I need to confess something.  I struggle with condemnation of others, of those who i feel should know better, but for whatever reason just don't.  There is no way i can possibly justify these feelings.  For some reason i got into watching a series of YouTube videos depicting several people and families who have left the Morman church.  I learned some new things, but I am still comfortable on my views of that faith as a whole.  If interested, you may see the videos for yourself here - YouTube Video and more.

No matter where someone else is, even if it is an area that the Bible is clear on, i have no right to condemn anyone.  (“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you." (Matthew 7:1-2 ESV)) That is clearly in the Bible.  That does not mean that the other person is not in sin, or in error, but that i have no right to condemn that person for being where they are in their walk through life.  We all have a sense that we are not "there" yet, and we get down on ourselves to some degree, and so we try and 'place ourselves' within the context of others.  If they are messing up, than you must be better than they are, right?  In the end, only God the Father will be our Judge, and we will all be guilty before Him.  That is, unless we have trusted the Lord Jesus Christ to be our substitute, our propitiation.  Even then, it is not anything we have/had done.  We can only be faithful with what He has entrusted to us and share as we can. 

"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast."  (Ephesians 2:1-9 ESV)

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While listening to WTOP (an all news station out of Washington, D.C.) i heard a report about G and PG rated movies are significantly less this year compared to last.  I am still not sure of the reason, but i do remember hearing that most, if not all, of the other studios have cleared the way for The Hobbit to be mostly unopposed in regards to opening weekends for the upcoming date.  I thought that was pretty funny.  My beloved and i are really looking forward to this movie, but after looking over our schedule it looks like we will not be seeing the movie until Sunday evening at the earliest.  I am out of touch with the general vibe of most of America, so i am not sure how well the Hobbit being expanded to three movies over all.  Personally i am pretty stoked.  I've always known that Peter Jackson did his very best (along with his fellow screen writers Fran Walsh and Philippa Boyens) would do their very best to be as faithful to the book, as well as find ways to incorporate a lot of the 'back story' from the various true canon sources.  The listed run time of "The Unexpected Journey" is 2:46, which i am quite thrilled about - AND, the 'extended version, on BluRay to be released later, will have an additional 25 minutes.  Love it.

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I am trying to set goals for myself in regards to running.  There are four running events in the coming years i hope to do.  Two are 5k races, one is an 8k race, and the other is a 10 mile deal.  To be honest, i have not met my goals for this year (which were to walk 300 miles, and run 150), but each race entered has an entrance fee and would be added impetus.  Each race has something that is attractive to me.  One is for cancer research,

when in shape

One is to raise donations for under privileged children, and one is to promote wellness among children in my area (sort of like the Play60 campaign, but a lot more localized).  The 10 miler, is the Army race run every year.  That one is really hard to get in to, and i do not have confidence in myself to actually be ready for it this year.  I spoke with my beloved, and i received what felt like a half hearted endorsement... but, i think she is behind me.  Especially if it helps me get DS2 in better overall shape.  More to follow - i hope.

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Who do i think i am, Dirk the Daring?

Ok, this might be dating myself some... but i actually remember sinking quarter after quarter after quarter into a stand up version of Dragon's Lair.  I loved that game, even if it was a timing and pattern game.  The sad thing is... i never beat the machine.  I just couldn't get the quarters fast enough, or myself to the Putt Putt golf often enough.  Well... to be fair... Cyberball also came along and distracted me some, but i digress.  I am sure most readers who come across this blog are familiar with Facebook and the innumerable number of distractions (i.e. games) that are available through that social network.  My preferred particular pill of addiction is MouseHunt.  Even though i do not just add 'friends' willy nilly there, i do have a handful of MouseHunt 'only' friends (well, not entirely true, two are fellow parents of ASD children - so we have that in common), and through one such friend i learned of an unofficial Dragon hunt coming up in two weeks.  Basically, a guys (or Doms - as in Dominators) versus Gals (Divas) competition to catch a fairly difficult mouse - the Dragon Mouse (duh!).  What makes it hard is that it is in a remote region of the map that requires time and patience to reach, then it takes time and patience to gather up the supplies to obtain the ingredients to craft the the special cheeses that help you catch mice that drop the ingredients for the next mouse, which drops things needed for the next group of mice who in turn... you guessed it drops loot/ingredients for the group of mice that include the elusive Dragon Mouse.  And then, this fellow is not a sure catch.  While i am not certain what the exact ratio of hunts to misses to actual catches (some hunts will gather the other mice and not your intended target).  I know this may sound odd... but this is exactly what draws me to this game.  It is not possible to just go there and do this or that.  Anyway, even though i do not yet qualify to join the Dragon Dominators (i have not captured enough of the beasts yet) i have decided to go ahead and do the hunt on my own just for fun.  Who knows... maybe i can get lucky and get the blueprints for yet another trap!  One distraction will be the game's 3rd birthday celebration.  But, i will keep my eye on the prize... to catch me some Dragon Mice, and prepare my assault on Zugzwang's Tower.

Speaking of dragons... I have been itching to reread The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings trilogy.  Reading is, for me, is immersion in imagination.  My mind is completely absorbed by what i am reading.  I think it's tied into the male's ability to completely blank out the mind.  I still remember reading about Bilbo and the Dwarves on their adventures. Then the hand off to Frodo and the Fellowship of the Ring.  I think it is why i often need to "rewash" my mind with the Bible from time to time.  To keep the gospel colored lenses in place and properly filtering what i "see".  The actual reason for this blip of topic is that i saw that the theatrical versions of the Lord of the Rings (which are NOT complete adaptations of the book... if they were they would have easily been 20+ hours long) on Blu Ray.  I'm telling you, after seeing the dingy gray of The Book of Eli on Blu Ray i am in geeky hi-def heaven (lower case H).  However, i am NOT going to be getting the theatrical versions of those movies.  The extended versions are just SO much better in my opinion.

So the NFL and NFLPA have extended the deadline for the collective bargaining agreement.  I am glad, but i am also losing interest in who gets what.  I just want to see the Panthers play in 2011.  I would like to see if Coach Rivera can string back to back winning seasons.  Not another run at the NFC South or even the NFC championships would be nice... but for me... i would like to see consistent winning in back to back seasons.  That would make me happy... even if it was 9-7 and 9-7 with no playoffs in either season.

I have finally posted another chapter for my short story series.  This one is about 750 words, and is not even a portion of the  6,800+ word thread i had mentioned not too long ago.  For some reason that is a double edged sword for me... both discouraging (because i have not posted the new thread yet), and encouraging because i finally posted something after an almost 8 month undesired hiatus.  Even though the two story lines intertwine... i am feeling compelled to leave the second thread on the side line for some reason.  Maybe for me to understand the background and use it to write the other thread?  In any event, it feels good to be writing and posting stories once more.  I even have an idea of how to progress a pair of older characters...

Well, this was supposed to post Tuesday evening, but it didn't so i am going to ramble on for a little while longer.

Had an odd argument this morning over the term "Hooah", you know the motivated response to most questions in the military.  This gentlemen insisted that it derives from acronym HUA, which means Heard, Understood, and Acknowledged.  While that is a possibility, there is evidence that the term may have originated as far back as the American Civil War.  I found a pretty decent response to the question at About.com.  All in all, no one can agree where it originated, but it is something unique to the American military (apparently).  The discussion reminded me of the time i talked with DS1 about my opinion on "Year 0" - or in how the 21st century did not begin until the year 2001, and not the year 2000.  Basically i feel that there are way too many people out there who know what they know because they know it and they are not interested in dissenting opinions or sources of information.  I lump myself into that category from time to time as well.  it not just "those people" who have that issue... i struggle with it too.

A major disrespect of our aging veterans has been taking place in my opinion.  Recently the last American veteran of WWI past away (Frank Buckles), and Congress and the House of Representatives have failed to pay proper respects for this man and those who he fought alongside.  We have memorials for WWII, Korea and Vietnam.  I am not saying that this man by himself deserves any special recognition, but it is the passing of a generation of veterans who served and sacrificed for this nation as well as for our friends and allies in Europe.  Both France and England paid honor to the passing of their last veteran of the "Great War", and France is even sending a high ranking delegation to attend whatever we see fit to pay tribute.  If this is how we treat those who volunteer and sacrifice... i fear for our future.  Unless hard work and sacrifice are honored and rewarded, we will continue to drift into mediocrity.  Our time as a world leader is waning... and perhaps... that is for the best.

A quick note about my current struggles with depression before i wrap up for this week.  I have been on Celexa for a little over three weeks.  I noticed almost an immediate improvement of my demeanor.  I am very happy with the results... but also nervous.  On three occasions i failed to remember to take the Rx first thing in the morning (i moved it to the AM to help me sleep better a night, a known side affect). and i noticed pretty quickly a difference.  I sure hope this becomes an ingrained habit soon.

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Friday Ramblings

A few new, fun, things have been occupying my fleeting Facebook time of late. Aside from flair (which i've already talked about some) and keeping up with friends and family, i have two new interests there. One is Yoville, and the other is these personality tests. Yoville is sort of a Sims like application where you explore a really small town filled with other players from all around the world. Other than the socialization aspects (i am not going to debate virtual socialization here) the main objective seems to be to decorate your house/apartment and/or your self. This application is passively fun. I don't sweat worry having the latest or greatest rugs or whatnot, but i did recently "purchase" my first house - a tree house. It goes with my elvish tendencies. 8) I know the personality tests are subjective and only as accurate as the interpretations of the creators of the questionares ~ but they are still fun. Several have been kind of surprising. One was "What is the purpose in life?" - Healer. Really? I don't publish all of the results i take, just ones that are fun and i don't mind the results of... :) I was really happy with the result from one i took today: "What type of Warrior are you?" My result was Jonas Blane. I was pretty happy with that result because i have really enjoyed CBS's show, The Unit. I was devastated when Molly called in a debt by asking Jonas to make a choice between her and The Unit while he was in the middle of a very delicate mission. And then to see Jonas sitting alone at "Betty Blue's" wedding... it broke my heart. I am so hoping that there will be a season 5 for this show (i think i will know around 20-May), if for nothing else than to see this relationship restored! I have a couple Google alerts set up so that i get occasional e-mail updates on "important" news articles. You know, things about "The Hobbit" movie, "Tron 2.0", etc. Well, one item recently was a 'related' thing but it drew my attention to the new trailer for "The Road". At first i was really pumped about this movie because of my interest in 'post apocalyptic' genre. After i saw the trailer i am nervous that it will be more of a "Dawn of the Dead" type of deal. While i could live with that, i am thinking that my beloved may not want to go see it with me. As a matter of fact... i am positive this will be the case. Still... i have moved to a 'wait and see' mode. Speaking about the "Post Apocalyptic" genre... i have not even finished my first run through of Fallout 3 yet! I really do enjoy playing this game, i just don't have enough time to do it! After all, the game is NOT a priority in my life, and when i sit down to play i really want a minimum of two to three hours to dive into it, which as anyone who is married and/or has children is extremely hard to come by. That's ok though. Bethesda Softworks has released three aftermarket files (also known as DLC) to expand the game even more. Which of course has my curiosity peaked. So in the OCD part of my personality i amn reluctant to play and work towards finishing the game until i can have the complete game... Now, since the only way (until recently) to get this DLC has been through GamesforWindows (Microsoft)... and since i have made a consious choice to NOT connect my personal laptop to the internet for ANY reason... this has not been a viable option. However, i am told that Bethesda usually releases another copy of their games that include the DLC, or the DLC by itself... i just need to be patient... But in the meantime i have been considering starting over. Not because i don't like the file i have going currently, but because it is a file that is running on an incomplete version of the game. And now i am hearing of another computer game that i would really like to have... recently i learned of a French software company known as Cyanide Studio is making a game called "Bloodbowl". Now this is a computer version of a Games Workshop game that i LOVED to play way back when. It has several elements that i enjoy... 1) It was a table top miniature game, 2) You could play Elves in it, 3) it played a LOT like American Football. One problem i did run into though, despite a lot of my friends also owning the game - it was not the first thing they would want to play should the occasion come up. A few times they would humor me, but for the most part i was the only one with the desire to play. Well, now i will be able to play (probably just as often as i get to play Fallout 3 now) by myself! All of this rambling has brought to mind my favorite memory of when i did play AD&D. (Bear with me... this sort of ties some things together.) We had a favorite quote from a comic book series, "Rain was the healer, and he was the first to die". This was because the one person/character you always needed in tight situations was the one who was the healer type, and inevitably it would seem like this character was the first to go down. Well. i had often favored playing fighter types, but i wanted the challenge of playing a Paladin. This is a character that played by a very high moral code, and was generally considered a very tough one to role play. We were very early on in what is called a "campaign". We were all still very low level, but what we did have was numbers. I believe we had eight or more people playing (which was very rare for us). Anyway, we came into a small town that was being harassed by something up in the hills. You know the drill, running off with live stock, and recently one of the elders children had disappeared. My Paladin of course wanted to help... it was a moral obligation to help those poor people, and it took a long time for me to convince the others the back me up on this one. When we arrived at the beast's layer we learned that it was a young White Dragon (which was the weakest of such monsters in the game), and it was sleeping! The whole party was besides themselves on this opportunity, but my Paladin would have none of this. It is not fair to ambush a sleeping foe - no matter what they had done. I was alone on this one... finally i told the guy running the game, "I walk up to the sleeping dragon. draw my sword and tap it on the nose and declare, 'awake foul beast!'" The battle was over in two rounds. After it turned our thief and several others into Popsicles, it batted my Paladin across the cave leaving him barely consious. The only survivors were a mage who had refused to even enter the cave, and my Paladin. The pair sulked back to town licking their wounds. My friends absolutely refused to let me continue to play that character. So, despite my only playing that character in two adventure, he remains my all time favorite.