A single spark

Ever notice how, in the right conditions, a single spark can light a really serious fire? That works fine, in August, when there's been no rain for six weeks, with plenty of 'fuel' to spread to. But what happens to that same spark in the middle of a parking lot? It quickly dies out. I've also noticed that when I am trying to start a nice fire in my fire place it takes a little more preperation. I need to 'prime' the chimney (warm it up), then I need to make sure I use more easily igniteable kindling/paper, and allow it to get the logs ready. The logs take longer to catch when I've just brought them in from outside where it's cold. But once the fire's been going it is fairly easy to get new logs to catch because the embers are warm and sustainable. In many ways I feel like a single match. My 'fire' does not seem to be contagious. More than anything it seems that I am just not ready to be caught up in such things. Only God knows the future but I am eager to move myself closer to such a fire that my own desires for God would be sustainable - even to become warmer. Then, and only when I am ready from God's perspective, to be used to start other 'fires'. updates: New stories posted. Verse for today: Matthew 5:13-16, ESV “You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet. “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

Prayer requested

I have been meeting with my pastor in regards to getting some more formal discipleship. I've been working on this for sometime, but last night it was sort of interesting. For some time (like since I was saved) I've been feeling a desire to be a form a teaching pastor (until last night I've never really had a term for it). My Pastor basically encouraged me to "explore this calling". He's not talking about me quiting my day job or anything. More like stepping up to teach a short seminar session at our church (in the coming months we are going to be doing quarterly seminar like things for those wanting to delve more into certain things). He asked me to pray and see if there is a topic that the Lord might lead me to speak on, and he will help me "get my thoughts together". Although I am nervous about this to some degree, I am more concerned with how my beloved will take this. Since we have been married any time this subject has come up she basically responds "I am not going to be a pastor's wife!" I know that no matter what the Lord leads me in I will need her by my side - and not kicking and fighting, but supportive and encouraging. I also know that I know enough to get in to trouble. Standing up to teach is one thing but to stand in front of God's people to lead and to teach is something more entirely. A teaching error in a 'secular' class (for lack of a better word) is a finite mistake - to make and error in the ways of God can have eternal consequences. I need to rely totally on the Holy Spirit and not my own ways... and trust that as long as I am doing what God is leading... then I can trust in His grace to cover over the rough spots. I don't know where this will all lead, but I am grateful for this opportunity to learn and to share. Please pray as you feel led - and may His glory be proclaimed and revealed. Verse for today: John 3:27-30, ESV John answered, “A person cannot receive even one thing unless it is given him from heaven. You yourselves bear me witness, that I said, ‘I am not the Christ, but I have been sent before him.’ The one who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom's voice. Therefore this joy of mine is now complete. He must increase, but I must decrease.” [10]

Do everything as if unto the Lord

I enjoy writting. I like to get things done around the house. I like to things with, and for, my friends. But I often find myself checking up to see what kind of response I get. Maybe not so much with my friends. But I want to know if what I did blessed them. If they appreciated the time or effort. I am not sure if my motives are for them to think more highly of me, or if I want to know what I really did was effective. Did it increase their joy in some way. I'd like to think that it is more of the latter. There is nothing like a sense of accomplishment. To see a project get done. Maybe even just maintenance. Sort of a sense of fulfillment that I am taking care of the things that the Lord has given me. If it was just me at home I'd probably be doing something from the time aI got up until the time I went to bed. Probably a lot of circles being run. But there are times when I do have a few hours all to myself at home amd I hitting the 'to do list' (honey-do or my-do)? No! I will usually take every advantage to just do nothing. Veg, watch TV or even just sleep. But then I am left with a feeling of disapppointment. Like I know I needed to do something else - and I waisted the chance. With my short stories (you can read them here: samurai's yarns, if you are interested) I post them on several websites. One is sponsored by the parent company that produces Necromunda, another is a fan-based site of Games Workshop games. I will often revisit those sites frequently (much more often than I should) after I've posted a story. I want to know how it was received. Was it a good story? Are people really liking the work or am I just a person cranking out words on a page? I've never had aspirations for publication. I like to write the stories. For myself mostly, and I doubt that many would pay for what I write. Just rambling here... but I should do all that I do as if unto the Lord. Verse for the day: Ecclesiastes 2:24-26, ESV There is nothing better for a person than that he should eat and drink and find enjoyment [2] in his toil. This also, I saw, is from the hand of God, for apart from him [3] who can eat or who can have enjoyment? For to the one who pleases him God has given wisdom and knowledge and joy, but to the sinner he has given the business of gathering and collecting, only to give to one who pleases God. This also is vanity and a striving after wind.

Scented Candles

Does anyone else like these things? I have two on my desk here at work. One is "pumpkin spice" and the other is "sun ripened raspberry". These along with my little water fountain really give a nice atmosphere while I'm working. :) At home I have a few others here and there. My all time favorite is the one that smell like the Christmas stores. Do you know what I'm talking about? Verse for today: Proverbs 26:1-9, ESV Like snow in summer or rain in harvest, so honor is not fitting for a fool. Like a sparrow in its flitting, like a swallow in its flying, a curse that is causeless does not alight. A whip for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, and a rod for the back of fools. Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself. Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes. Whoever sends a message by the hand of a fool cuts off his own feet and drinks violence. Like a lame man's legs, which hang useless, is a proverb in the mouth of fools. Like one who binds the stone in the sling is one who gives honor to a fool. Like a thorn that goes up into the hand of a drunkard is a proverb in the mouth of fools.

The longest journey...

... begins with one step. I have a weakness. Whenever I tell someone that I am doing such-and-such - whatever it is seems to fade. I don't know how many times I've started a runing thing, or training for my Cisco certifications, or a writting project, whatever - only to have my efforts wane once I've made the announcement. What is that? Does that not undermine my own integrity? What about my own ambitions? Pride is a deceptive and sneeky git. What was my motivation for even mentioning it in the first place? Apparently it's to toot my own horn and build up other people's impression of myself. *sigh* Verse for today: Proverbs 25:2-7, ESV It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out. As the heavens for height, and the earth for depth, so the heart of kings is unsearchable. Take away the dross from the silver, and the smith has material for a vessel; take away the wicked from the presence of the king, and his throne will be established in righteousness. Do not put yourself forward in the king's presence or stand in the place of the great, for it is better to be told, “Come up here,” than to be put lower in the presence of a noble.

Our brother's keeper

Of late I have been thinking about this. I have always known that in order to grow in Christ that I need to be discipled. That I needed to seek out others within the body of Christ. To learn with, to talk about the things of God with, to come alongside and encourage and be encouraged, to - on occasion - talk to them about something I am concerned about (i.e. a sin I think they may be doing) and for them to do the same to me. But this is much easier said than done. I know I have had problems getting consistant fellowship with other men. I am by no means blaming all the other men that God has brought into my life. I know I am as much to blame (if not more) for our lack of fellowship. It is also hard to get others to hold me accountable. There is also a sense of my own responsibility in this as well. Secrets are sometimes easily kept and unless I am maintaining fellowship and being open with others it would be hard for them to know anything different. Some very big men in the faith have tumbled because of these kinds of things. Another is people (in general) do not want to be held accountable. "Judge not and you will not be judged" is a verse I often hear quoted. There are entire ministries based on these precepts. I guess I want more than just mediocrity. I know that I will not reach my full potential unless I have other men (and at least one woman) in my life to help me see my blind spots (both natural and constructed). And I want to be used of God to help others. And it is a Biblical concept (read 1 Corinthians 5:12)... but just as all things of God it can be abused. Entire periods of history are overshadowed by extremism - the crusades, the inquisition... but the same verse that shows me to be my brothers keeper also shows me that I am not to do the same with those outside of the body. May God bring each of us to a level of humility that we are able to give and receive correction without pride getting in our way. The ultimate goal is not to elivate ourselves over our brothers and sisters, but to help one another grown and conform into the image of our Lord and Savior. There can be no higher aspiration... Verse for today: 1 Corinthians 5:9-13, ESV I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges [2] those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.”

Changes, changes, and changes

Have I ever mentioned that I don't do well with change? Even when it is beneficial. I finally got DSL at home, which has been a huge blessing. But now I am needing to set up a wireless network and it not just a plug and play - which shouldn't be a problem seeing as I am a tech geek and all, but I hate learning new things. Add to that that I recently got new laptops for both the company I work for and the agency I am contracted to... more learning. One PC also has a slightly differnt keyboard layout... now I know when I get used to it - it will be sweet... but until then it's just different. Too much change. LOL but the world does not sit still does it? I really do like the new gadgets and all... it's just a learning curve. Verse for today: Psalm 111, ESV Praise the Lord! I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart, in the company of the upright, in the congregation. Great are the works of the Lord, studied by all who delight in them. Full of splendor and majesty is his work, and his righteousness endures forever. He has caused his wondrous works to be remembered; the Lord is gracious and merciful. He provides food for those who fear him; he remembers his covenant forever. He has shown his people the power of his works, in giving them the inheritance of the nations. The works of his hands are faithful and just; all his precepts are trustworthy; they are established forever and ever, to be performed with faithfulness and uprightness. He sent redemption to his people; he has commanded his covenant forever. Holy and awesome is his name! The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all those who practice it have a good understanding. His praise endures forever!