I need to confess something.  I struggle with condemnation of others, of those who i feel should know better, but for whatever reason just don't.  There is no way i can possibly justify these feelings.  For some reason i got into watching a series of YouTube videos depicting several people and families who have left the Morman church.  I learned some new things, but I am still comfortable on my views of that faith as a whole.  If interested, you may see the videos for yourself here - YouTube Video and more.

No matter where someone else is, even if it is an area that the Bible is clear on, i have no right to condemn anyone.  (“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you." (Matthew 7:1-2 ESV)) That is clearly in the Bible.  That does not mean that the other person is not in sin, or in error, but that i have no right to condemn that person for being where they are in their walk through life.  We all have a sense that we are not "there" yet, and we get down on ourselves to some degree, and so we try and 'place ourselves' within the context of others.  If they are messing up, than you must be better than they are, right?  In the end, only God the Father will be our Judge, and we will all be guilty before Him.  That is, unless we have trusted the Lord Jesus Christ to be our substitute, our propitiation.  Even then, it is not anything we have/had done.  We can only be faithful with what He has entrusted to us and share as we can. 

"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast."  (Ephesians 2:1-9 ESV)

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While listening to WTOP (an all news station out of Washington, D.C.) i heard a report about G and PG rated movies are significantly less this year compared to last.  I am still not sure of the reason, but i do remember hearing that most, if not all, of the other studios have cleared the way for The Hobbit to be mostly unopposed in regards to opening weekends for the upcoming date.  I thought that was pretty funny.  My beloved and i are really looking forward to this movie, but after looking over our schedule it looks like we will not be seeing the movie until Sunday evening at the earliest.  I am out of touch with the general vibe of most of America, so i am not sure how well the Hobbit being expanded to three movies over all.  Personally i am pretty stoked.  I've always known that Peter Jackson did his very best (along with his fellow screen writers Fran Walsh and Philippa Boyens) would do their very best to be as faithful to the book, as well as find ways to incorporate a lot of the 'back story' from the various true canon sources.  The listed run time of "The Unexpected Journey" is 2:46, which i am quite thrilled about - AND, the 'extended version, on BluRay to be released later, will have an additional 25 minutes.  Love it.

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I am trying to set goals for myself in regards to running.  There are four running events in the coming years i hope to do.  Two are 5k races, one is an 8k race, and the other is a 10 mile deal.  To be honest, i have not met my goals for this year (which were to walk 300 miles, and run 150), but each race entered has an entrance fee and would be added impetus.  Each race has something that is attractive to me.  One is for cancer research,

when in shape

One is to raise donations for under privileged children, and one is to promote wellness among children in my area (sort of like the Play60 campaign, but a lot more localized).  The 10 miler, is the Army race run every year.  That one is really hard to get in to, and i do not have confidence in myself to actually be ready for it this year.  I spoke with my beloved, and i received what felt like a half hearted endorsement... but, i think she is behind me.  Especially if it helps me get DS2 in better overall shape.  More to follow - i hope.

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Musical Monday

I wanted to use the song "What If" by Nichole Nordman today. I really like this song because I have trouble sharing my faith. Not because I don't believe, but because I can get pretty worked up and emotional. I have taken my time to research various things, but I am not really good at regurgitating what I have learned. Basically, I am not a very good debater.

I get tired of being thought of as 'closed minded', or that I am a believer because Jesus is now my 'crutch'. I have also found that even when the Holy Spirit is speaking through me (those moments I think, "whoa, where do that come from!"), and the other person just dismisses the point, I can get very frustrated. And yet we are not to grow tired doing this very thing. We may not all be gifted in hospitality or evangilism, but when opportunities present itself we should move forward in it. I am not perfect in my 'execution' of this either...

"What If" by Nichole Nordeman

What if you’re right
And he was just another nice guy
What if you’re right
What if it’s true
They say the cross will only make a fool of you
And what if it’s true?

What if he takes his place in history
With all the prophets and the kings
Who taught us love and came in peace
But then the story ends
What then?

But what if you’re wrong
What if there’s more
What if there’s hope you never dreamed of hoping for
What if you jump?
And just close your eyes?
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He’s more than enough?
What if it’s love?

What if you dig
Way down deeper than your simple-minded friends
What if you dig
What if you find
A thousand more unanswered questions down inside
That’s all you find?

What if you pick apart the logic
And begin to poke the holes
What if the crown of thorns is no more
Than folklore that must be told and retold?

You’ve been running as fast as you can
You’ve been looking for a place you can land for so long
But what if you’re wrong?

How many of you have had these kind of discussions? I know I have had many, including painful ones with my own family. But I also have had one that makes me joyfully hopeful.

I had one final such conversation with my mother as she lay dying in a hospital in Hinesville, GA in 2000. You see, my mother had two sisters (one has since passed away as well) that believed "all roads lead to heaven", and apparently my Grandfather was not a "Leave it to Beaver" type (to put it mildly). For years I could not persuade my mother that either Jesus Christ is a liar, or He is the truly the One. As my mother lay dying, not able to respond beyond a weak nod of the head and meeting of the eyes, my then sister-in-law started talking to her about her new age beliefs. I just stood there and let her go on and on, but then she left and I had chance to share.

I point blank asked her, "you do know that there is a difference between what was saying, and what I am saying, right?" She looked at me, and nodded her head. I then asked if she would liek me to read to her from the Bible and she nodded again. It was the last thing she would communicate to me. In the end, do I know if she accepted Christ as her Savior? I do not know it first hand, but others have told me so. I hope it is so. One day I will know for sure.

I encourage those who may stumble across this humble blog, and this post, take the time to research things. Lee Strobel has been helpful to me, so has Robert Cornuke and his BASE Institute.

The one thing I have learned is that it is all of God. No matter if you believe in pre-destination, or free-will, I thnk we can all agree that if it were not for God opening our eyes to the gospel, if it were not for the divine plan of redemption, it would all be for naught.

I may not be able to convince someone that there is an eternal decision to be made, but God can reveal it to them... and that is my prayer.



Verse for today:
Ephesians 2:4-10, ESV
But [2] God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

I'm sayin', but I'm not sayin'

I have been receiving some really good, thoughtful, comments from my blog entry the other day, titled 'The Objective and the subjective'. But I think I am being mis-understood. In regards to God changing His mind. Did God really change His mind regarding Sodom and Gomorah, or was He teaching Abraham to be concerned with the welfare of others? Was it God saying, "maybe I shouldn't destroy these cities", or was it God shaping Abraham to teach him that He can interact with God regarding such things? I mean, in the end the cities were still destroyed. Only Lot and his daughters were saved. In the end, our input is heard by God, and I firmly believe if we "ask not", we will not see any changes. God desires our interaction that is for sure. His Word is clear in that we are to seek Him, petition Him, and ask Him for things. This is one of those things that we will enjoy getting to know about God as we walk with Him. The second item brought up was regarding 1 Corinthians 9:20-23. There is definetly no one right way to preach the Gospel. I fully believe Pastor Orsteen is sincere in his efforts to reach the lost for the sake of Christ. And I fully believe that he is doing that. But, if we allow those who are brought through the doors to remain in such a state they will at best remain ignorant of exactly what God has accomplished with Christ going to the cross, and at worst they will remain connected to the church because it is so welcoming - but remain seperated from God, never having seen the need to accept His work on the cross. America is full of people professing to be Christians, but having a schewed view of what exactly being a Christian means. And they are from all points of view. Some that are incredibly legalistic (*), while others are the exact opposite (God's grace in all things, no matter what I do). We have churches that are failing to grow spiritually, or even worse they misrepresent God. God is unchanging (Malachi), His ways are perfect (2 Samuel), He cannot lie (Numbers), and He cannot contradict Himself, thus my concern for what I perceive as a misrepresentation of God. Especially when it is in the context of we being able to change God's mind when it comes to 'difficulties' or 'hardships'. And when the message is consistantly leaning towards how good and gracious He is, without any mention of why God is so good and gracious to us, then I am concerned. I never debated that the situation changed for the King in 2 Kings, and I never said that Pastor Osteen was preaching a false gospel (if he ever mentions it at all) or that he is not bringing people to Christ. What I am trying to say is that - I feel - that it is a weakened presentation, and that it does not fully represent the God to whom he is calling people to. "And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent." (John 17:3, ESV) "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him." (John 3:17, ESV) Some people when they come to Christ are not ready to hear what they have been saved from, others cannot be saved without knowing it. Some people come to Christ in an instant and/or when they are very young. Others after many years of faithful witness and/or when they are older. Some people are never ready to hear the "whistle of the train coming". No matter how we are brought to Him can we ever adequetly justify a complacency, an "I have arrived" type attitude if you were? And what about looking to ourselves for change? If you've ever heard "The Message" this is exactly what is being presented. When we constantly look to ourselves, we eventually fail. We "work out our own salvation" (Phillipians 2:12), but we never achieve the ultimate goal on our own - our salvation, without God's gift of grace (Ephesians 2:8-10). It is one thing to presnt a "feel good message" in order to draw people to Christ, it is another thing entirely to present a false image of God. When that happens we are creating idols, and I think we know how God deals with idols. Before I "close out" this blog entry I think I need to also say that, when I stand before the throne of God, and my life is reviewed, I am confident that there are a great number of things (I dare say - most) that I will be mistaken on. I know that my views are not perfect. But I feel compelled to share these concerns - and thus I have prayed, I rely, and I trust that the Holy Spirit will use these imperfect words as He sees fit, and ultimately for His glory. If what we "know" contradicts what His Word says, we must carefully examine our own heart and mind, and ask for Him to reveal it to us - because ultimately we are subjective, and He is objective. Verse for today: Numbers 23:18-19, ESV “Rise, Balak, and hear; give ear to me, O son of Zippor: God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it? * the definition I find most helpful was summarized by CJ Mahaney (in one place in his book "The Cross Centered Life", by Multinomah books, 2002, pg 25, para. 2), he summarizes it like this, "Legalism is seeking to achieve forgiveness from God and acceptance by God, through obedience to God."

A verse that keeps coming back up

Ephesians 4:29-32, ESV Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. This verse seems to have become a theme for me over the past few weeks. Especially as I continue to try and learn how to communicate better with my beloved. I'm a little nervous about sharing this with her... I don't want her to think I am pointing the finger solely at her... but if I feel led to a verse, and feel that God has given it to me to share... than in order to best serve my beloved, and lead her as I should... I need to step forward in faith. I will be away for a little while, but will be back and blogging in no time.

The Power of the tongue

Recently I have become increaingly aware of exactly how much trouble I have communicating accurately with my beloved. I will say something and she will reply, "What do you mean?" And I think over what I was saying, and usually I end up repeating what I said before. It's not just one way either. She will be telling me something and I am replying, "what do you mean?". LOL But it's not just when we are talking to each other. In general it's about the overall assumptions.

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. (Ephesians 4:29, ESV)

And yet I struggle at times with this when dealing with my own wife. :( And there is so much I wish I could tell her... and vice versa. Verse for today: Ephesians 5:25-33, ESV Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. [1] In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

What is a Father to do?

Yesterday was just a whirlwind. I did not even realize that I failed to blog until I was on my way home. Just before I left I received a phone call from my beloved. DS2 has lost a field trip next Monday. For the past several month DS2 has been on a 'merit' system to earn the priviledge to go on a fun field trip after the standardized tests. Long story short, he has been having trouble doing his assigned school work and when other kids do things they are not supposed to be doing he eventually hits the other kids. He had been doing so well - up until yestersday. During recess the kids were playing a version of Sharks and Minnows. At one point DS2 tagged another boy who responded "no you didn't". Ok 'nuro-typical' type behavior. The whole "did to", "did not debate" rages across every playground pretty much every day. But my son does not process those kinds of arguments like most of us. I'm sure DS2 was pretty frustrated at this point. Next round DS2 over hears the first "other boy" talking with two others saying "remember the plan"... the sharks call the minnows out - but then did not go for a single other student. They essentially ganged up on my son. I need to say here that the boys may have behaved unfairly, but they did not hit my son (that I know of, and I'm pretty sure my son would have told me if they did). Eventually DS2's frustration escalates to the point he 'hit' one of the other boys in the stomach. To make matters worse he knew he did not do the right thing and then when the teachers came over to sort things out he ran away from them. That was it. Months of hard work on my son's part lost. He was told he is not allowed to go on the field trip. What am I supposed to do!?!? I work with him all the time. We have an IEP (individual education plan) for him. The teachers (and more importantly his assigned aide) know that he does not handle competitive games well. But they gave him a choice (!?!? what !?!?) and he choose to play the game with the other kids. These are supposed to be people that are looking out for my son. They are supposed to know that they need to be within earshot, and maybe even arms reach, when he plays these games with others. I am not trying to say that my son deserves to go on the fieldtrip. There are, and has to be, consequences for things like my son did. He should not be allowed to get away with hitting other students or disobeying the teachers. But what about how these other students treated my son? I see "Charecter Counts" in most of the schools I walk into (conspicously missing in the main hall of DS2's school). I know my son was not quiet the first time the other boy "cheated" by declaring that he was not tagged. I know this because I deal with this at least weekly. The teachers should have seen the frustration rising in my son and pulled him out then. But then when the other boys ignored the rest of the students and then 'ganged' up to make sure they tagged my son what then? Teachers cannot possibly teach moral lessons and expect them to stick - especially if the parents are not teaching them at home. But, if a teacher is seeing a student being treated unfairly shouldn't they reach out? Especially if the 'target' is a handicapped student? I know my son looks normal - hell he even acts normal most of the time - but he has a diagnosed condition known as 'Aspergers'! He has an IEP! He has an Aide! Where were they? And why did they not intervene to help him sooner? Why did they let it get to the point my son felt the only thing left to do was to hit! I teach him ever day. I talk to him, I work with him, I play games and help him see the better way to react to things. But I am not there, I cannot be there, with him in school. My beloved and I do not himeschool for a reason. Sigh, I am just really frustrated right now. Verse for today: Ephesians 6:1-4, ESV Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Questions and Answers

With having a couple of inquires about the questions I exchange with my beloved I thought it might be a good idea to expound upon it. :) Last Fall I was finding that my beloved and I had less and less time to talk about things other than what we were doing that week, that night, or that minute. We would talk, but it was always about what we were going to do for dinner, what the plans were to get everyone to where they needed to go, who had homework, who would run to the store, etc. It was even more difficult to just take her away on a date night. I can't remember how the idea came to me, but I am pretty sure it was not 100% mine. What about exchanging e-mails with my beloved? I e-mail friends and family all the time, but why not with her? There were always questions that came to mind when I was away, but when we were together my mind was focused on something else. And there were questions that I wanted (or had in the past) that felt akward when I said them outloud (I know it should not be that way, but it is really hard to get over that sin nature). First I approached my beloved with the idea. She seemed cautiously agreeable. :) The basics are these: 1) We take turns asking questions. 2) No question is off limits. 3) You allow the other person to answer before asking another question. 4) There is a one week time 'limit' to answer questions. 5) All answers must be completely honest, even if they do not directly answer the question. Now, we have not follwed these guidlines to the letter. For example there have been times it has taken one of us more than a week to answer, and there have been times when I rattled off two questions in quick succession. But for the most part this has been pretty helpful. Over time my beloved has grown more comfortable answering some questions, and others she has been more willing to tell me that she was not ready to talk about such-and-such. I think this has been a wonderful way for me to work on my communication with my beloved. It will never replace "face time", and I still struggle to find time for a regular date night, but it is a good opportunity to talk about things that might otherwise never get talked about. Verse for today: Ephesians 5:25-30, ESV Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. [1] In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.

The foundation of the body

In the past few weeks I have found the true foundation of the human body. It is the spine. A while back I had to replace one of the tires on our minivan. Although it was a little early (about 300 miles) I went ahead and rotated the tires, which I do myself. On the last tire I felt something 'tweak' in my back. So much so that I actually had to take a moment to 'settle down' again. The next day I was not in a lot of obvious pain, but my hands were shaking and it was very uncomfortable to walk or sit. Since then I have been seeing a chiropractor. Although I am feeling a lot better I have learned a bunch of new exercises and techniques. Praise God that there is no serious or permenant damage. I am a little dismayed that the Doc tells me that sometimes these things can take up to two years to get back to 100%, but I am happy with the recovery. I am also very happy that this doctor prefers the McKenzie method over drugs and surgury. He will use the later if needed, but they are not his first choice. I titled this entry as such because I have found out first hand that if your back is not right, there is not much else that is right either. Verse for today: Ephesians 2:19-22, ESV So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, [3] but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by [4] the Spirit.

Wednesdays are becoming my least favorite day of the week

This morning - not only could I not get my lazy butt out of bed, but my beloved decided she was going to vent her displeasure of my shower techniques. At first I said nothing, I mean really what was I going to say? I knew I was going to say something stupid but she would not let up. Finally I told her I've been doing this for fifteen years and I didn't think I'd be changing anytime soon. That was basically the trigger to get the day off to a 'wonderful' start. Add this to a few other things I've been stewing about (and have tried to talk about) I decided to just get out of the house quickly. It should be a long day. Verse for the day: Ephesians 5:25-33, ESV Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. [1] In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.