They are feeding my addiction

Yesterday the "Flair" application on Facebook announced that they have added new "boards" to display your flair on AND you can now display more than one board! That means i can arrange everyone of my 550 pieces of flair - 53 pieces per board! \o/ So, i will need a minimum of eleven backgrounds to display them all... but knowing me there will be more than that so i can organize them by subject. LOL

My writing has been moving along, albeit slowly. I have gotten to a point where i need to work out a complicated scene before i can move on. Some writers skip around in their work... and i am not sure i can do that... but maybe in a way i am. I have an on-going story line that i've tied in to my "novel", and there is a part that is a background piece for the novel and i've been working on that is almost finished... but to jump ahead in the "novel" outline... that part i am not so sure about. Which sort of reminds me... i have a personal goal of 3,000 words a month of writing. Doesn't matter what piece i work on (and i currently have four in various stages), i just have to write 3,000 words. I am way off pace for December... i'd better get to work soon. My friend from High School, Ram, has been itching to get together to do some tabletop wargamming. The guys has been a really good sport about my style of hang back and shoot. He continually attempts to storm the gates. I can't help it. It is my natural instinct based off of my Infantry training. Anyway, i made a promise to him that i would deliberately take a force that makes me get out of my comfort zone. This time i will play a force styled after the Eldar Harlequins using the Escher rule set. I've always had a fascination with Mime's, and dancing troupes of old. There is just something fascinating about mesmerizing forms of twirling dancers arrayed in colorful costumes and masks. We shall see how this works out. I am not one to venture far from my comfort zone all too often. LOL Of late i have been really trying to work over in my head the verses from Matthew 7:21-23...

"“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’" (ESV)

I believe God is really working on my heart in this area. Especially in regard to the part where the people are saying, "...did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do mighty works in your name?" I feel that many American "Christians" are like this. (Especially in light of what i have been seeing in the churches i have attended lately.) We get busy with various programs, we get caught up in how many people are showing up to events, or how many people are "brought into the kingdom", but we never actually teach them what it takes to have a personal RELATIONSHIP with Christ. I need to confess something here... i was saved into a church that did do that, but i never made the hard changes in my life where i disciplined myself to pursue daily devotions. I think this is what God is trying to show me now. I believe He is telling me, "take the log out of your own eye", especially before i get to work doing things in His name. Unless there is the foundation of a relationship - it is all in vain... He is not in the work. And nothing that is void of God will last or have any real meaning. Confession is one thing... especially on a blog that very few read... but i need to put words and faith into action... "Lord Jesus, please help seal this on my heart. Please help me to make the hard changes. Not because my efforts to spend time with You contribute in anyway, but because of what You have done. Lord Jesus thank You for your tender mercies that are indeed new every day. I confess that i have been lazy in my relationship with you. I've done a lot of talking and very little listening. Lord, please help me to break this bad habit and to make a change. Lord i desperately want to know you more... and more importantly... to be known by you. You have told us that if we turn from our sins and humble ourselves you will hear our prayers. Lord God you have also said that if we ask for anything in Your name the Father will give it. Heavenly Father... i ask for this in the name of my Lord Jesus' name, and for His glory. Amen. "

Discipleship in cyberspace

While I was reading through the blogs I frequent (see side bar for the links) I found out that Susan (author of the "Learning for Lifetime" blog) awarded me the "Mathetes Award". This award was started by a man named Dan King of Management by God as a way to recognize and encourage others. The name "Mathetes" comes from the Greek word for disciple, and the role of the disciple is to make yet more disciples (Matthew 28:18-20). The intention of this award is to recognize five other blogs that have encouraged you in your walk with Christ (or in a way, discipled you). For my part the five blogs that have inspired me are:

Alise: I have really come to appreciate this woman's desire to worship God. I have been blessed to read through her struggles as a SAHM, worship team member, worship team leader, and lay(wo)man within her church at "Big Mama's Blog". We have similar life struggles and her candor and heart for God have been a blessing to me.

Dave Cruver: Dave has been a blessing to me through his blog, "To Tell the Truth", by expounding upon a wide variety of topics, but I love his love for the gospel of Christ. His blogs are always insightful and helpful, and he does a wonderful job of explaining what he believes, and why he believes it. I often come away from reading his blog contemplating some "piece of the puzzle". His blog is also a wonderful resource for other websites.

Thabiti Anyabwile: Thabiti is the author of the blog "Pure Church". A former Muslim who has come to love the Savior Jesus Christ, I learned about him through the "Together for the Gospel" blog (a group of Pastors from a variety of denominations). He really has a way of unfolding what he believes, and why. He has also been very helpful to me by giving me a point of view on some topics that I might otherwise not have seen.

Eric "Gunny" Hartman: As the author of "Semper Reformunda" Eric has been a relatively new addition to my "frequent visit" list of blogs, but I have grown to appreciate his words of wisdom. He has encouraged me, by challanging me in what he has to say.

Amy: This woman has been an encouragement to me in my life, but not in typical ways one might expect to be. Her blog entries at "How Do I Find My Way", and through sharing prayer requests, have really helped me to see and understand some things in my own life. Her struggles with being a single mother, trying to make ends meet, successes, failures, and just where she is in life and society have really opened my eyes to more than a few things. She has been both a means of grace received in my life, and a means for me to exercise some gifts.

There are others, and it was very difficult to pick out a "top five". I really wanted to "tag back" Susan, but felt that would not be fair. :) Thank you Susan for the kind award, thank you Dan for creating it as a means to encourage others to both be discipled, and to disciple others. I am honored, and humbled, that my blog would have an impact on anyone. May God continue to use me as He sees fit, and may He continue to use both Susan's blog, the blogs that I have listed as a being a blessing to me, and all those who call Him Lord, to further His kingdom for His glory. amen



Verse for today:
Matthew 28:16-20, ESV
Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. And when they saw him they worshiped him, but some doubted. And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in [2] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Misc. thoughts...

No man is worthy to succeed until he is willing to fail. No man is morally worthy of success in religious activities until he is willing that the honor of succeeding should go to another if God so wills.

I have subscribed to the "Tozer Daily Devotional" by Literature Ministries International, and it has been useful in pointing out things to think about. The quote above has been useful in my life of late. Especially in regards to my walk with the Lord. Although it is probably not directly recognized as such, it has really helped me re-evaluate my walk with the Lord - and my motivations. That and a few other things. :) Last night was pretty fun. "Transformers" was a fun popcorn munching, sci-fi, special affects, movie. It was pretty cheesy in place (ever hear a robot space alien 'preach' about the nobility of man...?), but over all it was fun to watch. Big Mama - to answer your question... I've only seen the 'Heroes' season premier, it was a lot like last years start. It was setting up the 'players' in their plot lines. Not much else going on. I have this weeks episode DVR'd and hope to get to that later this week. Between that show, 'The Unit', and any and all football I can watch, my TV time is pretty much taken. lol Verse for today: Psalm 94:10-15, ESV He who disciplines the nations, does he not rebuke? He who teaches man knowledge— the Lord—knows the thoughts of man, that they are but a breath. [1] Blessed is the man whom you discipline, O Lord, and whom you teach out of your law, to give him rest from days of trouble, until a pit is dug for the wicked. For the Lord will not forsake his people; he will not abandon his heritage; for justice will return to the righteous, and all the upright in heart will follow it.

Ugh! Is the sun up yet?

One thing about working in the IT field... the main hours to do routine maintenance is o-dark-thirty. It was a 'simple' LAN migration, but in order to have the least amount of impact on the critical systems (the ones the most users use during the business day) we started our day at 0400 this morning. It's hard to readjust the body. LOL And the mind seems to work on a 3 second delay... A long time friend will be starting a care/small/bible-study group up this September. Unfortunately (for him) he commutes 90 minutes each way to work. I felt led to offer him support in the teaching department (so to speak), which he gratefully accepted. now I am "on the hook" so to speak. :) We will be taking turns leading the discussion/teaching - four weeks on, four weeks off. My first "rotation" will be in October. But I am not sure of what to teach yet. My first thought was about "The Pursuit and Practice of Biblical Fellowship". It would be based off of a sermon by Kenneth Maresco I recently downloaded and listened to from Covenant Life Church. Some really good stuff about how we can come alongside one another to help lift each other up, challenge each other, and encourage each other. Unless your church is the size of a few families it is difficult for the Pastor to minister to each member of the congregation. And it becomes even more difficult as the church gets larger. This is where small groups become more beneficial. When I started this entry this morning I had some really good points that I wanted to share that Kenneth brings up in his sermon... but my mind is really 'mushy' right now. The overall general point is that it that the small group really can help each of us as individuals grow. It helps me see things that I am otherwise blinded too, and it allows me the opportunity to help my fellow brothers and sisters out. All done in grace. Well, I am going to wrap this up for today... God bless... Verse for today: Proverbs 27:17-21, ESV Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. [4] Whoever tends a fig tree will eat its fruit, and he who guards his master will be honored. As in water face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects the man. Sheol and Abaddon are never satisfied, and never satisfied are the eyes of man. The crucible is for silver, and the furnace is for gold, and a man is tested by his praise.

Talking about what is good

The past few posts have not really been all that helpful. Well, maybe they have been, but it feels like they have been slightly negative in tone. That really was not my intention. It's just I want so much more for the body of Christ, for my 'brothers' and 'sisters'. I want more for myself. Especially when it comes to my relationship with Christ. I am not really sure what else to say today. May the Lord be with you... Verse for today: Philippians 4:4-9, ESV Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Living Cross centered

I actually managed to drag my tired old bones out of bed at 6:30 this morning so that I could go and walk for exercise. I really want to make this a habit in my life. I actually have goals in this....

1) I want to get back down to 185. I'd be happy to get back to 190! lol :)

2) I would like to lower my colesterol back down below 180. I would especially desire to get the good and bad ratios back to healthy levels.

3) To walk for 10,000 miles. Now, that seems like a crazy number... maybe it is, maybe it isn't... but it sets a "carrot" before me. Something to shoot for. One thing a marksman does before he takes a shot. He focuses on the target, not the sights of the weapon. This allows the eye to naturally adjust the weapon to line it up with the target. In this way I hope to keep my 'program' sighted in on the goal of 10,000 miles. By God's grace I hope it will be a habit so that when that goal is reached it may be a mere stepping stone to continue on.

Ok, this is getting a little off track... maybe. :) Who knows where this is going. "Is anyone driving this bus?"

My beloved got an MP3 player for me before I left for my two week training. It was my Father's day gift this year. Wow do I enjoy that little thing. What a wonderful little device that I can use to listen to Praise and Worship music, contemporary Christian music, AND (for me this is the biggest thing I was hoping for) I can download and listen to sermons. This morning what a wonderful walk. I listened to a sermon from what I would consider to be a "sister" church - Living Faith Church in Frankliln, WV. The sermon was on a subject near and dear to my heart, "A Cross Centered Life" (Pastor Steve Teter, 6-May-2007).

I have heard similar sermons before by CJ Mahaney (who wrote "The Cross Centered Life: Keeping the main thing, the main thing") and to be honest I struggled to keep my mind focused on the sermon, but God stirred my sould again. My mind fills with doubts, but God is good. I want to focus on what little morsels God places before me, and then allow His Word to nurish my soul and see where He leads.

The one thing that really struck me and inspired todays blog (finally getting around to it...) was that when my Lord Jesus Christ died on the cross and became a propitiation for my sins I am completely forgiven. My sins which are ever before me are completely and totally forgiven. So much so that I am considered to have kept the law perfectly because of what He accomplished. Not by anything I did, only by what He has done. And there is nothing in my life that my Father is surprsied by. Every day of my life is known to Him already.

Now, this does not give me license to go about and sin. The very fact that I am redeamed and forgiven, reconciled, changes my heart. I want to do nothing but please and obey my Lord, despite my failures.

The last thing that stuck in my mind was this. As we walk through this life, as we work more and more on our on going sanctification, we (should) become more and more aware of our sins. This side of heaven we never arrive, we are constantly being conformed into the image of or Lord, why? Because He loves us.



Verse for today:
1 John 3:4-10, ESV
Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness. You know that he appeared to take away sins, and in him there is no sin. No one who abides in him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him. Little children, let no one deceive you. Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as he is righteous. Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil. No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God's [2] seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God. By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother.

Prayer requested

I have been meeting with my pastor in regards to getting some more formal discipleship. I've been working on this for sometime, but last night it was sort of interesting. For some time (like since I was saved) I've been feeling a desire to be a form a teaching pastor (until last night I've never really had a term for it). My Pastor basically encouraged me to "explore this calling". He's not talking about me quiting my day job or anything. More like stepping up to teach a short seminar session at our church (in the coming months we are going to be doing quarterly seminar like things for those wanting to delve more into certain things). He asked me to pray and see if there is a topic that the Lord might lead me to speak on, and he will help me "get my thoughts together". Although I am nervous about this to some degree, I am more concerned with how my beloved will take this. Since we have been married any time this subject has come up she basically responds "I am not going to be a pastor's wife!" I know that no matter what the Lord leads me in I will need her by my side - and not kicking and fighting, but supportive and encouraging. I also know that I know enough to get in to trouble. Standing up to teach is one thing but to stand in front of God's people to lead and to teach is something more entirely. A teaching error in a 'secular' class (for lack of a better word) is a finite mistake - to make and error in the ways of God can have eternal consequences. I need to rely totally on the Holy Spirit and not my own ways... and trust that as long as I am doing what God is leading... then I can trust in His grace to cover over the rough spots. I don't know where this will all lead, but I am grateful for this opportunity to learn and to share. Please pray as you feel led - and may His glory be proclaimed and revealed. Verse for today: John 3:27-30, ESV John answered, “A person cannot receive even one thing unless it is given him from heaven. You yourselves bear me witness, that I said, ‘I am not the Christ, but I have been sent before him.’ The one who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom's voice. Therefore this joy of mine is now complete. He must increase, but I must decrease.” [10]

Our brother's keeper

Of late I have been thinking about this. I have always known that in order to grow in Christ that I need to be discipled. That I needed to seek out others within the body of Christ. To learn with, to talk about the things of God with, to come alongside and encourage and be encouraged, to - on occasion - talk to them about something I am concerned about (i.e. a sin I think they may be doing) and for them to do the same to me. But this is much easier said than done. I know I have had problems getting consistant fellowship with other men. I am by no means blaming all the other men that God has brought into my life. I know I am as much to blame (if not more) for our lack of fellowship. It is also hard to get others to hold me accountable. There is also a sense of my own responsibility in this as well. Secrets are sometimes easily kept and unless I am maintaining fellowship and being open with others it would be hard for them to know anything different. Some very big men in the faith have tumbled because of these kinds of things. Another is people (in general) do not want to be held accountable. "Judge not and you will not be judged" is a verse I often hear quoted. There are entire ministries based on these precepts. I guess I want more than just mediocrity. I know that I will not reach my full potential unless I have other men (and at least one woman) in my life to help me see my blind spots (both natural and constructed). And I want to be used of God to help others. And it is a Biblical concept (read 1 Corinthians 5:12)... but just as all things of God it can be abused. Entire periods of history are overshadowed by extremism - the crusades, the inquisition... but the same verse that shows me to be my brothers keeper also shows me that I am not to do the same with those outside of the body. May God bring each of us to a level of humility that we are able to give and receive correction without pride getting in our way. The ultimate goal is not to elivate ourselves over our brothers and sisters, but to help one another grown and conform into the image of our Lord and Savior. There can be no higher aspiration... Verse for today: 1 Corinthians 5:9-13, ESV I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges [2] those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.”