What I am trying to say is that - I feel - that it is a weakened presentation, and that it does not fully represent the God to whom he is calling people to. "And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent." (John 17:3, ESV) "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him." (John 3:17, ESV) Some people when they come to Christ are not ready to hear what they have been saved from, others cannot be saved without knowing it. Some people come to Christ in an instant and/or when they are very young. Others after many years of faithful witness and/or when they are older. Some people are never ready to hear the "whistle of the train coming". No matter how we are brought to Him can we ever adequetly justify a complacency, an "I have arrived" type attitude if you were? And what about looking to ourselves for change? If you've ever heard "The Message" this is exactly what is being presented. When we constantly look to ourselves, we eventually fail. We "work out our own salvation" (Phillipians 2:12), but we never achieve the ultimate goal on our own - our salvation, without God's gift of grace (Ephesians 2:8-10). It is one thing to presnt a "feel good message" in order to draw people to Christ, it is another thing entirely to present a false image of God. When that happens we are creating idols, and I think we know how God deals with idols. Before I "close out" this blog entry I think I need to also say that, when I stand before the throne of God, and my life is reviewed, I am confident that there are a great number of things (I dare say - most) that I will be mistaken on. I know that my views are not perfect. But I feel compelled to share these concerns - and thus I have prayed, I rely, and I trust that the Holy Spirit will use these imperfect words as He sees fit, and ultimately for His glory. If what we "know" contradicts what His Word says, we must carefully examine our own heart and mind, and ask for Him to reveal it to us - because ultimately we are subjective, and He is objective. Verse for today: Numbers 23:18-19, ESV “Rise, Balak, and hear; give ear to me, O son of Zippor: God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it? * the definition I find most helpful was summarized by CJ Mahaney (in one place in his book "The Cross Centered Life", by Multinomah books, 2002, pg 25, para. 2), he summarizes it like this, "Legalism is seeking to achieve forgiveness from God and acceptance by God, through obedience to God."

Pieces of Memorabilia

Over the years I have been careful to not go crazy with various memorabilia for the Carolina Panthers. On my own I have never spent more than $5 on any piece of Panthers gear (eBay is a great thing). Over the years I've gotten a little more 'generous', but for the most part I do not like to spend a lot of money on these things.



Most of what i do have have been gifts either on my birthday, or for Christmas, or for my anniversary. This year I was just doing a random search on eBay for anything John Kasay (#4, place kicker for the Panthers, and last original Panther). What I was really hoping to find was one of the Panthers "throw back" blue uniforms - they are my personal favorite, and they only wear them twice a year - for Mr. Kasay. Why, you might ask? I have been wanting to get Panthers shirts, or sweatshirt, or Jersey of the three uniform colors to wear on game days (I have several items in black... I still need white and blue). But to cut to the chase, I found an autographed mini-Ridel helmet, signed by John Kasay himself.



After 1) seeing that it was to raise money for a cancer patient, 2) that the Panthers organization (supposedly) donated this helmet for said "charity", and 3) was signed by a man who I have considered a stand-up man for God, and example of a Christian man in the midst of success, a humble man - and of course the last original Carolina Panther; I quickly decided what my maximum bid would be and waited.



I was very happy when I found out that I had won this item. Those eBay commericals are coming back to me now. Anyway... I just wanted to share something silly... and now I am feeling a little bit self consious... and maybe even selfish...



I doubt Mr. Kasay would ever read this, but if he did I would like to tell him that as a Christian brother, I am inspired to be a better man of God by his remote example as displayed over the years. May God grant you the highest success - that of being drawn closer and closer to Him.



Verse for today:
John 17:1-4, ESV
When Jesus had spoken these words, he lifted up his eyes to heaven, and said, “Father, the hour has come; glorify your Son that the Son may glorify you, since you have given him authority over all flesh, to give eternal life to all whom you have given him. And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent. I glorified you on earth, having accomplished the work that you gave me to do. And now, Father, glorify me in your own presence with the glory that I had with you before the world existed.

Trouble sleeping

Ok, this is going to sound wierd... but last night I was having trouble staying asleep. It was not things running through my mind (that I know of), it was not the TV - which was off, I could not put my finger on it. I would fall asleep, and then a few minutes later wake up again. Finally in desperation I just got our spare balnket out of the closet and snagged a pillow and plopped right down on the floor beside the bed. Now someone may have thought that I was heading to our guestroom, or maybe the couch. Nope! For me, when I can't sleep, the best way to fall asleep fast - and stay asleep, is to get on the floor. I don't get it, I don't understand it, but that is the place I get my best sleep. Verse for today: John 12:39-43, ESV Therefore they could not believe. For again Isaiah said, “He has blinded their eyes and hardened their heart, lest they see with their eyes, and understand with their heart, and turn, and I would heal them.” Isaiah said these things because he saw his glory and spoke of him. Nevertheless, many even of the authorities believed in him, but for fear of the Pharisees they did not confess it, so that they would not be put out of the synagogue; for they loved the glory that comes from man more than the glory that comes from God.

Deja Vu

On Monday my beloved and I were able to watch the movie Deja Vu. Man that was a good movie. It had some of things we both love in movies. It was a little Sci-Fi, a little detective, and a little bit love story. You have to pay attention, and there are some frightening moments. But over all I really think this movie was well done and would recommend it. That's all I have for now... it's been a crazy day. Verse for today: John 2:2-5, ESV Jesus also was invited to the wedding with his disciples. When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does this have to do with me? My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”

Beware the Ides of March

I know some of the most "intresting" winter weather the DC area gets is in March. I've lived in this area for most of my life. You would think I'd be used to it, but it catches me by surprise every time. This 'storm' reminded me of what we went through with my 1st son. A week before he was born my beloved went into false labor. We made the thirty plus mile trip to the hospital (it's where her doctors where) and the weather channel was calling for 1-3 inches of snow. As the night went on it became 2-4 inches, then 3-6. By the time her doctor was able to get to the hospital it was up to 5-8 inches. When the doc finally realized that this was not the boys time he was going to send us home! I told him that he better be sure because it no longer looked like I was going to be able to just turn around and come back - the prediction was then up to 12-18 inches of snow - all of this within 18 hours. When all was said and done it dumped over two feet of snow and I was digging out our parking space and walkway from our apartment every six hours. All went well though. I'm sorry I don't have anything more. I had something better to write about, but I never wrote it down... and now I can't remember it. May the lord richly bless each of you with a joy and peace filled weekend. Verse for today: John 14:27, ESV Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

Prayer requested

I have been meeting with my pastor in regards to getting some more formal discipleship. I've been working on this for sometime, but last night it was sort of interesting. For some time (like since I was saved) I've been feeling a desire to be a form a teaching pastor (until last night I've never really had a term for it). My Pastor basically encouraged me to "explore this calling". He's not talking about me quiting my day job or anything. More like stepping up to teach a short seminar session at our church (in the coming months we are going to be doing quarterly seminar like things for those wanting to delve more into certain things). He asked me to pray and see if there is a topic that the Lord might lead me to speak on, and he will help me "get my thoughts together". Although I am nervous about this to some degree, I am more concerned with how my beloved will take this. Since we have been married any time this subject has come up she basically responds "I am not going to be a pastor's wife!" I know that no matter what the Lord leads me in I will need her by my side - and not kicking and fighting, but supportive and encouraging. I also know that I know enough to get in to trouble. Standing up to teach is one thing but to stand in front of God's people to lead and to teach is something more entirely. A teaching error in a 'secular' class (for lack of a better word) is a finite mistake - to make and error in the ways of God can have eternal consequences. I need to rely totally on the Holy Spirit and not my own ways... and trust that as long as I am doing what God is leading... then I can trust in His grace to cover over the rough spots. I don't know where this will all lead, but I am grateful for this opportunity to learn and to share. Please pray as you feel led - and may His glory be proclaimed and revealed. Verse for today: John 3:27-30, ESV John answered, “A person cannot receive even one thing unless it is given him from heaven. You yourselves bear me witness, that I said, ‘I am not the Christ, but I have been sent before him.’ The one who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom's voice. Therefore this joy of mine is now complete. He must increase, but I must decrease.” [10]