Ever see the train derailment scene in "The Fugitive"?

That is kind of how my thoughts feel this morning, so sit down and hold on.  This is going to be a rambling ride! 8)

Well, to start things off... i do not have a Music Monday offering this week.   I've just not had my head wrapped around worship songs of late.  I still love music, especially music that extols the Lord, but i've just not "been there" so to speak.  Hopefully i will have one for next Monday.

My Beloved and i actually got out on a date Saturday night.  I know, we couldn't believe it either.  We "cashed in" some points to get movie tickets and went to see Up in the Air.  Over all we liked the movie, but we were not overly happy with the story line (specifically the ending).  What we did like was the changes George Clooney's character made in his thinking and life.  In many ways it can challenge you to think about your over all life choices, and that can be a good thing.

Yesterday, overall, was nice and relaxing.  I got the kids all up for church (me beloved has been sick of late) and when we got home, DD went over to a friend's house for the afternoon, DS1 was taken to the movies by his mom (my Beloved of course ), so it was just me a DS2.  He had some homework to do so while he was doing that i watched some NFL playoffs, and during his breaks we played some Mario Cart.  Later we watched Merry Madagascar and played a little bit more.  Then when he went off to play more Mario Cart by himself i started up a fire in the fireplace, kicked back and watched yet more NFL football, and scribbled notes in my notebook about short story ideas.  The Cardinals and Packers game was fun to watch as i am not a particular fan of either team (i enjoyed the Panthers x2 overtime win against the Rams more, but i am prejudice in that regard ), although i was rooting for Kurt Warner.  Next week i am cheering for the Saints, the Ravens, The Chargers, and the Vikings.

Last week my Paternal Step-Grandmother (i never really knew my "natural" one) passed away a little unexpectedly.  She was in her 80's so it is not a complete surprise, but no one really knew she was sick (it was a respiratory thing).  Every year she would make up this Lemon Bark... YUM!  Everyone we shared it with really likes it too.  This year she also sent my beloved and i a crocheted blanket.  It's so soft and warm!  When i told my beloved she was heartbroken and was despondent about not having sent her a thank you card yet.  It's at times like this that i REALLY feel disconnected from the world.  I didn't feel sad... i still don't.  Confused maybe.  But to be honest i really am not sure how to feel.  I wanted to react like my beloved did, but just can't.  I went back and forth about going to her funeral later this week.  Mostly because of the cost, but my beloved has really encouraged me to go.  it will be three days overall.  About eight hours out, then the next day the memorial and funeral, then about eight hours driving back home.  She was the last of my Grand Parents to pass away.

The subject of "being all things to all people" first came up last week at a fellow "Elf Blogger's" web site (Thoughts of a Wood Elf), and seems to have been a recurring theme in my life of late.  The scripture reference is 1 Corinthians 9, specifically verses 19-23.  I am "chewing" on what Paul was meaning, as well as the verses of not being a stumbling block to others.

In closing God has taught me a lesson this weekend... well, i hope i have learned it.  You see... i can tend to get obsessed over some things.  I've noticed this trend in myself, and sometimes i am able to discipline myself to refrain until the urge passes, but on Friday this was not one of those times.

Recently i was doing some "research" in regards to one of the characters i am writing about.  In desiring to know more about the background of this particular "profession" (for lack of a better word coming to mind) i began to Google my query.Eventually i learned that Games Workshop had indeed written an article about the particular subject i so desired.  And since it is their "world" afterall, i REALLY wanted to get my hands on that particular article.  So, in my haste i did the following things, 1) I went to a Fansite and posted on their message board what i was looking for, 2) i then found it on eBay and placed a bid for the magazine.  3) Later i happened to mention to "Tulip" that i was searching for something and how i wished i had her amazing WWW searching skills.  Later she comes back and tells me about this Gaming store on-line that had the exact issue i was looking for.  In my haste i bought the magazine from the store.  Then, later on in the evening someone responds from the Fansite and tells me that he is willing to ship it to me FREE!  So, because i am not patient i will now have three copies of the magazine that i would like to have.  If i had been patient i would not have had to pay ANYTHING for this article.  As it stands i have paid for it once so far, i am on the hook for the eBay auction should i win it (which is pretty likely).  Sometimes God just lets us running face first into the walls when we are really not seeking Him first.

Getting on with December

Wow... it's 2 December already. So much going on after a long weekend that I am just going to ramble some points... I am halfway through my self imposed Facebook fast. I did this because i really had to step away and curtail the amount of time i surfed, etc. Facebook is a great tool IMO, but it can easily become a distraction. The Panthers managed to pull out an emotional win in Green Bay this past Sunday. Still, the Panthers almost managed to lose this game. Up 21-10 at the half the Packers took the lead with less than 2:00 to go. If not for a great 45 yard kick-off return by Mark Jones, and then an incredible 54 yard catch (over the shoulder at full stride) by Steve Smith ending up with a 1st and goal - the Panthers lose this game. Personally i think this is a good team win, but the Buccaneers are coming into Charlotte with 1st place in the NFC South up for grabs. And right now the Bucs own the tie breaker with a 3-27 victory in their house in week 6. Overall i am quite pleased that the Panthers will post an overall winning season (only their 4th in their short 14 year history). I want to believe that the Panthers can take the NFC South this year, but it will HAVE to start next Monday night with a win over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers! I am slowly getting my self organized. My deck passed the framing inspection yesterday \o/ so i can now turn my attention to the deck boards and step (or two). As a result i have actually had a chance to start playing Fallout 3. For me this game is really good to play with my sort of schedule. I have been able to pick it up, play it for 30-45 minutes and then save it and walk away. In my opinion that makers of this game managed to capture the turn based aspect of its predecessors as well as the overall atmosphere. I am also enjoying how they captured the 1st person games that are popular today. So far i have not had any trouble playing the game as a "goody two-shoes". I have managed to avoid getting into the fights that were set up as part of the pre-wandering storyline inside Vault 101. Although i know this will not be the case throughout the entire game i like the fact that you can make choices like that. The past six days were really nice. Having taken both Wednesday and yesterday off from work gave me a six day mini-vacation. Even though the first five were filled with our normal family/holiday running around yesterday was to be 'dedicated' to just me and my beloved. It was the first opportunity i had to focus on just her and celebrate our 16th anniversary. The original plan was for us to enjoy a nice lunch and catch a movie, but no plan ever survives "contact with the enemy" (in my case - real life). We did manage to get out for a nice brunch, but then spent the rest of our time shopping because my beloved hates to shop. More importantly, she hates to shop alone. With Christmas coming, not to mention two out of three of our children's birthdays coming up there was a lot to do. *sigh* To me that is not focusing on one another, but that seems to be the season of life we are in, and attempts by me are being sort of diverted in order to save money. I need to get better at looking for 'cheaper' ways to get out... Well, that is all i have for now... i have to get back to work... God bless you all...

After eleven weeks the NASCAR Division is showing to be a formidable foe

After twelve weeks of play (eleven games plus the bye week) the NFC South has a combined total of two (2) loses at their respective homes. The New Orleans Saints, who currently occupy the 4th place within the division. are 6-5. The only other division that can boast a similar record is the AFC East (but I am not sure about the home win-loss record). With five weeks left to play and each NFC South team having at least two divisional games left - it is still wide open. For the Panthers to come out on top they had better find their run defense again, and the passing game had best pick up on offense. The game in Green Bay this week is going to be a tough go. Carolina is 1-3 at the "Frozen Tundra", 3-7 overall life time. Oh, and one last thing... this past weekend both the Atlanta Falcons and the New Orleans Saints sported their all black uniforms. (Since I do not have permission from the NFL to repost pictures you will have to click on the teams respective links to see what I mean.) If there is ANY team in the NFL that should sport an all black uniform it would HAVE to be the Carolina Panthers! I mean, come on! Their mascot is a BLACK CAT for crying out loud! LOL Ok, on to more serious pursuits. Late last week I was approached, by who I am assuming is a young man, to see if I would be willing to answer a few questions regarding my belief in Christ and how I see myself as a samurai in the Lord's service. I answered two questions for him so far, and have hopefully left the door open for further interaction. Here are the two questions posed to me, and my corresponding answers:

1. when it comes to complete devotion: Jesus already died for our sins, so do you think it is more of Disrespect and basically outright dis belief to be so willing to die for Christ?

I think your perception of what is happening may be a little off. There is a big difference between what Christ’s death did accomplish, and what our death would accomplish. Christ’s death was for the atonement of our (mankind’s) sins against a Holy and Righteous God.

“For Christ also suffered[1] once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit”

--- 1 Peter 3 : 18, ESV ([1]Some manuscripts died)

Our death would be in service to Christ. Not as an atonement, but in submission for what He has done. Often our “death” is not to be in the termination from this world, but a “death” to our preferences.

“And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.”

--- Luke 9 : 23-24, ESV

So, to answer your question, “Do you think it is more of disrespect and basically outright disbelief to be so willing to die for Christ?” I would say this: I do not find my willingness to die for Christ as a sign of disrespect or disbelief because such an act could never be a substitution for His death. I am in no way trying to put my act (or works) in place of Christ. His act provided my complete justification before God. My act would be a minor part in my sanctification. Now, if I were to view my death as to some how being a part of my salvation, then yes it would be disrespectful. It would be saying, “Christ, what You accomplished on the cross was insufficient. It is incomplete until I add my part to it.” But that is not how I view it, nor should anyone. We serve not because we earn, we serve because we have been given.

2. "denounce faith or die": In the book Silence, the author talks about how Christians were forced to step on a picture of Christ, or else they would be killed. This is the kind of thing that God would not be *mad at you for doing (*I don't know how to say that). In this situation, God would rather you step on the picture than die, right?

There is a verse that speaks directly to this question:

“So everyone who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven, but whoever denies me before men, I also will deny before my Father who is in heaven.”

--- Matthew 10 : 32-33, ESV

What this act is signifying is the denial of Christ. The person is rejecting Christ and His teachings before those men who told them to do this. I would also refer back to Luke 9 :23-24…

“And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.”

--- Luke 9 : 23-24, ESV

How we view Christ, who He is, what He has done, our response to such things, is of the highest importance.

Weekend ramblings

What a crazy week... i have had to burn some midnight oil twice this week and i just don't bounce back like i used to. It feels good to shake off some of the rust, but tiring at the same time. Let's see... with the mind all cloudy i am just going to ramble some... My new/used laptop arrived earlier this week. I have the battery all charged up, but i haven't powered it up yet. Just too many other priorities. :) If all goes well, and there is time after DD3's birthday party, working on the deck, helping with DS1's science fair project, etc. i am hoping to get Fallout 3 loaded. Before i jump in there are a lot of things i want to get set up on there. Some pinball sims, some story outline software, and music all loaded up. It will take a while, but it's nice that it is here. I'm not sure who is more excited... me, or DS1. *chuckle* The Panthers are going to have a couple of serious tests in the next two weeks. On the road in Atlanta where historically they have struggled. Even with winning the last 4 times they are still overall at a disadvantage in their dome. Then next week they head out to Green Bay. I know the Panthers are the #2 team in the NFC right now... but i want to see how well they do in these last six games. It doesn't matter what the record is, it only matters how well you can play other good teams once the post season hits. Will the Panthers roar into the post season, or limp? If they want to go far then they need to be able to step up their play, and these next two games could be pretty good indicators on how satisfied i with the 2008 season as a Carolina Panthers fan. I caught wind of a 5 min. trailer for the upcoming Terminator: Salvation movie, but so far have not been able to find it on the web. I've also heard that the director (maybe it was the producer), have two more ideas for possibly a second trilogy of the series. \o/ wOOt! The I have also heard about another movie, "The Road"... I've never read the book, but it appears to be a Pulitzer prize winner so maybe i need to do that. Well, I am out of time for today... but i would encourage any one who reads this to spend some time in the Word of God this weekend...