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What do you do when you know something is "off"?

I am not really sure for how long now, but for some time I have realized something is kind of "off". I'm not sure if it is the 'chameleon' in me, or the little 'mirror' known as my DS2, or if it is just something that is coming to light - but I have realized that I have a problem.

I am not talking things like financial, or relational, but possibly things within my mind. I have been going through a season in my life where I just can't seem to focus. Where things feel like they are on the brink of spinning out of control.

Recently I have taken an "Aspie quiz" to see if I have something there (a few people have mentioned they have seen indications of Aspergers being a possibility - I've just learned over time to adapt). The results where indicative of there being a good reason to possibly go get an official diagnosis. I feel really weird about it too. I scored REALLY high for ADD, and mildly high for Aspergers (my beloved told me that she feels because God has really helped me learn and adapt that I did not score higher).

I don't really know what to do, and this little "revelation" has been kind of disturbing...
Verse for today:
Psalm 139 : 13-17, ESV
For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. [1]
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

3 comments:

PJ said...

Praying for you. Dealing with a possibility of a diagnosis is always an anxious time. waiting seems interminable. The fact that it's a "mental" thing makes it even more difficulty given the prejudices that our society has. But having worked in the field, there are truly remarkable and successful people with a "diagnosis".

Funny though. I'm also pending a diagnosis. The Dr. says he's checking for Vitamin D deficiency. That's the least ..... dangerous??...whatever... outcome. But I did some reading. One of the possibilities is MS. Can't say that is making me so happy either. As a matter of fact, I have opted out of any "real" blogs this week.

Blessings!! Courage! Faith!

samurai said...

I will pray for you PJ. And to be honest, it is finding others who are dealing with things (potentially) far worse things, that make me reluctant to even pursue it any more.

May God hold your hand as you go through this.

ybiC

Susan said...

I'm praying for you. I know that it can be confusing, but I also know that finding out what's happening inside helps with everything.

Susan