20090512

Happy Mother's Day - belated

Work has been "weird" lately. Insanely busy for a stretch, then slow for a bit - but usually off kilter just enough i have a hard time focusing on what my "to do" list is. Then, late last week, i was told i needed to get set up to work from home as a sort of "pandemic exercise". I am not a big fan of change (which i'm pretty sure i've mentioned before) so it took me a little while to get settled in, and then today one of my co-workers went home sick... so then i got yanked back into the office. I'm getting dizzy! Anyway, with Mother's Day this past weekend i had wanted to do an entry on my moms. My mom and dad divorced when i was very young. Off the top of my head i'd say i was less than 5. Anyway, she fought hard for my brother and i. She worked several jobs, and actually had to hire a nanny to watch us Monday through Friday. We would be dropped off at the woman and her family's house on Monday morning, and we would be picked up Friday night. Then came the custody battle. Buch each step of the way my mom fought to keep us. Although that may not have been the best thing for my brother and me, she loved us and fought for us. She had a lot of "blemishes", but wanting the best for us and wanting us to be with her was not one of them. One result of my parents getting divorced was that my father remarried in the early 70's (shame on me for not remember exactly when). There were two periods of time when my brother and i lived with them. The first time was just before the custody battle. We lived with my father in Brooklyn, NY for about 2 years after my mom had a serious car accident. My step-mom was thrust into the role of mother of two boys, who were not very mindful of her, all the while she was working on her Phd. And she put up with a LOT. When my father lost the custody battle (i found out later) it tore her up. It was deep a loss for her as it was my father (whom i later found out took the high road when it came to the court testimonies, etc. because there really was a lot of "dirt" he could have used and chose not to). In between the two times we lived with my dad and step-mother, we would visit on weekends, and when my dad took a job in San Francisco we would spend the summers there. Then, in the early 80's my mother had "mistakenly" taken an overdose of a Rx medicine (i don't really know what happened for sure, but it was questionable) i had to call my father late one night when my mom had not come home. He came out and picked up my brother and i. We both packed a single suitcase of clothes, maybe a toy or two, and we moved in with my dad again. When my mother got out of the hospital my dad had to tell my mother that unless she gave up custody she would have to take us back immediately. Now, on the surface that sounds really harsh, but i understand now... it would have put my dad and step mom through another season of getting really attached and then having to say goodbye again. My mother passed away in December of 2000, and although we were not as close as we should have been, she was my mother. I did not always "honor" my mother either, but i have grown to appreciate her intentions and gloss over her actions. Since my step-mother came into my life by marrying my father she has made every effort to reach out and care for me as if i were her own. And again - i have not always been the best behaved young man towards her - she has become in a very real sense my mother. Not a replacement, but second mother figure in my life. I truly appreciate all she has done, and continues to do, in my life.
Happy mothers day MOMS!

1 comment:

Ms. Coffee said...

Since I have not gotten here till now I still plan on commenting.

I sooooooo needed this blog. You have no idea.

You made me cry.

You are a very sweet man and I hope if your "mom" does not have access to this blog you copy and sent her this post.