Edit #3 actually

 So, over the weekend i tinkered with various issue i had with the rough draft.  One was the interaction with Leaf.  The elven woman who storms in behind my protagonist (Aodhan).  She is actually the "Dependent" (Negative Quality) of a fellow player in our group, so i reached out to him for ideas on how she would react, speak, etc.  This caused me to rewrite the middle dialog, and shift things around.

There is still work to be done.  I need to review for tense and POV consistency.  Two areas that i always struggle with when i write.  That will come next.

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“Don’t fragging move.”

 Aodhan stopped where he was and slowly lifted his arms out to the side.  Spreading his fingers wide to show that he was not holding anything.  But he also looked at the video Patch’ s drone was still feeding into his AR goggles.

 The voice had come from behind him.  A woman’s voice.  Terse, and direct, but Aodhan couldn’t detect an immediate threat.  The light had to be playing tricks on the image.  She looked like she was 200 cm tall, and looked to weighed in at least 135 kg, but she was no troll.  Disheveled, and soaking wet from the storm outside, sure, but she was definitely an elven woman.  She held a lethal looking AK-97 at her hip. that she was swiveling between Patch and Aodhan.  The old woman that Patch was finishing taking care of finally spoke up. 

 “They took Cody”, she said weakly.

 The elven woman dropped the assault rifle and sprinted into the hallway, barreling into the dwarf causing him to spider overtop of his patient.  She disappeared into a room on their left.

 A haunting scream came from the room.  Patch and Aodhan’s eyes locked on each other and they immediately understood.  Time to start gathering their things.  Puyallup had a way of swallowing its denizens, and those who get involved in other people's business.

 “They took him Tach!  Cody ‘s gone!  They heard the elven woman’s yell before she slammed the bedroom door.

 Aodhan came over to help, first Patch, and the old woman, to her feet.  Patch spoke up in his slight German accent, “so we are going to go now.  Do you need us to call Knight Errant for you?”

 “No.  Please.”  She was searching for the right words.  “Her boyfriend,” Aodhan noticed contempt creeping into her face, “he’s SINlesss.  They won’t help us.”  She looked around and then looked as if she was going to fall over again.  Instinctively both men reached out to steady her.

 “Look at this place.”  She said wearily and started to straighten things up absently.

 The unlikely pair, Patchcable, a German dwarf Rigger / StreetDoc who liked to wear his Blaze Orange Jacket, and Aodhan, an Elf Intrusion Decker, out of Tír na nÓg, who stuck to his dark blues, greys, and black.  Stared at each other with confused looks.  The adage, “Watch your back, shoot straight, conserve ammo, and never, ever, cut a deal with a dragon.”  - didn’t really cover this situation.  Neither did their ethos of helping others and preserving life (but not at the expense of preserving the guilty.)  The grandmother and mother were safe.  Mission accomplished.  Time to move along before the shadows decided they had seen too much.

 It was Aodhan’s turn to speak up with his slight Irish lilt.  “We’re going to move along then.  Let you settle your affairs as you see fit.”

 “Before you go,” came a resolute feminine voice.  Aodhan looked up.  The elven woman had emerged from the room in the hallway.  Her stature seemed to be closer to the racial norm.  She continued, “My boyfriend will be home in a little bit.  He will have a few questions on who did all this.”  She said gesturing around the room.  Aodhan looked over at Patch, who shrugged his shoulders and then nodded his head.

 They awkwardly got to work, helping put things back together around the house while they waited for the woman’s boyfriend to get home.  Patch picked up a picture frame and brushed it off.  With hushed voice and a frantic wave of his arm he called Aodhan over.

 Through the broken glass Aodhan saw, a picturesque elf woman, holding a young boy on her hip.  Standing next to her, an orc man.  Wearing gang colors.

 “Patch, what did you say those fellas were wearing?  The ones we chased out of here?”, Aodhan asked.

“Black leather jackets, with a neon green capital “A” on the back.  Why?”

“I think I have an idea why the kid might have been taken.”

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