Communication is Key

Everyone has teachers that they remember from school. It doesn't matter if they are 18 or 81. I have several myself, but the one I thinking of today was my 9th grade English teacher (the last English class I actually passed in H.S. by the way). I remember her going over what "communication" was. Since English is at the core a means of communication she felt it important to make sure we, her students, knew and understood the process. Well, tenty five plus years later, I don't have the materials readily at hand - but I am very thankful for the internet. LOL :) I will be using a webpage titled "Communication & Leadership" by Don Clark as my reference material... Communication is in essence the process whereby the 'communicator' (the one with the "message to be conveyed) is attempting to pass along an idea or concept to a 'receiver' (the one to whom the message is intended for). Now for this discussion it does not matter how many intervening "hops" there are. If the receiver does not understand the message of the communicator - communication is NOT taking place. I see a similar correlation in the process of Leadership. If a leader is unable to convey his/her message, and/or unable to convince others to follow him/her - Leadership is not taking place. Being a husband and father I am called to be the head of my household. In essence the leader (note: I am not saying Lord and master). Many of the troubles I shared earlier this week are as a result of poor communication and leadership on my part. Now, I know that I am not the only participant in this process. I have a wife who is my equal before God. She has her own thoughts, and ideas. She has her own contributions to the issues at hand, and she will be accountable for her actions before God (man that sounds like I am somehow condemning her - when that is NOT my intention, only a statement of fact - she is accountable for her own actions). But in my role I have failed her thus far. I have allowed the troubles of our communication to go on so long that we are at the place we are at. I have failed to identify (to include engaging her on her thoughts and ideas), I have failed to act (to include her on her thoughts and ideas), and I have failed to communicate with and lead her, thus I have failed to "Love her". I have failed to protect and provide. Fortunately nothing is beyond redemption, and we are not so bad as to just throw in the towel. I am blessed in that I am married to a very unselfish woman. She is just as frustrated as I am, and she wants to get through this as well. I am just not sure where else to go, or what else to do - other than pray of course. But communication is the foundation of any relationship, be it teacher:student, friend:friend, business:customer, husband:wife. God provides an example of what is possible when communication is working (Genesis 11). Although it may not be obvious, but God was the one who confounded speech to begin with, and His intention is not so much to cause us to fail as it is to make us turn to Him and to rely on Him... and that is something that has been happening. I feel like I am going through a regular old "1st and 2nd Kings" like experience... hopefully I am one of the kings who went through the land to tear the ashura poles down. Verse for today: Genesis 11:1-9, ESV Now the whole earth had one language and the same words. And as people migrated from the east, they found a plain in the land of Shinar and settled there. And they said to one another, “Come, let us make bricks, and burn them thoroughly.” And they had brick for stone, and bitumen for mortar. Then they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city and a tower with its top in the heavens, and let us make a name for ourselves, lest we be dispersed over the face of the whole earth.” And the Lord came down to see the city and the tower, which the children of man had built. And the Lord said, “Behold, they are one people, and they have all one language, and this is only the beginning of what they will do. And nothing that they propose to do will now be impossible for them. Come, let us go down and there confuse their language, so that they may not understand one another's speech.” So the Lord dispersed them from there over the face of all the earth, and they left off building the city. Therefore its name was called Babel, because there the Lord confused [1] the language of all the earth. And from there the Lord dispersed them over the face of all the earth.

A verse that keeps coming back up

Ephesians 4:29-32, ESV Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. This verse seems to have become a theme for me over the past few weeks. Especially as I continue to try and learn how to communicate better with my beloved. I'm a little nervous about sharing this with her... I don't want her to think I am pointing the finger solely at her... but if I feel led to a verse, and feel that God has given it to me to share... than in order to best serve my beloved, and lead her as I should... I need to step forward in faith. I will be away for a little while, but will be back and blogging in no time.

The Power of the tongue

Recently I have become increaingly aware of exactly how much trouble I have communicating accurately with my beloved. I will say something and she will reply, "What do you mean?" And I think over what I was saying, and usually I end up repeating what I said before. It's not just one way either. She will be telling me something and I am replying, "what do you mean?". LOL But it's not just when we are talking to each other. In general it's about the overall assumptions.

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. (Ephesians 4:29, ESV)

And yet I struggle at times with this when dealing with my own wife. :( And there is so much I wish I could tell her... and vice versa. Verse for today: Ephesians 5:25-33, ESV Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. [1] In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.