20060728

As only a zombie can

I feel like I am on the edge of just shutting down. This whole week I could feel myself wearing out little by little, and sleep did not seem to take the edge off. It's been a slightly less hectic week than normal. I mean we actually had a night with nothing to do ;) This morning I woke up and I just could not get the motor running. I did a few routine things and I sat in my chair to read some. I barely kept my eyes open through two chapters and then fell asleep again - waking up just in time to get dressed and out the door for work. Last night I go the kids in bed at 9 - which is early for the summer time - and myself as well. At 10:15 I could not fall asleep so I took 1/2 of a sleep aid (always garunteed to make me groggy the next day) and was out about 10:30. The wife coming home from her meeting was the first thing that interupted my sleep. Then toss and turned. Then at 3:something a clattering toy - that fell of a child's bed - woke me for a little while. I've just not been sleeping well lately. The business venture thing is not going well - but I have some ideas to move forward. Things have been tense between my beloved and I - in a very real way I have let her down. She is not feeling secure in my care and I don't know how to get it back for her. There are times it feels like once I've lost that step it is near impossible to regain it. The kids are ansy and need to get back into the routine of the school year. I could go on, but why bother. It will just bore you all. And I know a lot of it is simply a lack of trust in God. If it was just me it would be an easy reset. I just keep preaching to myself and my mind set will change - but when it comes to preaching it and teaching it to others... it just seems to get lost in translation somehow and the burdens just keep piling up. And to take a cavalier attitude about it - just doesn't help. Verse for today: Psalm 136:1-9, esv Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever. Give thanks to the God of gods, for his steadfast love endures forever. Give thanks to the Lord of lords, for his steadfast love endures forever; to him who alone does great wonders, for his steadfast love endures forever; to him who by understanding made the heavens, for his steadfast love endures forever; to him who spread out the earth above the waters, for his steadfast love endures forever; to him who made the great lights, for his steadfast love endures forever; the sun to rule over the day, for his steadfast love endures forever; the moon and stars to rule over the night, for his steadfast love endures forever; I encourage you to read the entire Psalm on this one. :)

3 comments:

Bob said...

That is one of my favorite Psalms. Well that one and the 23rd. Very comforting in time of intensity.

Def Jeff said...

email me sometime diggidy dogg

Def Jeff said...

slowed up a bit, eh?