Music Monday - 20091012 and church search conclusion (?)

My family and i continue to search for a new church. It had come down to two. One is relatively near by, while the other one is about 25 minutes away. Yesterday tipped the scales to the one further away. Why is it that i continue to find one of two 'types' of churches. On one 'side' we find a church that has good teaching BUT we find several legalistic people, people who do not seem to practice what is preached outside of the pew (personal experiences with said people), child care (pre-school/elementary/youth) not very friendly, and not much in the way for families to fellowship together. Then on the 'other side' we find a slightly 'watered down' message but the people seem more genuine. The teachers in the youth are friendly and helpful, there are things for the family and youth to do. Do i come across as self righteous in these blogs? Do i seem stubborn or elitist? Because i desire in-depth teaching and accountability am i doing the things that we are seeing? I deeply desire a church home that desires to continually teach the gospel, that encourages grace filled accountability, that encourages the meeting together of the saints not just in teaching situations but relationship building ones AND service (i.e. ministry) opportunities. I am fully aware that a 'perfect church' does not exist out there, and yet... why do i struggle to find one that i am comfortable to bring my family too? The more i think about it the more i am inclined to think it is me. When i listen, read, or watch things about/by about men like CJ Mahaney, John Piper, Allister Begg, John Stott, RC Sproul, Thabiti Anyabwile, and John MacArthur, my spirit's hunger gnaws at me. I recently listened to an interview with one of these men and i remember this because i remember my spirit crying out to know God more... to be more passionate for Him. And there was a line that went like this, "Someone once asked me, 'how can i be as passionate as you are'? and (he) replied, if you want to be passionate you have to spend time with God. You have to study His word. (He suggested to) start with the gospels and the seven sayings of Christ on the cross." (off of memory, but hopefully just as accurate) So, what i am taking away from this is that i need to stop seeking to have my hunger satisfied from a pulpit and i have to take a more personal approach to feeding this desire. I'm not saying that i don't need to attend a local church, quite the opposite, but i need to stop seeking to have my hunger and thirst quenched strictly from the pulpit. I need to be more directly involved in the satiating of such hunger pains. I also want to guard my heart against the very things that we've been seeing in "deep" churches around us of late.

And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. (Luke 11:9-10, ESV) “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, [1] for the servant [2] does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another. (John 15:12-17, ESV)

To be honest i have leaned more towards spiritual slothfulness than becoming a marathon runner. I read the following from a facebook friend over the weekend, "Once an overweight couch potato with a glut of bad habits, including smoking and drinking, at the age of 43 John Bingham looked mid-life in the face—and started running. Since then, he has completed 40 marathons and hundreds of 5K and 10K races... —and developed a whole new outlook." Famous quote: "The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start." (Thanks for sharing that Linda!) I am praying in Jesus' name that i may have the courage to start... OK... enough rambling. Last week, again on facebook, the I LOVE CHRISTIAN MUSIC♥ page shared the song below and it moved me. I know many of you may think that it was just because that it is in both English and Japanese that this is the case but i truly believe that it was more than that. I love hearing the praises of God sung in other languages. There is something moving that is hard to explain. Before i was a Christian there was a Chinese family that lived next door to me. Whenever i would get sick my friend's mother would make me dumplings. My mouth still waters... well, they also took me to church a couple of times, but the sermons and singing were always in Chinese. But even then it caught my attention. So, without further delay...

Found in You Written by Lisa Davidson Translated by Emi Shirasaya 救いの神様が 変えてくれたよ　この人生を 救いの十字架が 永遠の命　与えてくれる 捧げよう　すべて あなたを愛してるから イエスだけが　満たす魂 歌おう　あなた讃えて　イエス Salvation belongs to our God Nothing else could ever change My life the way You did Salvation belongs to the cross By the perfect blood You shed I live eternally My life is forfeit to You 'Cause I have fallen in love with the Saviour Jesus alone can satisfy my soul I'll sing Your praises forever My life is forfeit to You 'Cause I have fallen in love with the Saviour Jesus alone can satisfy my soul I'll sing Your praises forever Jesus すべては　あなたの　中にある すべては　あなたの　中にある すべては　あなたの　中にある すべては　あなたの　中にある All that I want All that I need I've found in You All that I want All that I need I've found in You All that I want All that I need I've found in You All that I want All that I need I've found in Your Love My life is forfeit to You 'Cause I have fallen in love with the Saviour Jesus alone can satisfy my soul I'll sing Your praises forever 捧げよう　すべて あなたを愛してるから イエスだけが　満たす魂 歌おう　あなた讃えて 歌おう　あなた讃えて 歌おう　あなた讃えてイエス

Aspergers Ramblings and other random thoughts

My youngest son has Aspergers. Anyone who has been reading my blog for more than a week or so probably already knows this. He struggles every day with the basic things. Too often i struggle to help him. I see how and why he is struggling... but i don't know how to communicate and help him adjust. BUT, my beloved is his champion! I am amazed, almost daily, in how she fights for her son. How she is able to communicate and come alongside him and his aides. She has been recognized by our 'advocate' from Marshall University in her efforts as well. I want to encourage anyone who stumbles across this post to seriously consider what you might be able to help further the research that is affecting more than 1:100 of our children here in the United States. Autism in general is misunderstood, but Aspergers is even more so. I've been yelled at by a mother of an Autistic child because i actually stepped in between him and my son when her child pursued mine as i was calling him out of a situation on a playground. "My son's autistic!" she yelled at me. I looked back at her and said, "So is mine". But i also see the parents of "neurotipical" children stare at my son when he rambles on about the latest Psych episode, or stand up comedian - which he is reciting verbatim - to no one in particular. Or when he talks to strangers in some strange voice, or he's flapping his arms while running around. Aspergers has the double jeopardy of having the outward appearance of someone completely "normal", but the inward affect of them not being able to relate on a typical social "norm" (making eye contact, conversing in mutually interesting topics, etc.) Places like Marshall University have been a God send. There needs to be a way for parents and educators to find resources such as Marshall, and utilize them easier and better. As you can tell i like to use pictures to spruce up the ol' blog. And for the most part they are the little round ones like you see above (and probably below). These are pieces of flair of i have either made, or accumulated via the same Facebook app. But sometimes, like when i posted the picture of the Eldar Pathfinder, i really want to make sure i give credit to the original author, painter, photographer. I always try to remember to put at a minimum a hyperlink in the picture (like i did with the button to the right here) to the original source, but what i would really like to do it place a caption beneath it, with another hyperlink. I have found a good way to do if i center the pictures, but not if i have them aligned to the left or right so the text can "wrap" (like i am doing here). I've read a few webpages on some techniques, but most of it i am not getting. Something about tables, etc. I messed around with a few attempts, but so far i've not been able to get it. If anyone knows of a way - please comment/e-mail/message/whatever me so i can learn how to do this. This past Saturday i came home from DD3's soccer game and there was a little snake, about 8 inches long, sitting behind our van in our garage (the door had been closed). I sent my little girl on into the house while i used my leg to push the thing on out into the grass... but the thing didn't flee! It sat there, raised it's head up with the mouth wide open, and the little tail whipping back and forth very very fast. I tried one more time to get it to run away but it was bound and determined to let me know who was boss. I calmly went back into my garage, got my large square tipped shovel, came back out and planted the shovel about two inches down from it's head. The thing kept trying to get out but i made sure i made it into two snakes. Later when i asked a friend who likes to go on hikes etc. they told me that it could be either a Timber Rattlesnake, or a Black Ratsnake. I really trust this guy (he's worked for the park service forever), but the more i read about the two snakes... i am leaning towards the former. But... i will never know for sure. After the snake deal we headed to our friend's house (same person i asked about the snake) and made home made apple cider. YUM! I literally participated in each step of the process. DS2 and i went out and picked a bucket full of apples from their trees, washed them off, cut them into sections, then ran them through a very old hand powered shredding machine, then took a press and slowly compacted the apple pulp to squeeze out all the juice. Our friends got the machine that pulps and presses the apples from the previous owners of the house. One condition of the sale of the house was that they continue the Cider Saturday tradition. This was the first year i was able to make it. Man that made some seriously good apple cider. I just love the Fall!

Rambling Rememberances

Yesterday i was catching up with an old Army buddy on Facebook. As i was looking through his old pictures two of them caught my attention. The first one here is a snapshot of our platoon when we did a rotation to Honduras. What an incredible experience that was. I remember it being incredibly HOT. August in Central America is like that. We flew into a really small air strip in C-130's and then got trucked - literally to the small Honduran army base. It was not all that big, but i remember it being lined with concertina wire, and the tents (pictured above) were already set up for us. Misquotes were incredible. I remember being issued this bug spray in a nondescript aerosol can. You had to take your uniform off and apply the bug repelant directly to the uniform, let it dry (which sometimes took a little while with the humidity), and then you could put it back on. But it worked great. I remember getting heat rash for the first time. We had to burn the barrels beneath the latrines. One of the Platoon Sergeants even demonstrated the water purification tablets, but then couldn't get any of us lower enlisted to follow up the demonstration. About the third or fourth day there my body stopped digesting meat and dairy products. I could only drink water, soda (five for a dollar), and eat only fruits and vegetables. Bread i could tolerate in small quantities. I lost 10 pounds off of my 155 pound frame in a little over 10 days. Even now, about once a year, usually in the early parts of summer, my body will not tolerate meat or dairy for about 3-5 days. The country was beautiful. The jungles were lush and green. The mountains incredibly steep - i know this because i had to lug my young butt up and down those slopes carrying five gallons of water - plus my regular load. At night i leaned my ruck against a tree and sat on it to sleep so i would not slide down the mountain. I remember sunlight streaming through the clouds after one of the daily downpours. I remember it mostly because i was a brand new Christian (less than two weeks) and one day while i was changing my drenched t-shirt one of my Honduran counterparts said, "Cristo" and pointed to what little chest hair i had. Apparently what i did have was in the shape of a cross. I traded one of my unit patches with the man for one of his, and then he mentioned "Cristo" once more. He then gave me a hand woven cross made of some kind of durable string. He tied it around my neck. It stayed there for many a year until it literally wore off. My next picture is one of my high points of my Infantry career. My first job was that of a 'Heavy Weapons, Anti-Tank, Infantryman. My job was to be the eyes and ears for my battalion as well as provide anti-tank support. You see, i had joined the historic 29th Infantry Division (light) and vehicles were in short supply so we had a dual scouting role as well (which led to a lot of interesting competitions with the Scout platoon. Anyway, although we trained with the TOW system we did not get the opportunity to fire an actual missile all that often. In the six years i was in the TOW platoon we fired only two missiles. In order to determine who would have the honor of getting to fire the one missile we would have (at the time) we held a two month competition to determine the "Top Tube" award. The winner would get the honor. When the competition started i did not consider that i would have a chance because, despite all of the training i had on the missile system, i was nowhere near the qualification scores of many of the other soldiers. But what i didn't know was that our APFT, Rifle Qualification, and a few other things that i can not recall all played a part. When they announced i had won you could have knocked me over with a feather. The picture below is one that my old Army buddy on Facebook actually took of me on the day i got to send that baby down range. I still remember the sound of the missile's systems starting up, the discharge motor igniting and the wash of heat as the missile launched out the tube. I remember my sight picture and how i gently brought the crosshairs down onto the old tank out on the dropzone, and i remember nailing that sucker right between the turret and the deck - a perfect shot. I remember feeling slightly disappointed that there was not a bigger flash of light or puff of smoke -something. I learned later that the reason for this was that it was a perfect hit and all of the energy went into and through the tank. The spectators in the stands, including my photographer here saw the hit, and on the backside of the target the remaining energy of the shot knocked down a small tree that fell over in "slow motion". I still have the electrical connector cap as a memento. From all of this i also received a 29th Division coin from the commanding General (which, i can't remember his name now ). The only other award that i cherish from my time in the National Guard as an Infantryman was when i earned the Air Assault badge. That was the toughest course i have ever taken. I still have my handbook from that school. On the back i kept track of the number of students in the class. We graduated just over half of out starting number. Of the seven students my battalion sent only three of us came home with our 'wings' (above right). Of the three Scouts sent, none of them came home with them. A source of pride for both myself and the TOW platoon. Not too long after i met my beloved and i was smitten. I had been a "hard charger" and referred to as "High Speed, Low Drag" soldier. But then i met her and a lot of my priorities changed. For a while i allowed myself to get mired in an MOS i really, really, didn't like - but it allowed me to be home a lot more often. More on this some other time. I remember not just these vivid memories of my (then) young military career, but the tuggins God was placing on my heart. How is transformed me through the military from a young man who could not care less about anyone, or any thing, other than himself (for example i would not keep a job more than three months) into the man who i am today. I found something that i loved and could excel at, but even then that was not the end point. God would introduce Himself to me in 1989 and my priorities changed even more. He did this through the Chaplain's assistant i would meet in my first NCO school, and many other men i would meet in and out of uniform who witnessed to me - and not just by sharing the gospel. I have many fond memories of this time of my life... but time is linear... and it ever moves forward. There are a few examples of God not wanting His people to dwell in the past, but He also encouraged them to set up monuments in tribute to what He had done. I give thanks to God for these memories, and the incredible journey He has brought me through. While the verse i want to use below is in the context of the writer being in a severely oppressed position, but...

I remember the days of old; I meditate on all that you have done; I ponder the work of your hands. I stretch out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land. ~ Selah (Psalm 143:5-6, ESV)

While i was never in the same league of trials as this writter, God did use the pressure and the 'heat' of those years. And for that i am grateful and will ever praise His name.

Music Monday - 20091005

Not too long ago i was rambling on about constantly striving and dealing with bad attitudes (my own) towards my own mistakes. The line between grace and striving perfection is pretty thin. I had heard my song for today before this, but in God's providential timing i heard it again later the same day as that previous post.

Free to be Me Francesca Battistelli Album: My Paper Heart At twenty years of age I'm still looking for a dream A war's already waged for my destiny But You've already won the battle And You've got great plans for me Though I can’t always see (Chorus) ‘Cause I got a couple dents in my fender Got a couple rips in my jeans Try to fit the pieces together But perfection is my enemy On my own I'm so clumsy But on Your shoulders I can see I'm free to be me When I was just a girl I thought I had it figured out My life would turn out right, and I'd make it here somehow But things don't always come that easy And sometimes I would doubt (Chorus) And you’re free to be you Sometimes I believe that I can do anything Yet other times I think I've got nothing good to bring But You look at my heart and You tell me That I've got all You seek And it’s easy to believe Even though (Chorus)

Perfectionism is a form of legalism. To make no allowances for grace. I struggled with using this song though. Not because of how great (IMO) it shows how grace is at work in our lives, but because i was worried about the reverse of legalism being seen as ok... license. Our walk with Christ is all about grace. Without God's grace we would be lost, and yet we cannot just lay back and say grace covers it. My mind is wandering (even after taking the Strattera this morning) and i am having a hard time focusing on exactly what i am trying to say. We no longer live under the law, and yet we are to strive/work. There is a difference between justification (that which grace has achieved) and our on-going sanctification (our on going working). But even in the sanctification process grace is at work. We can never achieve perfection because of sin in both ourselves and the world.

But [2] God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:4-10, ESV)

We are indeed free to be ourselves, but we no longer live for ourselves but for Christ. I know that Francesca was not trying to say that it is ok for us to go on sinning, and i am not trying to convey that she was. Christ meets us exactly where we are. Not just when we were still in sin, but even after the Holy Spirit has come to dwell in a Christian's heart. Live free and enjoy the ride, but always ride towards the object of your affection. If it is not Christ... it is an idol.

Ramblings of the random kind

There are times when i really do not have any idea of what i am going to write about on my blog. No really. I know this will come as a shock, but there are times when i just sit down and start typing and see what comes as i go. Other days i don't have a lot to say about whatever it is i do know what i want to write about. On those days i just start a new entry and put down some cryptic sentence, and then when i have between 3-5 of them i begin. If i remember what i mean all the better. Today is of the later... The Carolina Panthers have their 'by-week' early this year. I am very grateful for that as they head into it with a record of 0-3. *sigh*. Heading into the season their scheduled was considered the 2nd hardest so that is not really raising my hopes for them getting to 9-7. Granted, they play the Bucs (twice), the Redskins, and the Miami Dolphins. I am pretty sure they will win at least one of those. I have seen Coach Fox turn this team around before, and i am not really confident that they are as bad as their record currently shows. But they are going to really have to come out of the gate of the by-week and win at least three out of their next four for me to change my feelings on this. Yesterday i had some maintenance work so i came into work about a half hour before midnight and worked until i was done. Which in this case was only about two hours - a real blessing. Not knowing how long it was going to go i asked for a personal day off during my regular shift and used up some comp. time. I would like to say it was spent with my beloved on a romantic luncheon, but it was not to be. I knew i had things to do at the local government offices, and i had to get the grass cut (hopefully for the last time of the season), but then my poor love has come down with my summer cold. So i made her some tomato soup and got my errands done. When i finished the lawn i realized i still had about a dozen or more logs left to split for our firewood stock so i knocked that out too. There is something therapeutic to me about chopping wood. I have no idea why. I may need some more so i need to contact my friends who own a full size pickup and several acres north of where i live. See about getting another dozen or so logs... While running my errands i was thinking a little bit more about my 'novel'. Thinking over where i want to go with it, some more personal background information on the characters (most of which will probably never be "seen"), etc. i began to wonder if there were other Christian writers of science fiction out there. I've never really scoured the local Christian book store for such books. I've seen different genres, but it's just not a place i've thought of to go for recreational reading. Deep theological sure, but not for casual stuff that doesn't really matter. So last night, as i am running around getting the last few items done before (the kids) bedtime i typed in a quick Google search "Christian Cyberpunk". I am not sure why i chose that particular group of words, but there you have it. The first interesting return gave me Frank Creed ~ he has written a book titled FlashPoint: Book One of the Underground. When i read the summary it sounded a little too much like the Left Behind series. I like that series, but i was looking for cyborgs and that kind of thing so my search continued. I clicked on a few more links and i was beginning to get discouraged. I read about a few titles but all of them (so far) have very similar settings. Formal religion is being severely suppressed. Not just Christianity, but Islam and Judaism too (and probably several others). The hero is a non-believer who is actually a "Paul-like" character who has some sort of conversion experience and then champions the cause for Christ. This is beginning to sound a lot like Contemporary Christian music back in the early '80's ~ or at least my perception from back then. There is only one real 'flavor' and there is really not much depth to it. I continued on and found another author, Kirk Outerbridge, who has authored Calamity Falls. I've read the Chapter One and his 'hero' character reminds me a lot of the Deckard character from Blade Runner. I like how it starts so far, but i am not sure i will buy it though. One thing i did notice was that all of the Christian Science Fiction sites i found did not refer to themselves as Science Fiction writers, but writers of 'Speculative Fiction'. Really? I know that science fiction in general can get pretty raunchy. (I SO wanted to like and watch the Sci-Fi Channel series Battlestar Gallactica, but had to stop watching it because of the incredibly overt sexual situations), but why such a hard push to differentiate? There is probably a reason for it, but i've not discovered what that reason may be yet. I did find, what i hope to be, a good writing source/support page: The Lost Genre Guild. It is a blog for Christian writers of 'Speculative Fiction' (aka Science Fiction). There are several resources there like a mentor and critique group, a writers tool kit page, and a "Library" (a list of books published by fellow members). Overall a nice find as an encouragement for me to help stay grounded in my Faith, while exploring my interest in writing science fiction.

We live in an ESPN/CNN type of world now

Last night DS1 stayed up late with me to watch the Dallas Cowboys beat my favorite team in the whole wide world... the Carolina Panthers. For the most part i felt that it was a really good game. Especially for football fans. The game was tight, a good chess match type of deal. I am disappointed in a few things as a Carolina Panthers fan though. Muhsin Muhammad... dude... i know you thought that you were just playing decoy when you went deep on the first interception, but you are a big man, and Jake had been throwing to you... you had to have thought there was a chance it was coming your way... right? Regarding the touchdown that was called back, i saw the replay and i can see how they called you for the offensive pass interference, but i still disagreed with the call. You were once Carolina's #1 receiver... you still are loved and respected by this fan. Mr. Smith, i loved your - and Mr. Beason's - passion on the field and the sidelines. Please do not lose that. Steve, i also love and respect how you are man enough to stand up and take a hit for that second interception. A lot of the passing game is timing and being on the same page as the quarterback, thank you for stepping up like that. Football is a team sport and last night the game was lost as a team. I know organizations like ESPN, and some local sports writers, like to single out certain players and point the finger. But i know the Panthers can do better. There are thirteen games left in the season fellas... all you need are nine more victories to make this fan happy. I hope to read about a "players only" meeting in the next few days. If there are men on the team who are not moving at 100% i hope you call them out in front of their peers. I don't need to know or read about it. And since i have been writing like i am addressing the team (like any of them would even read this little blog of mine), Mr. Richardson... please do not listen to the media. I so respect and appreciate how you have managed your Football franchise. You have spoken to the men in your organization directly and you have maintained control. Don't let ESPN dictate how this team moves forward. Did you ever notice how news organizations like CNN, Fox, ESPN seem to have nothing better to do than make mountains out of foothills? I've heard them say that all they do is report the news... baloney. Sometimes it's not what you report, but what you don't report. Sometimes it's not what you say, but how you say it. I've already read that it's time to bench Delhomme, really? Because Feeley is all that better? Has anyone else seen just how average Moore is? Or what about daily reports of just how many soldiers (or civilians) were killed in Iraq or Afghanistan every day? How does that support the troops accomplish their mission when it undermines the support of their efforts at home? Look to how torn apart the Vietnam Veterans were when they first came home. It has taken over two decades to get them as a group to where they are today. It's hard as a population to get anything started, to build up any momentum. But it's very easy to get an avalanche started when it airs on TV. And it doesn't matter the political "leaning". If ever an industry could use the cold in-human touch of a computer it would be the news media. If you've read my blog for any amount of time you know that i am a science fiction lover. All of this talk about "Big Brother" in regards to media is reminding me of a show i really liked way back when ~ Max Headroom. Man i loved that show. I need to talk to my step-mom more. She could probably help me figure out just what it is that i like so much about the Cyberpunk and Post Apocalyptic genres. I know i would most likely NOT be like the hero's of such movies and books, but i am just fascinated and drawn to them. Recently i was reacquainted with an old game that i wanted to play, but could never get my friends on board ~ Shadowrun. Cybernetics, Elves and humans and orcs and dwarves, and magecorporations run amok. Intrigue, double crossing, morals being all one big gray area. Matrix-like hacking and networking. It has all of the elements i am drawn to in a fictional environment. Unfortunately most authors of those genres have a very low opinion of organized religion in general... and a really bad opinion of Christianity in particular. Perhaps it speaks to my sin nature... a desire to rebel against things that tell me what to do. But the great thing about my faith... it is not God telling me what to, but tell me what He has done... and my response to His actions.

Music Monday - 20090928 - and other randomness

Thank God it's Monday! \o/ What a weekend. Nothing too strenuous, and nothing more than a typical American family probably goes through. A maintenance activity kept getting rescheduled due to local weather and that was a little frustrating. I am praying for those affected. Right now it is on 'prolonged hold' until the local authorities can get things cleaned up. This morning i was startled into consciousness by my 'electric leash' (aka cell phone). My boss was trying to get the status on another, unrelated, issue that i had been called on. I had left the ringer set WAY loud and when it rang i felt like a cat being startled and vaulting six feet in the air ~ picture America's Funniest Home Videos. I could have sunk my fingers into the ceiling and hung there. *ckl* Yesterday my beloved's and my search for a new church home continued. We've known about the church we visited since before we were married but had never visited there. Mostly due to concerns regarding the doctrine, but we've also seen it raise up two very fine young adults in the children of some friends of ours. We were seated a little late due to not knowing where the youth services for our DD3. We also found out that the youth services for our sons took place at the earlier service. Be that as it may, shortly after we sat down we stood up to worship to this song, and even though my 'spirit' was not as prepared for worship as i would have preferred, this song spoke to my heart... and i hope was a glorious sound in my Savior's ears...

REVELATION SONG by Jennie Lee Riddle © 2004 CCLI # 4447960 Worthy is the, Lamb who was slain Holy, holy, is He Sing a new song to Him who sits on Heaven's mercy seat Holy, holy, holy Is the Lord God Almighty Who was, and is, and is to come With all creation I sing: Praise to the King of Kings You are my everything, And I will adore You Clothed in rainbows Of living color Flashes of lightning, rolls of thunder Blessing and honor, strength and Glory and power be To You the only wise King Filled with wonder Awestruck wonder At the mention of Your Name Jesus, Your name is power Breath, and living water Such a marvelous mystery

I would consider myself "charismatic" in my worship of Christ. I believe in the gifts of the Spirit. I believe that there are times my emotions should be fully engaged in the worship of Christ (an ironic statement since i have trouble engaging my emotions in every day life). I would like to believe i am a fellow Christian "Hedonist" with John Piper. At the same time it needs to be said... the emotions, and the gifts of God, are NOT to be pursued in lieu of our relationship with Christ. They should be as a result of a passionate pursuit of the Savior. It is the pursuit of the gifts over the Giver that has given the "Charismatic movement" a black eye, and a sour taste in the mouth. I long for the day when i will stand among the throng before the Throne of God, with my emotions and mind fully engaged, singing similar words... What a weekend for the undercats! How about those Lions getting their first win in twenty games! Then, the Pittsburgh Steelers traveled to Cincinnati and then the Bengals dished out a plate of humble pie! With the Panthers struggling thus far this year i am pulling for all of the feline NFL teams. 8) I just wish i knew that the Panthers were going to win tonight! *ckl* I don't want to lose out on sleep for no reason! On Friday i got on a roll on a background piece for my 'novel'. It's a 'visualization' piece that i can use to help me keep a consistent picture of my four main characters. I was unable to finish it Friday night, and i made about three attempts over the weekend to pick it back up to no avail. I am just way too easily distracted. 8/ Oh well... i hope to pick it back up some time this week.