I am beginning to see how Adam and Eve struggled over the fruit of that tree

"So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, [2] she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate." - Genesis 3:6, ESV

“You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor's.” - Exodus 20:17, ESV
I doubt this is will really come as a surprise to most who profess Christ as Lord and Savior, but the enemy still roaming about the earth to see who he can devour. And we, as children of God, are not immune from his wiles. If anything, we are even more vulnerable and susceptible because we believe ourselves "above all that". Or we feel that if we do struggle with temptation and sin that we are not saved - or beyond our Savior's reach.

I mean, the 'world' has such glitter. So much pretty packaging. So many lies, stacked upon lies, that in order to dig through to the truth you must endure and expose yourself to even more deception.

I took yesterday off to spend the day with my beloved. I've been doing this after my drill weekends so that we can get some time together now that she works part time in the evening, and with my being away one weekend a month, there is just no time for just the two of us. While we were out to lunch (at Red, Hot, & Blue - yum!) I had a revelation. Well, maybe it was not that dramatic, but it seemed to be like a bell going off in my head. I'm not sure why, but the quote from "When Harry Met Sally" came up where Harry was telling Jess that he made a woman "meow". (I am not going to go into detail here, while the movie is culturally relevant, it is too crude to be recommended - IMO). The revelation that came to me was this... that a man cannot do things like that to a woman that she does not herself want/allow to happen. This is my thorn.

The enemy has sold me a pack of lies since I was a teenager. About what certain things are supposed to be like. About how things should be. And, to my shame, I have bought into them. I believed them. And I still struggle to dig through the truth. The enemy has successfully piled enough %$#@&!~ on top that as I dig down, the pile is actually falling in on top of me... and at times I feel like I am going to get smothered.

Then last night, because I am feeling lonely (and I am sappy like this), I was watching "Under the Tuscan Sun". There is one scene where the heroine finding "ladybugs" and she is just swept up in the moment. I have decided that I can no longer watch movies, or television shows unless they are things like "Predator", or "AVP". But even in those kinds of movies Hollywood seems bent on inserting such things where they seem to add nothing to the story or the characters. I want so bad to be able to interact with my beloved in that way, but alas it is not to be.

When we first met I did my best to resist the enemy's lure. But eventually I caved and we began the 'death spiral'. Even before our wedding day - and I was a professing born again Christian. Things hit a bump early on, and my own sin and naivety soon caused a rift in that area and it has never fully healed. For now, I am just just asking God to take this thorn away, even though it is my own sin that put it there.
Verse for today:
2 Corinthians 12:7-10, ESV
So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, [1] a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.