Thoughtless Thursday

I am at a loss for what to blog about. This past week has been a blur, and the past twenty-four hours even more so. The holes for the footers of the deck (which was my beloved's surprise birthday present) were approved this past week. Now I just need to get off my duff and to the local Home Depot to purchase the cement for the footers, as well as prepare to order all of the lumber. I am pretty nervous about getting the footers and the frame in. I am confident that once those are in I can pretty much handle the rest. I will measure success at that point by the number of boards I miss-cut (the more I do so, the less successful I will have been ;) ). I was finally able to get out and see Batman: The Dark Knight last night. I am not going to go on and on about how great this movie was. The truth is that it really was a good movie, but I wanted to comment on the various characters. Specifically Batman and the Joker. These two guys are an interesting study. Batman has "only one rule", and while it is never spoken out loud it would seem that it is that he will not kill any one - and this is the one thing that the Joker works hard to get him to compromise. As matter of fact, that seems to be the Joker's only motivation. Totally and complete anarchy. Many may see Batman as the 'ultimate good' guy, and the Joker as the 'Ultimate Bad' guy. I can see that about the Joker, but not so much Batman. I think I will have to think about this some more... maybe watch it a few more times when it comes out on DVD... but that will not be high on my priorities. Do you ever feel like there is nothing that you can do that can go right? Like what ever you touch turns to slag, not even lead. Lead can be recycled, lead can be reused. But slag is just burnt up and twisted. It's too contaminated to even be melted down to it's base elements because what it would use up is more than could be pulled back out again. That is where I find myself this morning (afternoon now). I clean out the car - I throw away some coupons and sales flyer's that my beloved was going to use. I complete my first full week of working out at the gym to begin a lifestyle change - and it is wearing me down to the point I am pretty much out of it come bed time for the kids. I start a house project (said deck mentioned above) - and I am filling up the schedule with things to do, the very thing I complain about (being too busy). I finally retire from the National Guard - and I have cut our income down too much. There are quite a few more but really, why go on... I think I've illustrated my point some. I am just thankful that I do not always get what I deserve. I love the saying, "I am doing better than I deserve" because that is the truth. Not just physically, but more importantly - spiritually. Verse for today: Psalm 103 : 15-19, ESV As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more. But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children's children, to those who keep his covenant and remember to do his commandments. The Lord has established his throne in the heavens, and his kingdom rules over all.

"No one is ever safe"

I have been rewatching season 1 of "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" this past week. (Again, I blogged on my bent towards this kind of genre... lol) I am glad that the series is more on a non-cable channel. This way I am able to enjoy the series without as much needless showing of "extra" "stuff". It was because of such things that I could never really get into "Battlestar Galactica" over on the Sci-Fi channel despite some seriously good plot lines, cinematography, and special affects. But such comparisons are not the purpose of my blog today. Last night, while my beloved was hosting a Tastefully Simple party I was able to catch the second episode. The one where they come to grips with being transported eight years into the future. An exchange between Cameron and John and Sarah Connor. Cameron states, "relax, you're safe", to which both the Connors reply, "No one is ever safe". This response actually got me to thinking about my life in general, and my walk with God. What is "safe"? Around the world there are millions of people who are not safe. They are lacking shelter, food, security. The lack community or friends to help them. But is our ultimate safety found in these things? No, not really. Our flesh craves these things because these are the things that comfort it. And trust me, when I get hungry I am not always the nicest person. ;-) Jesus shows us that our lot in life is not determined by our righteousness:

There were some present at that very time who told him about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices. And he answered them, “Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans, because they suffered in this way? No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish. Or those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them: do you think that they were worse offenders than all the others who lived in Jerusalem? No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.” (Luke 13:1-5, ESV)

A book that was recommended by my Pastors when I attended Covenant Life Church was "The Discipline of Grace" by Jerry Bridges. This book speaks really well on that whole topic of grace and things that happen, or things that we do. In the end, are we really ever "safe"? No, not in this world. Our 'securities' can fall out from beneath us. Our bank accounts drained by identity thieves, our homes could be lost due to an unforeseen accident that leads to such an event. An accident can take friends or loved ones. Even our health can fail. But can we feel secure? Yes. I cannot remember exactly where I heard this quote but it goes something like this, "A samurai views his life already as forfeit. When he enters into battle he is already dead so there is no longer a fear of death. He can focus strictly on his duty." To me this is pretty profound, especially in light of my personal view of myself as a "Christian samurai". I am in service to my Lord, Jesus Christ. I need to keep in mind that I am already dead (to the world), but that I am now alive in Christ. My ultimate safety will never be found in this world, but in the next where I get to see my Savior face to face. Does that mean I go out to hasten that event? In light of eternity this life is pitifully short. Even when man lived four hundred plus years, that is only 4% of all the recorded history of man thus far. God knows the day when I will be seeing Him in person and it is not up to me to try and pick and choose such a rendezvous. Am I safe? Do I feel secure? Yes, but it is not found in the things of this world - in which I am never "safe". Verse for today: Romans 12 : 1-2, ESV I appeal to you therefore, brothers, [1] by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. [2] Do not be conformed to this world, [3] but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. [4]

Freaking out and getting over it

As a Christian I know that the only thing I need to fear is God, and yet right now I am filled with dread. Why? Because I am applying for a new job. It is a job I have wanted for four years now but has finally just come available. I have the head knowledge of not needing to fear this, but my head and body are reacting totally contradictory to how I am supposed to. I have had a hard time just getting out of my own way, but I am now 90% done in getting the application together. The only problem is that it HAS to be in today. *sigh* Why do I do this to myself? My apologies for not having a "Music Monday" post this week. My beloved has come down with the 24 hour "Mongolian Death Flu" - or something like that. :) I am also fighting the affects from it, but I stayed home yesterday to help her, and me. Phase 1 of my deck project is complete! \o/ I originally asked just three guys to come over and help me dig the eight post holes (it will be a free standing deck) on Saturday. I thought I would be done by 5PM... silly man. In the end I did not finish, with the awesome amount of help from no less than five other guys! One guy dug the hardest one, with nothing but a post-hole digging tool - all by himself! The inspection was this morning and was approved for me to move forward. Anyone with stock in Lowe's or Home Depot, I think I will be helping increase share holder value pretty soon. LOL Ok, I need to get back and finish up that job application. God bless... Verse for today: Proverbs 12 : 1-5, ESV Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid. A good man obtains favor from the Lord, but a man of evil devices he condemns. No one is established by wickedness, but the root of the righteous will never be moved. An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. The thoughts of the righteous are just; the counsels of the wicked are deceitful.

Football and/or Fallout Fridays

Fridays are often hard for me to blog. For one thing, I am starting to run out of ideas on what to blog about, for another there is the 'pressure' of wanting to have something relevant to last for three days. ;) So, for a short while anyway, I have come up with an idea of a recurring theme. For some they will say "blah", others "who cares", but in the end I blog to ramble on for myself as a means to sort out my thoughts... so bare with me oh faithful reader(s). According to the Countdown clock I've set up on Facebook, there is only 30 more days until opening day of the 2008 NFL season! I know there is a game or something on Thursday the 4th, but those don't count because the Panthers don't play in them. ;-) The Panthers open their season in San Diego - what an awesome place to start! The weather will be great, and the excitement will be high. I am hearing good things about Beason, and Stewart, Delhomme looks like his arm has recovered nicely, and the receiving corps looks to be much improved. All of this looks great from the cheap seats, but only a regular season game will tell how things are really looking. I must say that I am disappointed with Steve Smith though. I don't know the whole story so I will not say much more about that whole thing, but I do want to comment on one thing though. It took a man to come back and own up like he did. He stood before his teammates, the media, and his fans and took responsibility for his actions. He did not try and make an excuse, he did not try and shift the blame. He said what he did was wrong and he said it was his fault. Those are the actions of a man. Slightly further away (at about 59 days) is the scheduled release of Fallout 3. I am not really sure what would be new enough to write about. I am liking what I am reading about how Bethesda Softworks has gone about doing the game tutorial. Older players (such as myself) need that extra help as we do not always play these modern games as much. I never really mastered the Pong controls, let alone the one time I actually tried Halo. LOL I am not really sure what I am all hyped up about. I enjoy video and role playing type games, but it's not like I am going to have oddles of time to spend playing it. If what all of the reviews are true (most of which can be read through this BLOG), I could spend a hundred hours playing this game and might not finish it. I like that if only because it will probably take me over a year to finish the game once. Anyway, if/when I actually get to play I might just use this time to update how well I am (not) doing. This morning I forced myself up out of bed at 6:00 to head out to the gym, even though I do not have my evaluation fully complete yet. I am the type of guy that needs to set up a routine, and then follow it. When I was asked what my immediate goals, and how many days a week I wanted to work out where I said my most immediate goal was to make this a habit. Weight loss and all that aside, if I don't change how I do 'life' then the other goals will not be very long lived. As for the number of days - five. If I only do three days a week all it will take is a bad morning where I tell myself I can sleep in today because I can just get up tomorrow, will soon become two days, which will eventually become one... and then eventually become none. I have to make it a part of my daily work routine. If I go to work, I go to the gym. That is my plan. Verse for today: 1 Corinthians 10 : 25-31, ESV Eat whatever is sold in the meat market without raising any question on the ground of conscience. For “the earth is the Lord's, and the fullness thereof.” If one of the unbelievers invites you to dinner and you are disposed to go, eat whatever is set before you without raising any question on the ground of conscience. But if someone says to you, “This has been offered in sacrifice,” then do not eat it, for the sake of the one who informed you, and for the sake of conscience— I do not mean your conscience, but his. For why should my liberty be determined by someone else's conscience? If I partake with thankfulness, why am I denounced because of that for which I give thanks? So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

You have got to love eBay

eBay has to be the epitome of capitalism. You can find almost anything there, from things as obscure as a rare movie to some kind of rare collectible. It is also really useful for finding those everyday kinds of things. Last night DS2 cames to me and tells me that he lost a game for their Gameboys (the boys share their games) and wanted me to pick one up for him. With our upcoming calender pretty packed I jumped on eBay, compared prices, placed my bid and walla, it will be arriving in probably about a week. I even compared prices for retial (saved about $10!). I didn't even have to leave the comfort of my own home. What makes eBay so capitalistic is that the seller can charge whatever price they feel the market will bare, for a fee of both the starting bid and the final bid. Oh, and don't forget if you use their banking system (better known as PayPal) - there's one more fee. Then, as long as there is a buyer out there willing to place a bid on your item, you can sell it for whatever they are willing to pay for it! I have been a member of eBay since 1998 (I can't believe it's been that long either) and thus far still have a rating below 200. I just don't use it all that often - but it's nice to browse every once in a while. I have even used it to make the occasional sale myself. Once, I was getting interested in a game called Net Runner. I wanted to just pick up a few decks to play with my son, but I kept being out bid on all the auctions. (It's best to stick to your guns instead of going crazy and say "I-just-HAVE-to-HAVE-it!".) Well, out of the blue I get an e-mail (or message through eBay) from a guy who recently bought a kite shop. He wanted to know if I would be interested in buying out his entire stock - something like ten complete cases, plus a few odds and ends. The downside... he wanted $230 for the lot. SOLD! Although my beloved was not very happy (you spent $200 on what!), I sold only seven of the cases and broke even - on eBay of course. Both the seller and the buyer have to be careful though. As a buyer, check out the rating/reputation of the seller. Make sure this is not some one who has been getting bad ratings. If you are a seller, make sure that you require payment up front. For me that extra fee that gets chopped off the top of my sale is worth it. As a matter of fact PayPal is great from both ends of the sale. The biggest thing for me... be patient. Know how much I am willing to spend up front. Compare sellers, the lowest "Pay Now" price may not be the one to go with. Be willing to walk away. You will pay way too much if you get overly excited about something. As a seller I am completely honest about the condition of the item I am selling. Maybe to the point of being overly critical. I always insist on the buyer using PayPal, or a certified Money Order - and either way, the item does not ship until payment as cleared. For me PayPal has been great. I even use it as a sort of savings account because it gives better interest than my local bank. If you are not into yard sales, and you have a reasonable idea of what it will cost to ship various items, eBay is the way to go! P.S. before I go I have to share my latest piece of flair over on Facebook. I felt that it really spoke to me: Verse for today: Psalm 31 : 1-5, ESV In you, O Lord, do I take refuge; let me never be put to shame; in your righteousness deliver me! Incline your ear to me; rescue me speedily! Be a rock of refuge for me, a strong fortress to save me!

For you are my rock and my fortress; and for your name's sake you lead me and guide me; you take me out of the net they have hidden for me, for you are my refuge. Into your hand I commit my spirit; you have redeemed me, O Lord, faithful God.

Man am I hurtin' this morning

I really enjoy working as a contractor for the Gov't, but it does have it's downside. One of them is the seemingly never ending need for information dissemination. As a result I partake in no less than two conference calls everyday. With my boss being away on a much needed vacation, and me being the senior lead tech, I have been covering for him on one of his mandatory calls every morning. One that takes place at 0530 every day. (Just in case, that is 5:30 AM). My problem is that I am not used to it. I will be glad when 'Bossman' returns. When I know I have to get up early the next morning I have trouble sleeping for some reason. In the back of my mind I keep wondering what time it is, did I set the alarm, did I set it correctly, will I hear it? As a result I wake up about ever 45 to 90 minutes, check the clock, then struggle for five minutes or so to go back to sleep. It doesn't make for a very restful night. Two things I really want to try. The first is actually drinking that one glass of red wine that my doctor wants me to drink every day, the second is a cup of the chamomile tea. I have only every tried the tea once and I was out like a light in no time flat. Another thing that is adding to my sleepiness this morning is two nights ago my beloved had a 'girls night out'. I like to encourage her to do this because she doesn't do it often enough, but the other night she was out later than I expected and I don't sleep very well when she is not there. I remember when we first got married having a time getting to sleep because I was not used to having someone in the bed with me. Now it's just the opposite! LOL A good problem to have in my opinion. Before I sign off for today there are two things I could use some prayer on. The first is I am actually going to do something about my physical fitness, and the second is I am applying for a new job. My beloved has recently gotten concerned over my two previous blood tests. A good friend of hers is a nurse and recently asked her why I wasn't on something like Lipitor. This has gotten my beloved a little stirred up, and my recent desire and pursuit of doing something about getting in shape has probably helped fueled this as well. In any event I have my first assessment at the Wellness Center I am joining today, as well getting a blood test for my doctor. The Wellness Center seems pretty well set up to help a health novice such as myself. Both blood work and stress assessments are done periodically to make sure things are on track, as well as help in setting up a routine to work on. I need both of these because I am not a "take charge" kind of guy when it comes to my personal health. If I actually make this a habit I will probably move to something like a Gold's Gym, but for now I need my hand held. Once I get this going I will be getting up early every morning, but hopefully the net affect will be me feeling more awake. The latter subject is my applying for a new job. It is not entirely new as it will be in the same field and hopefully the same building and people (God knows how much I enjoy change). My biggest struggle right now is the "KSA's" (knowledge skill assessments). There are five of them, and they are essay type questions. It also doesn't help that I am running short on time. I am struggling over panic and how to try and answer these questions. My beloved has been very encouraging and helpful, but I am filled with doubt. Verse for today: Proverbs 6 : 16-19, ESV There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.

Fallout 3 - be careful

While I was on active duty I worked the midnight shift (by design). The result was that when I was not on duty, or sleeping, most everyone else was working. I didn't get much of a chance to interact with the other soldiers. But I had my trusty ThinkPad and a really nice room I shared with another E-6. I quickly learned how to load up my music and a handful of computer games (I LOVE pinball sims BTW) I passed the time quickly. One day I picked up a copy of a game called Fallout, and I was 'hooked'. I enjoyed the storyline, the tongue in cheek humor. I liked being able to make moral choices while playing a game. When I learned about Fallout 2 I picked up a copy of that as well, but I never finished it as my tour of duty came to an end and it got placed on the shelf. I still own copies of both games. Given my affinity for the genre, when I learned that a new game based on the previous additions, I immediately started looking into it. Fallout 3 is not a game to be taken lightly. Especially in light of the current generations addiction to all things electronic, especially video games. A recent preview of this game the writer wrote the following:

So, in short, be afraid. Lock away your wallets and board up your front doors. Handcuff yourself to the furniture and demolish your hard drives and consoles – Fallout 3 is coming and as far as we’re concerned, it’s going to be as excellent as we could have ever hoped. When it launches then it will demolish your life, soak up your spare time and tear apart your relationships.

If that doesn't cause one to stop and think, I don't know what will. I know the intention of the author was to give his ringing endorsement, but as a Christian this helped me throw up a warning flag. ""Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive." (1 Cor 10:23, NIV) Anything can become an idol if we forgo the things of God to pursue such things. But it's not just the idol factor that I would want to warn my fellow Christians about. This game, and its predecessors, include some very "mature" content. The game is designed for the player to make their own decisions. Things like cursing out the town sheriff, helping someone blow up a town, or basically just shooting someone are all possible choices. but is that a reason to not play it? For some people the answer will be yes. I like the movie "Good Will Hunting", but it was a very "coarse". The language used is rough, the jokes can be vulgar, there is drinking and fighting, and most definitely some sex outside of marriage going on. But these were not the reasons I like that movie. The reason the language and the other things did not "put me off" is that they are a part of that culture. In those situations that is what you can expect to hear and see. Does that mean I think those things are OK? No, not by a long shot, but did Jesus shy away from these areas? The Gospels are full of examples of Jesus going out of His way to be in those situations. Not to engage in those things, but to bring the Light into the darkness. Even after spending about three years with the Master, Peter drew a sword and cut off a man's ear when they came to arrest Jesus in the garden. Several of Jesus' disciples were not refined men. Fishermen, tax collectors and the like. I guess what I am saying is that just because someone, or something, is not clean cut does not mean it must be avoided. What it does mean though, is that a Christian must never just delve into a situation without first considering the influences such an experience will have on them. Will they stand firm and help conform the world around them, or will they be conformed? As for me, I still plan on purchasing this game when it comes out around October. But I also need to make sure that I am not pursuing playing the game at the expense of the things of God and what He has given me (my relationship with Him, my health, my family, my job). This game looks like it is very well done, and if you are into playing such games I encourage you to check out the games website, read the reviews, and prayerfully consider if this is something that will be a hindrance to your walk with the Lord. Verse for today: 1 Timothy 2 : 1-6, ESV First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man [1] Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all, which is the testimony given at the proper time.