Music Monday - 20100503

Way back when, when i was set up a blind date with my Beloved's roommate in college i had no idea the road God would lead me down - despite my "better" efforts.  Still, while we were dating, i distinctly remember a moment in time.  We were riding in the back seat of some friends (who are now married and one is the music ministry pastor at the church we now attend) and i was "interviewing" my Beloved (for lack of a better term) ~ asking her about her thoughts regarding certain theological "veins" (i wanted to know what she thought instead of making any assumptions).  But that is not what i am trying to get at. 

I distinctly remember thinking God was speaking to me.  Telling me that He would use me to share things that i had learned, in the area where we now live.  In hind sight i am glad that i did not just run with it, because while i was confident that it was God who had impressed such a thing on my heart, i doubted my own heart.  I was concerned that it was my own pride that had spawned such thoughts.  So, instead i just went about my life.

Several times in the eighteen years since i have had people tell me that they either thought i was in the ministry, or that i should go into the ministry.  However, in all that time i have never had the confirmation from my soul-mate that she thought or believe the same thing.  At least not full time ministry.  Recently God has been re-impressing my heart with a passion for His glory and to proclaim Him in front of others.  To be honest i am scared.  I doubt my own ability, i doubt my own mine, and i am highly suspect of my own pride.  However, about a month ago i stepped out when our Pastor asked that those in the congregation who felt a calling to serve to speak up - not during the service or anything.  Anyway, i mentioned it to him, including my own reservations and suspicions of my own heart.  Since then i have been approached by the youth leader, there may be opportunities to address the youth in the future. 

The best thing that this has brought on is that it has driven me to my knees more often.  One morning this past week while i was crying out to Jesus for His hand to drive and move, and not me in my own pride, this song came on the radio and it just... kind of hit home.

Revelation
by Third Day

My life has led me down the road that’s so uncertain

And now I am left alone and I am broken,
Tryin’ to find my way, tryin’ to find the faith that’s gone

This time, I know that you are holding all the answers
I’m tired of losing hope and taking chances,
On roads that never seem,
To be the ones that bring me home

Give me a revelation,
Show me what to do
Cause I’ve been tryin’ to find my way,
I haven’t got a clue
Tell me should I stay here,
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I’ve got nothing without You
I’ve got nothing without You

My life has led me down this path that’s ever winding
Through every twist and turn I’m always finding,
That I am lost again (I am lost again)
Tell me when this road will ever end
Give me a revelation,
Show me what to do
Cause I’ve been tryin’ to find my way,
I haven’t got a clue
Tell me should I stay here,
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I’ve got nothing without You
I’ve got nothing without

I don’t know where I can turn
Tell me when will I learn
Won’t You show me where I need to go
Oh oh
Let me follow Your lead,
I know that it’s the only way that I can get back home

Give me a revelation,
Show me what to do
Cause I’ve been trying to find my way,
I haven’t got a clue
Tell me should I stay here,
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I’ve got nothing without You
I’ve got nothing without You

Oh, give me a revelation

I’ve got nothing without You
I’ve got nothing without You

May God show each of us what His perfect plan may be.