Music Monday - 20081027

What a weekend! I am very grateful to get back to work so i can recuperate. :) I got nothing done to move the deck project forward, but i was able to do so many other things with the family that it's all good. :) A quick safety tip: DON'T SHAKE WARM SODA CANS! By God's grace neither i, nor DS2, were injured while working on his science fair experiment. Part of it was seeing how much pressure a can of soda has when it is shaken at various temperatures. Long story short, the Coke can blew its top. I had soda in my hair, my eyes, my clothes. It was everywhere. We aborted the rest of that series of tests for safety reasons. I was lucky... i only received a slight cut to my hand. But my son LOVED it! LOL - boys Last week i mentioned in passing my concern over the possibility of my deceiving myself in regards to my relationship with Christ. I don't know about any readers out there, but i am concerned about my lack of 100% certainty in this regard. I've grown up seeing how "certain" people have been in various things. Certain that such-and-such was going to happen. Certain that they were going to do something. Then, in the end, the thing they were so certain was going to be... wasn't. I include myself in being certain of things. I mean, if one Jesus' disciples could do things like sell Him out after being with Him and see Him heal the sick, walk on water, feed the multiples, speak with such authority about the things of God... how can i be so sure that i would not do the very same thing? I feel love for my God Jesus Christ... and yet i feel my failures too... and there are times... sometimes whole "seasons"... were i feel i fail Him more than i please Him. Over the weekend the song i've picked for this week gave me some comfort...

My Savior My God from the album Anything Worth Saying I am not skilled to understand What God has willed, what God has planned I only know at his right hand Stands one who is my savior I take him at his word and deed Christ died to save me this I read And in my heart I find a need For him to be my savior That he would leave his place on high And come for sinful man to die You count it strange, so once did I Before I knew my savior My savior loves, my savior lives My savior's always there for me My God he was, my God he is My God he's always gonna be Yes, living, dying; let me bring My strength, my solace from this spring That he who lives to be my king Once died to be my savior That he would leave his place on high And come for sinful man to die You count it strange, so once did I Before I knew my savior My savior loves, my savior lives My savior's always there for me My God he was, My God he is My God he's always gonna be song journal - from the website

I was reading my "One Year Book of Hymns" and stumbled across a hymn entitled "I Am Not Skilled To Understand" whose words blew me away. I didn't bother searching for the melody: its obscurity indicated antiquity. So I started from scratch and sang it without the chorus for over a year at our church, which seemed to embrace it as it was. But I wanted to take it over he top. Sitting at a red light one night, a melody of excitement and a lyric that seemed to pull together the concept of Christ, my Advocate, always pleading my case, was born. And the song finally exploded on the chorus like I always knew it should. i do not understand everything, but I know that Jesus Christ loves me and is alive defending me. That calls for a big chorus.

-more thoughts in cd jacket

-=-=-=0=-=-=-

While running from one thing to another yesterday i was able to follow along with the Panthers game. For the first 3 quarters i was not a happy camper. The Cardinals were walking all over the Panthers. Then something happened... i was smiles. I was even able to watch the final three plays (William 16 yard run to secure a first down, and the two kneel downs by Jake). I know it was not much, but i really enjoyed watching that run. I looked over the Buccaneers and the Panthers schedule for the rest of the year. I am not going to judge who has the tougher schedule - but i am grateful for the one game lead the Panthers currently enjoy. The NFC South might come down to the final two weeks or so of the season! It makes the Monday night game the Bucs come to Charlotte all the more exciting for me! I have decided to not get my hopes up for the Super Bowl... i just want one thing for Christmas... and that is an NFC South championship for the Panthers! Verse for today: Isaiah 55 : 6-9, ESV “Seek the Lord while he may be found; call upon him while he is near; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Music Monday - 20080804

I have wanted to put my selection for today's Music Monday for some time. Sometimes I would just plain forget, other times another song took its place in the 'I-just-have-to-put-it-in-today' category. LOL

Take Me In Words and music by Dave Browning from Petra Praise: The Rock Cries Out - 1989 Take me past the outer courts Into the Holy place Past the brazen altar Lord I want to see Your face Pass me by the crowds of people The priests who sing Your praise I hunger and thirst for Your righteousness And it's only found one place Take me in to the Holy of Holies Take me in by the blood of the Lamb Take me in to the Holy of Holies Take the coal, cleanse my lips, here I am Take the coal, cleanse my lips, here I am

I remember my first impression when I heard this song. It was a sensation of craving, but not one that would go against the ten commandments. Have you ever craved God? To experience His presence? To be near Him? To hear Him? To just be still and sit at his feet? That is what this song prompts in my heart and mind when I hear it. The imagery that comes to mind (at least to me) is of being led by Jesus into the temple. There are throngs of people milling about. And when I stop to join them Jesus touches my arm, shakes His head, and leads me further in. We then come to the alter of God and I am struck by God's righteousness and my inadequacies. I move to withdraw, but He touches my arm once more. When I turn back to Him with tears in my eyes he lovingly shows me the scars upon his hands, feet, and side. With love in His eyes he brushes away a tear from my face, and leads me further in. We then come to the Holy of Holies. I can no longer stand and fall to my knees in worship. This song stirs my soul. It springs forth a desire to worship. What an awesome song. Verse for today: Isaiah 6 : 1-7, ESV In the year that King Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; and the train [1] of his robe filled the temple Above him stood the seraphim. Each had six wings: with two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew And one called to another and said:

“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!” [2]

And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke. And I said: “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!”

Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth and said: “Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for.”

I spaced out yesterday

Totally ;)

Anyway... between trying to adjust to playing a single parent this week, getting back into the routine at work, and trying to crunch out a short story for an upcoming rules article for Necromunda, I completely missed the opportunity to blog yesterday. But that's ok because I have kind of been in a funk lately.

I kind of go through cycles, almost monthly (no smart alack remarks ;-) ). I don't do well with change, and life is full of things that change. My beloved is out of town for a few days at a conference that is addressing special needs within children's ministry this week. I submitted my letter to finally make my retirement from the National Guard official. And the ever changing nature of IT in the work environment. None of these things really help me feel 'safe' or 'peaceful'. Don't get me wrong, I firmly believe in the providential hand of God. I know that He is in perfect control of all. It's just that my mind (aka my flesh) does not respond well to change. Like I have to process it all before I can get back to 'level'. I don't even necessarily need to understand it all. I just have to be able to somehow process it.

Funny story - back when I was commuting almost 90 minutes each way to work I would call my beloved just before I would walk out the door to head home (before we had cell phones) and go over what we were doing that night. By the time I would get home my beloved would make changes and it would throw me through a loop. Unfortunately this has led her to believe that I can't handle change at all (and maybe she's right). I know she's nervous that the kids are going to end up in school without their shoes on, or I will leave the house wide open so strangers can "help themselves". And none of this helps my own "self esteem".

I enjoy writing, and I enjoy my job, but I still feel like a failure at both. At work I struggle to keep up with the constant changes, and not just to the technology. When I went to college I took the placement exams and scored high enough to be invited to join the 'honors society', but I still placed low enough that I had to take English 010 (no, that is not a mis-type). Not only did I have to take the pre-college English course, but I had to take it four times before I passed it! (I currently do not have a degree of any kind.)

So, during these "low cycles" it is hard to keep up. All I can see is all of the tasks around the house not getting done, all of the opportunities missed with the kids, the mistakes I make with my beloved. I ache for heaven, especially during these times. I know that I do a lot of things well. I am able to support my family on my single income (a miracle in today's economic situation), I have been picked above my peers to fill in for the First Sergeant at my unit while he has been away (this has been a reoccurring thing through out my military career), I have been blessed with a mind that can grasp things like IP routing and filtering, I have been blessed with children whom I am often given compliments for, and I have a woman in my life who really does look past my faults and loves me deeply.

But it is hard to look to the horizon, when all you can see are hillsides. I guess that is why I take such deep pleasure in Psalm 23, and the book of Job. My Savior is not hemmed in by my doubts or failures. His staff does comfort me. He does light my paths. He does lead me by still waters and anoints my head with oil. The same God who tells the ocean that it may go only so far, and places the stars at just the right place, is the one who reaches down and speaks to my mind and my heart. He holds me and gives me comfort. Even when I am trying to process change.
Verse for today:
Isaiah 12, ESV
You [1] will say in that day:
“I will give thanks to you, O Lord,
for though you were angry with me,
your anger turned away,
that you might comfort me.

“Behold, God is my salvation;
I will trust, and will not be afraid;
for the Lord God [2] is my strength and my song,
and he has become my salvation.”

With joy you [3] will draw water from the wells of salvation. And you will say in that day:

“Give thanks to the Lord,
call upon his name,
make known his deeds among the peoples,
proclaim that his name is exalted.

“Sing praises to the Lord, for he has done gloriously;
let this be made known [4] in all the earth.
Shout, and sing for joy, O inhabitant of Zion,
for great in your [5] midst is the Holy One of Israel.”

Musical Monday

Have you ever heard a worship song that just struck home? A song that hits that cord and you cannot help but feel it touch something deep within your heart, within your soul? The song I would like to share for today is one such song in my life. I remember being drawn to my knees, I remember God giving me a mercifully brief glimpse into my own heart and past, and then at the same time pulling me into a place where I have seen how merciful and gracious He has been to me. I remember tears welling up in my eyes as I would listen and sing.

Haven't You Been Good
By Steve Earl

These lyrics accompany the song Haven't You Been Good from the I Stand In Awe album.

Thank You for the cross
Thank You, Lord, for drawing me
Out of millions lost
Thank You, Lord, for saving me
Haven’t You been good?
Haven’t You been so good?

Glory to Your name
Glory to Your holy name
Thankfulness and praise
For grace and mercy never changing
Haven’t You been good
Haven’t You been so good to me?

Favor on my life
Always watching over me
My darkness turned to light
And heaven’s arms enfolding me
Haven't You been good?
Haven't You been so good?

© 1998 Sovereign Grace Worship (ASCAP).

This morning, as I was getting ready to type this blog up it occurred to me. What about the copyright and intellectually property rights to these songs I post and write about most Mondays? I am researching the details so... some changes might be made here in the next day or two, or coming weeks. I won't stop posting about the songs God has used in my life, but the format may change. :-)
Verse for today:
Isaiah 1 : 18, ESV
“Come now, let us reason [3] together, says the Lord:
though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red like crimson,
they shall become like wool.

Still cutting through the fog

I was able to get out of work around noon yesterday and I headed straight for bed. Depsite my love's best efforts I was still woken up three times between 1:00 and 4:00. Once DD3 came in and said, "Daddy, I really want you to wake up now." Aw... but I was sooo tired. I told her that I loved her, but I really needed to get a little more sleep. She's had friends over pretty much constantly the past three days. We have some friends who are getting ready to move back to the west coast, so while they show their house they spend a lot of time over at ours. Sort of a bitter-sweet situation. Anyway, when I did get up I worked on making dinner for the kids as my beloved and I were heading out to see "The Bourne Ultimatum". Well, this update has taken me over 30 minutes to enter... and my mind is still tired. LOL I'll 'see' you all on Monday. God bless. Verse for today: Isaiah 64:3-4, ESV When you did awesome things that we did not look for, you came down, the mountains quaked at your presence. From of old no one has heard or perceived by the ear, no eye has seen a God besides you, who acts for those who wait for him.

Filling in...

... my mind is running in a lot of directions today... I will have to post tomorrow... An article I came across really intrested me. Especially since I am hearing something I've thought from some one else... Here is the link to the article: "Learn from the Fall of Rome" by Jeremy Grant for the Financial Times. Verse for today: Isaiah 6:8-13, ESV And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.” 9 And he said, “Go, and say to this people: “‘Keep on hearing, [3] but do not understand; keep on seeing, [4] but do not perceive.’ Make the heart of this people dull, [5] and their ears heavy, and blind their eyes; lest they see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and understand with their hearts, and turn and be healed.” Then I said, “How long, O Lord?” And he said: “Until cities lie waste without inhabitant, and houses without people, and the land is a desolate waste, and the Lord removes people far away, and the forsaken places are many in the midst of the land. And though a tenth remain in it, it will be burned [6] again, like a terebinth or an oak, whose stump remains when it is felled.” The holy seed [7] is its stump.

Back from Vacation

Whew, am I glad to be back from vacation! I might be able to recooperate some now that I am back to work! :~)



All week DS2 kept asking us, "why did you have to pick this week to go on vacation!" It was incredibly HOT all week! Now, I've had to deal with prolonged exposure to such heat before, but my family has not - and that was an experience. The heat index did not get peak below 105 farenheit the entire time we were in Williamsburg, VA.



Before I give too much of an incorrect picture I need to say that my family is not a 'roughing it' kind of family. Our idea of 'roughing it' means that we have to do without a small fridge and/or microwave oven in our hotel room! ;~) *** hahaha *** We had a full week none-the-less.



On Monday we hit Busch Gardens (after looking at the Weather Channel when we got there we quickly decided that this would be the coolest day of the week). It had been almost 15 years since my beloved and I had visited there, and we had a blast. The park is actually smaller than I remember it though. I think the sensation is by design though. It allows the visitor the impression of not being over crowded, and if an area is getting congested it probably encourages people to move to another 'country' (or region). One thing in particular... DS1 was a little disappointed. Although Busch has some really good rollercoasters (and he rode everyone of them), there are not as many as he's used to from Hershey Park. His favorite was The Griffon, while mine was Apollo's Chariot! (Yes, he 'dragged' me on each and every one!). The one thing we did do to help dodge the heat some was we hit two shows. The first one was at the Fest House, and the other was of the Emerald Beat in 'Ireland'.



On Tuesday we hit Water Country USA. It is reported to be the largest Water Park in the mid-atlantic, and it is huge. The Wave Pool, and the 'Hubba Hubba Highway' were the biggest hits. Especially for my beloved and me. I liked that they provided courtesty life jackets. Especially on the 'highway'. Just because it moves you along, and there is not much swimming required to do so, does not mean that you do not have to exercise to keep yourself afloat! :) And the wave pool, well you can just use your imagination. ;~) I was ready to head home by 6PM, but the family would have nothing to do with that! LOL We stayed right up until the park closed. (OH, and I had wanted to buy a hat the entire day, but my beloved asked me to wait until the end of the day... I never did get it... but it is on my 'wish list for birthday, anniversary, or Christmas... here is a quick image of what I like...









(not really sure why I posted that... lol)

Wednesday we just took a break. We stayed in our hotel and just watched movies, ate popcorn, made spagetti, that sort of thing.

Thursday we ventured down into the 'Colonial Williamsburg' area. We wanted to see some of the attractions, and learn a little more about it, but it was incredibly HOT! After only two hours, and that included a nice 30 minute tour of the Governor's Palace we were baked! We did get some nice pictures of the Court House, and some re-enactors (I'm sorry, but I've not downloaded the camera yet :~( ). We went out to lunch and then back to the pool instead.

On Friday we went back to hit specific locations, like the Blacksmith and the museum. We were surprised by how well the kids did in the museum. There was not much to do, or things to intrest them there, but they hung in there. Afterwards we headed up to Yorktown to see the decisive battle of the Revolutionary War. The National Park Service really has a nice vistor's center. I tried to do the Battlefield tour, but the kids quickly lost intrest. We ended up on one of the few tiny beach areas that 'downtown Yorktown' has.

We originally planned to come straight home Saturday, but I had wanted to go visit Jamestown the whole week and we had not made it there yet. This time the family were great sports. They let me walk over the entire 'Towne'. I was able to look at each of the areas, and read most of the information. It is incredible to read about the original 104 Men and boys who ventured from England to establish the first 'permenant' colony.

I used to think that was where the first of my Paternal relatives come into what is now the United States, but I have since learned differently. Still... I am (I believe) the 12th generation of my family since the first arrived circa 1685 - and most likely he had a stop for at least a short time in 'James Towne'.

Wow - that was a little long winded! I originally wanted to post a lot of pictures like 'Susan' does, but I am just not as diligent in getting them downloaded as she.

I did want to share one thing that I believe God is doing in my life. Lately it seems like He is encouraging me to be less transparent about my faith. Not going out and becoming a 'street preacher' (I think) or anything, but just to be more bold in sharing who I am and what I know. Another is to get back to meditating on how Holy God is. It seems that my verse for this past week has been, "Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!" (Isaiah 6:5, ESV). My heart is not quite ready, but it seems as if He is moving me in a direction.



Verse for today:
Isaiah 6:4-7, ESV
And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke. And I said: “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!”

Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth and said: “Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for.”