20060309

Dealing with Disappointment

I once heard someone say, "Disappointment occurs when expectations exceed experience". I had the day off yesterday and my beloved had told me that she wanted to have some "special" time. She wanted to essentially return in kind my Valentine's day gift to her. The day started a little rough. I got up to get the boys ready for school, and then get them too school. Due to my inexperience we were a little late getting out of the gate, but both boys made it to school on time - even earlier than they are used to. When I returned home she wanted to workout - which I expected so I gave my darling daughter a bath, and prepared to jump in the shower. Well, my wife was on the phone for a while, and I was not exactly racing through the bath sequence for our daughter. It was my day off after all. So by 10:30 the wife has not started her workout yet. By this time I am already thinking that our "special" time was not going to happen. We don't leave to go out to lunch until 12:30 - and we don't get home until 2:30. She needs to leave to pick up the boys from school NLT 3:05 - so she leaves me in mid-massage to get a nap and for her to get the boys. She returns at 3:40, but does not even come upstairs until 4:15ish. And we need to get two to music classes soon. My beloved gives a great back and leg massage, but with four kids running around the house on the other side of the bedroom door... We get home from music classes at 8:30 - and low and behold niether son has their homework done, and one of them still needs a shower. Oh, and there are 3 loads of laundry to fold. By the time all kids are in bed, and the laundry is folded it is now 10:30 and mom and dad fall asleep in very short order. Litterally by 10:30 yesterday morning I already anticipated that our "special" time would be pushed by the wayside. I was still disappointed, but I was still able to enjoy the day. When my beloved asked me both last night and again this morning if I enjoyed our day together I replied that I had fun. She seemed upset with that answer. I told her that I was disappointed about our interupted time, but that I still enjoyed our time together. With being honest with her it seemed to make her disappointed, but at the same time I want her to know that id she desires "special" time with me, that I need for her to make it a priority and not just me. At the same time I am trying to encourage her in the things she is doing. Sometimes I worry that things will fold up and we will become a "stereotypical" old couple, but then I see signs of things to come and I rejoice. Verse for today: Song of Solomon 6:2-3 esv She My beloved has gone down to his garden to the beds of spices, to graze in the gardens and to gather lilies. I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine; he grazes among the lilies.

6 comments:

Def Jeff said...

wow... thas' awesome bro,,,...

ALP said...

Well my friend - things never really go as planned but I am so very happy that you were honest with her. I think to often you hold back what you really want to say for fear of the reaction you will get from her.

Special time is special because it is the two of you. It might not be what you want the special time to be but it was still special.

ysiC,
Amy

samurai said...

Thank you both for the encouragement.

Jeff - I was wondering if you still dropped by. :) Praying for you.

Def Jeff said...

thanx... you have no idea what that means ter me...

Todd said...

samuri,
first time i've been here, but i'll probably be coming back from time to time. we always have to go away for those kinds of days. no way to do it that close to the normal buzz of life. i really like your links (except you might replace the Panther's site with a Bengal's one).

samurai said...

Welcome to my dojo Todd. Man, the Bengals should have gone farther this year! But hey, they need time to really cultivate a winning tradition. ;~)