Enough is never enough

This morning i was reminded that sometimes no matter how hard we try we do not always get things right. Our best efforts, our best intentions, no matter how motivated we might be it will never be perfect. Sometimes our intentions are not noble, they are mischievous. Sometimes our failures are mistakes. But in the end the result is the same. A perfect 'score' has not been achieved. Even the best efforts, the noblest intentions, have some taint of imperfection. "A little leaven leavens the whole lump." (Galatians 5:9, ESV) - it only takes a hint of selfish ambition, or pride, or covetousness, or any other form of sin, and the sin works it way through and taints the whole. "If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us." (1 John 1:8, ESV) There are two expressions that kind of bother me. The first one is that there is good in everyone. Good and evil are used in relevant terms. In one sense i could agree with this expression. When used in a human comparison point of view, yes this is possible. But when used in light of God's perfection this is not true.

"And Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone." (Luke 18:19, ESV)

The second is giving "110%". This would imply that it is possible to give more than your all. By the very definition our "all" IS 100%. It is impossible to give more than that. The expression of giving "110%" would imply that the standard for "all" is a bar set so that everyone can achieve it and thus the person giving the "110%" was superior to all of the rest because (s)he was able to give more. Granted we are not all born with the same abilities. I will never be an Evangelist like Billy Graham, or an Apologist like Lee Strobel. In college i took Finite Math. At the beginning of the semester the instructor told us that he grades on a curve because it is rare for anyone to score higher than the upper 60's and he felt that it would be unfair to fail the entire class because they could not score high enough on his tests. Well, when the first test came back there were two in the class who score in the upper 90's while the rest of the class was in the Intrsuctor's anticipated range. When it happened again with the second test i thought the class was going to Lynch me and the other guy. Fortunately the Instructor saw this and informed us that he would exempt our two scores from the over all curve. Having said that i will still never be a mathematician like Albert Einstein. Our best is our best, and my 100% is not your 100% and vice versa. Today i am "suffering" with the fact that i am not perfect. I want to be perceived in certain ways. I have been known to 'exagerate' (i.e. lie) personal accomplishments in order to be better thought of by others. I like being thought of as the 'hero' in my home. The 'go to' guy in all things. I like the fact that others come to ask me things at work (i still think it ironic that i am asked to proof read things... especially since i never passed an English class past the first half of the 10th grade). But here's the kicker... when i fail to live up to some perceived standard (more often than not - my own) i get irritated, and too often it spills out on those around me. Such is the sin of pride. If you take such a train of thought out to its logical conclusion... isn't that what got Satan and his followers tossed down from Heaven? But the truth is we are to run the race as if to win it? (1 Corinthians 9:24) And at the same time realize that because of my own sin i will never achieve the perfect obediance that God requires... it is ONLY by His grace, His substitution that i am redeemed and made perfect it in sight. In the end i do receive the prize because of His initiation on my behalf.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. [2] The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling [3] the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." (2 Corinthians 5:17-21, ESV)

Ramblings of the first order

A few weeks back i was sent an e-mail about the upcoming movie about Billy Graham. It looks very interesting (at least to me). I went to the official website for this cool widget: It's not in what i would even call a limited release, but i would encourage anyone who has even the slightest interest in this man i would encourage you all to search out a movie theater and watch. This is a man who amazes me. I am looking forward to watching this movie. For the first time in several weeks i picked up my notes for my "long" short story. I actually would like to go "full length" (about the size of a 250 page paperback) with it, so I am taking my time. I have five characters i am 'fleshing' out. I have three main 'sections' roughly outlined. I have the background worked out. I know the end that the characters will be moving towards, and i have a rough idea of how they are going to move in that direction. The one thing i noticed about 'full length' books is that they are flush with details. Often a page worth of writing is used to set the mood and describe the environment... all the while keeping the reader interested. Not an easy task to be sure. One bad thing though... almost every time i review the main characters, i dislike the names i've chosen. I dunno - maybe i will just settle on them and move on. I could just me now... i have the hundreds of pages completed and edited, i actually am going to get published and the deadline looms to be submitted and 15 minutes before i send it up i run through the whole thing and change one or more of the names! lol (note, the picture i used above is from the released pictures for Fallout 3... which i am looking forward to very, very much) Speaking about Fallout 3, it is now only 2 weeks and 6 days away. I am still looking forward to this game's release. I am also tempering my excitement by the fact that my 'free' time will most likely not take any steps to grow between now and then, nor after. The more i read about this game (the latest is from the guy who wrote the Game Guide) only makes me think that it is unlikely i will ever fully explore the game. Which is fine, but i just know that in the years ahead i am going to be researching ways how to make the OS of my computer backwards compatible. :) Something i have been banging my head against the wall recently with my own home PC. I was able to make several of my kids older games work, but not all of them. To make matters worse my printer no longer works! After a couple hours of searching, etc. i finally stumbled across a note that Vista does not have a driver, nor does the manufacturer. *sigh* Maybe I should just create a disk image when i get everything the way i want it... and then reload it on a separate drive partition or something. :) In closing... last week at our Bible Study meeting we talked about 'abuse' within the church and i sort of came to a conclusion. All my Christian life i felt called into some form of leadership role within the body of Christ. But lately it seems like the Lord is showing me that this is not the case. Not that i can't, or won't, be in such a role in the future, but that my place is more in the support variety, which is not a bad place to be. Not just that is now, but that may have been always the case. My own pride and assumptions may have led me to believe that a leadership role was for me. It does not matter what role i play within the body, i just want to be associated with the body! I am more than willing to be a street sweeper in heaven, so long as i am there to worship my God and my Creator, and not left out where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth. Verse for today: Proverbs 8 : 12-21, ESV “I, wisdom, dwell with prudence, and I find knowledge and discretion. The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate. I have counsel and sound wisdom; I have insight; I have strength. By me kings reign, and rulers decree what is just; by me princes rule, and nobles, all who govern justly. [1] I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me. Riches and honor are with me, enduring wealth and righteousness. My fruit is better than gold, even fine gold, and my yield than choice silver. I walk in the way of righteousness, in the paths of justice, granting an inheritance to those who love me, and filling their treasuries.