Too many mind... be of "no mind"

"Forget your sadness, anger, grudges, and hatred. Let them pass like smoke caught in the breeze. You should not deviate from the path of righteousness; you should lead a life worthy of a man. Don't be possessed by greed, luxury, or your ego. You should accept sorrows, sadness and hatred as they are, and consider them a chance for trial given to you by the powers... a blessing given by nature. Have both your mind and your time fully engaged in budō (1), and have your mind deeply set on bujutsu (2)." ~ Masaaki Hatsumi

(1) Budō: is a Japanese term describing Japanese martial arts. Literally translated it means the "Martial Way", and may be thought of as the "Way of War".
(2) Bujutsu: In modern usage, bujutsu, meaning martial/military art/science, is typified by its practical application of technique to real-world or battlefield situations.

This quote speaks volumes to me.  Both as a soldier, and as a Christian.  As a soldier, rarely is there time for the luxury of holding a grudge, of allowing anger or hatred to cloud your judgement.  While i have never experienced actual combat where the lead density was reaching unhealthy levels, i have had to train, and was graded under "high intensity" situations (never did master 'break from contact'

- also, i would never equate what i went through in training, with what those who have actually seen combat and have had to go through).  One has to be able to focus on the tasks at hand and what needs to be done.  It is not a time for self indulgence.

As for the Christian part, several verses come to mind.  "Forget your sadness, anger, grudges, and hatred. Let them pass like smoke caught in the breeze." God's Word tells us, "You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also." (Matthew 5:38-39, ESV)  Ultimately our security, our redeemer, our protector, is God Himself.

"You should not deviate from the path of righteousness; you should lead a life worthy of a man." Jesus says, "Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few." (Matthew 7:13-14, ESV)  In our case, we are followers of Christ.  We are NOT worthy to be called followers of God, but because of Christ's completed work on the cross, we are being transformed into the image of Christ.  Romans tells us, "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers." (Romans 8:28-29, ESV)

"Don't be possessed by greed, luxury, or your ego."  This one the Jesus spoke directly to the first two points, "And Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly, I say to you, only with difficulty will a rich person enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.”" (Matthew 19:23-24, ESV), as for the third, "Thus says the Lord: “Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord.” (Jeremiah 9:23-24, ESV)  The role of a Sergeant is "to serve", the role of the samurai is "to serve", we are to serve the Lord in each and every breath, for He is our Lord, our God.

"You should accept sorrows, sadness and hatred as they are, and consider them a chance for trial given to you by the powers... a blessing given by nature."  The sorrows... the sadness and hatred, these are a result of man's fall from grace in the garden; "And to Adam he said,“Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, ‘You shall not eat of it,’ cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life; thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”" (Genesis 3:17-19, ESV)  To me, this suffering is a blessing.  It shows me the need for me to turn back to my God, it shows the penalties of sin (in but a glimpse).  It is indeed a blessing and a mercy by God.  Like learning that when i touch a hot stove (despite a parental warning), and i get burned.  The wound will heal, but the memory will last.

"Have both your mind and your time fully engaged in budō, and have your mind deeply set on bujutsu." For us, the followers of Christ, our "way of the sword" does not lie in Kendo, or Aikido, or any of the other recognizable 'martial arts'.  Our Way lies in the path of Christ, the way of our Lord.  Our 'katana' is the very word of God.  Some of us are 'warriors' in the traditional sense, armed in the defense of others, but every follow of Christ should train themselves in the way of God and follow Him and His Word - His entire Word.  Each of us are called to serve where we are, and to where He takes us.  This is not a call to arms, a call to fight, this is a call to serve in whatever capacity He calls you to."Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.  Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Only let us hold true to what we have attained." (Philippians 3:8-16, ESV)

Guard your mind

I know it has been many a moon since my last post.  I blame myself.  Mostly for not being sure what to post, a phobia from actually hitting my 1Kth post, life getting too busy, whatever.  One thing i did learn early on in the Army was that, "the maximum effective range of an excuse is zero meters".  So, i shall not try and excuse my absence, rather, i will endeavor to find things to post about... and actually force myself to put some fingers to keyboard more frequently.

A couple of weeks back, by way of random exploration, i found a new book titled, "Warrior Wisdom:  Ageless Wisdom for the Modern Warrior".  While the author is apparently not a Christian (i do not know him personally, and i am not seeing anything come through in what i have read that would tell me otherwise), and i have thus far NOT found any biblical references or quotes via the Facebook page, there is some biblical wisdom to be found.  Remember, i am a Christian first and foremost - and thus i view and analyze via this 'filter' if you will.  That is not to say that i do not think, "outside of the box" from time to time, but when i come to share something here, it will always be from this view point - and as a "samurai" in service to my Lord Jesus Christ.

Anyway - before i would recommend such a book for general "consumption" here, i would want to read it through.  But, some tidbits, i would like to share here.  Two for today.  One is a picture the Facebook page shared, and the other is a symbol, which to many, is a symbol of Eastern Mysticism.

I was inspired to share this picture because it immediately reminded me of the Casting Crowns song, Slow Fade (click the link to see the video on YouTube), which Tulip shared with me... a year or so ago.

Now, this is a quote from Lao Tzu, but there is Biblical truth in it, even if the author had no idea of who God is, and that is one of the most amazing things about God to me.  Everything cries out His glory, even those who may, or may not, oppose Him.

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you." ~ Philippians 4:4-9, ESV (emphasis mine)

We as followers of Christ, whether we be 'artisans', merchants, or farmers, we are to bring every thought under control.

"We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,..." ~ 2 Corinthians 10:5, ESV (emphasis mine)

I say this because it is obvious that God sees the heart, and not just the outward actions.

"And he called the people to him again and said to them, “Hear me, all of you, and understand: There is nothing outside a person that by going into him can defile him, but the things that come out of a person are what defile him.” And when he had entered the house and left the people, his disciples asked him about the parable. And he said to them, “Then are you also without understanding? Do you not see that whatever goes into a person from outside cannot defile him, since it enters not his heart but his stomach, and is expelled?” (Thus he declared all foods clean.) And he said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”" ~ Mark 7:14-23, ESV (emphasis mine)

BUT, even in every effort we exert, we should endeavor to bring our thoughts into captivity. It is important however, to remember that without the work of the Holy Spirit, our efforts would be in vain.

"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast." ~ Ephesians 2:8-9, ESV

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The second item i would like to talk about what is commonly referred to as the YinYang symbol. 

Back before i had realized that God was revealing Himself to me, i had joined the Maryland Army National Guard, the historical 29th Infantry Division.  (I will not divert into the history of this unit, but i encourage anyone so inclined, to click on the link above.)  I will, however, discuss the unit's iconic symbol.  When the division was first organized, just prior the United States' full commitment into World War I, it was formed from the National Guard organizations of Maryland and Virginia.  The memories of the American Civil War were still firsthand of many at the time.  The Maryland and Virginia units symbolized the re-establishment of the Union from both sides of the conflict (despite Maryland being firmly South of the Mason-Dixon line, but i digress...), AND a representation of the only American Military Unit, the 1st Maryland. to have met it self on the field of battle, on opposing sides (again, a tale for another time), thus the colors of the Blue and the Grey (with the field of blue to always be closest to the bearer's heart). While the Yin Yang symbol originally represented the 'eternal struggle' between good and evil. the unit patch is a symbol of America's own struggles, but also, within the Christian, it is a symbol (to me) of the struggle we continue to wage between good and evil in our flesh, for we are not completely reborn until we are raised again with our new bodies and our eternal fellowship with Christ.  The complete symbol incorporates two smaller circles within.

These circles are always (or are supposed to be) of the opposite field of color.  This represents the "evil within the good, and the good within the evil".  Important note here - this dichotomy ONLY occurs within man, and NOT within God, for He is completely Holy and good.

The "evil within the good" represents (to me) the stain of the sin of man.  Within the complete holiness of God, once man has stepped within even the "smallest" of sins, he is forever tainted.

"Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? Cleanse out the old leaven that you may be a new lump, as you really are unleavened. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. Let us therefore celebrate the festival, not with the old leaven, the leaven of malice and evil, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth." ~ 1 Corinthians 5:6-8, ESV

The "good within the evil" represents (again, to me), that no matter my circumstances, no matter how bad things are, He is at work in me.  He is transforming me into the image of His Son, my Savior, Jesus Christ.

"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified." ~ Romans 8:26-30, ESV

For me, this symbol, is a symbol of hope, and not one of eastern mysticism. I think what i am trying to say is, God is everywhere, and at work in everything... even in the things we think of as evil.  And while evil does exist in the world, and for whatever reason, He is allowing it, it ALL to work together for the good.  If you ever doubt, or say, "How could God allow this?!?", i would highly encourage you to read The Book of Job, and take comfort in it.

"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." ~ 1 Corinthians 10:13, ESV

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How to walk, when blinded by self

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:1-2, ESV)

I start my blog this week knowing that, if anyone other than myself, actually reads this, is going to think, 'Hey!  Don't judge!', but i am going to go forward anyway, and hope that the reader will still be around by the end of this blog entry for today, and at least give me a change to fully explain my train of thought... well, maybe not fully... but at least attempt to better expound my point of view some. Recently i have become aware of two, somewhat close, people who are at least within 2 degrees of myself, who are, or where, actively engaged in sinful behavior.  One was a nineteen year old, who attended a Christian school for at least seven years.  The other is a person whom i have known for at as long as i have been married.  Both grew up with people who attended church, but in each case, they willfully engaged in sex outside of the covenant of marriage.  The point of this blog, is actually not to focus on these two people, not in a singling out sort of way.  It is, however, an attempt to illustrate a deep concern i have regarding the American church in general.

It is of my opinion that the American church has been 'suffering' a time of prosperity.  A time where we could get comfortable and complacent in our pursuit of God - which He has amply supplied us with grace to pursue.  We allow ourselves to become distracted by the world, to covet the things of the world.  To actively pursue the things of the world, and yet, at the same time, allow our passion for Christ to be sidelined and placed and secondary (or even tertiary) to our heart.

I PLACE MYSELF IN THIS CATEGORY AS WELL!!!

For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!  (Romans 7:14-25a, ESV)

We allow ourselves to become callous to the very things that put Christ on the cross in the first place!  And then, when we may perceive a possibly questionable act by others, we are told to "Judge not, lest you be judged!"  We become timid, and afraid to speak in love and truth into our friend's and/or neighbor's lives.  Is it even possible to discuss such things anymore?

“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.” He also told them a parable: “Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit? A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother's eye." (Luke 6:37-38, ESV)

I say it is.  But how?  For one thing, we can NEVER consider ourselves better than someone else.  For another, it is NOT our place to judge the person we seek to help.  Only God will be the judge.  We also have to allow for the Holy Spirit to move in grace and love.  It is entirely possible that what you are seeing as a sinful action, may not even be on the person's "radar".  Why?  because God is working on other things in that person's life at the time, or they have become spiritually blind to it.  Don't allow it to become a source of division, but, if the person receives the word, than try and help as best you can, if it is not time, or the person does not want to receive the word, then back off.  Ultimately it is NOT we who affect the change in other people.  All of us, myself included, are only changed when the self works in concert with the Holy Spirit.  Until we stand before the Throne of the Father of heaven and earth, and we hear "Well done", we are going to be dealing with the stain of sin in everything that we do on a daily basis.  Like a pinch of leaven permeates the entire batch of dough, so does sin infest our very flesh.  It will only be completely removed when the Fathers gives us our new clothes, and our new bodies, will it be dealt within in finality.

For some time, God has brought people in to my life.  People in deep pain.  People only just seeing the sin in themselves, and in others.  Each time i have prayed for the Holy Spirit to speak truth through me, and that it not be me or my opinions that is heard.  I have encouraged women to leave abusive relationships.  I have told men to swallow their pride and be the man of their house that they needed to be.  I have mostly listened.  Some crazy life situations, and those that are seeking do not want just pat answers and glib statements.  They want to know that you hear them, that you see, in some small degree, that you know or understand.  I am VERY aware of the Word of God where it talks about divorce being a sin except in the case of infidelity, but i also honestly believe that God would not just patently condemn someone for leaving a person who is abusive either physically or mentally.  Christ took the time to reach out and touch the leper, to talk to the woman who had five husbands - AND was living with a 6th man, who was she was not married to.  Christ knew this BEFORE he spoke to her.  The woman that was to be stoned by the crowd - he did not condemn.  Example, after example, of those who are struggling and hurting IN their sin, Christ spoke to them about the love of the Father.  He repeatedly would reach out to them, preach to them, heal them, never condemning them where they found themselves in sin, and always telling them to "go and sin no more" (which all of us who walk with Christ daily know, is neigh impossible, as i expounded upon above).

That is not to say that what they, or i, was doing, wasn't sinful and SHOULD be stopped.  We must each walk out our sanctification with the Lord on a daily basis, but always know, that when you are ready to turn to Him, he is ready to receive and forgive you.  Just like the thief upon the cross, right next to Jesus, began the day, taunting and hurling insults at Jesus, near the end asked that Jesus to remember him when Jesus entered in to His kingdom, and right then Jesus said to that man, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.” (Luke 23:43, ESV)  No one has the power to save, or condemn, but God.  It is only our duty as His followers, to convey the message as it has been revealed to us, and then allow it to be received, or rejected.  I say all of this and want to punctuate one thing - that does NOT mean everyone goes to heaven.  The Bible is clear, human-beings are sinners, in need of saving grave, and NOT everyone who thinks they are Christians will be saved.  The following, is in the very same chapter where it says "Judge not..."!

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness." (Matthew 7:21-23, ESV)

I started out this blog conveying a deep concern for the health of the American church, and i ended it with my thoughts regarding grace and salvation.  While they may not seem to correlate on the surface, i am trying to say they are one and the same.  Be faithful with the Word of God.  Be willing to speak out in truth and love, but also be aware that the Holy Spirit, and the person(s) you are speaking to, will not always receive what you have to say.  Only God can change a mind, change a community, change a region, a state, a nation.  Israel has walked with God some six thousand years, and even today the "Nation of Israel" does not have a place to call their home in peace.  Why?  Because their home is not of this world, and neither is the Christian's.  Like the Samaritan woman who "ate the scraps off the floor from the Master's table" (ref: Matthew 15:26-28), we can leave the progress of people, and of nations, to the Lord.  We just need to tend to the troubles of today.

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Wednesday Wickedness - 20110209

Hi and welcome to Wednesday Wickedness! We are like other memes in that we will ask you ten questions each and every Wednesday. But our little "twist" is that each week we will pick a famous person and pick ten of their quotes. Each of our questions will be based on the quotes. Got it? Great! Let's
begin this week's meme!


I know this is a week late, and is probably not as "current events", but... it is what it is.

Today we picked Charlie Sheen. Here's Wednesday Wickedness!

1. As kids we're not taught how to deal with success; we're taught how to deal with failure. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. If at first you succeed, then what?

What is something in which that you did not expect to succeed, but ultimately you were successful?

The National Guard.  When i first enlisted it was because all of the full time jobs had stopped interviewing me.  Understandable since i never kept a job longer than three months, and the companies were beginning to detect a pattern.  It was my intention to join for the least amount of time (which was 3 years active reserve, 5 inactive ready reserve) and then move on with my life.  Within those first three years i obtained my GED, was planning on attending community college, was on the books with the guard for some high speed training, and had been promoted to Sergeant.  Not unheard of, but nothing to sneeze at either.  In the end it turned into a twenty two year semi-career that saw me in the roll of First Sergeant for a time.

2. Dad kept us out of school, but school comes and goes. Family is forever.

What do you think about home schooling?

I think home schooling is an great option - but only for those where the parents are diligent and ensuring the students are learning and progressing, and where the students are willing and able to learn in such an environment.  It is NOT for everyone.  It also allows for the customization to help facilitate advanced learning in specific areas if such an aptitude exists. It also allows for an increased focus on deficient areas of skill.  While the Public School systems do strive very hard to allow for both of these, it is often very difficult for the teachers and aides within the system to be able to adjust for all students.  It is my understanding that in order to maintain the highest level of education a certain middle ground must be maintained in order to provide for the broadest range of students attending.  Now, having said all that - school teachers, of all grade levels, whether in the public or private sector, and this includes special needs teachers, and the aides of all teachers... they have my utmost respect.  Often a huge burden is placed upon their shoulders, often with insufficient funding, and they put everything they have into their jobs and their students.  Teachers, in my opinion, are often WAY underpaid for all that they do.  May God richly bless each and everyone of you.

3. I just didn't believe I was like everybody else. I thought I was unique.

What makes you unique?

My DNA, my fingerprints, and i am pretty sure my retinas too.  Oh, you meant what about my personality makes me unique?  I honestly have no idea.  AS far as i know, there is nothing new under the sun.

4. I just don't want to live like I used to. And at some point, I'm going to put a gag order on myself in terms of talking about the past. I've got to slam the door and deal with the present and the future.

When you meet someone, how much of your past do you reveal?

Well, unless it comes up in conversation, and is relevant, i am not seeing why any of it should be revealed.  To be honest i do not remember most of my childhood, nor do i care to.  Even now i do not dwell on even recent past events.  The past is the past and cannot be undone.  Learn what you can from it and move on.

5. I saw 28 Days. I don't remember rehab being like a day camp or being that funny. Rehab is a dumping ground. It's a big landfill.

Has rehab helped either you or a member of your family?

I attended AL-ANON a couple of times.  I don't remember if i got anything out of it (Thank you for trying H.P.).  I do have a member of my family who is attending Narcotics Anonymous.  He is extremely diligent in making sure he attends the meetings and talks with his... i can't remember the name, but like an accountability partner.  He also volunteers to help others and try and steer them to support groups and treatments.  In the end, he loves his wife and children very much, and works very hard for them.  So, yes.  rehab has helped me and a member of my family.

6. I still don't have all the answers. I'm more interested in what I can do next than what I did last.

Do you dwell on your past?

Please refer to question # 4.

7. I think what drove me insane for a long time is feeling like I hadn't earned most of what I achieved because it came so fast.

Have you ever profited from something that at the time you felt that you did not earn?

Aside from salvation in Christ?  DS1, aka LONG SHANKS, is a marvel to me.  Despite of all of my many faults and failures as a father (i once yelled at him to stop crying), he has been growing up a strong and self motivated young man.  He is consistently on the honor roll,he is regularly honored by his teachers, and he deeply wants to learn more about his Lord Jesus and be involved with things around the church.  I know i have not earned such a son, it is only by God's amazing grace and the Holy Spirit working in and through him.

8. I've got volumes on how not to behave. I've got more information now than a guy should have at my age.

Have you ever behaved in a way that you should not have?

All too often.  Just this morning actually (at the time of me writing this).  Despite my best efforts i screw up all the time.  A lot of people refer to the innate goodness of man.  I disagree with that generous statement of both myself, and my fellow mankind.  Yes, there are times when people reach down and help each other, but if you look at the heart of each man, woman, and child, you will see a selfishness that will override such charity should the person's idols be threatened. None of us behave the way we should all of the time. "For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23, ESV)  and "Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. (Psalm 127:1a, ESV)"

9. The paramedic called the press and sold me like a loaf of bread. This was news, and he wanted to be the one to report it.

Have you ever been in an ambulance? If not, have you ever been present when an ambulance was used?

Once that i remember.  Not sure why now that i think back on it.  I had broken my collarbone and my mom had called the paramedics (this was before 911).  I have been very fortunate in that my family has not needed emergency services very often - so far.  Another underpaid profession in my opinion.

10. Uncertainty is a sign of humility, and humility is just the ability or the willingness to learn.

Is there any uncertainty in your life at the present time? In the past?

Each day is a gift.  The only certain thing in life is uncertainty.  I am not a chaos theorist or anything, but when is anyone ever 100% certain about anything?  While i like order and symmetry and predictability... i have come to realize i will never be comfortable this side of heaven because "everything in the universe is on schedule, and everything in the universe is subject to change".

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I had a train of thought... but it looks more like the escape scene from "The Fugitive" now

This past Sunday in church my mind was running 90 miles per hour.  We are going through a revisit of our Mission Statement as well as messages on encouraging the congregation to "deeper and wider". 
For a long time i have struggled with 'man-centered' sermons.  Ones that talk about what we need to do, how we need to act to feel better, to improve our relationship with God, etc.  It is only natural i guess.  Especially in those whom the Holy Spirit has awakened the awareness of our own depravity apart from God.  We know there is problem and we know it has to be taken care of, and it is human nature to want to fix it.  To bring something to the table so to speak.  That spills over into sermons on Sunday morning and we spend so much time focusing on ourselves that we never look at who God is.  Sure we use the Bible to insert into appropriate parts of the sermon, but it is to examine ourselves, not to examine God.  One reason we are at the church we are at now is because i have spoken with the pastor, and i can see glimpses of him trying to turn the focus more on who God is.  Anyway... i digress... during the sermon my mind would grab on points and seemingly expound upon what was being preached upon. 

Anyway... this Sunday i took several notes, and i was all pumped up about blogging about this most excellent train of thought i was having... only to read my notes today... and they are not making sense... at least they are not clicking as to why i was so pumped up excited.  So... what i will do is just use my notes to expound upon my own thoughts... and just go from there.

I do remember thinking why are most sermons so watered down.  The messages talk about Jesus saving people, about how good He is.  Rarely have i heard about Him dying on the cross.  Even more rare is to hear the word sin, or that He saves sinners... let alone declaring that anyone listening is a sinner.  Some may think this harsh, but i would encourage you to pick six churches at random in your local neighborhood/city/town.  Most nowadays, do some form of recording, but if they don't and you have the time, sit through the usually no longer than 30 minute sermon.  If you hear the reference to people being sinners more than twice all together, i would be surprised.  Even still we hear generalities such as sin is bad, God is good, and God is love and He forgives.  None of that is untrue, but why can't we go deeper?  Why can't we touch on things like that we are still sinners, saved by grace.  That we do fail God, that He does work in our lives, that we do still require His discipline - which is uncomfortable.

I cannot remember the full context of the sermon (sorry Pastor) where our preacher was talking about being "called out" and "called to".  While i agree we have indeed been "called out" of something, and "called to" something... I do having the opinion that it was too superficial however.  What exactly have we been "called out" of?  A life of sin?  Surely, and yet we still struggle in the flesh.  Ultimately we have been called out of a life apart from God, out of a life where we only live for our self, we have been called out of a life of hating God.

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. (Romans 5:6-10, ESV emphasis mine)

I feel that deep appreciation, and the best thing we could ever do for both the seeker and the saint, is to not shy away from what our condition would be without Christ.  Even after our heart and mind have quickened to the heading of God, and accepted Jesus' work on the cross, it is only His sustaining grace that brings us through.  If it were not for Christ going to the cross, we would never have regained fellowship with God.  There for, not only have we been called out of our own depravity, our own self imposed isolation, we have been called to a relationship with God.  We have been called to living for God and not for ourselves.  We have been called to a state that we will never again be alone.

And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined [4] to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin [5] a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. (1 Corinthians 6:14-20, ESV)

While, now that we are one with God, we should not take ownership of our sin, because through the blood of Christ and his propitiation upon the cross it has been taken away, we should never forget our sorry state apart from Christ, lest we deceive ourselves and think we have arrived before we have been called home.  Apart from the grace of God, and His transforming work in our lives, we are retched little creatures.  This is why i keep a statue of the creature Gollum from the Lord of the Rings on my desk.  By the inspiration of Joshua Harris i quote the conversation between Gandalf and Frodo from the works of J.R.R. Tolkein:

"What do you mean?" said Frodo.  "Surely the Ring was his precious and the only thing he cared for?  But if he hated it, why didn't he get rid of it, or go away and leave it?"

"You ought to begin to understand, Frodo, after all you have heard," said Gandalf.  "He hated it and loved it, as he hated and loved himself.  He could not get rid of it.  He had no will left in the matter."  (from The Fellowship of the Ring)

Apart from the work of God we could never leave our sin behind.  We both love it, and hate it, but we can never just rid ourselves of it.  If we deny that we still struggle with sin and are still in need of Christ, we deceive ourselves. (1 John 1).  I do not think we can have a better example than Paul:

So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, [1] a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.(2 Corinthians 12:7-9, ESV)

So long as we dwell in this vessel, we will continue to wage war against desires of the flesh... our precious... our sin.  To do nothing... to fail to draw our attention to our truest need... is to leave one vulnerable to the guile of the enemy. Do we remain there?  No!  We should rejoice and celebrate all that God has brought us to!  We should sin praises, we should rejoice, but unless we reach down and realize just what we have been saved from - if we continue to gloss over the ugly parts - we will only ever superficially respond and our worship will be deficient for it.

Until we sing...

‘Twas I that shed the sacred blood;
    I nailed him to the tree;
I crucified the Christ of God;
    I joined the mockery.

Of all that shouting multitude
   I feel that I am one;
And in that din of voices rude
   I recognize my own.

Around the cross the throng I see,
   Mocking the Sufferer’s groan;
Yet still my voice is seems to be,
   As if I mocked alone.
(A Hymn by Horatius Bonar)

We can never fully appreciate...

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.

For those who have endured this train wreck to the end... thank you for your patience.  I take no credit in anything other than the sharing of thoughts.  I pray that this has blessed you, and may you richly and deeply feel the passion of your Savior.

---

Random Monday Ramblings

As i start this i realize that i do not have a song picked out for my traditional Musical Monday fare... blame it on getting up early to go the gym... blame it on me not taking my Strattera this morning... but in the end the maximum effective range of an excuse is zero (0) meters. I was just not prepared for my traditional Monday offering. As i type this i am praying that God will open up the Heavens and shine a light down on me... and thus reveal THE song to use for today. Until then... enjoy some random Monday ramblings... Ok, i know i've mentioned this before... but unless the Panthers can get their starting 22 positions healthy in time for the regular season... it may be a looooonnngggg season for this Panthers fan. I am not talking 1-15 long, but perhaps 6-10 long... I have a ton of faith in Coach Fox, and i have seen him pull out victory from the jaws of defeat. I would not put it past him to have not really put his team into all that high of a game frenzy, but when the 1:00 PM comes on 13-September, i am going to be wearing my Panther Blue heart on my sleeve! Coach - i know i've said all i want for Christmas is a 9-7 season - but you do what you got to do to get this team into the playoffs! One thing i would like to point out... for at least the past 2 weeks Coach Fox has been working without of all of his starting running backs and wide receivers. It's hard to see if the offense is clicking when those key positions are out, and the offensive line has not taken all that many snaps together. My one real concern is at the Run defense side of things. Until Carolina picks up a DT to replace Kemoeatu they are going to be hard pressed to stop the run... and when teams can run on you it wears you down. Yesterday i went down to visit my co-worker, who is also a living example of what it means to be a husband who serves and takes care of his wife. A few years back his wife had a serious car accident that broke her neck and she became a quadriplegic. Since then this man has taken a very first hand track to her care. When i was interviewed for his clearance i was asked if the man had any hobbies and my answer to them sums it up. His wife IS his hobby. He has wired his house with an automatic generator so that if there is a commercial power outage he can run all of her medical equipment plus he can still heat the house and he still has a mostly functional kitchen. He went out and purchased an RV and then had it renovated so that they can still take vacations to visit their son and grand children. He not only has taken a first hand role in learning how to care for his wife, he has paid for a lot of the equipment and part time care givers out of his own pocket because his medical insurance, either does not - or will not, pay for it. This man is a modern day hero to me. I went to visit them because she is in the hospital. She has developed a very large kidney stone and it has become septic. It grew so large because she doesn't feel any pain and by the time there were any external signs it was so. I would ask for prayers from those who read this... she is in the critical cardiac unit of his local hospital. She has been fighting hard, and there are positive signs, but she is far from out of the woods yet. They still need to go and get the stone out... This man has been a source of encouragement in my walk with Christ... and he continues to fight alongside her bed. I miss our talks at work (even the times when it would appear i am not really listening), and i am praying for them to come again. Have you ever ordered tea at a restaurant and gotten that weird after taste? I LOVE iced tea and can pretty much drink it by the bucket load... but when you get a mouthful of tea that has been sitting at room temperature over night... wow. A coworker and i take turns making a 3qt pitcher of the stuff to share day in and day out... but i don't know what it is... the tea first thing Monday is nasty ~ if it's been left over from the previous Friday that is! Here at work i can understand how the tea got that way. There is no one to drink it over the weekend, but in a restaurant there is no excuse! Simply empty the container out at night, wash it out, and make a fresh batch first thing in the morning. Simple. On Saturday i took DS1 out to the Antietam National Battlefield to watch an artillery demonstration. Very nice! There is a group of volunteers who have been meeting once per month to practice and this was the first month the battlefield set up the demonstration. There are hopes to expand it to having two demonstration crews... one Union and one Confederate. There is a real part of me that wants to step up and volunteer out there for this, but for now i am enjoying my weekends just as they are. Maybe someday in the future. For me the highlight was learning about John Cook. He was a Bugler for Battery B, 2nd U.S. Artillery. During the battle Battery B suffered more than 40% casualties, and at one point this young man of 15 stepped up and manned the guns and performed valiantly - for which he was given the Congressional Medal of Honor. I am not good at telling stories, nor do i remember all that they shared with us, but this young man definitely earned it that day. Ok... i need to wrap this up, but i wanted to share that i am going to be a tennis widower once again. For the next two weeks the U.S. Open will be going on and my beloved LOVES tennis. Which i whole heatedly encourage her to pursue. I enjoy tennis too. But my 'passion' is the NFL... and the Carolina Panthers in particular (in case you had not gleaned that from my blog yet). I have an outstanding request for all birthday, anniversary, and Christmas presents... anything Panthers. LOL This morning i had an ad in my e-mail in-box advertising personalized Panthers Jerseys - even pink ones this year (pictured right). My beloved would never wear such a thing because my passion is not her passion. I have a friend who's wife is as big a football fan (she the Washington Redskins, he the Pittsburgh Steelers) so i have to confess there are times i am jealous that they share such interests. Even though my beloved does not share my passion for football, we do share one passion though ~ food. She loves to make it... and i love to eat it! In closing... God has been working on my heart and ears of late. Trying to relearn how to listen and hear His promptings... to discern His voice over the din of the world... and that one cannot pilot a ship through the ocean alone.

Therefore, brothers, [3] since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a fearful expectation of judgment, and a fury of fire that will consume the adversaries. Anyone who has set aside the law of Moses dies without mercy on the evidence of two or three witnesses. How much worse punishment, do you think, will be deserved by the one who has spurned the Son of God, and has profaned the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has outraged the Spirit of grace? For we know him who said, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.” And again, “The Lord will judge his people.” It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. But recall the former days when, after you were enlightened, you endured a hard struggle with sufferings, sometimes being publicly exposed to reproach and affliction, and sometimes being partners with those so treated. For you had compassion on those in prison, and you joyfully accepted the plundering of your property, since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one. Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. For, “Yet a little while, and the coming one will come and will not delay; but my righteous one shall live by faith, and if he shrinks back, my soul has no pleasure in him.” But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls. (Hebrews 10:19-39, ESV)

Floundering Friday

This weekend was supposed to be one of recuperation from my beloved's surgery, but life never sleeps. A while back i mentioned that an "Aunt" had passed away and tomorrow is the memorial service. It is almost a four hour tour of the Shenandoah Valley - my most favorite place in the world. I am planning on a "day" trip - i.e. i get up, make the trip down, attend the memorial service, visit with family for a spell, and then hop in the car for the return trip. It will make for a long day, but one well worth it. I may not be 'tight' with most of my family (a failing on my part), but this woman made a real difference in my life. That summer with my cousins was a turning point in my life if you ask me. I still cherish the memories. So, even though i really need a long weekend with just my own brood, i need to make this trip. If for nothing else than to celebrate my "Aunt's" life and reconnect with family. Especially the cousins that made such a difference in my life. Tomorrow the Panthers will be heading to Miami for game 2 of the preseason. I never read anything into these practice games. But i do like to watch them when i get a chance. It gives me a sense of seeing how the players react, etc. Still, no one is moving really at game speed except the 2nd string and below. It's almost like the later in the game the more true effort you see. With the trip tomorrow i've tried to look up some of the radio stations between point A and B to see if i might be able to catch much of the game broadcast... do they even broadcast pre-season games? I know during the season i can get an AM skip station that i leave preset on my car radio. Sad, i know. My beloved has been downcast since her parents left. It's not because they left but because of how things ended, and i know i did not really help things all that much. It does not matter how right i thought my contributions might have been ~ timing is everything. We have a saying in the Artillery... once you pull the lanyard you can't bring the round back. It means you need to do all of your 'pre-fire' checks BEFORE you pull the lanyard... and i did not really do so well in regards to relating with my wife in regards to the situation with her parents. All i can do now is try and stay near... For me spiritually, i am going to be diving back into Romans. I feel like i can SO relate to Romans 7:

I was once alive apart from the law, but when the commandment came, sin came alive and I died. The very commandment that promised life proved to be death to me. For sin, seizing an opportunity through the commandment, deceived me and through it killed me. So the law is holy, and the commandment is holy and righteous and good. Did that which is good, then, bring death to me? By no means! It was sin, producing death in me through what is good, in order that sin might be shown to be sin, and through the commandment might become sinful beyond measure. For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.

I have been getting down on myself for not being more disciplined. Like i should be able to just say what i am going to do and do it! It's not like i am have to assemble a team, devise a plan, and then assault a building. *sigh* and yet it's not even that simple. "No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy."