Music Monday - 20080922

What a weekend. Friday was spent moving and waiting between my house and the hospital that was over 25 miles away (the Urologists in my hometown do not take my insurance). Everything went well and we were home by 7:30pm. My beloved had a 4mm stone. Now, to be honest, when i first heard that i didn't think that was all that big, but after further consideration i think that thing was HUGE! I mean, picture a 4mm object trying to flow through such a tiny little tube... and then picture that happening to you! ;-) One bad thing is that i woke up Friday morning to the realization that a pretty decent head cold had taken a grip upon me. But it was not truly felt until Saturday. The rest of the weekend i spent in slow motion. Normally my beloved tries to make sure i can get rest when i am not feeling well but this weekend i had to be on my feet to make sure she was getting her rest. Poor kids ate a lot of PB&J. ;) Several friends helped out by watching them on Friday till we got home, and by bringing meals through last night. Very helpful, and a God send. I don't know if it was because of being under the weather, or if this is truly something God is trying to show me but it would seem that God has been showing me my 'place', if you will, within the body of Christ. I am not liking what i am seeing in regards to how i am actually doing/being/performing within the body, but in regards to my role/function i am remarkably comfortable. I always fancied myself as one who could be withing the leadership of the church, but in reality i am not much of a leader. I am a pretty good 'soldier' if-you-will, but not one who fashions ideas and plans. Not one who executes initiative. That is not to say that there are not times i should act in such ways, just that they are not my 'natural' inclination. When the realization of such things came over me i thought i should be more disagreeable, but God was fairly gentle in these revelations. He kindly showed me examples in my own life while unfolding it. I have been too busy trying to keep the house and kids moving to really meditate on this... i am hoping that it is not just me wanting to be lazy. Who knows, maybe it is a means in which God is trying to "wake me up". I mean, isn't it the "American Way" to always seek out leadership? To seize the initiative and show others the way to go? Ok, on to my usual blogging subject matter. I chose today's song because Micheal W Smith has long been an inspiration to me when it comes to worship. "Draw Me Close to You" is call we all really long to sing. Even those who never turn from their sins and accept what Christ has accomplished feel this tug. Just like his Word says, "...every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess [2] to God" (Romans 14:11, ESV).

Draw Me Close to You by Kelly Carpenter sung by Micheal W Smith (YouTube video below) Draw me close to you Never let me go I lay it all down again To hear you say that I'm your friend You are my desire No one else will do Cause nothing else can take your place To feel the warmth of your embrace Help me find the way Bring me back to you You're all I want You're all I've ever needed You're all I want Help me know you are near

Could there be anything more desirous? Anything more worth pursuing? May God be with each and every one of you this day. Verse for today: Psalm 25 : 4-5, ESV Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.

Thedaysjustallblendtogether

Fall is still my favorite time of the year, but when the kids get back to school my life speeds up so much that i don't really get much time to enjoy it. :( At least it feels that way. Don't get me wrong. Summers are pretty busy with family things and all. We go on the family vacations, we get a chance to catch up with friends, but once the school bell rings things just take off. DD3 has music and soccer. DS2 has horse therapy, social skills, autism support group (more for my beloved and i), as well as dealing with the various issues that come up. DS1, well he is almost a teenager. Thankfully he decided to not do any extra curricular activities, but he still takes some time - as all children do (and should). Like Calvin (from cartoon fame) once said, "the days are just packed". LOL. I don't know how single parents do it. Even with my beloved being "under the weather" these past two weeks, she has still contributed some, a lot more than it should be expected i think, and i am getting worn just trying to keep up with the little bit extra. Thankfully she will be back in the game a little bit more after tomorrow. Not at full capacity right away, but she will definitely be on the road back (i hope, and pray). Speaking of which, i will not be blogging tomorrow as i will be with my beloved all day so here is my nod towards football. Last week the Panthers had another great game! Of course it was 'great' because they won. ;) The defense made a late stand and stopped the Bears on a key 4th down at midfield. This week they travel to take on the Vikings (my best friend from High School's favorite team) and they will have their hands full. I know Steve Smith will be coming back, and I know the Vikes have been struggling, but I can't help be cautiously optimistic. The Vikings have benched their QB and have decided to go with Gus Frerotte. This is a QB that has done some good things coming off the bench in his past. He was a starter at one point in his career. He is also a QB that the Panthers will have limited game film on. Still, my fantasty team will hopefully get a boost with good ol' #89 back on the field. I hope you all experience the wonders of God's amazing grace this weekend. Verse for today: Psalm 86 : 8-13, ESV There is none like you among the gods, O Lord, nor are there any works like yours. All the nations you have made shall come and worship before you, O Lord, and shall glorify your name. For you are great and do wondrous things; you alone are God. Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name. I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name forever. For great is your steadfast love toward me; you have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol.

Wow, is it Wednesday already?

This week has been kind of a blur. I am still feeling the affects from this past weekend, but life doesn't slow down. :) No time to get off the Merry-go-Round to rest. Me beloved will be having out-patient surgery to have a kidney stone removed on Friday. This is a great thing, but it complicates other things. The complications are in that my brother is coming through town over the weekend and will be staying with us, and I was hoping to go and catch up with what I hope to be recurring breakfasts with some of my fellow retired Guardsmen. But, and more importantly, it is a great thing because my beloved is in so much pain. When a woman who has delivered all three children without a scalpel tells me that it is worse than childbirth - she has my attention. She has been dealing with this little rock for over two weeks now and has been a trooper. Always wanting to do more, always regretting when she cannot. My motivations for making sure she gets this thing taken out are purely selfish. The meds she has been taking make her highly irritable and to my discredit I have not been as understanding as I should. I have been picking up some of the load to help, but my attitude needs some work. I need to cut this short today... may God's perfect peace and grace meet each of you where you are today. Oh - P.S. - if any of you know how I can allocate a wider space for my sidebar (seen right), please drop me a note or post a comment. Thank you in advance. Verse for today: Proverbs 17 : 5, ESV Whoever mocks the poor insults his Maker; he who is glad at calamity will not go unpunished.

Did anyone get the make and model of that truck?

It's been a little over five weeks since i started dragging my tired old bones out of bed at 5:45 to get out the door to the gym. I wouldn't say it's definitely a habit yet, but i am enjoying it more. Yesterday though i was bone tired. Saturday the church i go to had a youth trip planned to King's Dominion, but late the week before it was in danger of being canceled. Not wanting DS1 to be disappointed i called up our Youth Pastor (the one who said he didn't have a 'passion' for the middle schoolers) and told him I would like to help drive, or do something to save the trip. Long story short we found six adults willing to drive and chaperon and made the trip. It was a long, hot, day - but a good time was had by all. Sunday my poor beloved was still suffering from a kidney stones. I have never (so far) had them so I cannot quite relate to what she is going through, but i can tell she is not a real happy camper. I have been encouraging her to relax and just work on getting through this (call doctors, etc.). The end result has been me picking up a little bit extra to do. She feels terrible, but to be honest, i would rather her get through this thing and feel better, then to make it last longer and feel miserable. Besides, the medication the doctors put her on make her sleepy, irritable, and down right miserable anyway. She has a follow up appointment with a urologist this afternoon. Yesterday i woke up beat-dead-tired. It didn't help that i had stayed up WAY too late Sunday night trying to spend time with my beloved, but i forced myself up and to the gym anyway. By the time I got to work I was so fatigued that i was actually trembling slightly. I was considering going home and getting back into bed but the day had other plans. By the time i had a moment to update my little blog here i just couldn't get up the motivation. So my apologies dear readers. "Music Monday" will return to it's regular time slot next week (hopefully). Some misc. ramblings... I was very happy to see that the Carolina Panthers pulled out another win this past Sunday. What a game! The first half Chicago's defense was smothering the Panther's offense, but they came alive in the second half. I am not a sports writer, so my "coverage" of the game is not all that in depth. Besides, there are plenty of other sources better than me out here on the web. To be honest, when Steve Smith earned his suspension for two games I thought that if the Panthers went 1-1 i would be happy. At 2-0 i am an ecstatic fan! The NFL season is a long one, and there are still fourteen more games to be played. Some against some very formidable opponents (Tampa Bay twice, New Orleans twice, the defending Super Bowl champions, to name a few). There will be injuries to overcome, and some just plain bad weeks. But i hope i can enjoy the ride for a while longer. Our home computer was sliding into the grave ever so slowly. The video card was not working with various programs that it once was able to, both of the disk drives would no longer open (well, one was temperamental, the other was plan old broke) so when I took it in to get fixed the difference in cost between repair and replacement was very little - I opted to just replace it. Growing pains are being experienced by all. Today i should be able to pick up the new system complete with a full file transfer from old to new. One good thing though... i found out that i probably will not have to spend as much as i thought i would have to on a laptop. Sweet! That means i can start saving for something else sooner. My next goal is to save for a sizable portion to take the family on a longer vacation. Well, that's all for now. God bless. Verse for today: Proverbs 16 : 2-7, ESV All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit. Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established. The Lord has made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble. Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the Lord; be assured, he will not go unpunished. By steadfast love and faithfulness iniquity is atoned for, and by the fear of the Lord one turns away from evil. When a man's ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.

Football and/or Fallout Fridays

Man that was an awesome win by the Carolina Panthers last weekend. The first half of that game the Panthers controlled the clock for over 19 minutes. It is telling of how good a team the Chargers are in that it was still only 9-7 at the half. Even with the Panthers going up by 9 in the 4th quarter I was not ready to say that it was won. I got so tied up in knots that I had to stop watching the updates on my phone when Carolina drove to the San Diego 14 with 00:02 left on the clock, and it was 4th and 1. I decided to stop clicking the update button and just step back, take a breath and wait for five more minutes. Then, the game would be over and I could just check the final score. A minute and a half later my dad calls to congratulate me and tell me all about the awesome pass Delhomme threw to Rosario catch in the end zone. What makes that such an awesome phone call is that my dad is a die hard Washington Redskins fan. It has taken him a little while to accept that I had left the Redskins fan club and become a Panthers fan like I have. But we still like to talk football from time to time. He's even taken me to several Panthers/Redskins games over the years (the Redskins have won each and every one of those games - that we've attended). This week I will be cheering for the Redskins as they travel to New Orleans to take on the Saints. The Panthers are going to have a tough game against a very physical Chicago Bears club. The Bears manhandled the Indianapolis Colts last week. The slight edge in that Carolina will be at home and will not have to fly, but Coach Fox has had trouble winning at home - he is 25-24 at home while being 32-22 on the road. I won't be able to see this game live either, but you can believe I will be watching the play-by-play on my cell phone! It is only week 2 in the NFL and one cannot read too much into anything yet. Not even if the Panthers come out on Sunday evening at 2-0. There will still be 14 more games to be played. I am really trying to just enjoy football. The news on the Fallout 3 front will probably be pretty slim for the next six weeks or so. I am still pretty stoked about this game. I doubt I will be playing it for more than an hour or two a week so it will take me forever to complete the game - which is excellent. An interesting development was that Bethesda Software has changed the 'drug use' within the game. This is a link to an article explaining the specifics, but in general it is that they have taken out 'real world' name references and replaced them with generic names. Not sure what difference that makes, but... I have 'discovered' two people in the past week who have majored in "Psych" in college, but neither were currently using it. I've though about asking them if I should be worried about my interest in most things apocalyptic. But, do I really want to know the answer to that? :p lol Verse for today: Proverbs 12 : 1-5, ESV Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid. A good man obtains favor from the Lord, but a man of evil devices he condemns. No one is established by wickedness, but the root of the righteous will never be moved. An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. The thoughts of the righteous are just; the counsels of the wicked are deceitful.

September 11th

I am pretty confident that today's news, blog-sphere, and general water cooler commentary will be about the events that occurred seven years ago today. At least here in the United States. There are now four events in my life that i remember where i was when they occurred. This being the most recent and thus the most clear in my memory. I remember where i was, my immediate reactions, my reactions to comments made by friends, my contemplation of things afterwords, and how it affected me and my family over all. I don't want to overlay myself and my experiences on what happened. Each of us should take a moment to reflect on what did happen, and what God would have each of us do moving forward. Verse for today: 2 Timothy 1 : 3-7, ESV I thank God whom I serve, as did my ancestors, with a clear conscience, as I remember you constantly in my prayers night and day. As I remember your tears, I long to see you, that I may be filled with joy. I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well. For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

Samson, Delilah, Blade Runner, and 'interesting' connections within my brain

I know this may seem an odd string of thoughts, but please bear with me. :) Last night i was watching the season premier for Terminator: SCC (The Sarah Connor Chronicles) and a few things stuck in my mind. The first was the background theme. Then there was the point where Agent Ellison was confronted by Chromartie, but was spared. Then lastly the spot at the end where Cameron was sitting in the chapel in front of the Crucifix. I've done some digging since last night (not very exhaustive due to time, etc.) and have found out that the shows 'theme song', and script was loosely based off of recording of Brice Springsteen's performance of a song called 'Samson and Delilah / If I had my way'. (Read Josh Friedman's blog entry about it here.) I was actually able to catch some of the lyrics of the new rendition of the song while watching the show and the references to the relationships within the show. It just struck me that a man of God such as Samson was brought low because of a temptation in his own life. I will not be specific here, but i drew some parallels of Samson (Judges 16) and my own life. Obviously I am no where near as strong, or influential, as he was. I was just comparing my own walk with the Lord and some of the struggles i go through. Early on in the episode Agent Ellison was the last man standing on an FBI SWAT-like botched raid. He was standing near the pool, trying to reload and get ready for what was coming when Chromartie confronts him. Anyone who knows anything about the Terminator series knows that Agent Ellison is dead where he stands, but no. As Agent Ellison readies himself for the inevitable killing blow Chromartie doesn't deliver. Instead he steps around Agent Ellison and walks off. This left Ellison to contemplate a lot of things. This character is already working through his own faith (he is a Christian in how he is portrayed within the series), but the events within the show really has him working things out. I like this character because it is a lot like how each of us will have to work through in our lives and our own walk with Christ. One of the last scenes has Agent Ellison standing outside a scene of a confrontation between Sarah, John, Cameron, and some 'bad guys' from last season - when Chromartie shows up. Agent Ellison tells Chromartie, "I will never lead you to them. If that's why you left me alive you might as well kill me now." The Terminator just replies, "We'll see." The last thing that struck me while i was watching the show (over the course of a couple of hours due to various obligations - thus i am not so sure how cohesive these really are - LOL) was when Cameron enters a street front chapel like place and you can tell that she (or would it be better to refer to her as it?) is taking in the Crucifix on the back wall. Fast forward, as i don't want to give too much away, near the end of the show Sarah comes into the room. At one point Cameron asks, "Do you believe in the resurrection?" Sarah replies something along the lines of, "with what I've seen I have my doubts". Isn't it interesting how we will use any excuse of what we experience in life to cause doubt to creep in. At one point Cameron comments, "I am not programed for faith", and yet we (human beings) are. If it's in Christ, or some other god, or science, or global warming, or evolution, or whatever. When we come to the end of our own reason and we can't explain something we believe in we rely on faith. All of this, and especially the question "Do you believe in the resurrection?", got me to thinking about not just Christ's resurrection... but my own as well. My death was not on a cross, but we are called to die to ourselves and this world and be raised in Christ. But what happens when we stumble and fall flat on our faces? Ultimately we will not be raised, or resurrected, until that final day. When we are finally able to shrug off the trappings of this world and fully immerse ourselves in the next. Lately I am seeing signs of arthritis in my hands. The pointers on both hands are twisting slightly and they have begun to ache. It looks almost like the robots from "Blade Runner", or at least it makes me think of them. How they fought to prolong their life, to try and figure out the meaning of their lives. In the end they had no hope of a resurrection - but glory to God i (we) do! \o/ Verse for today: 1 Thessalonians 4 : 13-18, ESV But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, [4] that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore encourage one another with these words.