20090313

It takes a little bit of blood, sweat, and tears people

I have only walked the Earth for a little over four decades now, and although i have traveled more than some, i can only speak for America - and not all of that. I am fairly confident that the following observations are pretty generic and could be applied many places. Man is inherently lazy. We are also inherently selfish, and not good.
"I passed by the field of a sluggard, by the vineyard of a man lacking sense, and behold, it was all overgrown with thorns; the ground was covered with nettles, and its stone wall was broken down. Then I saw and considered it; I looked and received instruction. A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man." (Proverbs 24:30-34, ESV)
I am not saying that great feats of effort and care are not possible, nor am i saying that mankind does not do 'good' things. What i am saying is that we will, if left to ourselves for a protracted amount of time, we will not exert any more effort than is absolutely necessary. Much more than that takes effort. The more that needs to be done beyond the base, the more self disciplined effort it will take. Before anyone would try and burn me at the stake (unlikely with the number of readers i probably have), i am aware that there may be an exception out there, i am making broad/generic statements here - i am most definitely including myself in all this as well. Look along the sides of many of the roads in North America. You will almost invariably see trash. Why? Because people are too lazy to secure it until they reach a trash can to dispose of it properly. I have seen couples get divorced because one, or both, of them were more interested in playing video games than taking care of the basic chores around the house. I have witnessed people drive their cars to a neighbor's house that is only four doors away instead of walking. Things like this are not limited to physical exertion either. It is an epidemic in America where people would rather charge up credit cards, or take out bad loans, instead of working hard and saving for the things that want to buy. There are some areas in each of our lives where we do put forth that extra effort. Things that are near and dear to our hearts, but not in everything. It takes effort to raise children. Because you do not have to teach a child how to cheat, lie, be kind and courteous, a parent or guardian has to make that extra effort to teach, guide, and discipline when necessary. No two children are alike either. Parents must take the time to learn what each child responds to. All the while struggling with their own (the parent's) issues (i.e. sins). The same is true with our relationships with others. Friends, families, co-workers, fellow church members, etc. Now, multiply the efforts for special needs children and it can quickly seem/feel overwhelming. These examples are pretty limited as they are strictly from my own experiences and point of view. But this concept is accurate across most, if not all, areas of life. How many troubles in life come about because a little effort is not taken in the beginning. A false rumor that is started, but someone who knows the truth doesn't stand up and counter it. A small crack in a window is not taken care of before it completely breaks and someone gets hurt. There is no way to address every possible scenario, but if one has come to your mind while you were reading this - chances are it is something you have not done or need to take care of. The Panama canal was not completed with out blood, sweat, tears, suffering, and pain. Simple things do not become complex without intervention. It is a natural instinct to conserve energy - even when a little used now will save a lot later. Everything good is worth the effort. You cannot accomplish everything, especially on your own. Two oxen together can accomplish more than separately. Take the time to work on your self, to help your neighbor, etc. A few days ago an internet friend posted a really good entry on her blog concerning just starting out small in regards to things in your spiritual life. This was an area that i know i am weak in. To my discredit i do not put forth as much effort as i should - especially when it comes to my walk with Christ. The greatest thing is that His grace is so amazing that as we take efforts to draw close to Him... He rewards us with renewed strength and passion. What an awesome dynamic. A final comment on this... do not confuse effort with headlong, mindless, pushing forward. Effort is not just physical, but mental. There is a balance to all things, and there are various ways to deal with things and the type of effort needs to be adjusted for each situation and person.
"For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them. To the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews. To those under the law I became as one under the law (though not being myself under the law) that I might win those under the law. To those outside the law I became as one outside the law (not being outside the law of God but under the law of Christ) that I might win those outside the law. To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some. I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings.

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, [2] lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified."(1 Corinthians 9:19-27, ESV)

20090311

Wednesday ramblings

There was two changes that i made in my preferences during my twenty two year National Guard 'career'. One was i started using plain old soap to shave with. The unit i started out in did a lot of "flyaways" and i found out pretty quickly that shaving cream had two side effects. One was that the scent attracted bugs... lots, and lots of them. The other was that the contents were usually under pressure and after spending several hours in an unpressurized C-130 had a tendency to spray out its contents... the air pressure as well as the stacking of rucksacks on top of each other. Messy and a bug magnet. Not a good combination when you would get dropped off somewhere and have no repreive for several days or weeks. The other thing was i grew to really hate how my watch felt on my wrist. My ruck or web gear would snag on it, dirt would collect under it, and it could reflect light and draw attention to me when i was not wanting to be seen. As a result i began to wear and use a pocket watch. One thing about the American GI's uniform is that there are (usually) a lot of pockets to be had. Especially on the newer uniforms. My first pocket watch was not like the one pictured to the right, but you get the idea. I have a thing for watches and would love to collect them, but i don't really have the money or space to really do so. Which is a good thing. One type of watch i would love to someday get a hold of would be an old fashioned mechanical pocket watch. the kind you have to wind up. I currently own two watches. One is a Carolina Panthers watch, the other is a classic style that a dear friend gave me as a Groom's man's gift (i was his best man). He took the care to make sure my initials were engraved on it as well. It is currently in need of a battery, but that will be taken care of very soon. I HAVE to know what time it is pretty much regularly. When i was living with my dad in New York City, one of the things that used to do, and remember quite fondly, is when i took lessons to play the recorder. It didn't last very long but as i grew older i remember hearing a "penny whistle" (it has several names, but the latest i've heard is 'tin whistle') and i sort of fell in love with the sound. Eventually my fascination grew into a desire to learn how to play, but by then i was married, trying to go to school full time and working full time. I went so far as to purchase a tin whistle and song book at a "Country Store" near the Antietam Battle field. I practiced for a while on my own, but i never went far enough to find someone to help encourage it, so it eventually faded. I still own the instrument but i've long since lost the song book. But my children are getting a little older now and i am spending a couple of hours a week sitting somewhere while they are practicing, etc. I might look into picking it up again and practicing somewhere out of hearing range of others... at least until i can get to a reasonable proficiency. I have no clue as to how many people regularly read this blog. I doubt it's very many, but that's ok. I blog to ramble and work out my various thoughts. It's funny how the things come to mind that i blog about. The watch came to me by reading the recent article about the recent confirmation of an inscription within President Abraham Lincoln's pocket watch. It baffled my beloved that i was so interested in the story. The whistle come to mind as i watch catching up on my friend who gave me my favorite pocket watch (mentioned above - he recently took part in a cooking competition and i was trying to find out how he did), and i saw an ad on Facebook for Irish Tin Whistles. I think music is the most beautiful and universal language. My inspirations can come from anywhere.

20090309

Music Monday 20090309

Today has been a hectic day, but i've had a theme sort of going through my mind. I wanted a song to reflect my desire to be sold out to Christ. Well, entering the day today there was not any one song that stuck out to me, but then this song came to me as i was listening to Pandora.
Lifesong by Casting Crowns written by Mark Hall Empty hands held high Such small sacrifice If not joined with my life I sing in vain tonight

May the words I say And the things I do Make my lifesong sing Bring a smile to You

Let my lifesong sing to You Let my lifesong sing to You I want to sign Your name to the end of this day Knowing that my heart was true Let my lifesong sing to You

Lord I give my life A living sacrifice To reach a world in need To be Your hands and feet

So may the words I say And the things I do Make my lifesong sing Bring a smile to You

Hallelujah Hallelujah Let my lifesong sing to You

2005 Club Zoo Music (BMI) / SWECS Music (BMI) (adm. by EMI CMG Publishing)
As a 'samurai' in service to my Lord Jesus Christ... this is the only way to be. I have been waking up in the middle of the night... sort of like a friend of mine (Gunny), but different. Anyway... i think God is working on my heart in this area... being sold out mind, body, and soul, to Him... perhaps more to follow.

20090306

Writer's block

When i was in High School i hated my English class. I managed to fail every class since the 1st semester of the 9th grade. (It was one of the reasons i eventually dropped out.) One semester i realized that i had not been marked late once - despite being late numerous times (it was my first class of the day), so vowed to make a marked effort to be late. One day i even showed up five minutes before the end of class thinking, "there's no way he won't mark me late today"... there was a substitute who, wait for it... didn't mark me late! LOL I got to such a point that i would take dice into class, rolled them noisily on my desk, then took the results to answer the multiple choice questions. *sigh* I was far from a model student. This comes to mind because i was re-reading my blog from yesterday and i kept finding little mistakes. Ok, perhaps big ones. Ok, back to my original train of thought... I eventually went back and obtained my G.E.D. (i had to if i wanted to ever get promoted to Sergeant in the National Guard, or wanted to go to college - which the NG had encouraged me to do) and started college. Yet i avoided the core English requirements like the plague. Finally, after i got married and i found out that my beloved was good in English and was willing to tutor me, i finally took an English class. When i took the placement tests to see where i needed to start at the school - since i had never taken an S.A.T. i had apparently scored pretty well. Before i had received the results back from the placement tests i received a letter congratulating me, and inviting me to join the Honor's Society at the school. I had actually seriously considered it... right up until i found out that i was going to have to take English 010. That's right... it's not a typo. English 010... English Composition. What's worse... it took me four tries to finally get a "S" (satisfactory). not even a letter grade. That is a long story, but here is the kicker... it taught me to enjoy writing! I am still not very good when it comes to punctuation, or grammer, or spelling. I have always enjoyed reading, but writing is not something that comes easily. Well, publishable writing anyway. Re-reading yesterday's blog sort of reitterated that to me. It's hard to be taken seriously when you writing skills are so poor. And yet i hate to edit my own work. I have no qualms about having others mark it all up with a red pen and then combing back through it to make it work and correct, but it is like dragging my own nails across a chalk board (ah the days before white boards), and still not liking the sound. Well, i have the ideas in my head to continue my on-line story series as well as the "novel" i am writing, but i've not been able to get the words out. Mostly because of being in a constant state of something other than quiet, but also because i want it to be what i want it to be... and not some trailing thought that doesn't flow with the rest of the story. So... i spend my time re-reading my background material (previous stories i've writen as well as a plethora of old articles that describe the various aspects of the world i choose to write in). I will get back to it though. I just enjoy writing too much. Various tatics i use to get "pen to paper" - or more accurately "fingers to keyboard" because i can't write fast enough for my thoughts to flow, but i can type much faster than i can write... and yet that is still not fast enough at times. Anyway... my tactics include... outlining to give the story a framework... just diving in a typing from the beginning... and just random note taking of various ideas. For a person who has some "compulsive" tendencies in doing things certain ways... for me the writing process is rarely the same way twice. I think in the end i know my 'audience' is pretty small - but then i am not doing it for fame, fortune, or a paycheck.

20090305

Christian, Conservative, Republican - in that order

The Democrats are eating it up. This whole thing is reminding me of the Jerry Falwell and the Baker debacles. When i was a fairly "young" Christian i remember my boss listening to Rush Limbaugh while we were working (i was a carpenter's apprentice at the time), and i couldn't help but think, "why are we listening to this guy". I still think that about his audience in general. To be up front, i have not listened to him in a long time. Other than the news clips, that are pretty much everywhere right now, i cannot remember the last time i heard his voice. I am not sure what he has been saying of late, but i can almost feel the 'tone' of his message - whatever that message might be. I've said this before but it bears repeating here. Communication is a two party process. You have a sender, and a receiver. The sender has to take the message they want to share with the receiver and attempt to communicate it in such a way that the receiver understands the intended message. The sender then communicates that message across whatever medium they have to work with at hand. The receiver then has to receive said message from said medium, and then they have to translate the message and "filter it" through their own life experiences and learning. If the receiver does not understand the message the sender attempted to say, then communication has broken down - either in whole, or in part. Our lives are pretty much spent working off of partial information. Some more complete than others. If you spend your time insulting, or intentionally filtering through personal bias (everyone does the latter, just some more so than others) so that you don't hear what is being said... communication is not going to occur and things cannot get worked out. Yes, there are times when someone needs to raise an alarm. There are times when dirty laundry needs to be aired out so that a proper cleaning can take place. But when you no longer look upon another person as a peer or someone you can respect enough to enter in a dialog (meaning two-way form of communication), then you are not leading anyone. You are causing division - which is not helpful in my opinion. To be fair, Rush Limbaugh is not the only person out there that does this. I am only using his name because he is in the media of late - and boy is the media, and the Democrats, exploiting it. I know i have been considered a closed minded person because i refuse to see the 'Liberal' side of things (a very broad use of the word right now). I consider myself an Independent, but i most definitely lean to the 'right'. Just like i did not align myself my Jim and Tammy Baker, Jerry Falwell back when, i do not align myself with Rush Limbaugh. I know there is a general perception that since i am a Christian i must believe the same things as the Bakers and Falwell, i am sure that since i am a registered Republican i believe the same things as Rush. If that is how i am looked at... i don't care. I am pretty comfortable with who i am and if someone wants to make a snap judgment about me... i can't really stop them. While we are on the subjects of labels i thought i would "label" myself in regards to my Christian beliefs. This is how i would broadly label myself: "Fundamental, Pentecostal, Reformed, Charismatic, Christian Hedonist". There are many derogatory stereotypes of some of these labels, and that's ok. I can live with that. I consider myself a "Fundamentalist" because i believe in the divinity of Jesus Christ - i believe that before the world was formed Christ was and He choose to lay that down and become man. I believe in the inerrancy of scripture - across all available sources of text there is a greater than 95% agreement, better than the works of Plato or even Shakespeare. I believe that Christ was born of a virgin - and her name was Mary. I believe that Christ's death on the cross was a propitiation, or payment in full, for my sins past, present, and future. I also believe that He then rose from the dead on the third day and thus defeating death. I believe in the miracles of Christ - I believe he feed the 5,000 and walked on water and healed the Centurion's servant and raised Lazarus from the dead. I believe that Christ will someday return to the earth the same way (but in reverse obviously) he ascended. I consider myself "Pentecostal" in that i believe my life is transformed by the Holy Spirit. That i am not the same person i was before the day i accepted Christ into my heart and life, and although i continue to struggle with sin in my life, the Holy Spirit is here with me to help me continue to walk out my ongoing sanctification. I believe that the Bible is the deffinitive source of authority in my life concerning my faith. I consider myself "Reformed" in that how we should walk out our faith is akin to the early church. We need to live out our "church experience" as a dedicated body of believers, committed to the local church - whether that is the group of believers that meet at the church building on corner, or few families that meet in a basement of a house. We need to live lives that are intertwined with other believers where we can speak into each others lives and help share one another's burdens. I also do not believe that traditions can ever form a basis for my belief, instead the "Word of God" (aka The Bible) is my ultimate source. I consider myself "Charismatic" because i believe that my relationship with God can be experienced in my response to His Word. My emotions can be a valid part of my experience in the worship of Christ. I also believe that the gifts of the Spirit are for today. I acknowledge my agreement with these statements with the following caveat: It must be tested by the Word of God. Finite man can't possible be the final authority in regards to the relationship with the Infinite. Even though we know our experiences better than any other our flesh is corrupted and we can feign an outward appearance in order to deceive the world... and a lie told often enough will eventually be believed by the liar. The same can be said of the gifts of the Spirit. I think this "label" is the most often rejected by others because it is so easily abused and misused. But how can my emotions not be affected as God reveals His glories to me? How cannot i despair and fear when i see the depravity of my soul without Christ? As for the gifts of the Spirit how can one deny the healing of the sick, or "words of wisdom" spoken by an unknowing commenter that say just the right thing? But, do not allow these things to be the final authority in your life. I am a Christian because i do believe in Christ and i am His disciple and follower. I consider myself a "Hedonist" because i feel that the ultimate goal of my life is to glorify Christ. For me John Piper is my hero in this regard. As a human being it is only natural to desire to seek out what is best for me. To seek out things for my best interest. I want comfort, peace, security. I want prosperity and i want what is what is best for me! As a Christian gets to know Christ you slowly begin to realize that all of these things are ultimately found in Him! If we live our lives for Christ he provides us with everything that is indeed best for us! Therefore it can be said that by dying to ourselves we live in Christ. God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him. He is our joy, our peace, our security, our prosperity (if you will). The best thing for us, the thing that is in our best interest, is to be found in Him. Overall i am very grateful for the teachings i have received from men like C.J. Mahaney, John Piper, Robin Boisvert, Bob Kauflin, Jeff Purswell, and many others... if it were not for these men and their desires to glorify God in all that they do i would not be the man i am today. I know that the day i stand before the Throne of Heaven there will be many things i am mistaken about, but God has used each of these men (both named and un-named) to produce a foundation of bedrock in my life. I encourage anyone who may stumble across this blog to delve into what you believe, and why you believe it. If you do not have a joy and a passion for what you believe - you need to revisit it.

20090304

Misc Tuesday Ramblings

Ever feel like that whatever you do it's just not good enough. From a spiritual sense the notion is true. Our most valiant, Congressional Medal of Honor worthy, efforts will never bridge the gap between where we stand and where God is. But i am not referring to that in this post. Most people will agree that men - in general - are 'wired' to want to fix things. We see, or hear, about something that is wrong and we want to fix it. I know that when my beloved talks to me about various things it's very hard for me to not want to try and talk through how to fix things. Most of the time she just wants to talk it through, and for her that seems to be enough. but for me whatever it is is just lying there under the surface... waiting for me to take some form of action. And when that something is something that i have no control over, have no knowledge of how to fix, nor do i know anyone who knows how to fix... it can be extremely frustrating. Well, for the past eighteen months (and counting) my beloved has suffered from severe non-migraine headaches. She has been to several doctors and has been prescribed several medications. The antibiotics would help some, but once the Rx ran its course they would come back. The allergy medications worked the best but again, once they ran their course... She is currently receiving allergy shots once a week, and is on a pretty potent pain medication that she is supposed to take "as often as you need", but they leave her "loopy" for lack of a better word. The result is she is either kind of out of it, or in pain and is irritable to those around her. This has been her almost constant state for the last year and a half. The doctors have talked about the need to do various things like, remove carpeting from the house, get rid of pets (we don't have any), buy a Hepa vacuum cleaner, etc., so i started to look around to see what we could do. What i decided to do, that seemed to have the most impact for the money, was purchase a home air hepa system. A co-worked had to buy one for his wife who is severely disabled and says it changed her life. Before he had this system he had to perform the Heimlich manuver on her at least every other day, as well as change out his furnace filters every two to three weeks. Since he bought this system he has had to only do the Heimlich "maybe once", and he has gone to changing the furnace filters every other month. My beloved is not the only one who suffers with allergies, we all do. We also seem to have a lot of sinus infections during the fall and winter. I finally decided to do something by buying this system even though she is getting the shots and we all take allergy medicine. But it seems to be causing my beloved a lot of consternation. This is the story of my life. No matter what action i take it does not seem to be the right one.
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A long time friend called me up out of the blue this weekend to see if i would like to catch a movie or something this coming weekend. Once i made sure the calendar was clear i took him up on it. We're going to go catch The Watchmen. Before seeing the trailers for this movie i wasn't sure what it was all about. By the time these graphic novels came out i had been out of the comic book 'scene' and not really keeping up with the various story lines, etc. But that shan't matter because it will be a chance to hang out with a friend and catch a 'guy's' movie because it's not something i do very often. Speaking of movies i caught wind of a new trailer put out on-line for the new Terminator: Salvation movie (Due in theaters May 21)... Speaking of which... i recommend the television series Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. I check out various web forums for this show and the pessimism about this shows future drives me nuts. I am not naive enough to think that it will last forever, and it might even be hard to last beyond a this season, but i think it has a pretty good story line, and i am liking the characters enough to watch and try and keep track of what's going on. Fox, if you read this i am asking that you give this show a shot at a third season. I think the audiences out here will begin to appreciate it more as this season starts to wind down and some of the ideas the writers and trying to bring about. It may be taking longer than some may want it to, there are those of us out here that are willing to see some of the character development - especially that of the title character - we have seen of late. I know not everyone is into this genre, but i am pretty excited about it. I am also looking forward to The Road, but i think that movie will be more subdued. All of these things are spurring on my ideas for my "novel" (i use quotes because it is highly unlikely more than my immediate friends will ever read it, and probably not many of them). Still it is fun to write when i have time - which is about 300 words at a time. Well, this all i have time for today... here is the Yahoo! trailer for the movie...
Some day i might understand my fascination with this genre... that and my fascination with the feudal samurai... but of the latter i think i understand that a little more. May God richly bless each of you with His unlimited, and unmerited, grace.

20090303

Music Monday deferred... again

I usually do not allot a lot of time at home to blog... practically none, so when i do have access to the WWW my priorities are elsewhere. In any event, last night i was on-hold trying to re-register some Bible software i had loaded on an old laptop, and to see if i could even load it on the new Windows Vista (i know there will be a way, just will it be simple or...) and an old song came on as some of the hold music. It was perfect... it made me forget i was on hold waiting for a person and "took" me away to meditate. Maybe i am just that ditsy and easily distracted i don't know. If you have never heard of the man Keith Green i highly encourage you to click on the links (on his name) as well as for once of his legacies: Last Days Ministries. In my opinion he could write powerful contemporary songs before Christian music was thinking along those lines.
Grace by Which I Stand by Keith Green Lord, the feelings are not the same, I guess I'm older, I guess I've changed. And how I wish it had been explained, that as you're growing you must remember, That nothing lasts, except the grace of God, by which I stand, in Jesus. I know that I would surely fall away, except for grace, by which I'm saved. Lord, I remember that special way, I vowed to serve you, when it was brand new. But like Peter, I can't even watch and pray, one hour with you, And I bet, I could deny you too. But nothing lasts, except the grace of God, by which I stand, in Jesus. I'm sure that my whole life would waste away, except for grace, by which I'm saved. But nothing lasts, except the grace of God, by which I stand, in Jesus. I know that I would surely fall away, except for grace, by which I'm saved.
As i continue to walk through this life, trying to provide for and lead my family reminders like this are so sweet to my soul. The longer we walk with the Lord, the more aware we become of the sin that so devastatingly permeates everything we do. I once heard it say that sin in our lives is like yeast in a ball of dough.re is nothing that is not stained by it. Our best work is tainted by it. That is why we are in so desperate need of a Savior, and that is why i am so in need of my Savior's grace day-by-day... moment by moment. I no longer fear the second death, but i know that without His sacrifice i would not have such an opinion. May God surround each of you with His loving arms, and may He gently reveal the mercy and grace that is so readily available through His Son, Jesus Christ.