For those who are anti-religion, i am about to lose you.  If my faith offends you, there is not much i can do about it, but i ask that you give this blog entry a chance.

    Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher,
        vanity of vanities! All is vanity.
    What does man gain by all the toil
        at which he toils under the sun?
    A generation goes, and a generation comes,
        but the earth remains forever.
    The sun rises, and the sun goes down,
        and hastens to the place where it rises.
    The wind blows to the south
        and goes around to the north;
    around and around goes the wind,
        and on its circuits the wind returns.
    All streams run to the sea,
        but the sea is not full;
    to the place where the streams flow,
        there they flow again.
    All things are full of weariness;
        a man cannot utter it;
    the eye is not satisfied with seeing,
        nor the ear filled with hearing.
    What has been is what will be,
        and what has been done is what will be done,
        and there is nothing new under the sun.
    Is there a thing of which it is said,
        “See, this is new”?
    It has been already
        in the ages before us.
    There is no remembrance of former things,
        nor will there be any remembrance
    of later things yet to be
        among those who come after.

    (Ecclesiastes 1:2-11 ESV)

This blog post was actually started in rough draft form several weeks before the tragedy that took place in Newtown, CT on Friday.  I have been concerned with a tendency to over legislate ourselves here in America.  When things are not working out our legislators pass some law, hoping to curb whatever behavior that has caused the issue.  There are times that something comes up that that needs some additional guidance and a new law should be passed, but i feel we over compensate.  Granted, lawyers often search out the most miniscule detail and will exploit it for the gain of whoever their clients are.  They rarely concern themselves with "intent" of the law, etc.  This is what propagates new laws being on the books to correct previous omissions, etc. The problem is, you can not legislate moral behavior.

We have all encountered the layman lawyer.  The person who always knows the answer, who always knows the 'truth'.  We also know a person (probably more than one) who feels that it is only illegal if they get caught.  More restrictions on the purchase of firearms may help, but i feel where we are failing as a society is that we are not teaching our children.  We have lost the right and wrong mentality, but too often it is not backed up with consequences.  

I have no idea, yet, of what Adam Lanza's mind was like.  I don't know if he had mental issues, or what set him off, but i do know that Connecticut has some of the most stricter laws in regards to gun ownership - and - he didn't own them.  He killed his own mother and stole them from her.  Now the call for more gun laws are being shouted even louder.

I am sorry, but more laws will not fix these sorts of problems.  Man is the Apex predator on the planet.  He is set apart, not only by opposable thumbs, but a brain that can work things out.  Some better than others, but basic problem solving is wired into every human's brain, and within that problem solving it includes how to get around boundaries and obstacles... such as rules.  A child does not need to be taught how to lie, or covet, or even steal.  Granted, not EVERY child does ALL of these things, but they do at least some of them - and i am willing to bet that if the first child thought they could get away with it without any consequences, they would do all of them at some point.  Timothy McVeigh didn't use a gun, he used diesel fuel and fertilizer.  On the very same day as the gun attack in Connecticut a man wielding a knife in China attacked kids in a school there. 

I am going to be honest here.  I have no crystal ball here.  I have ideas of what might work, and what might not.  I will not proclaim to be as sure as many who shout out in the media - from both sides.  One thing i do know for sure, the issue lies at the heart of the perpetrator.  It is impossible to legislate morality.  For decades now there has been an eroding of Judeo Christian values within the United States and the world.  Now, i will be among the first to say that us white - Anglo Saxon - protestants AND Catholics have not been the most inclusive, understanding, gracious, representatives of the God we proclaim to follow (the Crusades and Inquisition immediately come to mind, as well as other more recent historical examples), but we are being told a fallacy.  That man is a basically moral creature.  That we have developed these moral senses of right and wrong as we became more civilized.  To this i say - hogwash.  Just look at any country where law and order break down.  One could even take a deeper look at any social dynamic, even within a body of church goers, to see that selfishness and envy and anger are constant struggles.  It's not matter of what laws are in place to keep these things from 'exploding', it comes down to a matter of teaching what is right and wrong and how to deal with such issues - BEFORE - it gets out of hand.  One cannot teach that right and wrong is a matter of perspective without expecting a conflict to eventually arise.

---

The Narrow Gate

My beloved was once told by a Pastor's wife that the verse "Do unto others" was not in the Bible! While technically that is correct, the concept of it is though...

"So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets." (Matthew 7:12, ESV)

My blog today is not actually about the "Do unto others" but the verses that following along afterwards...

"Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy [1] that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few." (Matthew 7:13-14, ESV)

The picture that comes to my mind when i read/meditate on these verses is one of having to persistently look to the goal. To make a constant struggle (for lack of a better word coming to mind right now) to stay on course. No cruise control, no coasting. For me part of that struggle is maintaining a balance in my walk with God. I have noticed that God has not allowed me the "luxury" of becoming "legalistic" (again, a word chosen for lack of a good alternative at the ready) in my pursuit of fellowship. For me practices of "read three chapters a day", or "make sure you spend time in prayer at the same time everyday" have been very short lived. You see, i like patterns, i like set plans. So much so that things can become 'robotic'. I am doing them out of habit and i am not concentrating on the task at hand. So for me my life is a pretty good example of Ecclesiastes 3:1-15:

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.

What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God's gift to man.

I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him. That which is, already has been; that which is to be, already has been; and God seeks what has been driven away. [1](from the ESV)

There have been times in my life when i have had to push, to strive, to seek God in one way... but that season never lasts in my life. There always comes a time when i need to lean more on grace and seek God in another - new/different - way. The saying "there is nothing new under the sun" is also from Ecclesiastes (1:9), but i believe this in regards to a lot of man's bits of "wisdom" be it from Monastic Monks, Hindus, or 'Buddha'. That does not mean everything is good for me.

"All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up. Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor." (1 Corinthians 10:23-24, ESV)

I think a good example can be found in how i consider myself a "samurai" for Christ. I seek to pursue my Lord (Jesus Christ) like a samurai of feudal Japan would serve his earthly (human) master - but in all things however i pursue to serve my Lord... it must line up with the Bible. For example, if i stumble and fail my Lord (aka as sin) i do not have to commit ritual suicide to appease His honor (or my own for that matter). He has already taken that failure and paid the penalty. I am called to trust and have faith in His grace, His sacrifice on the cross on my behalf. So, in the end i do not see the Ying-Yang symbol as a symbol of some eternal struggle between good and evil. That struggle has already been resolved. Sin may still wage its war, but in the end it has been defeated. No, for me the symbol represents my own struggle to walk the path that God has laid out before me. The path may be straight, but it is i who struggles to maintain that straight line. My own internal struggle between "license" and legalism. Back when i was a "baby" Christian i used to wear a "patch" jacket. They used to be fairly popular in the 80's. The jacket was sort of a canvas in which to put patches, etc. to display things about your beliefs. Sort of like bumper stickers for pedestrians. 8) Anyway, mine was one i had made while i was in basic training. On my left should i proudly wore a Ying Yang Patch (pictured right), and i would often get "guff" from my fellow Christians about it. That "guff" stemmed from a misunderstanding about what it was i was proudly displaying. I was not saying i believed in the eternal struggle of good and evil, what i was saying is that i was proud to be a member of the 29th Infantry Division. We all need to be careful lest we fall, but what is harmful for me may not be harmful for a brother or sister - and vice versa. We all need to work out our salvation with earnest (Philippians 2:12-13). I will end with this:

The next day, as they were on their journey and approaching the city, Peter went up on the housetop about the sixth hour [2] to pray. And he became hungry and wanted something to eat, but while they were preparing it, he fell into a trance and saw the heavens opened and something like a great sheet descending, being let down by its four corners upon the earth. In it were all kinds of animals and reptiles and birds of the air. And there came a voice to him: “Rise, Peter; kill and eat.” But Peter said, “By no means, Lord; for I have never eaten anything that is common or unclean.” And the voice came to him again a second time, “What God has made clean, do not call common.” (Acts 10:9-15, ESV)

"For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7b, ESV)

Music Monday - 20081020

Another week of Fall... Ah! The smell of fireplaces and the sound of football. The explosion of color and the cool crisp air. I absolutely love this time of year. This weekend was a busy one. I was able to get the trenches for the deck support beams finished as well as the cement poured for the posts. I will need to make yet another trip to Lowes, but this time to make a return, and pick up some gravel to put around the beams to help prevent rot. But progress was made! \o/ This morning i got back to the gym for the first time in seventeen days. :/ That too felt good, but there are other things that have my beloved almost wrapped up in knots. :( I am unable to help her see through these trials of late. As I pondered this over the weekend i finally relied that her sense of peace does not come from me ultimately. It comes from our God and Savior, Jesus Christ. I have been failing her in trying to lead her in my own strength, and not through prayer. :( I will be working on this one... For some time i have pondered my salvation. I mean, i am a fairly intelligent guy (and i don't mean that in a boastful way) and i can recite passages out of the Bible, i can participate in a Bible study. But i still found myself wondering... when the day comes... will i be on the right, or the left. Will i be welcomed into the wedding feast or be left standing on the doorstep where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth. God is no respecter of persons. My deeds and abilities are not what determines whether i will be welcomed in. And i struggle with sin. Anger, selfishness, pride. I often fail not only my Lord, but my beloved, my family, my friends, my church. I know my acceptance is not based on my own works, but on what Christ accomplished on the cross. This morning it was nice to run into a local Pastor at the gym, whom i had never met before. We had two brief conversations and he told me that he "knew" i was a believer. I asked him how he "knew", and he said "I'm not sure, maybe it was the Holy Spirit". Now, again, he is not the be all and end all determination of my entrance into heaven, but it was good to hear something like that. Ok, enough about me... my song for this week...

On My Cross FFH How wide is Your love That You would stretch Your arms And go around the world And why for me would a Savior's cry be heard I don't know Why You went where I was meant to go I don't know Why You love me so Those were my nails That was my crown That pierced Your hands and Your brow Those were my thorns Those were my scorns Those were my tears that fell down And just as You said it would be You did it all for me And after You counted the cost You took my shame, my blame On my cross How deep is Your grace That you could see my need And chose to take my place And then for me, these words I'd hear You say Father no Forgive them for they know not what they do I will go Because I love them so Those were my nails that was my crown that pierced your hands and your brow those were my thorns those were my scorns those were my tears that fell down and just as you said it would be you did it all for me and after you counted the cost you took my shame, my blame on my cross those were my nails that was my crown that pierced your hands and your brow those were my thorns those were my scorns those were my tears that feel down and just as u said it would be u did it all for me and after u counted the cost you took my shame my blame on my cross after u counted the cost u took my shame, my blame on my cross

The truth of it all is that this world is fleeting. We can never be 100% certain of anything except in God. Man will fail, friends will fail us, institutions, even organized religion can fail fail us - but in the end God endures. I may fail Him, but He never fails me. Verse for today: Ecclesiastes 3 : 9-15, ESV What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God's gift to man.

I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him. That which is, already has been; that which is to be, already has been; and God seeks what has been driven away. [1]

Charlie Wilson's & Alternative Energy

I am not really sure how these two things are connected, but they were both on my mind so I thought I would blog about them.

Over the weekend I watched "Charlie Wilson's War" with my beloved. If you can get around the nudity, and the constant alcohol consumption, and Lord's name being used in vain, this is an interesting tale. Like most people in America I had no idea how direct (i.e. covert support) America support was for the Afghanistan struggle against the former U.S.S.R. Hindsight is 20/20 though. Near the end of the movie Gust is talking to Charlie just after the they were watching the news report of the last Russian soldier to leave Afghanistan. Gust tells the Congressman that he needs to follow up and help the Afghans rebuild their infrastructure, while overhead the sound of an airliner can be heard. The next scene Congressman Wilson is seen asking some committee for $1M to help the Afghans build schools, it is insinuated that he didn't get the money. The quote, which I am not 100% certain is from Congressman Wilson, as the movie fades to black says, "We changed the world, and then we fucked the end game."

I am not saying that America should boast about how we help rebuild various countries around the world. I think that is something that should be expected. Those who are given much are expected of much. But in this case our failure to help provide basic assistance to a country in need directly affected what happened twelve years later - in my opinion. Yes, we covertly helped the Afghans oust the Russian army, but we did we fail to help them overtly (or even covertly) when it was all over? Since my assessment of the results are in the past I cannot speak authoritatively on if the outcome would have been any different. But I do fail it was a huge failure on our part.

We have something similar going on now. I am not going to drum up reasons why we are in Iraq and Afghanistan now. That is water over the dam and there is nothing that can be done to change it. What is fact is that we are there now. I know America as a whole does not feel this way, but the United Nations has not proven itself capable of affecting change. We need to make sure that those governments are up and stable before we just pull out. How that can be accomplished can be debated - and I'm sure will be. No matter who sits in the White House after January 2009, their Vice President should be very, very busy. Not to mention their Secretary of State. We cannot afford to let those who are unwilling to live in peace to walk in and secure a nation for them to move their plans forward.

Our leaders, whether I 'approve' of them or not, are appointed by God. My ultimate trust is in God. Until His return sin, and the enemy of our souls, will continue to ruin and corrupt our efforts. But we need to continue on, and fight the good fight, because in that final day there can be no greater reward than to hear, "Well done".

Well, I have rambled on long enough about the one thing. I will have to pick up on #2 tomorrow.
Verse for today:
Ecclesiastes 3 : 1-8, ESV
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

Thomas Jonathon Jackson - aka "Stonewall"

For as long as I can remember I've had an affinity for the American Civil War (and by that I am referring to the one of the United States from 1861 until 1865 A.D.). Especially towards that of what was once called the Confederacy.

I'm not sure why really. Even my earliest memories about learning and studying of this war I remember knowing that slavery is (and was) wrong, and knowing full well that the morally correct side won (at least in that regards). Yet, I was (and am still today) was inspired by what the Southern soldiers, both private and officer alike, went through and accomplished. Sort of a sense of pride for what I perceived of some as-yet-unknown relative endured (I later found one such ancestor).

I have come to know that not everyone in the South supported slavery, and not all supported succession from the Union. But what they all did share was a love for their homeland, which was usually the state in which they were born into.

Two such leaders of the Confederacy were Generals Robert E. Lee, and "Stonewall" Jackson. Both men were men firm in their faith in God, and firm in their belief in what they were doing was the right thing to do. I've been reading the book "May I Quote You, Stonewall Jackson" and have really taken note of this man's convictions in regards to his faith and his philosophy towards war.

For example, there is a quote that says "A Chaplain should not be questioned as to what denomination he belongs to, but does he preach the Gospel!". And another in regards to his view of the war itself, "Every thing must be done to prevent war, but if that should fail the sword must be drawn and the scabbard tossed aside." (both of these are paraphrased as I forgot to bring the book with me today.) General Jackson was so devout in his faith (in one case he actually wrote a remorseful letter to his wife concerning a battle that took place on a Sunday where he says, "may it never have to happen again") that he was considered eccentric. He never shied away from proclaiming his faith, he never failed to let someone know where he stood in regards to his belief in his Lord Jesus Christ. I feel that the reason "Stonewall" was killed was because with him removed, General Lee would not be able to get the same kind of execution of the battle plans as with Jackson - and in the end, the loss of the war. At least sooner, rather than later. The only way the South could have won that war was if they had broken the will of the North to continue to wage war. Some believe if the South had won Gettysburg that is exactly what would have happened. I am not convinced of that, but then we will never know.

You will not see me running around with a Confederate Battle flag license plate, or attending some kind of rally wearing a bedsheet. I am convinced that, but God's providence, the Northern victory was the right outcome. President Lincoln's freeing of the salves was the right thing to do, even if it was not his original intention. But God has really been working on my heart of late. Especially in regards to dying to myself, discipline in life, and not always seeking out the 'softer' (or easier) road. In a very real sense, I see General TJ Jackson as a 19th century "samurai" in service to God.



Verse for today:
Ecclesiastes 7:8-13, ESV
Better is the end of a thing than its beginning,
and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.
Be not quick in your spirit to become angry,
for anger lodges in the bosom of fools.
Say not, “Why were the former days better than these?”
For it is not from wisdom that you ask this.
Wisdom is good with an inheritance,
an advantage to those who see the sun.
For the protection of wisdom is like the protection of money,
and the advantage of knowledge is that wisdom preserves the life of him who has it.
Consider the work of God:
who can make straight what he has made crooked?

What is the balance?

Ecclesiastes 3 tells us there is a time for everything under the sun. A "blogging friend" was kind enough to drop by and visit my blog - despite a schedule even more crazy than mine. I think I am not communicating effectively - at least not through my blog. I know I mostly blog for myself, to help me work out thoughts, etc. - but this is a public forum, and God has used feedback (in the form of comments from visitors) in my life. I have no 'self righteous' belief that God uses only one way to reach people. After all, the human race is not a group of identical siblings or robots. I was not trying to say that the conference, or "seeker" oriented services were a waste of time, or something to that affect. What I was trying to say is that I feel that they could be so much more than they are. Advertising is all about building up a product so that those seeing the ad will have a desire to go out and aquire said product. The better a job the company does in marketing its products, the better it is going to sell. Even bad advertising garners some interest and rememberance of a product. Does anyone remember that "rat-looking" thing that Quizno's used some time back? Man that thing freeked me out, and really did not make me want to go to their shops. But, now, even years later, I still remember those ads and the "products" it was selling. God can, and does, use all things in the lives of those who seek Him and are called according to His purpose. What I am trying to say is I feel the gospel should be proclaimed boldly. Grace needs to be proclaimed boldly. We should not shy away from describing sin and its affects. I have seen many instances of 'baby' Christians who hear the 'watered down' gospel. They see their need for a Saviour, the see the need for redemption. but they never move beyond that. The result is Christians who do not see a need to serve in their local church. They do see the need to grow. Then over time, the impression is "I've heard all this before". We all go to the same church (speaking within the weekly context, and the group that goes to a particular church body) week in, and week out. We are all at different points in our walk with Christ. But if all we do is tend to those who are just starting along the path, or for those who have yet to even realize that they are not on the right one... at what point do those who are further along get fed? At what point do they grow into mature believers who can then reach behind and help those who stumble or are having trouble taking the next step? And make no mistake... just as a dear pastor once shared (quoting George Orwell) with his congregation, "sometimes the first duty of intelligent men is the restatement of the obvious.” The most obvious base need of man is their need for a Savior. Let it never be declared that we took the easy road, but that we declared the ultimate message. That of the lord Jesus Christ, and what He accomplished on the cross for us. Verse for today: 1 Corinthians 2:1-5, ESV And I, when I came to you, brothers, [1] did not come proclaiming to you the testimony [2] of God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.

Peace reigns

Well... things remain busy right now. It is hard to keep my thoughts straight. Speaking as a troop I can say that voting on "non-binding" resolutions do not support the troops. I know the motivation is our ultimate well being (i.e. wanting to bring them home ealier) but it does not help the morale or wellfare of the troops. The troop in the field sees that as a lack of support. (S)He sees that as an undermining of what they are working for. Such public displays of dissention actually motivate those seeking to harm them. To tell a soldier how much you disapprove of the very thing they are getting ready to head into is not helpful. A soldier/sailor/airman heading into such situations needs to keep their head on striaght - 100% focused on the tasks before them. A distracted or disheartened soldier is either a dead soldier, or a ineffective one. When I sent out an e-mail to friends and family requesting prayers for what may be before me - it was not the most helpful thing to receive an e-mail lecturing me on politics and their personal view of the war. All it did was undermine my focus. I fully support this person's point of view in that they are entitled to their opinion. But I am not really in a position to change policies. I cannot just say wuch-and-such and make things happen. I am in the position that I am being told to do (or might be told to do) certain things that obviously this person disagrees with. There is not a king, president, shiek, etc. that was not allowed by God. (Psalm 148, Daniel 4) There is time for debate. There is room for disagreement. It is a part of what America is founded on. But there are times when it is used of the enemy to prevent good things from happening. To be honest I am not sure of the why's and wherefor's on when America has done what it's done. But what has been done cannot be undone. We need to focus on moving forward and doing the best that we can for those involved. If we can focus on that the end result will be better for all involved. The end result will come about more quickly. Then, once the troops are out of harm's way - then is the time to be expressive against the policies. I realized I've rambled on long enough. And I am sure many will not agree with me. I just ask that those who do read realize that their perception and ideas may not be the right ones either. Only God knows the end from the beginning. I know God does not desire war, but ever since sin entered the world, the ideal is no longer possible until our Savior's return. We will trip over our (man's) sin everytime. Pride, selfishness, jealousy. Ecclessiasties 3 puts it pretty well:

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.

When I stand before God I know there will be a great many things that I believed fervantly - but will be mistaken about. But when I do stand there I want my heart to be pure. I want to run the race well. I want to hear "Well done".

Do you want fries with that?

It has been a crazy morning so when some co-workers asked if I wanted to head over to "Barney's" for a quick bite to eat I jumped at the chance. I did pretty good in that I got the soup and sandwhich (vegetable soup and chicken salad on whole wheat toast). But when the waitress comes back and asks if I wanted a slice of pie it was like I didn't even hesitate! Sure, says I. *sigh* Now I'm paying the price. I feel really full and I feel guilty for spending too much money. Well, it was still nice to get out of the office for about an hour. Just a nice sanity break. I hope you all have a wonderful and God glorifying day. Verse for today: Ecclesiastes 9:7-10, ESV Go, eat your bread with joy, and drink your wine with a merry heart, for God has already approved what you do. Let your garments be always white. Let not oil be lacking on your head. Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun. Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might, [2] for there is no work or thought or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol, to which you are going.

Do everything as if unto the Lord

I enjoy writting. I like to get things done around the house. I like to things with, and for, my friends. But I often find myself checking up to see what kind of response I get. Maybe not so much with my friends. But I want to know if what I did blessed them. If they appreciated the time or effort. I am not sure if my motives are for them to think more highly of me, or if I want to know what I really did was effective. Did it increase their joy in some way. I'd like to think that it is more of the latter. There is nothing like a sense of accomplishment. To see a project get done. Maybe even just maintenance. Sort of a sense of fulfillment that I am taking care of the things that the Lord has given me. If it was just me at home I'd probably be doing something from the time aI got up until the time I went to bed. Probably a lot of circles being run. But there are times when I do have a few hours all to myself at home amd I hitting the 'to do list' (honey-do or my-do)? No! I will usually take every advantage to just do nothing. Veg, watch TV or even just sleep. But then I am left with a feeling of disapppointment. Like I know I needed to do something else - and I waisted the chance. With my short stories (you can read them here: samurai's yarns, if you are interested) I post them on several websites. One is sponsored by the parent company that produces Necromunda, another is a fan-based site of Games Workshop games. I will often revisit those sites frequently (much more often than I should) after I've posted a story. I want to know how it was received. Was it a good story? Are people really liking the work or am I just a person cranking out words on a page? I've never had aspirations for publication. I like to write the stories. For myself mostly, and I doubt that many would pay for what I write. Just rambling here... but I should do all that I do as if unto the Lord. Verse for the day: Ecclesiastes 2:24-26, ESV There is nothing better for a person than that he should eat and drink and find enjoyment [2] in his toil. This also, I saw, is from the hand of God, for apart from him [3] who can eat or who can have enjoyment? For to the one who pleases him God has given wisdom and knowledge and joy, but to the sinner he has given the business of gathering and collecting, only to give to one who pleases God. This also is vanity and a striving after wind.

Winds of Change

I don't do well with change - and yet God has set things in motion (or at the very least allowed things to move). I refinanced my house in order to get out from under a ballon mortgage. The interest rate was slightly higher, but still below 6% and now I know it is locked for the term of the loan, and I will not have to worry about it all coming due too quickly. The only changes from now on will be the insurance premium and the taxes. One thing we did do was to take some equity out of the house to replace our aging minivan. It was eleven years old, needed brake work, cooling and exhaust system work, and had several cosmetic things wrong (sliding door would not lock in place - caused a few bruises). Just to fix the mechanical things would have been about $2k, so for peace of mind in the short term we replaced it. There are some other things, but I'd prefer to not post them here. The valleys can be long and dark, but when we hit those hill tops walking with the Lord - the view is spectacular. And my valleys are nothing compared to what some have to deal with. For me I try and focus on what God is showing me where I am at. Just like I try not to compare my blessings, I try not to compare my hardships. God has His own plan for each of us. How he molds me into the image of His Son is not the same how he will mold another. His ways are not my ways... and for that I am very, very grateful. Verse for today: Ecclesiastes 8:14-15, ESV There is a vanity that takes place on earth, that there are righteous people to whom it happens according to the deeds of the wicked, and there are wicked people to whom it happens according to the deeds of the righteous. I said that this also is vanity. And I commend joy, for man has no good thing under the sun but to eat and drink and be joyful, for this will go with him in his toil through the days of his life that God has given him under the sun.