Monday Muddy ramblings

I have been trying fairly hard to come up with songs further and further in advance for my Monday blog entries, but the past seven days have been a whirlwind for me, and i am writing this in a somewhat fuzzy state of mind so it may be even less coherent than usual.

First, i do not have a song for this week. 8(  Alise is so much more faithful than i when it comes to this weekly offering.  I apologize dear readers.  I love music so much, but it is often hard for me to narrow it down to just one song, especially a song that i have not (preferably) used before.  And then, when i wait until the last minute, i often run out of time.

Last week i made a new "friend" on Facebook.  It is a woman who is a fellow MouseHunt player, but she also has a daughter who deals with Autism.  Granted she has been placed in a restricted group of my friends, but through her i found a new blog of her struggles with Autism (she lives in the UK), and as a result a whole new set of "link branches" to click and read.  Soon my mind began to swim.  Not that i do not feel for these parents, or care about what they are going through, but i began to feel overwhelmed in regards to my own struggles with my son.  Still, it was nice to meet someone with similar interests and struggles.  In a way... it was nice to see we are not alone in our struggles.  I would have to read some more, but i think the parents in the UK have it harder, or maybe it's just how good the support is we have where i live.

I want to develop my own little blog award.  Is that egotistical?  I do not come across a lot of blogs that i admire in regards to spiritual matters, and i am not trying to say that because i admire it, it is right or wrong.  I just want to have a way that i respect it, and perhaps have a way of creating links to such blogs to personally recognize them.  I mean... i am not anyone famous... my blog does not really have all that many followers... please feel free to post a comment and share your thoughts...

I was poised to get going on my writing last week when i had a minor revelation... i am hesitating because i really am not sure how to think, and write, from an alien perspective. As i have done "research" i have found someone i would consider an "Authority" on all things (Warhammer 40k) Eldar ~ Gav Thorpe.  I recently sent him an e-mail to ask a few questions in regards about how Eldar think, etc. and he took the time to answer!  His answers made me re-examine a few character traits, or at least how i might try and write them.  And not only his answers, but the brief excerpt from his book.His first Eldar novel, The Path of the Warrior, was just released and Amazon.com has notified me that it is on its way to me!.  I am really looking forward to reading his book, and over the course of time i have learned that this is just the first of three!  Yippie!  The Path of the Seer, and The Path of the Outcast are the next two.  While i am eager for the last title the most... i will have to wait the longest... but i think it will be worth it.  I have another "chapter" to release on my short story blog... but i think i should proof it at least one more time.

I will close this week and say that i have learned that no matter how "noble" my intentions are, my execution of such are not always at an optimum level.  For many reasons, many of which i do not fully comprehend (and that is OK), COWGIRL and her children have moved out.  She was offered a whole house to stay at rent free (just utilities), and that is an awesome opportunity for her and her family.  A ton more space and a chance to just be alone as a family - which is really important during this time.  Please continue to pray for her as she continues to seek out treatment for stage IV colon cancer.  The path ahead is still uncertain, and is filled with many a rock, but she has a really good fighting spirit and is really taking charge in making sure she gives herself every chance to fight this disease.  Changing her diet, seeking the elders to pray over her, and anything else she can think of.  I will try and keep people updated in the weeks and months ahead.  If you know me IRL and want a better means to keep up, please let me know.

Randomness of the Random Kind

1. What was the last thing about which you procrastinated? ~ Um, getting up this morning.  There are some days i really just want to stay in bed.  I try and allow the bliss of unconsiousness to wash back over me, but then i remember my obligations and responsibilities and i force myself to go ahead and get out of bed.

2. How long does it take you to fall asleep, and do you sleep through the night? ~ That is a multifaceted topic.  There are some days when i am asleep within two minutes of getting horizontal.  Then there are other nights where it can take me an hour or more.  Especially on a night when i might be a slittle tired, but i do not allow myself to just slip off into slumber.  Eventually my body goes into military mode and begins to produce small amounts of adrenaline to keep me alert.  This in turn keeps me awake.  But in either scenario i will usually wake up between two and five times a night.  Most times i can get myself to fall back asleep in a few minutes, but at least once it takes a good 20-45 minutes.  I am not sure why i wake since i do not HAVE to go to the bathroom.  I am not consiously worrying about something.  I try and remember to take these times to go over in my head things that i am thankful for, people to pray for, or i will even read a chapter from the Bible.  I am not always heavenly minded to be honest though, to be completely honest.

3. Which decade would you choose to exemplify your favorite fashion styles? ~ I remember my all time favorite "style" was wearing woodland camoflauge pants, a tee shirt, and an open flannel pattern shirt.  Very comfortable, but not very good at attracting the girls.  I am not a real follower of fashions, or trends.  I could not tell you even when something was in style.  If i am watching a period piece and i do not know in advance what period it is, i could not discern it by what the people are wearing.  I have a hard enough time noticing what the person next to me is wearing on any given day, so... basically i have no clue.

4. What is your personal best dish to feed a crowd? ~ Um... i hope i do not sound sexist... but, that is my Beloved's forté.  If i have to feed more than my family i am more inclind to go to KFC or Sam's or somewhere i can buy prepared meals in bulk.  Preferably a catering service.

5. Are you an impulse shopper? What was the last thing you bought on impulse? ~ I am almost entirely an impulse shopper. 8(  I bought Shadow King by Gav Thorpe in my impulse to learn more about how Elves think.  I have also pre-ordered his book, Path of the Warrior which is due out in late June/early July.

6. What is one wish you have for your own funeral? ~ There is something that has always appealed to me about the Jazz Funeral you typically see in a New Orleans setting.  People are dancing, playing lively music, celebrating life. 

I know people typically experience sadness at the loss of someone in their lives, but i tend to view that as being selfish to some degree.  People are sad because they have lost someone, or something.  But for the Christian it should be a time of celebration.  The Christian who has passed is no longer suffering, no longer feeling pain.  They are now in the presence of God where all their tears are wiped away.  I pray that when it comes time for my own funeral that i have shared my anticipated joy to such an extent that those who come to my funeral will be celebrating with me.

7. If it's true that joy is in found in the simple things in life, what does your joy look like today? ~ Today it is the joy of writing.  I enjoy writing this blog, i enjoy writing stories for my fictious characters.  Sometimes i even enjoy writing at work.  I don't know why i am finding joy in this today... it even caught me by surprise.

8. What is your favorite type of bread? ~ San Franciso Sour Dough Bread.  My mouth is literally watering as i think about it right now.  And there IS a difference between the sour dough breed you can get in the local market versus the stuff you get in San Francisco California.  I say this from personal experience.  The local stuff is good, but the original from the likes of Fisherman's Wharf is so much better.  The crunch, the smell, the taste.  Ok, i have to stop before i impulsively buy a ticket out West...

9. What trait do you fear developing the most? (Laziness, greediness, grumpiness, etc.) ~ Laziness... sadly i have seen this trait creeping in to my daily life.  It has been a life long battle, and i worry about succumbing to it. Laziness, at least for me, is a contributor to other bad traits.  One day, i am lazy and i don't feel like washing the dishes.  The next day i get grumpy because there are no clean glasses to drink out of, etc.  The Bible warns us in several places against "a little slumber, a little folding of the hands" in many places.  We must be diligent.  We must take the extra steps.  It is in the little things that are all too often the first things passed over in laziness, that make the biggest differences.

10. What trait would you like most to develop? ~ Diligence... i would like to develop persistance in following up on the little things i mentioned above.  Not the pursuit of perfection, but the pursuit of doing the things that i can do in order to contribue to the whole.

11. Which room in your house best reflects your personality? Why? ~ Sadly i do not have a room in my own home that reflects my personality.  Why?  Because it would not go with the overall decor of the house.  I desperately need a "man cave" in order to be able to display my retirement present, the canister from my first live fire when i became a Howitzer Section Chief.  I would love a place to build, paint and display my "little army men".  To hang up my Carolina Panthers paraphanalia.  It's not that my Beloved has denied me, it is that i have never exerted myself to stake a claim for my own turf within our home.  Maybe in a decade or so, when the kids are all out of the house and on to college or their own families.

12. How do you maintain balance in your life regarding, work, family, church, other organizations and activities, and blogging? ~ I have a secret weapon that God has graciously provided me.  This awesome gift to me helps me keep my ego and pride in check, it helps me keep straight the events that are coming up, helps me set my priorities in regards to spending and life choices.  This secret weapon is indeed a gift from God.  I am confident that without this gift i would still be working a blue collar job with no real prospects or desire to improve.  I would still be whittling away the precious hours of my life on things that have no real signifigance.  This secret weapon, this incredible gift of God... my Beloved.  The blog is just me rambling and pittering away on trivial things.  8)

April Randoms bring May thoughts

1. Define a great relationship. ~ Whew, nothing like starting off with an easy one, eh?  Wow... umm, i think it starts with not taking yourself too seriously (something i really struggle with).  Communication is key, and i am not saying talking to one another... but with one another.  Grace... not only do we benefit with the grace from above, but when we extend it to one another - and ourselves(!).  Remember, no one has it right straight out of the gate.  It takes work.  Hard work.  It is NOT a 50-50 type of deal.  It takes 100% effort from both parties, because there will be times when your 100% is severely lacking, and your partner is going to have to come more than half way to meet you - and vice-versa.

2. Why is it called a "drive-through" if you have to stop? (Real question: What was the last food/drink you purchased at a drive-through?) ~ It was a breakfast burrito and large Coke, but after watching Supersize Me i am not sure i will ever eat fast food again!  I can't fathom eating bugs, even to survive (which makes me glad i never tried SERE school), and now... i am thinking i might just go hungry the next time i am in a hurry.

3. As I type this, the Butler Bulldogs are getting ready to play in the NCAA championship game. Every Hoosier is hysterical about this except me. So in honor of the Bulldogs ... what is your favorite breed of dog? (I tried.) ~ LOL, my all time favorite is the Welsh Corgi. I had one when i was a teenager, and "Lord Spastic" (Spaz for short) was my best friend and confidant.  He went everywhere with me, that i was allowed to take him that is.  He had a great disposition, he rarely barked, and he was great around other people.  I used to answer "Siberian Husky" to this question, but i've thought about it, and the Corgi is the winner.

4. If you had to move to a state besides the one you currently live in, where would you move? ~ I don't really know.  I've thought maybe Arizona, or New Mexico... but when it is 120 degrees... does it really matter if there is humidity or not?  A few friends have recommended Wyoming, but once i heard about another friend's story where his running pickup truck froze to the ground... forget about that!  Alaska is beautiful, but cold a lot of the time.  Montana is also beautiful but in addition to be so cold in the winter is being fairly isolated.  I love the architecture and the "affordability" of the housing in Texas, but it is not only HOT, but humid as well.  Hawaii... but only if i win the lottery first so that i can afford the $10 gallons of milk, etc.

5. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be? ~ That is a really deep question.  Wow... um... i would like to not move around so much.  Before the age of 18 i lived in Washington DC, Cherry Hill NJ, Philadelphia PA, Brooklyn NY, Arlington VA, Annandale VA, Springfield VA, Athens WV (if my cousins read this, yes i count those three awesome months i spent with you guys), Olney MD, and Rockville MD.  Some of these places more than once.  For example, between the end of the 8th grade and the start of the 10th grade i lived in 7 different places and attended 3 different schools (not counting the schools i attended in 8th or 10th grade).  When i was 16 my mother announced that she was moving (yet again), i couldn't take it any more.  At the time we were living with a family who had kindly taken us in.  I asked the mother if i could stay with her, and she graciously consented.  I was charged a minimal rent, but she helped me stabilize my life.  Thank you Mom II.  I really hope and pray that i get to say so in person in heaven.

6. Who's the funniest person you know? ~ Ah... humor.  8|  So relative, so personal humor is.  Bill Cosby is hands down THE funniest man i know of.  I like quite a few comedians, but Mr. Cosby is it!  He is clean, he is factual, and he can deliver the build up and punchline with great timing.

7. Did you get enough sleep last night? ~ Hahahahahahahahaha - no.  I've not had a good night's sleep in a long time, but i recently purchased a 2.5" memory foam mattress topper, and it has improved my quantity of sleep immensely.  Tomorrow i will get fitted for a CPAP machine which should improve things even more.

8. What's the first thing you thought about this morning? ~ I gave thanks to God for another day, and i asked Him to give clarity to the doctors who would be performing and reading the MRI i was to have done.  I've mentioned it previously, but apparently something i had as a young child has been with me all this time and it resurfaced (i.e. was finally noticed again) during my recent sleep studies.  My 'flesh' has been pretty nervous over it all, but God has brought me this far and i place my trust in Him to take me through to the point of standing before His throne.  This "thing" should have prevented me from ever getting a driver's license and out of the military altogether ~ but it hasn't.  It has also not apparently impeded my career or my family life, nor is it life threatening.  So, my first thought was  gratefulness, and requesting His guiding hand to continue to shape my life.

9. Grilled or Fried? --HONESTLY ~ That totally depends on what we are talking about.  However, i would say my preference is mostly for grilled.  My mouth is watering just thinking about vegetable skewers simmering with a tasty marinade, or some well seasoned steaks...  Ok... now that i am distracted i cannot think of one thing i life fried...

10. Are you afraid of the dark? ~ Not really.  I can usually find my way around pretty easily if i am a little familiar with the area.  I've also been pretty good at finding my way in unfamiliar places.  One thing does come to mind, if i am in a very cramped place that i am not familiar with, and it is completely dark... i might freak out about that.

11.When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? ~ Archangel of the X-Men.  I so wanted to be able to fly high above the earth.  Go where i wanted and just breath the air.  The X-Men were my first serious favorite comic book series.  I related much more with Wolverine though.

12. If you had one word to describe yourself , what would you choose? ~ Have you never read my blog!  One word!  You can't be serious (i am picturing John McEnroe in my head right now).  Um... RANDOM. 

Miscellaneous Ramblings to pass the time

The past two days have been pretty much a blur.  I had a song picked out for yesterday's Music Monday post, but i never had a moment to actually get it entered in.  If i'm smart i will save it and get a head start for next week.  So, instead i will just move along...

Not long ago (i may have mentioned) i finally took my beloved's advice and went and had a sleep study done.  For the most part the results were predictable and i have been prescribed a CPAP machine.  It's been... interesting trying to make sure i get all of the insurance company's requirements taken care of, but i felt a LOT better the morning after the second test.  There was "anomaly" that concerned both the technicians monitoring me over night, and the doctor who reviewed the readings later.  Well, the good news is that those "anomalies" did not occur with the CPAP during the second test.  Yea!  This "anomaly" is a resurgence of a childhood issue, and has me sort of concerned.  By God's grace though, it appears to be nothing more than a blip on the radar.

I know there used to be a few rabid book readers who would frequent this blog, but i am not sure if they still do or not.  Be that as it may... i have noticed that my pile of partially finished books keeps growing.  Right now i am about 1/3 of the way through Stonewall Jackson: The Man. The Soldier, The Legend; a little over half way through The Last Patriot; I've just begun Proclaiming a Cross-centered Theology; been re-reading and about a third of the way through A Book of Five Rings; and barely even scratched Humility: True Greatness.  I love reading, but i really just need to knuckle down and finish at least one of them!   The good part of all this reading though, it has inspired sort of a writing spurt.

I don't remember how i found it, but i have found a new blog (called *Cute n Cool Blog Stuff*) site to help me learn how to customize my blog here.  She even, apparently, is willing to be hired to do some as well.  I don't have a lot of tools (like Photo or Paint Shop Pro), but i am looking forward (i hope) to trying to get some things done to spruce up the Ol' Dojo.

Yesterday i shared a link on Facebook titled, "Christian Faith: Calvinism is Back".  I thought it was a very interesting read, and it encouraged me personally.  In my opinion America needs a does of realizing exactly how depraved, how offensive, and just what it cost Christ to come to atone for sin on our behalf.

I had to cut today's entry "short" because i kept coming up with random things to blog about, and i was running out of time faster than i could keep up with my own train of thought!  *sigh* Such are the trials and tribulation of having ADD... even though i have found it quite beneficial in my day to day career. Well, i have "saved" them for another day... i am finally queuing up thoughts again!