Panthers @ Ravens

Part of me was hoping the Ravens would pull off an upset in Denver last night. If for nothing else than to maybe give them some cockiness. But the loss last night will probably go a long way to firming their resolve. Ray Lewis is indeed all over the field. Although the Ravens offense looks like it has a ways to go the Denver home field advatage is just that. It was cold, it was wet, and it was loud. It will not be like that in Baltimore. Well, it might, but it will be in the Ravens favor, not the Panthers. A lot of people think the Panthers are vamping up for their run... this Sunday's game will go a long way to proving that or... Tomorrow my beloved will be having some form of radiological scan of her thyroid. It is apparently swollen and our new doctor is concerned. After a CT scan (I think that is what it was) the doctor is concerned. It has also raised some consternation within the dojo of late. With that and some issues going on with my own health... things are par for the course. A par of people going through life getting older. On a side note: I am doing fairly well in two fantasy football leagues I am in. I am 5-0 in one, and 4-0 in the other! Pure luck. But this week I am will be hurting as both my QB's have bye weeks. Who thought of this bye week anyway! :) In the other football games I play I am not doing nearly as well. Oh well. Updates: My Short Stories Verse for today: Romans 8:38-39, esv For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Columbus Day

I am a contractor for the Federal government, but my employer does not give Columbus Day as one of it's regular holiday's - so I am here at work today. Not much going on, but my mind is kind of blank. I am not sure what to write about. Although the Panthers won another game yesterday I am not ready to go out and buy my tickets to Super Bowl XLI just yet. They went 0-11 on third down! The incredible Mr. Smith dropped 3 passes, one of them in the endzone, and another where he had a shot at another touchdown. I am also wondering about calling a time out with less than 2 minutes to play in the game with the score 20-9 in your favor. Granted, I was not watching the game live, and I am reading most of what I am commenting on (as opposed to watching it first hand). But I am concerned. With teams like the Bears just dominating the game as they did yesterday... if the Panthers make into the playoffs I am not getting my hopes up - yet. The next two weeks will be good measurings rods in my opinion. They go on the road against the Baltimore Ravens and the Cincinnati Bengals (who are the Bungles no more IMO). The Ravens have a very nasty defense again this year, and their offense is moving the ball better than their recent Super Bowl team IMO. The Bengals are pysched up after winning their division last year, and their win over the Steelers of a week ago. If the Panther split these games I will feel much better - if they win both then I will start to get excited - but if they lose them both I will be pulling for a .500 season or better. On a more personal note: I sent my beloved an e-mail on Friday. Our lives are so hectic that we rarely get to see one another for very long, and when we do there is little time to talk about things other than what ever is the latest 'fire'. So, in an attempt to continue to get to know her I sent an e-mail proposing that we exchange questions. She will ask me a question, I will then answer it as completely as I can, then ask her a questions, and then vice-versa. She sent me her first question and I made sure to answer it... but then I found my brain had a cramp and could not come up with a good question read: that I did not feel sounded childish, or niave, or just out right stupid). But anyway, that ball is rolling. And I am gald. Well, I need to wrap up today - maybe even get in some extra study time. Updates: None Verse for today: 2 Samuel 1:7, esv And David spoke to the Lord the words of this song on the day when the Lord delivered him from the hand of all his enemies, and from the hand of Saul. He said, “The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my [1] God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold and my refuge, my savior; you save me from violence. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies. “For the waves of death encompassed me, the torrents of destruction assailed me; [2] the cords of Sheol entangled me; the snares of death confronted me. “In my distress I called upon the Lord; to my God I called. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry came to his ears.

Guys night out - Movie night

It all started with me wanting to go see the movie 'Flyboys' with a couple of friends (read one or two), but then I added another, and another... I just didn't want to leave anyone out. Well it has expanded to about a dozen or more! One thing led to another and we are now meeting at The Texas Steak House for dinner... but the movie is now up in the air. The movie only opened up two weeks ago and it has already been shuffled off to the matinee only section. But it is playing in Hagerstown - at 10:15. And I am bound and determined to see this movie in the movie theater. Not really sure why though. When I was a kid I used to pretend to be a WWI flying ace - not WWII, or even a figther jet. Nope, it was the good old fashioned Bi-planes that intregued me. I'd zip around on my bike pretending to be looping and swooping. Wierd. :) Well, that is it for today. I hope that all who find this (and many, many more) feel the love of God and are given a glimpse of His amazing grace this weekend. Updates: Short story Verse for today: Ephesians 1:11-14, esv In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee [4] of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, [5] to the praise of his glory.

Gyroscopes and hurtling through life

Anyone who has ridden a bicycle or motorcycle has experienced first hand the power of what a gyroscope will do. Now, I probably don't have this done hard but this is my 'theory'. As the wheels spin the centrifical force helps hold the vehicle upright. The heavier the wheel, the harder it becomes to lean it and get it to turn (even though it's not so difficult as to make it impossible). Or, have you ever held up one of those toy gyroscopes? Get them to spinning and it actually gets harder to turn them over. Gyroscopes are very interesting things. They are used to help hold the international space station in orbit. They are used to assist in flight paths, and things like that. This morning I was thinking about how we in life have various 'gyroscopes' in our own lives. We have our personalities, and our health (spiritual, relational, physical) - things like that. And when one of them is out of wack it can cause problems. When life is coming (or going) slow instabilities in the 'gyroscope' are almost imperceptable. But speed that sucker up and the imperfections become noticable. Sort of like a tire that has not been properly balanced. Now sometimes two different 'gyroscopes' will counter act each other and although the steering wheel will woble, life stays on course. But continue to spin it up.... Sooner or later there is nothing that can hide that something is off kilter. Eventually something like an "exploding CD" effect can take place. Whatever is out of kilter - if not properly attended to and maintained from time to time - will eventually have a catostrophic failure. For me the primary 'gyroscope' needs to be my spiritual gyroscope. The one that helps my walk with God. Many times the relational one will try and override the guidance of the other one... but sooner or later it becomes obvious. Not really sure where I am coming from, or where I was going with on this one... it was just a thought that came to mind. Yet another example of me blogging to work things out in my own head. lol Updates: None Verse for today: John 14:1-7, esv “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; [1] believe also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.” [2] Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?” Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you had known me, you would have known my Father also. [3] From now on you do know him and have seen him.”

The frailties of youth

I chose the title not just because I am getting ready to turn 40, but because of a discussion I had with my beloved last night. DS2 has been having troubles lately. He does pretty well academically but when it comes to peer relationships he is having a pretty tough time. Last night he asked his mother (while he was home because he had not been invited over to a friends house along with his brother) why people did not like him. That just breaks our heart. He is such a sweet boy, but he does not always get the intricacies of social interaction. When he sees something that appears to be an injustice he is quick to come to the aide of the underdog. Unfortunately that is not always... in a way that can be construde as... well, normal. He is quick to get angry, or even very sad. He also does not take losing very well. He wants to do well, and those that are on the same team that he is on (when involved in team sports). And when they are losing (or an a perceived slight has occured) he is quick to get mad and/or sad - to include crying. My beloved and I have struggled for many years trying to understand why is this way. Last year he was finally diagnosed with Aspergers - it is a type of Autism that falls within the 'high functioning' spectrum of that disorder. Well, due to these issues with him not fully understanding social cues he tends to alienate himself from his peers. And this just breaks my beloved's (and my own) heart. Last night he was asking for a puppy. Now he is taking theraputic riding lessons on Monday nights - which he LOVES! I have been told (since I am taking DS1 to his soccer practices) that he soaks up the information like a sponge. So now I am torn. I have resisted getting a dog, any dog, for a long time. They need care. They need to be walked. They need to be trained. And they need to be fed. They take up time and money - both of which are at a premium in my home right now. Please do not get me wrong. I LOVE dogs! When I was growing up I owned a dog (well, it was my dog to take care of) - a Welsh Corgi. He came along with me on my paper route. I also think a dog would be a great thing for my son. I just don't know how we could fit in a dog now. Well, that is all I have for now. :) God bless. Updates: Hiku Verse for today: Luke 18:15-17, esv Now they were bringing even infants to him that he might touch them. And when the disciples saw it, they rebuked them. But Jesus called them to him, saying, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.”

And so a journey begins

Today, right after work, I will begin studying for the CCIE (Certified Cisco Internetworking Expert). My job requires certain proficencies. Up until the tech bubble work experience played a huge part in determining such things for employment (and sometimes continued employment). Post tech bubble and the subsequent management changes throughout the corporation that I work for pieces of paper are now predominantly used to determine proficency. This along with the fact that my salary finally reached pre-deployment levels (2002) once again and the cost of living NOT staying still I am being pinched to ensure my employability. This certification is no easy thing. It is broken up into two test. A written test that has one hundred questions with a two hour time limit costing $300 per attempt, and a lab portion of the test which is an eight hour hands on exam costing $1,250 per attempt (not including food or lodging). Anyone who has known me very long knows that I do not do well with studying on my own. I tend to be easily distracted. I also tend to get brief episodes of "brain cramping". I have been told that I am very good at this sort of thing, but I also tend to doubt my own abilities - after all, I'm the one that has had to live with them these past 40 years. No one is going to hand me this certification, and I am probably going to need it as my career goes forward. My motivations for pursuit of this takes several forms. One is fear for my job. I am essentially a contractor for a government agency. I have been blessed to work on this contract for over three years. However, there are movements within the agency that do not really like the company I work for. I have seen things that do not make sense from my point of view that reduces my company's exposure. Now, because this agency is so close to my home I would love to stay on this contract indefinetly - even if that means leaving my company to work for the government directly. My company also has some incentives with Cisco that require them to maintain certain numbers of the various certification levels. Another motivator is financial. When my unit returned from it's deployemnt in 2003 I was informed that my position had been moved to the swing shift. I voiced my concern about not being able to see my children and was basically given 30 days to find another position/job before I would no longer have a choice. By God's grace I found the job I have now. Unfortunately it included a two paygrade reduction as well as a 10% pay cut (not including the shift differential I would have gotten). For not a few reasons my pay raises since then have not been much more than 1%. Last may I finally completed the CCNA (Networking Associate) - and along with it I was given one of those paygrades back and a pretty good raise. That along with my raise this year I have finally achieved an equivilant salary of what I had. With my pending retirement from the National Guard I could use the extra income that is potentially possible from both my company and other potential employers if that need came up. The last motivator is personal. I have desired to actually pursue this certification since I got into this industry back in 1996. This certification is akin to getting a four year degree in a specific field. I am very nervous. But I know if this is God's will I will succeed. Two - four hour - study sessions a week seem like not enough time... but it is all I can dedicate to it. Status reports on this will be few and far between, but I am anticipating a two year commitment as a minimum. Well, I need to wrap this up. God bless you all.... Updates: none Verse for today: Proverbs 3:1-12, esv My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good success [1] in the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh [2] and refreshment [3] to your bones. Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the first fruits of all your produce; then your barns will be filled with plenty,and your vats will be bursting with wine. My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.

When expectations exceed experience...

...expect to be disappointed. Not really sure why I am posting this. My mind was blank and then this phrase popped up. So before it flitters away I am just letting the fingers get to typing. How often do we express disappointment with something? I know for me it's pretty often. We get something in our head. And it doesn't matter if we have anything to back up this train of thought. Such-and-such is gonna happen (usually when relating to a sporting event)... but then the reality of the situation hits and we are left looking like Wile E. Coyote - our jaw handing lose and our eyes bulging out of our head. For me I just try and remember that although I am going through life as an observer, I have faith in the orchestrator. That He already knows all of my days... and not just my days... those of my family... and my favorite football team. :) When we are disappointed about something we need to take a step back... let it go... learn a lesson - either in how we conducted ourselves (i.e. things to do differently/better), or to just trust in what God is doing. Well, that is all I really have for today. But I am happy about yesterdays games... Guaex Panthers! The rematch in December - in New Orleans - will be a battle. Updates: none Verse for today: Proverbs 2:1-8, esv My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding; he stores up sound wisdom for the upright; he is a shield to those who walk in integrity, guarding the paths of justice and watching over the way of his saints.