Ramblin' Man

I had to search a little bit to find this fine piece of flair. When i was younger i remember tagging along with my mom to her favorite "watering hole" - usually on a Saturday. My brother and i would be given one, maybe two, rolls of quarters for our entertainment that had to last all day. That was when i fell in love with the 'silverball'. Just out of necessity i became fairly decent. Although i probably would never have won any competitions, i was able to keep myself entertained with free games with high scores and matches. I was so into Pinball that the song "Pinball Wizard" felt like my theme song. One time, after i got home from school, i was a little bored so i walked to my mom's Pub of choice to play a couple of games. It was small "family-like" place, and the owner's knew me by name. When i got there i got change for a dollar (back then you could play a game for a quarter) and the owner gave me Coke on the house (yes, we were there that often). Just as a dropped a quarter in my favorite machine in walked a State Trooper. The whole place got quiet as the trooper walked right up to me to ask me a few questions. Long story short - he said i matched the description of a runaway and wanted to see if i was him. The past week or so my area has been getting rain everyday. Well, at least some rain every day. Enough to keep the grass wet and not "ideal" for cutting. To be honest i did have a window of opportunity on Saturday, but because my mind was elsewhere i really didn't take advantage of it. Although i did edge around the house. Well, yesterday the rain held off and the grass was pretty dry so i pulled out the walk-behind and went to work. Wouldn't you know, less than halfway through it started to rain pretty lightly. Not so much as to drive me inside so i plugged along. I finally got to the halfway point when the sky just opened up! That was enough for me to call it a night. It went against my sense of wanting to keep working until i was finished (i hate leaving things halfway done), but i really couldn't keep going at that point. I am hoping to finish tonight. I don't mind all the rain we are getting because i LOVE rain. I was actually enjoying myself while i was out there... it was just no longer practical to keep going. This morning i had a trouble come in from a remote site. I originally thought it was an issue that i've been working since last June, but it turned out to be a fresh report of a trouble from the same site. The problem is that a remote office has two even more remote locations that connect via two physical circuits that each have three "logical" circuits configured on them - each having the ability to use up the entire physical capacity of the links. So you have say a two gallon pipe, but it is possible to have six gallons worth of data trying to flow through it. And then we get complaints of slow response or unable to connect to whatever they need to connect to. I would really like to know who thought that was a good idea. I know there is usually a lot of "dead time" on circuits... but this is not trying to rent out a recording studio or something. Anyway... it is "interesting" to say the least. When i retired last July there were two other "old timers" who retired within 30 days of me. I had known both of them since i had joined Alpha Battery back in 1999, been deployed with them, and generally became pretty good friends with them. So one of them tells me, "we have got to keep in touch". Well, out of the three of us we started meeting together about every other month for breakfast. To talk shop, tell stories that we have all heard a hundred times - if not lived out in person, and just keep in touch. Well, somehow i have become the defacto organizer of these get togethers. I don't mind, but i am not sure i am the best one to dor it. Anyway, we were supposed to meet this month but life kept me busy and i had not set anything up, and then yesterday i get an e-mail from one of the guys asking me when the next one is. Doh! So i picked a day in June and sent out e-mails and messages from Facebook. Only after i sent out the notice did i realize that the day i had picked i will be away with my family on vacation. 8/ Oh well. I will organize this get together and begin preperations for August for the next one. The group has grown from the original 5 or so, to about 2 dozen worth of invitations now being sent out. I am bummed about missing this one, but at least the rest of them can get together. Last night, while i was mowing the lawn but before the rain really started coming down, i was listening to my MP3 player and a sermon from CJ Mahaney came on. Normally i will skip to the next random track on the player until a song comes on. Mostly because i have a hard enough time hearing the words over the mower, but this time i left it on. It was a sermon titled "Sovereign Grace". It was amazingly powerful - even over the distraction of the lawn mower and my meanderings around my yard. It has made me desire to be more broken hearted over my sins. Not to try and "own" them again - as a Christian i have entrusted my life to Christ - and He has paid for those sins in full. But it is so that i just appreciate more what it cost my Savior. That sin is not to be taken light hearted, or off-handed. There was a cost associated with that sin. And not just that "one", but all of them. If it were not for Jesus it would be me that would have to stand before God and ultimately be sent away. But it is because i do not see my own sin as severely as i should there are some sins i enter in almost with out thought. Sins that get repeated over and over because to some extent i have not truly repented of - and to me that is scary! Websters.com defines 'repent' as follows:
re⋅pent 1 [ri-pent] Show IPA
–verb (used without object)
1. to feel sorry, self-reproachful, or contrite for past conduct; regret or be conscience-stricken about a past action, attitude, etc. (often fol. by of): He repented after his thoughtless act.
2. to feel such sorrow for sin or fault as to be disposed to change one's life for the better; be penitent.
–verb (used with object)
3. to remember or regard with self-reproach or contrition: to repent one's injustice to another.
4. to feel sorry for; regret: to repent an imprudent act.
For the most part i don't feel that i regret my sins enough. Have i leaned on grace so heavily that i no longer feel the need to repent!?! Dear lord, please let it not be so.

1 comment:

Susan said...

There's a lot to think about in this post.